Good Morning feathers!
It's so nice to come back to work on a Tuesday. Only a 4 day week. So I am proud that I didn't go too crazy this weekend. I was very worried with the 3 day weekend and the Holiday, that I would drink way too much and binge eat way too much. I didn't drink much, only had one bad thing to eat (small cheeseburger) and everything else I ate over the weekend was healthy. Problem is, I ate
a lot of food and had zero exercise. Laid around most of the weekend. I am hoping I maintained and didn't gain. I think my calories were around 2000 on all weekend starting Friday through yesterday. I am not weighing in till next Monday because I am due to get my period this week and don't want to freak if there is a water gain!
Petty story alert: But hopefully some can relate. It's small but sometimes they hit the hardest..
I am feeling very down latley about this. I am still just so upset with myself to have gained back a solid 7 or so pound of fat. And it is noticeable. I am sick of being called a "thick" girl. I wanted to cry yesterday. I was over at a friends house and this girl who is very small and I were talking with other friends (3 other guys) about our height. I said I was about 5'5-5'6. That I didn't really know. Of course she was drunk and got mouthy and said No way! I am 5'4.75, theres no way you're taller. So she asked me stand up and see. I refused because I know how these guys are. I KNEW if I did, SOMEONE would comment on the size difference. NO not height difference, weight difference. And low and behold they did. We stood side by side and they said she looked taller. And then someone goes, yea she looks taller than her. And another guy goes yea because shes (me) a lot wider. And everyone started laughing. This hurt for multiple reasons. One, that is EXACTLY why I didnt want to do it but she was SO persistent, two, I obviously feel very down and self concious right now ever since the weight gain, and lastly I hate it because just a few months ago I was smaller and looking good and I missed that. After the comment was made my boyfriend said in front of everyone "its ok babe, I like the way you are. I like your shape". I know he was being sweet but it made me feel like I have some disease. Like, its ok I accept your big body. I dont know. I know I am being oversly sensitive but it was just the icing on the cake. I am just sad that no matter what I will always be seen as a "thick" girl. I can't stand that. Im sorry. Petty story/vent over.
I realize my goal of 125.8 by August 10th is not going to happen. So I have decided to settle for 128 by then by eating 1300 calories 6 days out of the week (maintenance at the 7th) and exercising at least 5 days a week. I hope that brings me to goal.
Ann I go through sugar phases too where I just can't seem to get enough. I've noticed it around my period as well. Also, when I drink or eat something bad I tend to crave more and more. A downward spiral. Staying on track really is important for sugar cravings.
Mortonpixie I am SO jealous of that bike. I love biking. I wish I had more drive and energy to do activities throughout the week that burned more calories. Oh man, if I could burn 700 calories a day in exercise. That would be amazing. I am excited for you!
Krampus I feel ya on the lack of exercise. But CONGRATS on the two week binge-free !! I know you were having troubel with that for awhile. And you are at 130? That's awesome. Ounces away from the 120's!
Dorian 125?! Omg that is amazing girl!! OH, that was my goal originally for August 10th. Wish it was still possible
Hope everyone had a wonderful 4th of July!!!