I think I was working on my post so long that Alexis and Turbo both posted in the meantime... didn't mean to leave you ladies out!

Turbo - Amazon CAN be freakishly fast, depending on who the distributor is. Sometimes I order something and it's on my doorstep almost immediately while other times I order something and it takes forever!

I would probably eat the whole months' worth of chocolate if I had one of those advent calendars, but I've always loved them. I'd like to find a really nice wooden one or something that I can put my own little treats into. I've seen them around but never purchased one. Maybe next year?

My 11th day was okay, but the cravings were strong yesterday for sure. Today would be the 12th, and so far it's about the same. I'll be fine because I REFUSE to give in. Now that I see that there is a pattern I have a bit more confidence and I think if I just continue to hold tight and ride it out I will make it through until my PLANNED holiday meals. I just ran to the drugstore to pick up some wrapping paper and ribbon, and there was SOOOO much candy and junk there! Drug stores specifically carry those small snack-sized items too, so it would be so easy to give in. I made it though! hahaha

I'm sorry you seem to be a bit stuck with regard to the scale, but at least it isnt' going the other direction right?! Small blessings! haha. Maybe it will come down in a day or two. Here's hoping.

Alexis - You've done that before with the pattern too huh? It's crazy! I think just recognizing it has given me so much more confidence though, so I'm glad that I did. I can see that I somehow 'conditioned' myself to this over the past few months and now I need to uncondition it!

LOL, I had to chuckle a bit at your note to self of "... a danger to self and others..." How are you a danger to others? I sincerely apologize if that's not meant to be funny but thats how I percieved it. Regardless, I hope today does end better for you than yesterday did.

I had a similar shopping experience lately! I got my credit card statement and between the traveling (plane tickets, oy!) and holiday shopping (which I did all in one fell swoop) my bill was GIGANTIC! haha, oh well, thats what happens I suppose. I'm glad to have my shopping out of the way for now, but I think my husband and I will be buying ourselves a new set of bedroom and dining room furniture when I go see him later this month. It's going to be pricey, but I'm super excited to finally start building OUR home together.

Krampus - LOL, do you not know me at all yet?! I REALLY dislike children, especially en masse, and I love nothing in the world so much as drinking and eating until it hurts. *sigh*

I think it's natures cruelest joke that excessive eating makes us fat. Why can't our bodies be solar powered and food is just a fun, delicious, calorie-free thing?!

THAT is my Christmas wish this year; Santa, I want to be made into a solar powered person who is incapable of processing calories. Please and thank you.


EDIT: I did the dual post again! TheBunneh - Even though it wasn't something you planned or wanted, it doesn't sound like you did too much damage in terms of calories. I'm sure that doesn't make you feel much better about the situation, but knowing you didn't put on a few pounds has to count for something I hope!

Apparently the rice crispies didn't ruin me, because the scale went down a bit to 133.4 this morning. I'll take it! Did I mention that the rice crispies had frosting and sprinkles on top? Thank god my husband ate the rest last night!

Chickie, Happy 1 year of maintaining! That is awesome and something that I really need to figure out this time around. Sorry that the babysitting didn't work out.

Turbo, I love Amazon so much and I'm amazed how quickly my orders are delivered!

Krampus, your potluck sound amazing!

Thanks, Joss! My parents eat fairly healthy and my mom is trying to lose a few pounds too. I figured I'd probably run to the store for my essential foods when I get there so I'm not as tempted by junk that they may have. I'm also thinking about bringing my 30 Day Shred DVD with me. I usually don't go to the gym on Sundays anyway, so Saturday will be the only day I'll be missing if I come back Sunday night.

Alexis, your "notes to self" are great reminders for me too... I'm also one that fails at having just one bite/serving. Moderation is a struggle for me.

Bunneh, it happens. Like you said, just don't let it spill into today. Pick yourself up and move on. That happened to me last week... I had one sh*tty day of eating which turned into 3 days before I could get over it and back on board.

Today if my Friday.. Woohooo! I just got home from work but both of my babies fell asleep in their carseats so I'm sitting in the driveway with my car running, catching up on 3fc. I'm attempting the gym tonight and will definitely bring Ruby (my daughter) an extra change of clothes in case she decides to be a super-pooper again.

Joss ~ Oh, holiday events... :heh: I play with a community orchestra and my (dear, long-suffering) friend came to our last holiday concert. She mentioned that a couple sitting behind her had taken the liberty of providing their own ummmm.... "refreshment" (champagne, she thinks) and one of them got the giggles real bad halfway through. Not that I'm saying you oughta pre-game... but

Krampus ~ I guess I just saw "quinoa/kale" and thought oh, health food? It looks like a good time, all the same!

Turbo ~ It was probably my fault for making all the purchases at once, rather than spacing them out over a period of time. What can I say? I am an all or nothing kinda girl...
What did you order for your brother from Amazon? Agree that they are SCARY efficient.

LoL right back...
How am I a danger to OTHERS???
Just ask the poor check out clerk whose head I nearly bit off because he didn't double bag my groceries with paper AND plastic (not just two plastic bags --I re-use them)... or the gas station attendant that I chewed out for being too slow with my change... or anyone within 10 feet of me who has to put up with the atomic gas clouds that I create when I'm eating compulsively.

I would almost say that I'm more dangerous to others than to myself. When I overeat, I just get chubby, but the people around me have to deal with the fallout from my rancid attitude.

(heehee... typing that out is making me realize exactly how destructive my poor eating behaviors can be!)

Okay, I'm posting like a mad woman because I am currently working on my thesis on my computer, on working on my computer in the kitchen just get me this EAT EAT EAT! feeling! HUUUUGH. I tried to control it by sipping water but after 500 mL drank, I was still lurking around for food...

I just made myself a tea. Hot beverage always sooths the hunger... Hope it last. I already ate my usual afternoon snack (an apple).. WAY to early. I'm gonna be dying at 6PM tonight lol

Joss : Gosh, drugstore are INTENSE with the food. I know it's practical but god, I ate going there and just seeing chocolat and candy and chocolat and candy...

I am duper proud of you though! You,re not giving in! Rock on!

Alexis : I got my brother the Band of Brothers dvd... that was on his list I also got The Batman trilogy and the movie Joyeux Noel (there is Diane Kruger in it, I think) for me though... LOL

Okay... I know my weight is up but I just got dressed to workout and exercise pants that were recently tight are approaching loose. I've been looking at myself in the mirror recently thinking my stomach was getting a lot bigger - I think my perspective might just be off cause my hips and legs are a bit smaller? Don't know if it's true but still feel a bit more motivated not to let the scale discourage me.

Alexis I know what you're talking about! I'm a terror to be around when my eating is a mess.

Turbo Hope the tea helps! I think I'm going to buy some fun flavors of herbal tea next time I go shopping to stave off the munchies at night.

Hello everyone!! I'm down another .6 today. I've had a lot of carbs today and a mediocre workout so we'll shall see if it holds. All in all I'm doing well. I just wanted to stop in quickly, I'm suppose to be doing a nursing care plan. So not motivated!!!!

Crazy day Feathers.....

Somehow I COMPLETELY missed my programming final exam. Thought it was this afternoon, but it was totally yesterday. Thank goodness I've been doing excellently in the class, because the professor is letting me make it up tomorow, but goodness, I was scared for a bit I'd fail!!

And then we went out for all-you-can-eat fish and chips....yeah....haha. Had wayyyyy too much. I don't usually eat any fried foods, but this is about the once a year I made an exception! Forget dieting, lol. At least I've got my fill of remembering how crap greasy oily food makes me feel! xD Whatever!

So the lingerie came in the mail on Wednesday, and just let me say. It will never fit. Like, the corset is so small, the only way it will ever fit is if I remove a couple ribs, or something... even then, who knows. Anyways, it was a bit discouraging, and made me feel huge On the bright side, the company I ordered it from does free exchanges (even pays the shipping both ways), so I'm waiting to hear back from them on how to initiate that process. However, I don't think it will be exchanged in time for Christmas, so I just need to decide if I should buy something locally as well. I do have other gifts for my husband aside from this, but he's expecting it, so I don't know if he'll be disappointed if it's not here on time.

My phone interview went well yesterday, I think. Hopefully I'll hear back from the recruiter soon on whether I'll get an in person interview. The in person interview is a 4 hour interview, so that will be nerve wracking, but apparently after that, it eases up, and they just do background checks, and what not. I forgot how stressful the technical interview process can be, I've been full of butterflies. It almost makes me want to just forget it, and ask my boss for a raise instead. But it can't really hurt to continue on, the only thing I've got to lose is a bit of my ego.

132.6 this morning. I'm not sure if the drop will start to level out soon or not. I guess we'll see how it goes over the weekend. My husband and I are going out for dinner tomorrow, so I'll probably eat more than usual then, and then next Wednesday is my work Christmas party, where I'll be eating a ton. But I'm feeling confident enough now that I can get back in the 120s before Christmas.

TheBunneh : I have 4-5 tea flavors in my kitchen and it really help me control de cravings so far

Domlacha : Congrats on the 0.6 lbs down!!

Mottaini : Oh god, that is awesome that you get to take your exam anyhow! That was always my biggest fear ever in college, to just missed the exam time lol!

Jessica : Posted at the same time! Do you think you could return the lingerie and get reimburse so you could re-order others stuff? Or they really just are doing exange?

***

Hi! Stepped on the scale at 136.2 AGAIN this morning, got all WTF, stepped on it again and it red 136.8 lbs. I guess I should have been happy to see the first number LOL It's only 0.6 pounds up, but it's still bumming, I haven't been able to crack the 135 in foreveeeeeer. Oh well.

I have quite a busy days, filled with things I'm not forward too... Bleeeh. Just feel like complaning Take care feathers!

Turbo ~ Those sound like lovely Christmas presents. I feel like DVDs are like an invitation to curl up on the couch and get cozy. Silly scale! (I'd again, probably take the average of the two numbers and call it a day... )

Thebunneh ~ Glad someone else can commiserate with the whole overeating holy terror thing. Perspective is everything when it comes to weight, but try not to obsess. If your workout clothes are getting looser, that's a huge accomplishment, but you're IN your workout clothes and that's what really matters.

Domlacha ~ Those unexpected drops are always rewarding! Keep on, girl!

Mottainai ~ What a relief that the professor is letting you make up the exam. And where did you go to get all you can eat fish n' chips? Sounds (greasy, but) delicious! I gathered from Krampus's response that your hubby is from Japan, is that right? Sweet! How did you guys meet?

JessicaB ~ How disappointing about the lingerie. Not even anything you could have done about it. Glad that you feel like the interview went well! I work in recruiting and it's such a crapshoot on how interviews go.... Fingers crossed for you!
~~~

Woke up feeling like crap (throat feels like carpet, eyeballs are hot, barking seal cough, etc. ) Trying to just drink lots of fluid and kick it out. Am putting off making calls for work because I sound like an 80 year old lounge singer... Bleh.

Am supposed to go tour a winery tomorrow. Hoping I can knock this crap out before then...

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFF this is the second time in a row I wrote a long reply and lost it.

Basically I overate a lot at the potluck but it was worth it. I didn't eat anything I didn't love (ignored the tiny hot dogs and bread) and the 4 1/2 homemade chocolate chunk cookies I had were worth it. As well as the quinoa salad, my salad, blue tortilla chips and buffalo chicken/7 layer bean/sour cream/guac/cheese dip, chili, massaman curry soup, Toscana cheese, and whatever else it was.

NSV alert - I grossed everyone out sticking my full stomach out and pretending it was a baby. When I had an actual gut to speak of (now it's just a bit of fat and some looseish skin, but looks flat under clothes) I never would've had the chutzpah to do that. I am pretty sure drawing attention to one's stomach is something that only a person who has "grown into" their (feather)weight would do.

125.8 this morning. Stiiiiiiinky poop at work, I have probably destroyed the hallway. Party tonight with a friend who is notorious for serving only mediocre unhealthy food. nnggffff. Will be going to the gym beforehand!

Alexistrophic Feel better!!! Sleep 12 hours and load up on Vitamin C. Hope your voice comes back!

TurboMammoth Good luck on your busy day!

JessicaB That sucks about the corset, I hate when things don't fit and it makes me feel like it's somehow MY fault. I'm sure you'll be able to find a decent substitute in the meantime. 4 hours is nerve-wracking indeed, but you'll be OK!

Domlacha I had a mediocre workout yesterday too. Is it something in the air??

mottainai MMMMMMMMMMMMM fish and chips! I bet your tummy is having a field day today. Take care.

TheBunneh Listen to your pants, not the scale!

OhThePlaces Wishing you the best for your trip to the homeland and weekend away!

JossFit WOOOOO he-man big eaters "no kids allowed" club unite!

ITS FRIDAY!!! WHOOT!

I don't really know why I'm so excited because I don't have any big plans this weekend. I just am bored at work lately and sitting at my desk, especially in the afternoons, seems to be a HUGE cravings inducer for me.

Thank you very much to the jerkface who brought in several boxes of Dunkin' Doughnuts. Heaven forbid we have a day when someone doesn't bring in baked goods to the office! I know it's my own issue and it's not like anyone is waving them in my face by any means but I still wish they weren't there.

I'm debating weighing myself tomorrow but I think I'll most likely continue to hold off until the 22nd. I doubt I'll see anything I like at this point!


Alexis - So sorry you woke up feeling rotten today! Man, that's the pits, especially with a winery tour tomorrow. Some things you can still enjoy when you feel a bit under the weather, but I assume a winery tour would involve sampling the wines. If that's the case, it might not be as pleasant or as tasty with a scratchy throat and wacky sinus issues. Good luck feeling better before then! Take some Emergen-C, drink some Theraflu, hot tea, or whatever and get lots of rest!

You know what? I'm probably a danger to others when I'm eating compulsively too, but in a different way. I'm ZONED out when I do that; I'm eating when I'm driving and probably not paying as much attention to what's going on around me. Its probably as bad as texing and driving.

I'm sure there have been some days that my gas alone could have killed someone, and my husband's sex drive is probably also in danger! LOL a bloated wife stuffing her face wearing sweatpants is not super sexy. Ick.

DURING those periods I'm pretty happy and social, but AFTERWARD... yeah, rancid attitude here. Yeesh. I'm like, depressed the day after I eat like that.

Turbo - Meh, I would still count that as 136.2 and ignore the higher weight. In my mind when the scales do weird things like that the higher number is the fluke. After all, a lot of things can add weight (bloating/water/TOM/clothing) but you can't exactly take away weight that really is there, right? Does that make any sense?

Any decorating or baking going on this weekend?

I'm so glad you know what I mean about the drug store goodies. I know I can't be the only one who sees how set up it is for single serving indulgences. I NEVER would buy a whole box of cookies, even during a binge (because I like a variety of things and I have this weird issue where I won't buy anything I don't think I can finish off) but drug stores and gas stations take care of that by putting everything in individual containers. Jerks!

Jessica - Shopping online can be so hit-or-miss. I ordered a dress and some pants that *should* be arriving today, and I'm a little nervous about how, or IF they'll fit... especially the pants! I would just send the lingerie back and then go somewhere local to pick out another ensemble. That way you can be SURE it fits, that you like it, that you feel comfortable in it, and that it compliments your shape. Good lingerie can do amazing things, but bad lingerie can be soooooo baaaaadddd... hahaha

I hope all went well with the first part of the interview! It's over now, and you did all you could, so the rest is in fate's hands. Let us know how it turns out!

You are less than 3 pounds away from hitting those 120's, and there are still a full 17 days between today and Christmas day... as long as you don't TOTALLY overdo it at your dinner this weekend and the party next week you can hit that! Just buckle down the rest of the time, get plenty of sleep and stay hydrated.

Mottainai - How fortunate that they professor will let you take the exam still! Will you get full credit or do you get any sort of penalty off your score because it is a bit late? Do you feel prepared for it?

LOL I don't think all you can eat fish and chips is up my alley, but I could do with a piece or two of some really awesome fish with some super zesty, dilly, lemony tartar sauce and crispy fries. That is one of those meals that, when done right, can blow your mind -- but a bad batch can turn you off of it forever. Do you eat yours with tartar sauce, malt vinegar, or something else? I have to have something acidic to break up all that fried-ness.

I don't think I've had it in about a million years though.

Domlacha - Ugh, a nursing care plan sounds, um... not fun. I don't blame you for procrastinating a bit! Down another .6 pounds?! Awesome sauce lady! It looks like a lot of us Feathers are really doing well so far this month. What a change from just a week or two ago when we were all hoovering up everything in sight!

TheBunneh - The issue with your clothing is one of those things we all TALK about but not many of us can actually wrap our minds around; "the scale is just a tool and it doesn't matter... what matters is how my clothes fit". yeah... TRUE, BUT really, how many of us remember that and take it to heart when we are the ones looking at those two seemingly conflicting things; looser clothing and a higher scale read-out.

Fortunately for me the scale has been higher AND my clothes have been fitting tigher so there is no confusion there! hahaha

In either case, congratulations on the little NSV!

OhThePlaces - Bring the DVD! Worst case, you don't use it... but if you DO have time you'll be glad to have it with you. Good luck, and have fun this weekend!

Krampus - I always love how candid you are about your poop... hahaha! Its funny how hung up people are about their stomachs isn't it? Why is it such a taboo area to show? I have a nice midsection even when I don't think it's at it's best (like now) but I would still feel weird walking around in a cut off shirt. Strange really...

The potluck sounds like a lot of delicious fun, so I'm glad you enjoyed it! I would have been all over those cookies too. Instead I watched a bunch of 7 year olds BUTCHER holiday songs. Some of them were super cute in their little holiday outfits, but some of them behaved like spoiled little a$$holes and I was happy it was a short event.

Bah Humbug! haha

Okay, I'm ready to go back and do some personals.

OhThePlaces The thought of grubby little hands all over something doesn't particularly turn me off too much either. I personally believe some level of germs and dirt is good for you, so I don't stress too much about such things. Glad to hear that even though you indulged, you didn't go way overboard. That can feel like a failure sometimes, but I personally know that now when I indulge, I usually at least eat less than I would have a year ago, so that's something in and of itself at least.

kakers Glad to hear the bank refunded most of the fraudulent charges. A long time ago, like 10 years now, I had fraudulent bank charges, but never managed to get anywhere with having them refund it before I just gave up. Credit card companies are much better with that sort of thing than banks are, unfortunately.

Bayzee wishing you a speedy recovery with your pulled muscle, and hope it doesn't affect your workouts too much.

ChickieChicks One year of maintenance is awesome. Congrats on that!

TheBunneh Not sure what I would do about thanking your estranged sister for the holiday wreath. At the very least, if you go the facebook route, I'd try to write a bit more than just thank you, like how have you been doing, etc. Then at least you are making a bit of conversation, but not awkwardly stuck on the phone. An e-mail even might seem a bit more personal than facebook.

Alexistrophic Hope you feel better soon

Domlacha It's hard to keep up motivation sometimes. Good luck with your nursing plan.

mottainai Good luck on your exam today. I used to always have trouble sleeping the night before an exam, because I'd have nightmares about sleeping in and missing it! Great that your prof was understanding about it.

Domlacha Congrats on the drop

Turbo I think they have a larger size in stock now so the plan is just to exchange it... if they return my e-mail that is! I think if I just do a return, I'll lose a bit of the money on it, so either way I'll exchange it. I initially bought online because it's so much cheaper, but I'll probably also follow [B]Joss[\B]' suggestion and get something local too, since it won't be exchanged on time for Christmas. I just hope my husband doesn't complain about me going over the budget we agreed upon. In actuality, the lingerie is sort of a gift for both of us, so I just tell myself it doesn't really count against what I'm allowed to spend on him.

krampus Glad you enjoyed the potluck. I've been known to eat mediocre things just because of the I'm already overeating I might as well flawed logic. So awesome of you to just stick to the things that you love.

Joss I don't think I could deal with people constantly bringing food into work. I am not looking forward to when the guys at the office start bringing in their wives holiday baking! I've already decided I am not going to do any holiday baking this year, aside from gingerbread, because I don't want the temptations around. The gingerbread I am doing because a gingerbread house is always a fun project and something I have fond childhood memories of. I'm planning on making 2, one to give to my daughter's daycare provider, and another for the family. I imagine my husband will eat most of it.

---------------

So I mentioned in passing that my husband and I are going out for dinner tomorrow. I am really looking forward to tomorrow, because my daughter is going for a sleepover at my in-law's, and I basically get to drop her off after lunch time, so I'll have almost a whole day kid free. We are going to a restaurant to use up a groupon I purchased a while ago, which is for any 2 entrees and an appetizer. I'll let my husband pick the appetizer and hope he eats most of it. As for the entree, I really want to get one of the most expensive things on the menu to maximize the value of the groupon. I'm thinking steak, since it's sorta healthy, and served with veggies. I may skip lunch tomorrow to try to stay within my calories.

When we pick up my daughter, the in-laws are going to be making us breakfast, so I'm hoping they do eggs & bacon, rather than french toast. I have been eating more carbs lately, and I think they are aware of that, so they might not be so considerate in making something a little on the lighter side. On the bright side, since it's just breakfast, at least I'll be able to plan what I eat the rest of the day to balance it out. Then we are going to go pick our Christmas tree, which I am very excited for!

Everyone have a great weekend.

Hi guys, a bit busy for personals, but again just checking in. (:

Thanks for everyone's comments about my exam! It was super freaking easy. Would've been such a shame if I'd failed the whole course just because of missing it!

Alexistrophic, yes, my husband is Japanese! We actually met on the internet, haha. Not on a dating website, just on like a language learning website, as I study Japanese and he English, starting Skype-ing, then I flew up here to Canada to visit him once, just for fun....and right before I got on the plane to go home he kissed me. xD And from there on, well, things just kept on improving! It's a great story, right?

My gosh, I felt so awful last night from the fish and chips. It was good, and the place we go is a great deal (12 bucks for truly all you can eat, good quality actually too, and they're very generous about bringing you more and more and more! xD) but I felt pretty crap afterwards.

....I'm just gonna be honest here: I've been binging my face off for the past 48 hours. All sorts of stuff I usually never eat, besides the fish and french fries, chips, cookies, jelly beans, and of course ice cream ice cream ice cream.

And the worse thing is, I don't even really care all that much! I know it's the wrong this to do, but I'm making the choice to do it now. I'm kinda stressed/anxious for finals to be over, bit nervous about going to Japan....that's not really why I'm eating though. It's more like...I'm having a lot of thoughts about my whole way of eating and weigh-loss stuff. I kinda realized that I don't really even have a very good reason for losing weight. I wasn't really doing it to get healthy or anything- mostly I just wanted to to boost my self-esteem, because unfortunately the thing I put most of my identity and worth in is my appearance, especially lately with all the weird upheavals going on in my life, and, in all honesty, to be able to binge eat without feeling guilty about it. I really need to put my motivations in better things. Otherwise I can see that I'm so headed for a life of bad eating cycles... If I can only feel good about myself when I'm thin and hitting weight goals, what's getting pregnant going to be like? If I keep romanticizing this weird mega-food binge-like eating meals, well, when I think honestly about it, there are a lot of negatives I just don't usually acknowledge in order to justify continuing the habit.

Whew, sorry for all that heavy stuff guys, but I've just got a lot going on in my head right now.

My question for you all is: What are your motivations for losing weight?
Just curious, could maybe use some ideas and thoughts here.

Best wishes for all the rest of you!!!