The scale has consistently read 124.8 for the past week (except for a little fluctuation up to 125.6, but that went right down when the water drained out of me), so I think I can confidently say I've met my goal weight.
I thought it would feel like this:
But it actually feels like this:
I still don't feel thin. I know, cerebrally, when I see the number on the tape measure or zip up a pair of size 6 shorts at the mall, that I have reached my goal. But I don't feel it. Even though the image in the mirror is cute, it just won't sink in that I'm cute.
Obviously, this is a self esteem issue. I could lower my goal to 120, but I don't want to go down the path of ever-dieting-darkness. I want to learn to feel good about myself without relying on weight loss to distract myself from my real problems. My biggest fear is that this attitude will let me lapse into the sort of thinking that "All that work was for nothing, might as well eat a brownie." It's happened before. When I lost a ton of weight in high school, I was disappointed that my new figure didn't magically change my future and social life. So I binged it all back.
Has anyone met their goals (or come really close) and struggled with learning to appreciate the results even if you aren't as perfect as you hoped you would be?
tkm - I think I understand what you are feeling. It's kind of like, "Is this all there is?" We spend so long focused of those numbers - like they are going to make over our whole life. But when we reach that goal we are still who we were when we started the journey - just a thinner you.
I feel the same everytime the scale goes down - a moment of joy followed by a moment of panic. I think that this is a great topic for us to discuss. You are so much healthier - now what other parts of your life would you like to improve? Your work isn't over - maintainance will be a full time job.
This whole lifestyle process is a journey for life.
Way to go on reaching your goal. I can't break 127 - again!
I do know exactly how you feel, although officially I never stayed very long at my goal weight my own fault of course... Maybe, one of the reasons I didn't stay down is because I didn't see in the mirror the results of perfection I imagined I would see once at goal...
One thing that helps me is to have fitness goals, better time in running, lifting heavier, it helps take my mind off the scale...
This is good a discussion.
Last edited by Ilene; 05-07-2010 at 10:18 AM.
Reason: too many typos!
I wanted to chime in also. I hit my goal weight (within a pound) twice and though it felt incredible for about an hour. I just couldn't wrap my head around it and went right back up 5+ pounds. I was happy to get there, but then I guess for me I eased up because part of me figured I had "arrived" and the other part of me honestly was a little bummed that I wasn't "skinnier" or something more magical. I am a few pounds away again, so I'm trying to approach it more realistically this time. Here's hoping!
Excuse me while I gush...This is going to be a longish post.
I'm nearing goal and I have been looking in the mirror every day and saying nice things to my body.
I have a very small frame (size 5 ring finger, 5.5 inch wrists) and I can see that my body fat percentage is still high and I have more to lose. But I thank my body every day for tolerating the extra weight for so many years. I thank my knees for not giving out when I was running with 40 extra pounds.
Your body is a miracle that sustains your life. I'm 40 now and am so grateful that I don't have diabetes or heart disease. The abuse I have dealt to my body was extreme. For years, I lived on cigarettes, Doritos, McDonald's, and soda.
I measured my abdomen/belly fat today and it read 36 inches, which is now larger than my chest size (34 inches). I rubbed my belly and loved it, even the mild cellulite on it. I'm an apple shape & I don't mind anymore. I have learned to embrace it.
Sure, I'd like to lose a few more inches, but I am completely in love with my body now b/c it is so fit and flexible. And healthy. My body is truly my best friend because it always with me, no matter what.
I hope you can discovery how truly wonderful your body is, no matter the shape or size.
I've been at or close to my goal weight for most of my adult life. And my body still is not where I would like it to be. On my wedding day I was 116 lbs. I was working out hard 6 days a week. And I still had a pooch and my thighs were a bit flabby.
You have made tremendous changes to your lifestyle. You need to be proud of yourself and celebrate everything you have done. If you want to try to lsoe another 5 lbs., that's up to you. But there will always be parts of our bodies we're not happy with. We need to focus on what we love, and dress to show them off(as long as it's legal!).
I remember being at 128 lbs. and fighting to lose 5 lbs. and feeling enormous. For the last year I would have given anything to wake up and be 128 lbs. You don't know what you got til it's gone.
I cannot WAIT to get to goal and shop, and have clothes look good. I already see a tremendous difference, and most of my old clothes fit but I want new ones!
What do you have planned for yourself now that you're at goal? Shopping, a trip? Post again and tell us about it!
Hey, tkm! Congrats on hitting your goal! I totally understand how you feel because I'm really close to goal and when I look in the mirror, I see flabby thighs and pudge around the belly area. And it's not some warped vision I have, it's really pockets of fat that remain there. Way back at the beginning of my journey, I would've thought weighing 125 was absolutely it for me. Well, I'm still kinda pudgy at 125, and it's because I'm so short.
I've improved a lot, sure, but I thought I'd have less problem areas. There's no such thing as perfect, though. I'm aiming for better health, not perfection. But the reality is, I'll never wear a bikini (not that I ever really wanted to, I'm a mom for crying out loud) and I do not feel comfortable in shorts unless they are knee length, due to my flabby thighs.
I might adjust my goal downward about 5lbs or so, but honestly, the thighs will still be there in 5lbs.
Congrats to you for all your successes! You are not alone in feeling some disappointment about your looks after hitting your goal.
I have been thinking about this thread ever since yesterday.
There is no perfect. It is fun to buy that new tube of lipstick, new jar of beauty cream or new outfit --- but at the end of the day I am never going to look like the model in the magazine or the movie star.
And if we think being beautiful or rich would be the end of all our problems, just look at the people in Hollywood. Every night another one is in the news for messing up their lives. They have weight problems also.
As I am typing this Fox News is talking about a movie star that is eating 14 portions of baby food a day.
Think of all the people you love. Do you love them because they are thin and beautiful -- or do you love them because they are your friends and family and they love you?
If I ever reach 125, I will still be me. Will anyone love me more?
What will change is that I will be healthier and I will feel better about myself. How will that change my life? I hope that it will give me more quality time to enjoy my friends and family.
Being a happy, positive, giving person will win more friends than being thin.
motivated chickie-Let me just say thank you! Your post was ABSOUTELY what I needed to hear at this point in my "journey". I have gone between loving my new and WAY improved body at this healthy weight and struggling with wanting that "perfect" athletic body.
danni-Yes! The people who loves us don't love us for being 125 instead of 130. They love us for who we are and we are people who make healthy choices but slip up sometimes...beautiful in our imperfections!
It is a challenge within itself to settle at an appropriate weight not based on what others weigh or think we should weigh, but on being at a healthy weight (based on either waist measurement, BMI, body fat, etc.) that is sustainable for a lifetime.
This thread has been so helpful in me forming healthier ideas about where I should be and why. Thanks everyone for chiming in!!
Last edited by Ms Perception; 05-09-2010 at 10:05 AM.
Wow, what a great thread! First of all tkm, congrats on making your goal!
Second I was just thinking of this this morning while I was getting dressed. There is no way I will ever have the flat belly again. 2 wonderful kids made sure of that, I just need to learn how to be happy with the results I get! If I can go shopping and find clothes that fit nicely (without any bulges hanging out!) then hopefully I will be happy! I will likely never fit in a bikini again either, however I need to learn to be happy with what my body looks like now, and accept I will never be a supermodel, even if I won the lottery and got body sculpting I'm still too short
So this thread is really food for thought and I am thrilled to hear that even if I make my goal it is up to me to make myself happy, not the scale!
So I met my goal, but...
my own fault of course... Maybe, one of the reasons I didn't stay down is because I didn't see in the mirror the results of perfection I imagined I would see once at goal... 
