Joss : I understand how you feel for all the reasons for not going at your party. I always had akward meeting with my ex in general, except for one guy who is still my friend (and it is explained by the fact that we were 14 when we dated LOL). It is really generous from you to babysit your roomate kid

My thesis is not printed out yet, I think I'll do that at the beginning of next week, being super busy today and having a party with my former lab tomorrow afternoon. I still have to go over it one last time... But everytimes I look at it, i turn in a mood where... well, a guy from my class started it in college : when you read of hear something that you just don't careeeee at all, you just start you say repetedly ''meow meow meow'' (yes, the cat sound) in your head. It became a well know expression among our friends, we would get together after a class and be like ''god, I was so Meow Meow Meow for the last 30 minutes'' And well, I'm pretty much MeowMeowMeowing on my thesis these days

I did a Martha Stewart Gingerbread cookie recipes yesterday and they were so good, and weirdly, not so much full of sugar! (like I was super surprised by this, coming from a M.Stewart website...) You really mainly taste the spices, which is great

***

Hola! I felt I did so good yesterday, I felt even a bit weird/light headed coming back from the hockey game, which led me to think that my sugar or blood pressure was low. I stayed on plan (did not take the light headed excuse to rush on cookies) and this morning I was at 138.0. BAAAAAAAM!

Bleh. I'm not really trying to prove that I did good yesterday and that my body is the one being wrong, but I did drink tons yesterday and don't remember peeing much. Why do I keeep this wateeeeer! (... maybe TOM is coming?) Anyways

Have a good day feathers!

Happy Thursday. I am totally over this "being stuck at work with nothing to do" business and am going to go home and have lunch with my roommate (omelet and salad, I'm already drooling in anticipation!) and go to the post office to send cards in an hour or so.

I weighed 125.2 this morning again - dinner was 3 kinds of soup (Hungarian mushroom dill, vegetarian mung bean/kale/curry, rich meaty bean/corn beef chili) which I think were pretty salty, and I had some wine (~1.5 glasses or less) and not enough water. Today is going to be my "day off" the gym as the last couple times I went I was really dragging my feet. Will return with vigor tomorrow!

Craft night with the Krampuses was fun last night - 2 new people came and it was nice to just hang out with ladies and get stuff made. I found out one of my friends' dads just got moved to hospice care, which is very sad, but at least he was at her wedding and able to see his youngest child get married.

I'm going out to dinner at a $$$ Greek restaurant with my "eating buddy" who I now only see once every other month or so. We have been friends since we were high school seniors and bonded over eating huge greasy meals together - since then we've changed a lot and perhaps only have eating in common. I'm going to order baked fish with veggies and LEMON POTATOES.

Weekend is coming - I have my friend's karaoke bday party on Saturday. She's approximately pixellate/mottainai-sized and I got her the world's tiniest EIGHTIES ALIEN DISCO SILVER dress from Macy's (on clearance for $4, I'm not kidding). My embarrassingly fat/lame ex from 2004 will be there and I am going to be nice, I swear. My boyfriend is coming too and I'm not sure whether I should tell/warn him fat/lame ex is going to be there or not? What would you do? I may be more inclined to just leave it, since he can see who is on the FB invite...if he is curious he can ask me.

JossFit Since you asked...



Pfffff I totally have a complex when I see pictures of you on here too, don't be silly :P I'm VERY photogenic and look better in pictures than in person. I think I will take him up on the skiing and offer to go even though it's like $80 for lift tickets for one day and I'll be stuck tripping 5 year olds and trying to stab them with ski poles on the bunny slope. I went snowboarding once and I got so pissed and frustrated at how bad I was and how often I fell that I think I actually cried tears of anger. I didn't know you were an ex-smoker...good habit to ditch in our 20s as opposed to much later.

As for the ex thing...who the heck WANTS to see their ex with a new person, even if you had an amicable split and have both moved on? I don't think anyone other than masochists who hate themselves would sign up for that kind of experience. You are better off babysitting! Maybe you'll bond with the kid. I was wondering to myself how often to get massages - I guess I can go ahead and schedule another for myself!

TurboMammoth Ice hockey? So Canadian of you! My roommate is from Bangor, Maine (really close to the border) and I just found out the other day that she played hockey in high school and is a NHL fanatic. What are you and your friend going to bake? Take pictures! The scale is fickle but I'm sure a drop will register if you keep on going. Sometimes it's delayed...like I'll grossly overeat and see nothing the morning after, but the day after it'll go up. I wonder if our TOM will be regular this month?!

kakers How are you feeling now? Reading your pancake batter cake description has me drooling all over myself at my desk here. Hopefully the downward trend will continue and not require you to go back to meticulous OCD counting. I didn't know you were from Syracuse - I've never been there except to Sterling to go to the Renaissance Fair twice, but my parents used to live there when they were first married and hated the snow.

Okay, what you are eating looks HUGE and DELICOUS.

It was indoor/gymnasium hockey because I'm super bad on skate. I took classes when I was a kid because, as you said, it is so Canadian to skate. I made a buddy during my classes and we decided that we were too school to skate, so we were spending our time just crawling on the ice. My mom.was.proud. My boyfriend is a NHL fanatic though (I mostly love to cheer on anything and drink beer), we used to go to a few games every year until they called the lockout. I have so time to do stuff with my bf now that there is no hockey, I love it.

I'll take picture of the bakeothon, if my friend can just get there alreadyyyy. She texted me that she missed an exit three times while trying to leave Montreal LOL

Just a quick post to say hi! I've been checking up on the chat, just haven't had much to say and no real time for personals.

My weight seems to be dropping back down, finally. And I've felt more in control of my eating.

kakers ~ lol - I did not, indeed, know that about pancake batter... But it sounds delicious. Hope you and your hubby are feeling better. Posting in on the weekend is a good goal and I know that for me, it can keep me in check when it comes to curbing a slide down food mountain.

Mottainai ~ My word, you ARE tiny ...by any standards! Glad you've realized that all the worrying was unnecessary. Hoping you can fully enjoy the time with your hubby's family.

Krampus ~ Your arts and crafts night sounds like tons of fun. Didja make anything good? Driving seems like the way to go for a getaway. Plane fares to anywhere are just outRAGEOUS! I heard on the radio this morning that there will be record numbers of people on the road and AAA is predicting the biggest road travel week since 2006. The main reason people are electing to drive is because they're "just not satisfied" with plane fares. No kidding.

Turbo ~ Hurray for a bug free thesis. lol - You Canadians and your hockey. I worked for a Canadian company abroad and they were all about getting street hockey teams together. Yummmmm for baking with friends and even better to have someone to send stuff home with. Doing my

Dom ~ It does seem like you're on a steady losing streak. Good pace you're setting, too.

Joss ~ Your party plan (chillin' w. roomie's kiddos so she can have a night out) sounds both selfless and sound. There's absolutely nothing to be gained by putting yourself in a compromising situation near someone with whom you have a history. You are fabulous woman, living a fantastic life, and looking good while doing it. No need to interact with him at all.

Re: the party - I managed to make up the healthy appetizer and only have a few cookies before I left the house and NONE while I was at the party. Also took my appetizer tray and used it as a reason to socialize and work the room. I felt like an app pusher. "You know you want one... C'mon... They're healthy!" lol. Win/win. I Stayed within my cut-off period (8PM) and still managed to post a loss this morning (153.2).

Looking at my past behavior, it seems like I'm most vulnerable to binge attacks in the period before or after the party/social event, rather than the event itself. I'm either nervous waiting for it, or feeling the letdown/relief afterwards and that has an enormous tendency to lead me into the food. I'm trying to put better self-care habits in place, though. Where in the past I would have come home and chowed down on a bucket of ... whatever... now I'm trying to get in the habit of taking a bath, or going for a walk, or making a cup of super-strong cinnamon tea (my new favorite apres-party reward).


~~~
The Christmas party last night was a ton of fun! We did a "yankee swap" and I brought a pound of Sbux coffee + gag book called "Don't Try This at Home". I ended up with... (wait for it...) a PINK FLOYD sunggie!!! PINK FLOYD... SUNGGIE!!! I took it to work this morning because our office has been freezing and we joke about starting a company that makes "work friendly" snuggies (with pictures of dress suits, etc). Lo and behold... PINK FLOYD! (I'm not really a fan, but if there's anything that would make a snuggie less... lame... then Pink Floyd would be the people.

Breakfast was some of the cookies I didn't eat last night + a pear. Sugar heavy, but it didn't feel so bad and I tell ya, ever since I started adding in ONE piece of fruit in the morning... my "bathroom time" has never been more... rewarding.

Have another get-together tonight. Not really for Christmas, just a church group that meets every other Thursday. Am planning on going straight from work and making a quick stop at Ikea (for glogg and tea light candles) in between. Hoping to also nip out to the mall on my lunch break to see if they have any dress options for tomorrow. I have a stand-by dress that is fine and another two options that are supposed to arrive tomorrow, too, but I'd love to either have a cute shrug to wear over the stand-by dress or a knockout dress that I could have ready to go. Would also like another set of velcro rollers, since they're now my go to styling tool. I'm trying to make more of an effort with my hair now, since I'm normally just a throw-it-in-a-ponytail kinda gal. I keep thinking of that scene in Mean Girls: "You can only wear your ponytail once a week."

Joss...There were moments that you may want to fall into "baby peer pressure". There were times I felt that maybe I should be doing what everyone else is doing, but certainly not strong enough to seriously consider it. There was no doubt that I lost some friends and was excluded from get-togethers because I didn't have kids. And there is no doubt that people think you are strange for not wanting kids. It got to the point in my early 30's when we just started saying we're not sure we can have kids. There is a group of us mid 30-40 range that I work with who don't have kids. It's still uncommon, but I'm noticing more and more people choosing to not have kids.

I actually skipped my staff party too. I was worried I'd blow my diet and to be honest, this time of year, I'm getting tired of seeing the people I work with ! LOL! Turns out...I didn't miss much. And nobody ever brings their spouses to our staff parties, neither for my husband's.


Turbo...I speak and understand French, certainly not Québecois French, but enough to get by in Ontario. I must be the only person who does not like gingerbread cookies. Not sure why, but they are not my thing.

Krampus...I booked my Christmas flight in April! They are sold-out now, but more than tripled in price. I used to get good last minute deals, but I think those days are gone. Smoked turkey drumstick in pic? Looks amazing!
Go for the skiing...worse case scenerio, you can drink in the chalet till everyone's done!

Dom...I need some of your weight loss thrown my way! Keep it up! you're doing so well!

Kakers...LOL! That is an interesting recipe, I will have to give it a go!

Mottainai...Holy! You are tiny! You do not have to worry about eating on your trip! LOL!

Bunneh...Good work with feeling in control...that is half the battle!

Alex...Cookies for breakfast...that a girl!

__________________________________________

Nothing new to report...eating well and working out everyday so far. I'll weigh-in tomorrow...hopefully not tons of water weight from TOM.
Tonight is my night off, but I might do a cardio circuit since the last one kicked my butt! Thank goodness tomorrow is Friday. I'm really looking forward to some wine and relaxing. 10 sleeps till my trip!

hey feathers! I didn't get to weight in this morning which makes me totally sad!!! I was hoping to being able to see 146.something again on the scale this morning as I didn't get to see it more than once this past summer, but alas the batteries were dead in the scale this morning. Of course I will probably be up tomorrow as I went out with co-workers and had three bell's two hearted beers and a side of fries!! After forgetting part of my lunch at home today and having to eat what they served the residents at work today. But it was fun and I enjoyed every once of beer. I just wanted to see 146.anything for one more day. Time for some pizza!

I hope everyone is doing well!

I was nervous this morning, as I have mentioned (I think) I don't eat before noon. But when I got to my first client the dad was making omelettes and offered me one. Who can turn down a home cooked omelette cooked by a chef? (ok, retired Navy chef, but still LOL) and it was delicious, and I worked on it for 2.5 hours until it was time for me to go, so on the plus side, I ended up full and skipped lunch. But I was nervous when I ate it that it would be a bad day.

I didn't need to worry. When I got home for lunch I called to see if my evening client had gone to school to see if we could go out in the community during our session (we don't if he doesn't go to school, because we go places he likes, and no. If you don't go to school out of sheer stubbornness, you get nothing good.) Well, that client hadn't gone to school, so I got myself ready and went right over. We got him to school, and then the mom took me to dunkin donuts so we could get something to drink before we went back to the school to stake out and see if he got on the bus or not. So I had a small vanilla chai and one munchkin.

Then there was traffic so even though I left early, I got home about the same time. I DID make the smart choice to come home instead of going out for fast food with my friend. Although, then I cleaned out the deep fryer and made popcorn chicken and curly fries.

Small servings though. Overall I'd say the day didn't go bad food wise, and I was much more active than most days.

Oh, then I got home and the balance beam my mom got me for my birthday had arrived! WOO HOO!! It's in 2 sections so I only took out the short one for now, but practice my jumps and some turns I love my beam.

Now to bed. I only got 5 hours of sleep last night cause my body doesn't understand going to bed on time anymore... and I am going to be getting up EXTRA early tomorrow to go and make sure that client GOES THE HECK TO SCHOOL. My body doesn't understand being up at 8:30, so got help me with getting it up at 6:30 tomorrow.

~Katy

Agh, need some accountability! Last Thursday (after getting back to 135) I was eating some chocolate buttons from a big bag, and before I knew it I had eaten them all. When I looked and saw that I had just consumed 800 calories that I didn't even enjoy I just got annoyed. And binged. It was a big, horrible binge. And I cried. What a stupid reason to binge, but hey, I'm not the smartest cookie in the vegetable tray. I was also having some hardcore PMS, went away for the weekend and continued eating everything to the point of almost bursting (a fat and poop explosion). I also didn't poop lol.. I guess the stress and anxiety of it all. Well I came back to some terrifying numbers on Monday but I've been having a hard time getting it back together. I spent Tuesday pooping though and it was awesome. Aaaanyway, TOM is nearly gone and I'm committed to eating normally today. Weigh in this morning was 140.6, my pants feel tight and my legs feel wobbly. I felt them wobble and jiggle while eyeing up cheese and chocolate in the shop this week.

Sorry to turn this into a total whine fest by the way, wa waa waaaaa. I hope you're all awesome - lots of love to you all

kakers I'm a firm believer in the saying "When life gives you omelettes, you go right ahead and eat those delicious omelettes". Words to live by.
Have fun with your balance beam! That sounds awesome.

Domlacha Aww, I know the feeling - I hate not weighing in.. it drives me crazy! Congratulations on hitting 146 though

Bayzee Enjoy the wine! I've been enjoying it a lot lately myself.

Alexistrophic Hooray for rewarding bathroom time! Fruit certainly is our friend in that respect. And your Pink Floyd snuggie sounds amazing, ha, I would never have thought that it would even exist. The world is full of endless possibilities, right?!

TheBunneh Way to go on getting back control! I know it's hard, I'm fighting it right now.

Turbo Eek, light headedness is no fun - I'm glad you didn't pass out or anything this time. Maybe TOM is on the way though? I often get dizzy during PMS. Being a woman sucks sometimes, right. Bloated, dizzy and angry haha.. how delightful! Sorry to hear about the dreaded 138, but if it makes you feel any better I'm currently back in the 140s

Krampus pffff! How do you still look hot stuffing your face? No fair! When I eat I'm like a sweaty beast. Well probably, I don't usually eat in front of mirrors (for good reason, I imagine).

Craft night with the krampuses should really be a youtube show, I love me some glue and glitter.. Yeehaw.

Sorry to hear about your friends dad too, that is very sad.

Joss Feelings are so hard and annoying when it comes to exes, you described it all very well and I totally get why you wouldn't want to be there without your husband. It's hard when things aren't black and white and there's all these grey residual feelings. Besides missing one party ain't too bad! That sort of situation would totally derail me food wise I'm sure. Eating my feelings.

Hot stone massage sounds amazing! I've never tried one. I'm lucky that my boyfriend is a trained masseur though, but I don't get as many massages as I'd like (I want constant massages.. constant). Ohh well.

Mottainai Glad to see you arrived safely! You look tiny, so nothing to worry about there. I hope you have an absolutely amazing time

I hope you all don't mind me butting in, as I'm not quite yet a feather (although I long to be and will be soon ), but I have seriously really enjoyed reading through this thread.

Joss - I specifically wanted to tell you that I have read your transformation stories and I am WOWED to the wow. You look great! I would love to ask you about your workouts because I hear terms like "deadlifts" and my brain goes into a freaked out glaze. I want to be an awesome workout girl with a kickbutt body that I'm proud of, but have no idea where to start! Your current weight is my goal weight and you look great!

To the others - I LOVE hearing your stories, too! I hope you all don't mind me lurking and reading until I get to the point where I'm pretty close to goal, too!

If it makes you feel better, I hit 140.0 this morning. We really do follow eachother weightwise.

I think I'm really PMSing right now though, I just drink and drink and don't pee and yesterday my boobs were all swollen (first time I observed that though...)

***

As I said to LeilaJey, 140.0 this morning. I drank like more than 1.5 liters of water + coffee and pee-ed twice. come onnnn

Not much time for personnals, I have to bake TWO Christmas log yule thing for my lab party this afternoon. another eat fest on the way this afternoon, and we are having people for dinner tonight. Oh god.

I did overeat yesterday during the bake-o-thon. We baked so many good things though and freezed most of it. I'll post pictures thing weekend.

On a good note : my cousin gave birth to her baby and I'm not a godmothhhhhhher! Can't wait to go and see the baby when they'll be out of the hospital. I only hope I won't drope it or soemthing (...)

Turbo I liked it better when we were 136 buddies! We can do this. I just need to grow 2" and then we'll be right on. I was also retaining water like crazy though, I drank a pint of water in bed the other night and barely peed in the morning. I'm like a human lake.

I saw a pretty scary number on Monday, that's why I didn't post all week, I was out of control. It's crazy how much damage you can do in just a few days.

olehcat: Hey! Join us whenever, as we've said before being a 'feather' is more about the mentality of being close to your goal weight. Or being in a normal bmi range but still not where you want to be etc, or it could be at a higher weight. Not everybody wants to get to a low weight! Anyway, lurk away or chat.. I'll warn you that it's hard to keep up though! And well done on your first 10lbs! Awesome

Turbo - No dropping babies! haha That is fantastic news for both your cousin and you as well! How much fun is are you going to have being a Godmother?! You can totally spoil the kiddo and then give it back. Perfect!

I'm sorry you're up today but at least you know TOM is partially to blame for it. I almost feel sheepish admitting that I never get any symptoms from TOM; no bloating, water weight, cramps, cravings... none of it. I've always had very light easy cycles BUT they're so irregular and it's only made worse by my lower bodyfat percentage. Sometimes I'll go long periods of time without having TOM at all, which is nice admittedly, but also scary! I can't use BC because it makes me absolutely insane so my husband and I just go au natural... yikes.

LOL, is all that TMI??

So what sorts of delicious things did you bake yesterday? The yule logs you are making today... traditional chocolate with cream filling or something else? I love the way that Swiss Colony decorates theirs! I've never tried them so I don't know what they taste like, but how cute are these??



And... they're made of chocolate so you can eat their little faces off.

olehcat - First of all, there is no BMI requirement to be in the Feather's Chat. You don't need to lurk around... say hi or chime in whenever you feel like it! We're a bunch of chatty ladies in here and love when new ladies come in and say hi.

Secondly, thank you so very much for your kind words! Honestly when I first started lifting weights back in 2004-ish, I hired a personal trainer to set me up with a starter program and then spent about a bazillion hours looking up exercise videos and photographs online to learn proper form. I never stopped... I am CONSTANTLY in search of new workouts, scientific studies regarding nutrition and training, etc. I have an unquenchable thirst for it! I know it sounds cliche but the first thing you need to do is just start reading everything you can get your eyeballs on and go from there. I hear great things about The New Rules of Lifting for Women as a beginner program.

Leila - Sometimes that is just the way the cookie crumbles! We're women and we're crazy and the things we do don't always follow logic and make sense but that's how we operate! I'm so sorry that you had a hard time sticking to your plan but it sounds like you're back to it now and *hopefully* you aren't being too hard on yourself over it! The way you write always makes me laugh and I know you have a great sense of humor so I'm sure that translates into your personality IRL as well. I can't imagine you being the type of person to take yourself too seriously. Besides, you did some awesome pooping and you're back on track today, so that's all you can do!

Uuugh, yes... the ex. Man, that one was a doozy too. Its funny because I never think about any other boyfriend or even my ex husband, but that one guy definitely pops up more often than I would like. Yes, lesson to be learned here; DON'T DATE WHERE YOU WORK! LOL.
I would totally be eating and drinking away my discomfort and I have been so good lately and I'm starting to look good again too so I'm not messing that up over him! I wish I could say that my thoughts only ever focus on my husband and how amazing he is and lucky I am to have found him... but that's not realistic. I'm human and I do have the random emotion from time to time, as much as I would (sometimes) like to be a soulless robot. haha

Your BF is a massuese?? Excuse me while I turn a hulk-esque shade of green! My husband definitely has some handyman skills, and I love that, but it would be fantastic if he could work out MY kinks too!

Kakers - It sounds to me like you did really well, all in all. Nothing to be upset about there! Your new beam sounds like fun! I am so bad at things like that I would bust my noggin open promptly so I hope you're more graceful than I!


Krampus - You still look gorgeous in your picture. Jerkface.


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Krampus, Bayzee, Domlacha, TheBunneh, Alexis --- I'm coming back for the rest of the peronals later! I have GOT to get moving for a meeting!

OK...I weighed in this morning eventhough TOM isn't quite over. 114.8!
I feel happy about that, but disappointed I won't make my 111 goal for my trip.
Speaking of trip...I'm starting to feel very nervous. I'm very worried I'm going to come back 10lbs heavier, which is not unusal for me on this type of holiday...all you can eat and drink! I want to have fun and enjoy myself without the obsession of eating or drinking too much. I also don't want to obsess about it because it won't make hubby happy. While I am VERY disciplined right now, I'm not sure I will have the power to reach the gym everyday for a workout while in sunny Mexico! I don't like to interrupt my beach time! LOL!
Trip Goal: I need to at least workout everyday if I'm adding sooo many more calories!