[Mudpie]

I'm having a "relapse" into old patterns - bingeing, drinking too much caffeine 'cause after the binge I don't sleep, then taking sleeping meds, etc.

The whole thing is being caused by three men having a very stressful influence on my life. They are people I have to deal with on a daily basis for two of them (DH and my dickhead of a neighbour Duncan) and at least twice a week for the third (the idiot formerly knows as my father Lem).

I can deal with them one at a time fine but all three at once are just taking me down.

Any tips for dealing with this situation (before I go up over 140 lbs again) would be much appreciated! Thanks gang!

Dagmar

[Lekhika]

I have very poor ways of dealing with stress. Either I lash out and am just a bitter, mean and horrid person to be around...or I stop eating. Neither very conducive to letting it out in a constructive manner. Lately I just exercise it out just push myself toward total exhaustion and then feel much better.

*hug*

I don't have any real tips...I hope that you find a way. Sucky stress inducing people suck!

[coldbrightday]

There are really only two things I can suggest -- first of all, if there's any way for you to compartmentalize the three stressors a bit, that might make a big difference. Just try to deal with one issue at a time, and while you're dealing with it, allow yourself to ignore the others. And when you DO deal with it, give yourself some props for getting through it. Then you can move on to the next thing.

And second, can you find an hour to just devote to yourself? Even if you just take a walk and then a nice bath. Something quiet and a little indulgent, without being full of calories.

I hope things get better soon!! In any event it's good that you're recognizing your "relapse", and that you're getting support here. Last month I totally let mine spiral out of control, stopped posting here, and gained 8 lbs. Blech. You're obviously taking the steps to nip it in the bud before that happens, so good for you!

[3fcuser1058250]

Mudpie I'm sorry to hear that you are going through this ...

One suggestion I would have is to take it one minute at a time live in the moment and deal with the moment .... Definitely take time for yourself daily, DAILY, meditate, walk, get out!! Yea, I know you do get out with your dogs, so enjoy your dogs...

When the binges come on think and grab something healthy... When the men in your life demand too much be selfish and think of yourself first by telling them calmly what your needs are...

Just suggestions Dagmar, I've never lived what you're living ... Best of luck, this too shall pass...

[Mudpie]

I keep trying to deal with these three men in a constructive positive way. I keep thinking I'm dealing with logical adults and treat them as such.

Today I realized that one of them (my father) is mentally ill. My neighbour is an alcoholic. And DH is a fairly rational man who keeps behaving like a 14 year old.

There is no way I can deal with the mentally ill one or substance abuser in a constructive way. It's not my fault that they are the way they are and I shouldn't punish myself for not being able to handle them. No one can. I will distance myself from them as much as I can to avoid being "collateral damage".

As for DH I will start to insist on being allowed some time for myself and I will keep pushing him to make decisions about our future and then stick to those decisions.

We are together for two more years. If I don't see any results from him them I will leave. I will save myself and myself only (and my cats of course).

There, I have a plan. That's another great thing I've learned from 3FC - always have a plan. If you stray from it go back to it the next day. That's what I'll do instead of eating my way back up to 147 lbs.

Dagmar (I have a plan)

[3fcuser1058250]

Sounds like a great plan Dagmar... Stick to it!