Overate in bread again. I feel like a loser. Work starts Monday...its still shaky because...its not a job I feel comfortable in in the first place but I needed to say yes to something...esp after paying rent. Please dont let it be like my last job. Still waiting to hear back from another interview...but it might be a temp to perm and I can't risk not having benefits. Its semi-up in the air and I feel pressure to feel happy that something will start on Monday, but to be honest I only feel anxiety and a lot of self-anger about my eating. Well work will help with the IFing at least. I hope.

Where did the weekend go?

I drank a fair amount of alcohol this weekend but ate well. I didn't weigh-in this morning because TOM is due anytime and I feel it...completely bloated. In fact, I'm going to try NOT to weigh myself till Friday this week. There's no point, I'll just be discouraged.

I went bathing suit shopping yesterday...not fun! I'm still NOT happy with my belly. It's not as flat as it was before I gained 10lbs and I really noticed it when I was shopping yesterday. I did buy a couple of new bikinis but also bought 2 tankinis because I felt they hid the belly. I honestly think all of the weight I've lost came off my boobs! I've been feeling it in my bras and certainly noticed it in a bathing suit...that totally sucks! OH...and how come bathing are so expensive? There's virtually no material to them! LOL! Same with lingerie. LOL!




Sorry, but with so many posts this weekend, I won't have time for personals. But I really enjoy reading about everyone's progress, so keep posting!

WAY overdid it last night on junk food that wasn't even worth it... Bad popcorn, marshmallows, cookies that were just "ok" and more... It definitely felt bingey and wasn't caused my true hunger. Thankfully I don't feel as bloated and awful as I expected this morning. It's a new day and a fresh start. I'm going shopping with my mom this afternoon, then making the 3 hour drive back home. After 3 days out of town I am SO ready to get back into my routine and to the gym in the morning.

I will catch up with everyone when I have access to my laptop back at home. Happy Sunday!

Good morning ladies! I was up early this morning determined to make it to church, despite the snow storm that is currently underway here in MN. I was a couple blocks from my house and after watching two cars slide all over the place, I said screw this I'm going back home and getting cozy on the couch! I am down .8 this morning. I have been getting my workouts in and doing well with staying with in my calories overall. Now just to keep this up all month!!!

*****
JossFit So wonderful the pants and dress fit! I have such a hard time shopping online, I'm on of those people who has to try everything on. I never know how anything is going to fit even if I've shopped at a store before and have an idea of my size there. Depending on the material, stretch/lack of stretch, cut, and so on the item may or may not fit. It has to be a nice relief knowing ahead of time that your hubby plans to take it easy over the holiday.

pixelllate Strenght to you . It sounds like you have a lot going on. I was laid off from work a year ago this past October, it utterly sucks not knowing when you'll find a job that pays decent and has a good work environment. I actually never found full time employement but fortunately knew that I was planning to go back to school this fall and thankfully was accepted to the program which I applied. Good luck to you in your search and your food struggles.

OhThePlaces This will get back on track once you are able to get home and back into routine. Sorry the junk wasn't even good stuff. I hate when that happens.

domlacha : Stay safe at home in this snowstorm! Good job on the lost weight!

Joss : Okay, your meal looks DELISH. I loooooooove meatballs! That remembers me I haven't cooked some in forevaaaaa.

Pixellate : Sad to hear you're still struggeling with the food, but with the new job starting, maybe that will take out your mind off it? Sending the best vibes your way

Bayzee : Awww bathing suit shopping. Dreadful times.

Ohtheplaces : Have fun shopping and have a safe ride home!

***

Yooo.

Up to 137.2 this morning, but I really need to poop real bad. I went to me pregnant cousin's place last night, my brother was in town, so we had a crazy/weird dinner with cousin's and the kids of one of them. People not making it there being hangover (my boyfriend, I was a proud girlfriend...), people leaving in the middle of dinner feeling sick, major milk spilling, Christmas parade with hot firefighters handing gifts to kids... We had a fun times.

I ate a bit too much though, especially on the Party Mix chips things, this salt probably helping to bring me at 137's this morning.

... I also baked brownies (like usually I always say that there is something that could be improved about baking this recipe of that one, but my brownies are freaking AWESOME) with a salted caramel... I brought the biggest part at my cousin's place but we still got some at home, hanging in the kitchen. It's quite hard not giving in honestly.

Nothing much planned today, working on the thesis, not eating brownies, watching holidays movies... Have a great day feathers!!

Happy Sunday, everyone!

So, one of my big goals for the next month while I'm on vacation is to try and be much more chill about my weight/size and therefore my eating. I obviously put too much emphasis on it when it's not all that necessary. I'm going to stay off the scale and not worry about it, unless I start obviously not fitting into my clothes anymore, haha.

These are some thoughts I've been having:

-It's not a race. Yes, I'd like to weigh under 110 pounds again, but I don't really have to get there as quickly as possible. It's not like reaching the goal is the end-all-be-all anyway; I'll gain weight in the future likely (I mean, when I get pregnant, obviously it's definitely going to happen), and I know I can lose weight again. No big deal. Plus there's always maintenance. It doesn't just stop. So if I lose/maintain/gain weight these next weeks, whatever- it's like a month out of the rest of my life! I've got plenty of time to work on it later.

-It's also no hurry because, honestly, my quality of life is not going to be all that different at 105 pounds than at 120 pounds. The only time it's going to make a difference is the 30 seconds or so I get on a scale, maybe when I buy jeans and have to get a size 2 instead of a 00, or when I'm doing things I don't really need to do like body-checking and comparing myself to those around me. 90% of the time, it won't make a difference. Certainly I won't care the third of the day I'm asleep. It won't make me smarter or get better marks at school, won't change how much money is in my bank account, won't affect how my husband sees me or how much he loves me, won't make food taste better, won't make doing fun things or hanging out with friends more enjoyable.

My goal is to really just try and be mindful when eating, eat what I really want, and not eat so much that it will detract from enjoying whatever I do afterward. I'm also going to try and keep up with exercising, at the least a few days of heavy lifting a week, but even that I'm not going to stress overmuch about. Right now I'm really more concerned with improving my mindset than maybe having to put in a little extra effort when I get back to rebuild muscle tone. That's not really an issue.


Just kinda wanted to write all that down!

Now I've got to study for my last final exam tomorrow...

Hi Feathers, a quick drive-by update, had a fun weekend, NO HANGOVERS which was nice. Saturday we made a snap last-minute decision to drive to NYC to see the Rockefeller Center Christmas tree since my roommate has never seen it, and eat at a Japanese buffet - I F-ING LOVE BUFFETS OH MY GOSH, my boyfriend had at least 5 full plates of food plus a bunch of dessert and the sushi/dumplings course(s), and the rest of us weren't far behind. Going to NYC stresses me out because I have so many different groups of friends there and I feel like a bad friend not contacting them to meet up!

Somehow my weight wasn't up too much today and I got to the gym and then spent the day at my parents' putting up their Christmas tree since the parts are too heavy for my mom to lift (they're probably honestly only 40 lb or less). We went out to dinner, I contained myself, and I got a bunch of Christmas shopping done. Bam!



Personals tomorrow!

Good morning Feathers! Despite eating a lot of junk on Saturday, the scale showed a loss this morning. Down to 132.4. I was a chunky kid and a fat teenager, so I'm excited to be getting so close to the 120s, a weight I haven't seen since probably 6th grade!

Pixelllate - I'm hoping that your first day of work goes better than you're expecting today.

Bayzee - Sorry to hear about the shopping frustrations. Bathing suit shopping is my nightmare. I had two babies in 21 months, and to add insult to injury I have poor skin elasticity. SO until I can afford a tummy tuck to get rid of the loose skin hanging off of my lower belly, bikinis are not in my future. We're going on a cruise in February, so I'll have to deal with it soon enough.

Domlacha - It sounds like turning around was a wise choice... you don't want to take chances with driving consitions being so scary. WTG on the weightloss... you're doing great!

JossFit - Woohoo on the online order fitting so well! I also ordered jeans from Express, but I'm keeping the tags on them and waiting because in 5 more lbs I'm afraid the 6s will be way too big... definitely better than too small.

Turbo - Hot firefighters handing out gifts? Sounds like a great time to me! Sorry about the scale being up, but I'm sure it's temporary from the salt... Those brownies sound divine!

Mottainai - It sounds like you have realized some of the same things that I've been thinking about lately. When you put it all into perspective, it seems silly to obsess. I'm reminding myself a lot lately that it is not a race and I should take my time and enjoy my healthier lifestyle changes without being neurotic about the number on the scale. I'm the MOH in a wedding in early January, so I do feel like I have a deadline, but the dress already fits, so I'm trying not to beat myself up if I have an off-day. So far it's working. It sounds like you're getting to a healthier place mentally. Good luck with your exam today!

Krampus - Buffets are the best! My husband and I have a tradition of eating our Christmas Eve dinner at a Chinese buffet... this will be the third year and it's perfect! The tree looks great!

Alright ladies, I'm off to eat my oatmeal, then heading to the gym. Have a great day!

125.2 today and yesterday. I'm amazed that the huge buffet feast had such negligible impact on the scale!

BF's dad is in the hospital with possible hepatic encephalopathy due to abuse of pain meds for years, smoking, poor diet resulting in diabetes/heart problems, basically all this preventable stuff...I hope he'll be OK.

OhThePlaces WOO on a loss. You are getting there! Junk or no junk. Chinese buffet Xmas Eve sounds amazing.

mottainai A healthy and sensible mindset is IMO the most important tool for healthy weight maintenance. Good luck on your final exam and I hope your trip will be amazing! That's soon isn't it?

TurboMammoth That dinner sounds like a train wreck, not gonna lie. I could not bake brownies without eating them - ever!

Bayzee Ah...if only we could pick and choose where weight falls off and gets put on. I'd happily move my stomach fat into my chest.

Domlacha I forget that it snows places...NY had a snowless winter last year and hasn't had any yet. It must look really seasonal and pretty there!

pixellate Hugs.

JossFit Those turkey meatballs look really good. Even if the scale doesn't tell you what you want it to, keep the tiny pants in the forefront and remind yourself that you still look GOOD!

Joss ~ Hurray for the clothes fitting!!! That is the best reward/motivation ever! And your food looks delish, as usual. Sounds like a great thing that hubby doesn't feel like drinking over Christmas.

Ohtheplaces ~ Sounds like the family time was worth it, no? How'd the shopping go? Gah! for that "not even worth it" eating... Been there, done that, bought the tee shirt, wear it often. New day new week! (And I think that Chinese buffet on Christmas eve sounds good, too!)

Krampus ~ SO COOL about seeing the Rockafeller tree!!!! (Isn't that a long drive, though?) Hurray for those impromptu trips. And your parents tree looks fantastic, too. Go you for getting all that Christmas shopping done, too.

Turbo ~ Salted caramel brownies... yummmmmmy.... What are your top Christmas movies?

Dom ~ Sheesh! With all that snow, it's no wonder you had to turn around. Jesus understands. He'd prefer you safe and your car uncrashed, I'm sure. Do you meet with church peeps at other times during the week?

Mottainai ~ What a cool story about how you and your husband met! My mom met my dad when came over from Korea as a foreign exchange student and stayed in her house. I co-sign everything Joss said and hope that you can use this time a motivation to focus more on taking care of yourself and enjoying the time that you spend with your husband. That sounds like a great goal to just "be more chill". If you're 5'6, a weight of 113 puts your bmi at 18.2... Even 120 is only a bmi of 19. Isn't 110 underweight for your height? Forgive me if this is out of line, but would you want to lose much past that? (And as someone who has had longstanding food/weight/disordered eating issues, I can understand how this is a complicated issue.)

Pixellate ~ Congrats on the new position. Feeling some anxiety about not having a "permanent" position (and benefits, etc) is completely normal, but if you can, try to enjoy the work that you're doing now. Be kind to yourself!

Apologies if I left anyone out!!!

Rolling back in here after an... interesting weekend.
Made it out to the wine tasting and I actually think that helped me feel better, strangely... We took a tour of the grounds, then sampled four different varieties and there was a spiced holiday wine that one woman mentioned her father used to give her whenever she got sick... Wished that I had bought some of that, but it was super sweet and I could just see myself going through it way too fast.

Watched the movie Ravenous (Guy Pierce, Jeffrey Jones, Robert Carlyle) with my friend. It's a dark comedy set in northern CA after the Mexican American war about cannibals. (Mmmmm.... lol - Low carb! *shudder*) It was creepily fantastic and my friend and I are huge Carlyle fans so good times for a Saturday night.

Sunday was a recuperation day. Had made tentative plans to see that "on the fence" guy after church, but ended up cancelling when I woke up feeling like crap. Kinda sad that I bailed, but I do feel more rested today, so I suppose that's the upside.

Food has been all over the place and I'm up a few from the weight in my sig, I'm sure. Haven't officially weighed in this morning yet... Church Christmas party on Friday and have ordered some dress options for that, but got 'em a bit bigger to hopefully have some room to breathe. Fingers crossed.

New day, new week.

~Ax

Mottaini : Hope your exam was smooth and easy! which much means.. school's out for you!??!!! YAAY!

krampus : Your parents Christmas tree is so cute. And the Christmas tree in NYC.. AWWW. I went to NYC for the first time 2 years ago with the bf at the beginning of December because I was ESPECIALLY requesting to see the Rockefeller Tree. I think it is still one of the best day of my life LOL

Hope your bf's dad is gonna be okay :S

Ohtheplaces : You are sooo close from the 120s!!! You must be so excited

Alexis : Are you feeling a bit better today?? Sending best vibes your way for that! Your wine tasting trip sounds so fun! The Ravenous movie sounds awesome, I'll try to find it!

Top Christmas movie... That is a GOOD question! I loooooove Love Actually and the classics like Home Alone 1 & 2 (the second is my favorite though). We also always watch Nightmare Before Christmas and National Lampoon Christmas Vacation... I love the Christmas Carol movie too, new or old versions... There is probably more that I don't remember right now

***

Stiiiiiiiiiiiiiill 137.2 this morning even if I pooped twice yesterday. Im planning to drink tons of water today to get rid of the water weight. I also decided that I'm NOT TOUCHING brownies anymore. I'll let the boyfriend clean the plate (looking for will-power here, anyone is selling some!?)

Good morning Feathers!!! Well I'm down to 147.4 this morning, I am almost down to the low I say this summer of 146.8. My lowest weight as an adult was 145, and my lowest weight post puberty was 137. I biked that whole summer and dropped about 10 pounds or so. I gained it all back plus so much more during that school year, I think I was 170 by that May. I am not really sure why that weight is dropping off so quickly (I'm not complaining) but I am usually more of a slow and steady kind of person, I like it that way more guarantee it'll stay off. I do think part of it is that I have been a pooping machine! Usually I am regularly backed up no matter how much water I drink or how much fiber I consume, usually only having a bm every couple of days and struggling at that. But I have been going quite regularly these past 5 days or so, maybe its just poop weight .

*******
Alexistrophic I am really glad I turned around, it started snow in the wee hours of the morning and didn't stop until late last night. I sometimes see people from church during non church times but not often. I no longer live in the city where I go to church. I have been there since I was a kid and moved away. My pastor and her husband actually live really close to me, every now and then we have dinner.

The wine tasting sounds awesome, I am a wino all day long, its definitely my beverage of choice. But I don't drink very often I don't handle alcohol well anymore. I hope you continue to feel better.

Krampus Your parents tree looks really nice, I still haven't but mine up yet! Buffets are amazing! I have such a hard time controlling myself. Way to go with the now hangover, I get a hangover now from like one drink . The snow looks great, however it sucks to get around in. We went from no snow to like 10 inches in a day! I'm glad I have the day off from stuff not to have to deal with getting around. However, I did want to get to the gym and do some lifting, we shall see...

OhThePlaces Great job on the drop in weight . Sounds like you didn't do as poorly as you thought! Thanks for the encouragement. I'm probably really going to need it next week when my TOM comes!

Mottainai I bet it will help to have a relaxed and calm trip if you are not thinking too much about your weight and dieting. You have done an amazing job in weightloss and its ok to relax a little while on vacation. Get some workouts in and just have a good time!

Turbo Sounds like you had quite the weekend! Mmmm brownies!!!! I am thinking of baking some cookies for my neighbors because everyone has been so great with helping me shovel and plow my driveway and sidewalk after the 10 inches of snow we received yesterday.

The weight is a work in progress, at least its not a huge gain, and you were able to have a good time!

Have a great day everyone!!!

Whoo, I have some catching up to do! I was a bit busy this weekend and didn't get around to posting.

Let's see...

Well I decided to go ahead and check my weight on Saturday, even though I had initially planned on waiting until 22 December. Yikes. I was up to 120.8 pounds. The last time I weighed was right before Thanksgiving, and was 118.8 pounds, so even after a full 2 weeks or so back on plan and working hard I was still 2 pounds heavier?! I thought it was a fluke!

So, I checked again on Sunday... up to 121.6 pounds. Great! LOL so I guess I did a lot more damage than I thought over Thanksgiving. No big deal. It is what it is and bemoaning some silly number won't change it. What WILL change it is continuing to eat right, workout, and be patient. I'll hope for a whoosh this week or next but I'm not going to stress over it. If nothing else, knowing that I'm a bit higher than I would like just solidifies my motivation and dedication, and should help me to stay on plan a bit better when I go visit my husband for the holidays. There isn't much wiggle room there anymore, and I don't want to get to a point where I suddenly feel like I don't recognize my body!

For now though I'm not stressing it. I would still like to lose a bit of fat and I'm going to keep working on it, but I'm not going to stress myself out or worse, figure it's all for naught and 'start over' after the holidays like so many do. Nope... the plan is to stick to the plan and hopefully see the one-teens again soon.

I finally got my Christmas cards that I ordered, so I got a bunch of those addressed and out in the mail today which pretty much takes care of my holiday to-do list.

Today I went and visited a bunch of Kindergarteners and helped them make Christmas cards to send to deployed military members. It was cute, but it just reaffirms that kids are NOT for me... hahaha. I can handle them in small doses but more than an hour is too much for me.

Oh, and my roommate and I took her daughter to see Rise of the Guardians yesterday and it was SUCH a good movie! I definitely recommend it even if you don't have kids. It was actually really funny and has a lot of big name actors doing the voices of the characters. Seriously... super cute. I'm wicked excited to go see The Hobbit with my husband too. It comes out this coming weekend but I'm going to wait another week or so and we'll so see it after Christmas.

I just looked to see if I could change my plane tickets for Christmas and leave a few days earlier... HOLY CRAP ticket prices! My husband already spent $600+ on them, and it would be another $150 to change it PLUS like another $700 for the increase in prices! Rediculous!

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Domlacha - Incredible shrinking woman alert! Nice job on the loss AND on talking about poop! hahaha I think with your first poop talk you officially become one of us.

Normally I would agree with you and never order clothing online, but I got such a great deal on the dress (It was seriously on clearance for like $27!) and I have several pair of the jeans already that I decided to chance it. The jeans I own are all size 4 and too big, so I decided to go with a size 2. Honestly the 4's were too big when I bought them but I just get so scared of buying something that REALLY fits and then it being too small later on because I gained weight! I can see now that even gaining like 8 pounds over the past few months hasn't made the 4's fit like they should so I should stop being so scared and just buy the right dang size! haha

Turbo - We share some of the same favorite Christmas movies! National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation is a MUST WATCH for me each year, but I also love Home Alone and Elf is in the top 5 as well.

I have to agree that those brownie sound divine. I haven't had any Christmas goodies yet, as I've been back OP since I got home from Thanksgiving in Colorado. I've been working so hard to trim down what I gained (and as we can all see by the scale I gained quite a bit!) and I don't think I could turn down those brownies sitting in my house!

In fact, yesterday I got the beginning inklings of the baking bug and wanted to whip up some holiday treats but I decided against it. In fact, I probably won't get a chance to do any baking this year. I don't get out to Colorado until the night of the 23rd and by then it will be too late to try to get to the store and whip something up to bring with me for the party on the 24th. It's probably better if I don't because then I would eat it all... thats what I did last year with my peppermint bark, chocolate pretzels and white chocolate gingersnaps... Ooops!

Anyway, I hope drinking a bunch of water helps you out! I tried doing that on Saturday thinking I was retaining water and I was rewarded with another .8 pounds on the scale the next day even though I pooped my brains out beforehand! WTF?? LOL

Alexis - I was super excited that the pants fit. I wasn't really worried about the dress but the pants, definitely. I didn't want to take them off! haha
It is nice that the hubby doesn't feel like going bat-$hit with the alcohol, not only because it might help me drink (and eat) less but because then I won't have to babysit! Last year I swear it took me 2 hours to get him out of the party and off to bed and then he was hungover all day on Christmas. Not fun.

You did have an interesting, and BUSY weekend... sounds like you had a lot of fun! I've never done a wine tasting but I would love to one day. There is a wine bar around here that does them but I think I would rather do one at an actual winery where the scenery is beautiful too. I'm sure there are some places I could try it out in Colorado. (Reason number 1 million why I'm excited to move there!!)

I'm glad that you're feeling better and that the scale is somewhat forgiving. If not and you get a shock like I did just don't stress it! You don't seem like you ever really do, which is so refreshing. I'm learning to let these things go. In fact, I'm actually GLAD that I'm not still the 113 pounds I was in September. I don't necessarily want to be nearly 122, but I can certainly see now that I was TOO lean then. I'm okay being a little softer for right now.

Krampus - Oh yeah lady, no worries... I'm rockin my tiny pants. I'll have to make sure I wear them soon and get some pictures so I can show them off. Vanity sizing or not is irrelevant... they look GOOD and it's because I have some booty again! hahaha

I sure hope your BFs dad is okay. It's not like there is ever a 'good' time for something like that but it has to be particularly difficult over the holidays.

Your parents tree is so cute! Have you put one up at your place? My roommate has one up (OMG it's HUGE) so at least there is one at the house. *My* tree is at my husband's place though, so I can't enjoy it until I get back out there.

I would love to see NYC and Rockerfeller square all lit up for Christmas... I bet it's beautiful!

OhThePlaces - Isn't it a nice surprise thinking that the scale will be up and it ends up being down? That never happens to me, but I can imagine it is! hahaha

Thats also very exciting about how close you are to the 120's and your goal weight. I think we all get so caught up in getting to GW that we don't enjoy the little stops along the way... so enjoy it!

Size from Express can be really weird, so you never know what you're going to get.

I can relate about eating things that arent' really 'worth it'. Honestly, few things are! I think we tend to romaticize food so much that unless it's REALLY amazing it hardly lives up to what we daydream about when we aren't having it.

Mottainai - It does seem like a disproportionate amount of your time is spent thinking about your weight and food issues, and that's certainly not where you want to be going into a vacation. I know it's easier said than done, but I really do hope you're able to relax those thoughts a bit and enjoy yourself. Your goals about eating more mindfully, slowing down and not trying to rush to some (arbitrary) scale weight sound fantastic, but I hope I don't come off as harsh when I say that you seem to have a new plan/revelation/outlook every few days and it looks as though you are really obsessing over it. Even the idea of NOT obsessing over it seems to be consuming you, which is sort of an oxymoron in itself.

It might be time to just step out of it completely and let your body decide when it's time to eat, when it's time to stop, and just let it do what it's going to do.

I also might be seeing this in just one dimension because, after all, this is a forum about health and weight so this IS the place to talk about these things.

Bayzee - I don't know a woman on the planet who enjoys bathing suit shopping. Even at my tiniest/fittest I still didn't really enjoy it, but more thought "this isn't too bad..." We are so hard on ourselves! At 115 pounds now you can't have too much to fret over, but I know that can be hard to see when we're the one standing under the harsh dressing room lights. I'm sure you look FANTASTIC.

Pixelllate - Well today is Monday, which means you started your new job today! I really hope that whatever fears you had this weekend have been asuaged a bit and that you like the folks you're going to be working with. I'm sure the new position is going to take some adjusting to but even if it is only temporary I wish you luck!

Let us know how it's going!

OK, my last post before leaving for Japan, yay!

I have one more final exam this afternoon, and it's gonna be a doozy (online class, which is bad bad bad for people like me who don't study, haha), but it's also not a class I even need and I don't really mind what my trasncript or GPA looks like, so whatever!

Weight is 115.7 this morning, so up a few pounds, OBVIOUSLY after the craziness a few days ago, but that's not so bad, and at least a little of it should be muscle, right? (;

I'm so excited about vacay....these last few days have been HARD waiting. We're going to stay up tonight, leave early early morning for the airport, take off Tuesday morning, fly 15 hours, and arrive Wednesday evening in Japan.

I'm bringing my laptop, but not sure if I'll be using it much or getting on here as often. Just so as nobody wonders if something happened to me, lol.

Wishing everyone else happy holidays!!! (:

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Jossfit- Hah, nope, you're right on, I'm just a "planner." I love making plans and goals...you should see my journals from when I was like 11 years old, making out "self improvement plans" and going through toy catalogs making lists of what I want to buy and planning clubs and businesses. That's a whole other issue, lol. You guys just get to see all my obsessiveness about weight/health/fitness here because it's become my go-to place where I feel comfortable and enjoy putting down all my many many thoughts and ideas. ANYWAY great job not stressing about the little bit of extra weight. I can't believe you don't like kids, haha. No plans to have any ever? I grew up helping with and organizing all kinds of kids' science camps and church camps, babysitting, working and volunteering at schools. I really hope you enjoy your holiday with your husband! (:

Domlacha- Thanks for your encouragement! It sounds like you're really doing fantastic!! I know how awesome it feels to be close to your lowest weight. (: Keep up the good work, and keep up being a "pooping machine," nothing wrong with that, haha. xD

Turbo- Yep, school's "out" and just have one more exam in a couple hours! I don't have any willpower for sale, but I have been doing lots of reading lately about remembering that you've ALWAYS got CHOICES about whether to do or not do something...can't choose the consequences, but you can totally decide whether to eat the brownie or not. (;

Alexis- Yeah, I love telling the story about my husband, lol. It's cool your parents made an international match too! I actually had no idea what my BMI would be. I'm really just kinda going by my body and my health and previous experience. Before I developed any issues with binge eating or dieting I was always quite thin but healthy and a big appetite (my nickname was "Big Mack," teasingly, becuase my last name was Mackiewicz and I ate so much but was still skinny, lol). At this height, I only had a problem when I got sick and lost weight to under 100 pounds, and then I stopped getting my periods /: But once I gained back above that I was fine...so I just feel like personally this is a comfortable range for me. But again, like I've been saying, I know I ought to be completely fine with being more than that, no problem! That's what I'm working on. Just because I used to be that thin doesn't mean I need to be again, necessarily! Anywayyy your wine tasting sounds fun! I've always wanted to try it, even though I don't actually like wine all that much. Where do you order your dresses from? Hope you enjoy your holiday activities!! (:

Krampus- Thanks for the luck wishes. Yep, heading out for Japan in a matter of hours!!! So freaking excited. I can't wait to share my experiences with you, since you've been there as well. Buffets are so dangerous for me. There's a ferry that goes from Vancouver mainland to Vancouver Island, and they've got a buffet dinner you can get. It's like $50, but it's real high quality food, and especially the DESSERTS, my goodness, lol. My husband wants to take me to one ayce shabushabu place, Mo-para, do you know it? I'm determined to work on using my power of choice and higher brain thinking and NOT eat to the point of discomfort while we're away. That's just not going to help me enjoy vacation! Praying that your BF's father is all right!


OhThePlaces- That's great you're working on the mindset thing as well! We can do it! Weddings can bring out a little of that stress, so I think you're doing great to not obsess over it too much if the dress fits fine now. (: I hope you keep up your good work!

Pixellate- Please please don't feel too bad about yourself if you overate! It's no reflection on you as a person, and you're definitely not a loser. (: It sounds like such a hard situation with your job. I really hope that things will work out OK there. Keep us updated!

Bayzee- The weight always comes off where we don't want it first, doesn't it? lol. For me, the belly is fine, but my thighs, I'll admit, that's the place I've always most wanted to work on and also the place that gets smaller last. Tankinis are awesome, though, by the way. Oh, and they ARE expensive, aren't they?? I actually thought about getting a new suit before my trip, but when I saw the prices, I was like, no way, lol. Best of luck to you with everything!

EVERYONE ELSE- Thinking about y'all, and sending well wishes. (;

Turbo ~ Thanks for the well wishes! I am feeling a bit better today, but still have a ways to go to get back to full health. Bleh! Hopefully this will be my one "sick episode" for the season. I've never seen all of Love Actually, but have heard good things. Home Alone is a classic, too.

Domlacha ~ When I drink (which is almost never), I'm a "Wino all the way", as well. Re: losing - Slow and steady is definitely the way to go. What's the forecast like for your area? White Christmas for you?
Joss ~ Props to you for volunteering with the kids. Even if you don't want 'em, I feel like it just makes you a better person. If nothing else, it reminds you of the importance of patience and makes you that much more grateful for where you are in life...
Plane fares are re-DIC-ulous this time of year. That's most of the reason we're driving down to Nashville rather than flying.

Mottainai ~ When I do alcohol, it's usually wine, but I'm not a big drinker at all. It was more of a group activity and I loved spending time with the women in the group. It was also neat to hear the history of the winery (oldest in the US) and I felt sort of proud that it was so close to us. I ordered the dresses from le Target (not one was more than $20!) and they're supposed to arrive on Friday, but since the Christmas party is on Friday, too, there may be a few sent back. It'd be good to have the options anyway.

Bon voyage and happy trails!

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Made my own "mulled [drink]" last night with no sugar added cranberry juice, oranges, cinnamon, ginger, mulling spice, cloves, and cardamom. Heated it in a pan and it was like Christmas on the stove. We have a holiday get-together on Wednesday and I might try to cookie up tonight. Am planning on bringing cream cheese stuffed celery and hopefully cookies, if they turn out OK. Might try to address and send some cards, too. I love doing the card while the cookies are baking so that they end up with a little bit of the "cookie smell" on 'em too.

Just talked to my boss and have officially requested off on the Wed and Thur after Christmas, so we are a go on our Nashville trip to visit my lil' sis. I talked to her yesterday and she suggested cooking at her place, and also mentioned that she has a craving for duck a l'orange. She's a chef by trade, and good at what she does, but I don't want her to feel any kind of pressure. I'll try to do some cooking before we leave, too, so that we have food ready to go.

We're going down on Saturday (12/22) and coming back up on Wednesday (12/26). And thanks to all the buffet talk on here, we're also planning a Chinese buffet for Christmas eve although I'm kinda looking forward to that.