Shifterred, you are definitely a Feather and

!
Like so many things, "embracing moderation" is much easier said than done!
When you say bingeing and starving, I don't know if by "binge" you mean, "Oops, ate a donut!" or a true binge. For more information, check out
this stickie on the Chicks in Control forum.
If you are truly bingeing and severely restricting or compulsively exercising, I would really suggest you seek counseling. These are real disorders and a professional would be the best person to guide you. (I certainly don't mean that you shouldn't come here for advice and support! This entire website is an excellent resource and the support and experience here are priceless. But none of that is a substitute for professional guidance as necessary.)
If that is not the case, and you're mostly having trouble staying on a reasonable eating plan, I have a few suggestions and I'm sure others have more:
1. Make sure you are eating healthfully with a reasonable balance of protein, carbs and fats. Of course, everyone has a different definition of "reasonable balance," but I am suspicious of anything that overly restricts fat, carb or protein. Likewise "healthfully." For me, this means a focus on whole foods and reducing things like white flour (white bread, regular pasta), processed foods, and processed sugar.
2. Plan, plan, plan. Overeating, mindless eating, never-ending snacking all occur, for me, when I don't have a plan. I find my best on-plan days are when I sit down the night before and plan my food for the next day. I entire it all on myplate (on the livestrong.com website) in advance.
You may find success channeling your extremism in a healthy way -- like planning your food for a whole week or doing extensive research to learn about the best foods for your body. However, if you find that once you plan food, your extremism makes it stressful/impossible for you to adapt to unforeseen circumstances or disruptions, maybe that's not so good.
Please do stay aware of how you are feeling as you go along. I read a post the other day where a girl said she was so obsessed with dieting and calories and food that she couldn't even talk to people. Please don't get to that kind of place.