Wish granted but your new Vice President was your competition in the primaries!

I wish I had less medical issues!

Granted, but you only compete in the "power walking" event and come in dead last.

I wish my laundry was washed, dried, ironed and put away.

Originally Posted by zogo:
I wish my laundry was washed, dried, ironed and put away.

Granted, but it was performed by an infestation of singing cockroaches!

I wish I could stop procrastinating and finish the article I'm working on.

Granted, but they will both be born with four fully functional arms and an extreme need to run around and touch things and be crazy!

I wish I could travel this summer

Granted, but you will travel without the passport, with huge baggage and with your own feet)
i wish i could eat everything and never get fat)

Granted....you do not get fat but instead you shrink and shrink and shrink til you are 6 inches tall....

I wish I could have a week completely to myself to do whatever I want

Wish granted! But you have prostitutes always loitering outside of your new club, and everyone has fake Ids, they're identical to the legit Ids so you're giving away booze that you shouldn't and the cops find out. Now you're in hot water!

I wish my family lived closer to me!

Wish granted! But you divorce them both...oops!

I wish I wasn't such a tough stick with IVs and blood draws!

Granted, but no one can touch you because you will bleed with any type of human contact.

I wish the people in all the Earth were healthy, wealthy, wise, and tolerant.

Granted: But then aliens take notice and start abducting people for experiments.

I wish I could just pass all CPA exams this summer.

Wish granted! But once you pass, you have a very demanding clientele and boy, do they ever drive you nuts!!

I wish I didn't have so many allergies!