[Born This Way]

less attractive/less confident guys can be the biggest jerks. i just had a conversation with a rather short, slightly overweight guy in a fraternity when he was a little out of it. he kept on trying to put me down, and i just started laughing at him. i straight up confronted him about his motives, and eventually got out of him its a strategy. that playing on a girls' insecurities is the best way to get her to be willing to "hook up" with a guy like him.

its disgusting. and can catch you off guard if you don't look at the guys reasoning for treating you like that. and i know its bs because guys much better looking & more confident than him were complimenting me on the same night.

the bottom line is, you know you're not fat. its hard sometimes because females tend to be wired to be insecure, but we don't have to accept that. gotta let things like that slide right off when they happen, and pity the people who need to use such cruelty just to feel good about themselves.

a group of guys and girls last night were walking behind me in my building and one of the guys made this really mean sound effect when i walked, and they all started laughing. at one point in my life that would have severely affected me, and ruined my night. but you know what? i am better than them. contrary to popular belief, despite that i am not a stick, I am allowed to love myself. I won't let anyone take that away from me.

[raebeaR]

I'm NOT a featherweight, so I hope I'm not intruding... but I wanted to share this story with you, because these creeps are everywhere:

When I was in my early 20s and at my absolute hottest -- tall, slender and (may I say so) drop-dead gorgeous, I was out with friends for drinks at a club. We were having a great chatty night, so I wasn't dancing with anyone. (When I DID dance, I had a rule that I would dance with whomever asked, because it always irritated me how women would accept dances from good looking guys but turn down the ugly or plain looking ones.)

I had turned down several invitations to dance when this guy came up to me and asked. I declined politely, saying that I wasn't dancing that evening -- with anyone. He looked at me for a minute, then said, "Well, I only asked you because I felt sorry for you, because you're so UGLY. Ugly, ugly, UGLY!!!"

I confess, this little declaration left me speechless. But after a pregnant pause, all I could do was laugh. So for the rest of the night, my friends and I called each other "UGLY!!! Ugly, ugly, UGLY!!!" It was soooo hysterical, and said SO much more about the guy than it said about me!!!

Who's ugly?

Hang in there, sistah. His words mean nothing.

[Dianne042425]

Magrat - I am sorry my post brought back such a bad memory but thank you for sharing it with us. That is horrible for not only your boss to say, but someone who is older and should know better !! I can not believe you went on a 600 calorie/6 hour exercise diet because of that. It just goes to show you how effective your words can be to someone.

Bornthisway - I cant believe the guy actually admitted that to you!!! I just dont understand that kind of mentality. I really dont. Do they think because they are hitting our insecurities that we will want to hook up for their "approval". Absolutley not!

Raebear - Thanks for the story. I admire you and your friends for being able to turn it around and make something funny of it. Its times like that when you really can bond with friends - when they are there for you at UGLY times like that.

I realize most people that call people names are insecure themselves. I just have never been able to understand how people can make fun of other people's looks. Even as a young child I couldnt make fun of someone or talk about their looks. Its all the cards you get dealt by God and you have no control over that. So how do you dis someone or give someone props for their looks when its out of their control from the start (to an extent). It just mind boggles me.