olecat : for figuring out the calories, do you have a cellphone, iphone, ipad or ipod? there is a lot of apps that might help you with that!

lockitup : well, when my friend and I see each other, it is REALLY a princess day : for exemple, we always bring out tiaras when we go hiking. The face of the people we meet is priceless hehe.

Get well soon *hugs*

alexis : Bleeeh slushy snow for skiing : HATE THEM! Do you snowboard AND ski?

This 17 days diet seems ... frugal a bit! Is there any indication on the quantity of food? Oh and I watch the first episode of fat fighters... OMG THE LADY WITH THE WIP!!!!! LOL

bayzee : I'm on the same boat of having all the trouble in the world staying OP. I still blame it on going back on holidays, but I don't think it is a valid excuse after being back fro 12 days now hehe

ohtheplaces : hope you had fun at the wedding! welcome back!

krampus : Oh god, that sucks for your roomates? Terrible kids?

***

Hiiiiii.

Walk of shame coming your way. I'm doing so bad. So sosososo bad. Bleeeh. Yesterday was oooookay until after dinner when I had a craving and ate a big bag of popcorn by myself. They were light popcorn, but still, the whole bag was 300 calories.

Plus I just had the WORST 3.5 km run ever. I had to stop and walk 40 seconds... Plus I did some lighs hills for the first time today (two) and I'm kinda scared I triggered the weird feeling in my hip back on. Gonna go back to the flat track I was going last week on tuesday.

But seriously. This run was HORRIBLE. I have the exact same feeling I was getting when I started running, 25-30 pounds heavier, after not doing sport for AGES. It's like this never ending mental fight going on, about eventually I will get back in shape and it will feel better against the ''ffffffff u running sucks so bad I'm never doing this crap again''. Running was always the greatest time of my day and now it's like the worst... BLEEEEEEEH.

Hey Feathers! Sorry,I know it’s been a few days but I was out of town and didn’t get back untillate last night and then spent all day today going over my new program andgetting ready to start TOMORROW!

For legal reasons I can’t go into a lot of the exact detailsof the program but so far it doesn’t seem too bad. The intimidating part is knowing what’s tocome! I’m starting out with a moderateamount of cardio and the workouts themselves aren’t nearly as crazy as the onesI do on my own, but the diet is the key and the part that is going to challengeme a bit more.

I am eating more calories than normal for a ‘diet’, but thehard part is what I can’t have; sugar. Like, in ANY form. No dairy at allto include cheese, yogurt, cottage cheese, etc. No fruit. No veggies with highersugar levels. No ‘extras’ of anykind. Nothing with aspartame, no gum,crystal light type drink mixes, bread, nut butters with more than 2g sugar perserving… I could go on and on.

I assume that as we progress the cardio will increase and he’llstart removing carbs from my diet to keep things moving along, but I reallyhave no idea.

Anyway, after this past weekend I’m SO EXCITED and so readyto get started. I swear if you cut meopen I’d bleed cheesecake right now. I’minto my fat pants and feel like total crap. Its $hitty because I told myself that I would never be that woman whoyo-yos for no good reason. I KNOW how tomaintain but I guess I just got lazy and tired of it. I’m just happy to take this time to get itunder control NOW before things really got out of control.

Well, wish me luck!



We had a lot of fun this weekend but it was so crappyknowing I won’t see my bestie for over a year! There is a chance I might get to spend Thanksgiving with her when shehas her mid-tour (they give a little ‘vacation’ to people deployed for a yearor longer for a week or two where they can go home and relax for a bit.) somaybe that will work out. I’m going tomiss her though. L

We saw Django Unchained (I actually really liked it), atejust about every kind of Cheesecake they had at the Cheesecake Factory, hadabout 10 million cocktails of the totally sugary variety and generally destroyedour bodies. I made it to the gym atleast, but that was just a fluke… haha I know it did nothing for me and I wasso hungover and bloated it was just disgusting.

Speaking of disgusting, I have to weigh myself tomorrow so Iknow what my starting weight is. I wouldNOT be surprised to see 130 or more. Yikes.



I still have to cook my meals for tomorrow and get my craptogether so I’ll do personals tomorrow or later this evening if I have time tocome back around to it. I may even justhave to do them one at a time but I promise I’ll do it!

OH Yeah, check out that S/C/G under my picture... I've gained almost 20 pounds since Christmas. Sweet.

Dropped another pound over night. Now just 4 more pounds to get down to where I was before the holidays! I can DO this, even though I feel pouty and want to eat take-out Chinese food and order pizza and all those things I let myself do over the holidays that caused the weight gain in the first place! I am going to a friend's house for dinner tonight (good, healthy food usually, like lentil soups, but always wonderful homemade baked stuff, too). Another friend wants me to visit this weekend (she lives about 2 hours from me) and one of her favorite things in the world to do is bake, d'oh! There are minefields EVERYWHERE when you want to drop weight, let me tell you.

@Bayzee - I'm so going to use that (at least for during the week) after the next time I can even get to the grocery store (seriously, my schedule doesn't even allow it right now until maybe the weekend!). Is there a particular brand that does higher protein Greek yogurt or did you get it at a specialty store?

@Lockitup - I like the buzz, too, with wine, which is why I had a small glass of REAL wine last night, haha. I mean, I had the day from you-know-what and I'm horrified by the amount of classwork that will be expected from me from one of my classes and I am realizing that I may not have much of a life for the next few months - so yes, needed that wine when I got home after being gone for over 12 hours!

@krampus - heh, see my response above to Lockitup! YES, sometimes we need that buzz! I am a literacy teacher at an elementary school, but I remember my very first teaching job like 10 years ago, and I came home crying almost every day for awhile! So I feel for your roommate!

@Alex - heh, there IS a very good music school at my university and there probably are practice facilities...I should check those out. I actually wish I just knew someone who played the piano so I could do some singing (it's been a really long time, but one thing I used to love to do in college was go with my roommate to a practice room and she would play the piano and I would sing selections from various musicals! ) Yikes that food looks like it doesn't have much substance, but I like the idea of the combination of eggs and veggies and protein and Greek yogurt...I would agree to up the calorie amount, though!

@Jossfit - I imagine a LOT of that weight will fall off pretty quickly once you get back on the program. I don't think one can seriously gain 20 real pounds in just a few weeks? A portion of it has to be water weight that will fall off once you clean your diet.

@turbo - I DO have apps galore on my phone. It still just takes so much time to look stuff up!

I'm actually up today! WTH? I can't believe it. They only thing tha I can think of is I'm retaining wter from lifting alot heavier than usual.
My eating and workouts are perfect this week so far. This totally sucks!
_____________________________
Joss...Holy Crap...there is no way that is all fat! You'll be a lean machine before no time. Your pics do not reflect 137!

Olecat...I eat Oikos by Danone...0% PLAIN. It does not taste great, but you gest used to it. Add berries to it. Sometimes I buy Liberté 0% plain but I can't always get it and I'm not sure you can get in the U.S.

Back later for more personals.

Krampus – That’s for the good vibes sent. It KINDA helped lol. I still didn’t keep to the plan I intended on, but I was down a little this morning (still UP, but down from yesterday).

Bayzee – I know what you mean about needed to see a drop to stay motivated. I’m seriously considering doing some low carbing just to get that water drop at the beginning to gain some motivation.

Alexistrophic – If he knows you I suppose it was good advice then. I never got into Fat Fighters, but I LOVE the UK show Superfat vs Superskinny, and there was another one now I can’t think of the name! I love them! I’ll have to check out Fat Fighters!

TurboMammoth – That’s just awesome! I know what you mean about running, I think that’s why I’ve been putting off my 1st run back. It can be so discouraging to be right in the midst of being confronted with the price we pay for not running for a while. The good thing is that the endurance does build back up quickly!

JossFit – I’m so glad you had a fun trip!!! I’m sorry that you won’t be able to see your friend for so long, that’s really tough! That diet sounds BRUTAL! I have no doubt you will do it hardcore though! I know you are serious about this and you will work it! I HOPE you are taking that starting weigh-in in stride. I won’t down play it because I know that it won’t comfort you anyway – but I’d bet good money a chunk of that will be gone in a week! How often are you weighing in?


Olehcat – Boy I am pouty too! I almost wish mine were holiday pounds, mine are pounds from the past WEEK. LAME!


Man, we're missing a lot of feathers over here!

I'm feeling a bit better today, still like a total head cold, but I don't feel like death anymore. My weight was a bit down today, but I'm still up 4 pounds from my lowest weight on January 9th. It'll be off in no time if I can actually STICK TO SOMETHING!

Turbo ~ Heehee... I love that lady - Her handle is "Ms. Red Hot Dalia" And "frugal" is a good word for that meal plan. I ended up adding in a lot more to bump up the cals. And I LOVE this picture of you and your friend hiking with tiaras. REally, why would any lady hike without them?

Joss ~ You might bleed cheesecake right now, but your bones are solid steel and grit. I second everyone who says that you'll drop that extra weight in no time.

Olehcat ~ Oh, baking.. the downfall of many a healthy eating streak. And you're a singer, too! Bet you're good. I had to work really hard to get myself back in the musical game (couple bad experiences and needed to get my confidence back) but now it's one of my favorite activities.


~~~
This is my "getting back on the rails" post.

Dropped 3 lbs of water overnight and it feels good. I'm about 5 lbs away from the lower end of my comfortable range.

I've started chatting again with the "skinny army guy" from over the summer and we've planned to meet up in Maryland the second week of Feb (2/9). The more I interact with him, the more I find myself appreciating him, so this is a good thing. The challenge is that he's 140 soaking wet on a fat day. He's been in the army for about 3 years and he's UP from his college weight of 120. Oh, to have that kind of body... Now I feel like I have a goal/deadline to get in shape, even though it's all for me. I will just feel better mentally if I go down to MD knowing that I've given it my all to look and feel my best...

I have bumped up the meal plan cals and am aiming to stay right in that 1200 range (no starvation going on here). I know that it's early days though. At least I'm not hungry at the moment. I hope that my body's burning off all the crap from those massive holiday binges.

Joss had mentioned that it was right around day 10 that the mental block starts kicking in, and I can forsee that happening for me... In the past whenever I've 'veered' from a meal plan, it's been out of boredom or frustration, so this time I want to see that coming and try to head off any wandering.

I never seem to be able to post regularly for long, but I am always reading what you guys are writing. Anyways, didn't feel up to posting for a while, because I took a bit of a break from it all. Like, not just over the holidays, I purposely kept my weight up for the first 2 weeks of January so that I could join in on a weight loss competition. It's a 12 week competition, with money involved, and I feel like it's just short enough that I have a chance of winning, but just long enough that I can get to goal in that time. I had a hard time finding a good competition, because a lot of them were 6 months long, and I didn't want to wager money on that, when I don't have 6 months worth of weight to lose. Anyways, I'm a super frugal person, so even though I only put $25 in the pot, and will only win $125 if I have the highest weight loss percentage, it's enough to keep me motivated (at least I hope). And 2nd and 3rd get part of the pot too, so as long as I'm in the top 3 (out of 10) I'll at least recoup my money. I started on Sunday, and so far so good.

I just have found since getting to a healthy weight, my motivation has been failing me. And have found that because I never reached my goal weight, that any time I went off plan, I felt the need to fit in everything I wanted, and that lead to binge eating. I actually didn't do too bad during the holidays for weight gain, and haven't binged in a while, so that is a start! My hopes is once I get to goal, and incorporate more treats into my maintenance that I won't be getting caught in any binge eating cycles. Too bad I didn't just switch to maintenance when the diet fatigue started. If I did that, I'd be 10+ pounds lighter now.

The first few days have been a bit tough, and so I've been eating more sugar free jello and diet soda than I would like, but it's helping me stay on plan. I think once I get the first week down, it will become smoother sailing. My major road block coming up could be the monthly family potluck this Sunday, because my sister always makes like 5 different kinds of dessert! But if I can get though that, I'll feel renewed again.

Bayzee ~ *Warning - weight on the scale may be higher than reality* Hang in there!!! Extra lifting is almost certain to be the culprit. Don't let that discourage you!!!

Lockitup ~ I LOVE Supersize vs. Superskinny (Season 6 just started three weeks ago!) and that's actually what got me into Fat Fighters. I didn't think I'd like it, either, but they give pretty good nutrition and motivation advice in general. I also enjoyed Secret Eaters (I think Joss got me into that one.)

Alexistrophic - YES that's the one. . . Secret eaters. I got really into watching shows on youtube a couple months back. It really helped me with motivation. I should get back to that! I absolutely LOVE any and all weight loss or diet shows or documentaries on obesity or whatever. How tall is your Army guy!?

JessicaB - I'd LOVE a contest like that! I'm with you on once hitting a normal weight lack of motivation onsets! It gets soooo hard the closer to goal, it's just exhausting.

Ok...so I got up early yesterday and today for fasted HIIT workouts. It's my goal to keep doing this 4 days a week and keep my other 2 cardio days.
I can't possiblly drop my calories or carbs any lower. I know it would just cause a binge, so I'm trying to stay focussed with slow and steady...but I want to see more loss on the scale.
______________________________________
Lockitup...it's so easy to get discouraged and say "screw it" when the scale is the devil! LOL! I promised myself I would focus less on scale weight and more on body composition. But I didn't even take measurements or pics yet. I will not "no carb" it again. It made me feel terrible and I just gained it all back. But I am staying around 50g net carbs right now.

Alex...Thanks for the words of encouragement. I'm motivated by your plan and I hope you can pass the 10 day mark. I'm the opposite, once I get going for 10 days...I'm in and there's no looking back until I get thrown off routine by holidays or time off. How the heck did you drop 3 lbs of water?...I need to know!

Jessica B...Welcome back! I love those contests at work, but I can never do them because it's so much harder to lose when you only have tose last pounds. The winners always end up being the people who lose like 10lbs in one week! LOL! Good luck...I'm cheering for you!


Joss...I've been following a blog on bodybuilding.com. A women is cutting for a competition in March. It is pretty incredible. She posts her workouts and diet and I am so jealous that I don't have that kind of discipline. Not that I want to compete, but you can clearly see the bodyfat dropping like crazy. You are going to do so well on this program, because I can see you're taking it on as a challenge for yourself.

Turbo...I feel your pain with the exercise. I'm just starting to feel like a bit of strength is coming back. Keep on pushing

Krampus...I get so jealous that you can eat and drink and still maintain. That is an inspiration to us all!

OK, time to catch up on some personals (I know I missed a lot so forgive me if I don't do a great job).

LockItUp - First of all I'm so sorry!! I'm being a bad friend over here, but you know the story; was out of town over the weekend and then yesterday I was super busy getting things settled to begin my program today.

I love all those shows too! Secret Eaters was awesome, and I checked out the one Alex was talking about the other day, Fat Fighters. It was cute and sort of 'cheeky' which I like, and I applaud them for including a little fitness session at the end to do at home! I love any diet show with Anna Richardson, Supersize versus Superskinny, etc. Somehow I just can't get enough of the UK shows.

You know, the diet seems brutal sometimes and not at others; I look at my meals and think, "wow, that looks yummy!" because I do try to eat mostly natural and minimally processed foods and genuinely enjoy the way they taste... but its the little things that are going to make it tough; not having a diet soda when I get the odd craving, no chewing gum (although as some of you remember I went cold turkey on it for about 8-9 weeks recently and it wasn't hard at all... good time to cut it out again I suppose), no crystal light or any way to flavor up my water, no creamer or anything in my coffee (Um, what's the point?!) so I really have no 'crutches' to speak of. THATS the hard part, considering I drink a decent amount of Crystal Light.
I can have a bit of Stevia/Truvia but not an excessive amount... few packets a day.

This morning I had plain oatmeal instead of my usual sugar-free flavored variety, and added some flax seeds and egg whites... and it was good. It's not AS flavorful as my usual version with nut butters and coffee creamer and flavored oats but it was still pretty much what I already eat. In fact, I think it will be nice to get back to eating more natural foods and be able to really appreciate the flavor as it is meant to be!

BUT, today is only the first day... I imagine as time goes on my cardio will increase and some things will start being removed from my diet.

True, there isn't much that can be said to make me feel better about my weight BUT I know I did it to myself. It's no mystery that after eating like complete **** (Yeah, I literally had 3 pieces of Cheesecake Factory Cheesecake in addition to ice cream, about 10-12 sugary drinks, dinner with all the sides and appetizers over the course of Saturday night/Sunday morning. Thats disgusting.) There is nothing I can do but own up to it and work my *** off trying to fix it. I don't want to spend the next 6-12 months battling this and going back and forth with 'do I eat more, less? Cardio? blah blah blah...' forget it!

I just want to do the hard work and be done with it so I can go back to maintaining.

I'm sorry to see you've been struggling with your hunger a bit as well. At least you are good about catching it, undoing it, and carrying on! You slip and stumble but always adjust and keep going, and I love that about you (and all of us, really!)

How are you today? Back on track? Are you still sick?

Alex - Thanks for the tip on Fat Fighters! LOL I love all those UK weightloss shows! Well, most of them... I don't like that angry old blonde woman... Jillian Mc-Something? She sucks.
Anyway, I like the MEN on fat fighters and the women's personalities, but I am turned off by their super lanky bodies. Its just not what I aspire to or admire, and they seem to push that ideal that a woman has to have a 22 inch waist and be long and lean. That's a good fit for SOME of us, but people like me will never be 'long' in any way.

I had to chuckle a bit at your description of my bones; "Solid steel and grit"... Love it! haha, is that why I'm so heavy? I could have sworn it was cheesecake... haha. I hope it starts dropping soon! I was prepared for 130 ish, which is what I estimated to my trainer, but 137?! Yikes. Maybe I'll have a 3 pound drop overnight like you! Congrats!

(And yes, I'll now be a daily weight checker for this program at least)

Your 'skinny Army boy' sounds like my husband! When we met he weighed like 145 pounds - up from his joining weight of 125-ish, and I was the same weight! It was weird for me... I didn't feel sexy or feminine with him at all and initially it was a huge turn off. I wanted no part of that!
I loved his personality and his face was super cute so I just kept seeing him and it got serious fairly soon after meeting IRL (we 'met' on Eharmony). I inspired him to begin weightlifting and doing crossfit and actually EATING, and now he stays around 175-185.
My point is, BOTH of our weights change(d) and so could yours and your Army man's. Having someone around you that you enjoy is what matters most.

I hope that the 'deadline' does help you to stay on track! I am most definitely the sort who needs a reason to dig deep and keep at it... um, case in point... haha

Jessica - I like it when you do get a chance to post, so that's something! It seems that a few of us are still struggling with things and I think part of it might have something to do with post-holiday blues... hear me out; We have this huge build up to all the holidays and the festivities and it's all so cheerful BUT we also get hit with a million messages about how NOT to gain over the holidays so our guard is up. We're happy, wanting to look hot in our holiday best, enjoying extra time away from work and with our families... its a good time!
So, we make it through all the holidays relatively unscathed but then what? Now it's depressing; back to work, back to the grind, no fun holidays any time soon, the weather sucks, there's no cheerful music, and everywhere around you are now messages that you are FAT and need to work HARD to get all the holiday weight off. No wonder we all rebel a bit and put off 'getting back on track' a bit longer! Who wants to think about deprivation all the time? Regardless of what REALLY happens, thats what we are TOLD has to happen in order to get bikini ready... and somehow it's JANUARY but we have to think about that NOW.
It's a lot to handle!

Just take it a week, day, or meal at a time... whatever you have to do. You CAN make it through that potluck if you want to... just decide you want to. There is a whole series of choices you have to consciously make to eat even one bite of food, let alone 5 kinds of dessert. Good luck!

Bayzee - You KNOW you've been eating right and you've changed your workout plan to include heavier weights... don't get discouraged! You are so intelligent so you know you didn't gain fat... don't let it get to you! I've said it before; step away from the scale if you need to!

Um, no... I'm pretty sure for me it is mostly fat. I might be retaining a bit of water but not much. Prior to now I would weigh in once per week after drinking dieter's tea the night before and making sure my body was all 'emptied out', but I can't do that daily, so this weigh in was 'normal' in terms of my body; first thing in the morning after going pee, but no BM beforehand.

I'm going to start daily weight checks in the same manner, so we'll see how it progresses over the next few days, weeks and months. Steadily downward I hope!

Olehcat - How did it go last night having dinner at your friend's? You're right, it does seem like there is food and temptation EVERYWHERE when you are trying to lose a few pounds, but the reality is that it is everywhere all the time. I got really good at learning how to just ignore it but it's not always that easy. You might struggle but you have to find that line between what is an acceptable indulgence for you and what isn't. You want to enjoy your friends and life and events but at what cost? Some do better having small treats here and there, some do better with a scheduled 'treat day' etc.

Sadly, yes, it is entirely possible to gain that much 'real' weight in a few weeks... I am really a great little eater, so when I go all out I really do it big! I'm not great at moderation, though I wish I were. On a typical day 'off plan' I will eat 5,000 - 10,000 calories. Sometimes more. Consider that I have had about 14 of those days since the 20th of December... yeah.

As for Greek Yogurt, I like the Fage brand. I like their 2% Plain, as opposed to fat free... it's a few more calories but you NEED fat in your diet and it tastes a lot creamier. Much more satisfying and totally worth the 30 calorie increase.
If you need stuff in it, add yuor own fruit, sweetener and cinnamon, etc. Don't buy the crap with the sugary 'fruit' already in it. Yuck.

Turbo - Your walk of shame looks a lot better than mine! LOL I know it's all relative, but a 300 calorie bag of popcorn isn't too bad at all.
That REALLY sucks about your run though... definitely stick to flat surfaces if the hill is bothering it again.
You WILL get your cardio endurance back, you just have to work at it and be patient!
I too totally love the idea of princess day! Maybe one day I can do one too; little cups of tea and biscuits and pink sparkly things all around!

Krampus - What happened to your friend on her first day that made her come home in tears?! Pre-schoolers should be fun!
I love going shopping with my hubby too, but he doesn't get AS excited as I do about things, even at Trader Joes or Whole Foods. Fortunately he won't have to deal with that for a while! When I visit in February I'll be on this program so it's chicken, veggies and other super non-fancy stuff for me! LOL

I hate to sound like a jerk, but this is a little alarming...
Doing 4 HIIT sessions per week is really not good for your body, and doing it FASTED is even more so! You want to look lean and toned but you're going to chew up your muscle that way and end up worse off.

You are at the point where you are so low in carbs and calories that you're nearing binge territory just to see a drop on the scale? Why? Why does the scale MATTER?! I suppose I'm just getting frustrated because you are so smart and you KNOW that to look the way you claim to want to look you need to GAIN muscle.

Again, I really don't mean to be harsh, but I just don't see how your actions mirror your desires. You're probably a lot more well adjusted than I am but I got obsessed with seeing the scale lower and lower and now I've had a MASSIVE rebound. I was at 113 pounds just 4 MONTHS ago. Thats almost 25 pounds I've gained in that time because I kept trying to go lower and lower and then kept trying to keep it that low. The hunger was too much and my binges came back with a vengeance. Then I would try to undo it and would lose a pound or two and then binge again for days. CLASSIC yo yo dieting.

I'm just saying, sitting here at the lowest I have felt in years, don't let it happen to you. Don't keep striving for a stupid number on the scale that means NOTHING. Personally, I looked like **** at 113 pounds but I couldn't see it because I didn't want to.

I don't know... food for thought I suppose.

I HOPE my bodyfat drops like crazy. It's hard not to be doubtful... he has me eating a lot of calories and my workouts are so puny looking compared to what I normally do. I don't really have any faith that this is going to work for me to be honest.
I'm going to do everything he tells me to and try to trust the process, but I do feel a bit hopeless right now.

LockItUp It's actually a challenge on a website called weightlosswars.com. I don't really know enough people in real life trying to lose weight to organize a challenge myself. Most of the challenges have already started, but the one I'm in just started on Monday, so if you wanted to join in on it, you wouldn't be too far behind. It's basically the only 3 month challenge on the website, thus the only one that is a good fit for me being at a lower weight. I've never done it before, but from what I can see, you are kind of at the mercy of the person running the challenge, to trust that they will pay out. But worst case scenario, if I place in the top 3 and she doesn't pay out, at least I lost weight, and it motivated me. Aside from that, the site itself does charge $10 for each competition you join (in addition to whatever you are putting in the pot), but I was able to bypass that by completing an offer with another site. I usually hate those type of things, but my daughter needed new clothes anyways, and old navy had a sale on, and making a purchase there allowed me to bypass the $10 fee.

Bayzee That's why I made sure I picked a shorter contest. If I went for a 6 month one, for sure someone with more weight to lose would win. Most of the competitions are based on weight loss percentage, not pounds, so even if you are losing a bit slower, it can make sense (but obviously you are so close to goal as is that it wouldn't be a great fit for you). Even at my lower weights, I've always been able to lose at least close to 2 pounds a week, so long as I've been on plan. It's when I've derailed that I've had a lower loss. I guess I've been a bit lucky in that regard that if I do what I know I should, I'll lose, and I always know what I've done to gain, or not hit my weight loss goals.

Joss I know I can make it through the potluck, because I've done it before when I was starting out. I guess the difference is in the back of my mind I'm trying to calculate how often I can go off plan, and still make goal within this 12 week competition. I know the big problem is that when I indulge, I really over do it, so I might just avoid the dessert all together, it's probably easier that way. I think I really need to get through that day to prove to myself that I can do it, and renew my faith in myself.

I understand the hopeless feeling. A lot of the time I feel like there's no way I can get back to the way I looked in September, but I know that's just silly of me to think that way. I've done it before and I can do it again, and we all know you will too. I'm sure if his methods aren't getting you results, he'll tweak them along the way.

Another day at 125.8 - DUH body, you aren't going to lose weight if you keep feasting on desserts and drinking wine every night and don't burn enough calories to offset it!

For some reason I woke up today feeling all "wahhh" - bloated from ice cream (2-3 "servings" probably), it's snowing again, my boyfriend cleaned my car and changed my wiper fluid while I was pooping (2 out of 5 stars, not enough!) and I irrationally felt annoyed that I didn't get to do it myself (but obviously thanked him profusely for his help - he did all that in a suit), then I went home and took a self-timer photo to cheer myself up and realized I look bloated. Grossssssssssssssssssssssssssss.

At least I have a super healthy and low carb lunch packed - plain 2% Fage Greek yogurt, big veggie salad with tuna and gorgonzola cheese, protein shake, and two hard boiled eggs. Sighhh. Winter is tough - some of these days I feel as though all I have to look forward to is wine and dessert! To try and shake myself out of this funk I am making plans with friends to go sledding outside tonight. Spring, summer and fall are all associated with "doing activities outdoors" - I want to make that a winter possibility, too.

Bayzee I eat and drink and maintain a higher weight than I want - though I realize it's pretty stupid to get hung up on being one pound over "acceptable" and numbers are arbitrary. Have you noticed any changes visibly that may not be reflected on the scale? Are you increasing lifts?

JessicaB Glad to see you're back! I seriously think the HARDEST part about weight loss and maintenance is knowing when to scale back, when to try maintenance calories to ward off diet fatigue, and being able to judge how strict is too strict. Everyone has delicate individual balances that no one else can define for them. It's a lifelong struggle - but being at a healthy weight and active, you are doing better than many! I hope you win the competition at work!

Alexistrophic OoOooOOooO army guy! I know envy is a dumb emotion but I am INSANELY jealous of those guys who would probably give anything to be able to build mass and gain weight. I would have a field day with it...and not get tired of eating lots, ever. 1200 is a good starter level - the original plan seriously looked like, 750 calories in a day.

LockItUp Down is still down! I know when I've had problems with diet fatigue culminating in binges, I really have to force myself to eat a minimum number of calories - but I think it helps, going back to "regular" instead of "cutting further" can keep a future binge at bay. Why isn't this just EASY?! I hope your symptoms disappear quickly and you feel like yourself again soon...

olehcat Oh gosh, it's nice to see most people survive their first few hard teaching days. She had a better day yesterday and I am hoping it works out for her. Well done on dropping weight - the pizza and Chinese takeout is ALWAYS there if you decide losing weight and eating healthy food sucks :P

JossFit Pfff you know at least 5-10 of that extra poundage is cheesecake and alcohol water retention. :P That new plan sounds absolutely brutal - like RFL calories x three or four? I hope your bestie's deployment will go quickly and safely and your reunion will be a happy one with both of you in the best shape of your lives. Maintaining IS exhausting, even at not-very-lean levels...the constant consciousness and vigilance wears on us, and we live in a society that touts granola bars as healthy snacks and pats people on their heads for going for a walk once a week. It's HARD but you will swing back!

TurboMammoth I'm so sorry you had such a bad time running yesterday - are you snowed in now like we are? Yeah she said the kids were being jerks and testing her - they're like 4 and 5 years old so they probably haven't learned how to be REALLY cruel yet.