[thinnythighs]

i know. What is it about having kids that tells others we now have a license to be fat for the rest of our lives?

i don't think so.

[Fairy Sarah]

I feel ya People assume I have an eating disorder...I explain that more people in my family are overweight than healthy.

It odd cas Im only 19, but I already have eating habits that are healthy and I believe I can and will keep with me for the rest of my life. To alot of people the idea that I will NEVER EVER eat an upsized McDonalds Combo (or even a combo for that matter) again really gets to them. But I like it

My partners mum is the worst, she always asks him if Ive lost anymore weight, and watches how much I eat whenever Im there....admitedly I don't eat that much. But thats cas I DON'T NEED IT! Not cas Im anorexic or trying to look like Nicole Richie....

Gosh!

[Mudpie]

My DH is being funny when he says

"I want you to weigh 300 lbs. so no other man will look at you"

Or is he ? I think he would rather I was "frumpy" again rather than "sexy and curvelicious" (all quotes are direct from his mouth) but he can't really say that to me now can he ?

I think he's feeling very threatened because I'm in so much better shape than he is and I'm 5 years older!

I think most people feel threatened by change, even if it's positive. I don't discuss my weight loss with anyone. It's really none of their business.

I'm very fortunate in that I work outside so there is no desk to put the candies on or group lunch or free food (FREE FOOD - I'm in!) at work to derail my diet.

Dagmar

[justdoit37]

I had a friend who kept telling me be careful you don't want to loose to much. She would watch what I ate at work and tell me "is that all you are going to eat today?" I found out a few months later that she wasn't that great of a friend after all. I know now that she was try to sabotage my diet. You know when to start maintaining and not lose anymore.

[doubtingJulia]

I'm a little worried that once I reach my goal weight I won't want to stop and then I WILL end up like Nicole Riche.
Of course I'm getting way ahead of myself, this is only day 3 of my diet.

[frog0726]

Justdoit, that doesn't sound like a very nice friend! My best friend just lost 15-20 lbs and we've been very supportive of each other.

[ennay]

Originally Posted by thinnythighs

i know. What is it about having kids that tells others we now have a license to be fat for the rest of our lives?

i don't think so.

A license? how about an OBLIGATION to be fat. Seriously. I am still way bigger than my SIL, but my MIL thinks it is unhealthy for me to be this weight because I wasnt this weight before i had kids so it "is not natural"

[srmb60]

"Natural" ... I like that. It's sorta like how I used to think I was a sturdy flemish woman.

I think part of the key is change. We like that which is familiar. "Don't change anything, it makes me uncertain".

[Fairy Sarah]

Thats sucha good point

I have never been slim...well maybe when I was 2 years old? Always been justa bit chubby but never slim! Now Im finally heading somewhere towards slim and people are saying that I don't need to cas its not natural for me! Thing is I am NATURALLY petite! I have tiny wrists, a tiny waist and should be at the lighter end of my healthy weight range!

....But im scared if i do get to that everyone will think Im sick or something...

[LittleMoonRabbit]

Originally Posted by ennay

Harrumph...come live in my world! I've been told that exercise isnt good for you and also that the way I eat isnt healthy. Did you know that too many vegetables destroy your colon? Too hard to digest. And low fat is of course unhealthy (I somewhat agree...but I mean almonds and avocados and they mean butter and whole milk). Cows are the only source of protein and iron. Milk is the only source of calcium. And Sunny D IS a fruit. As is jello

Lets not get started on how I am destroying my heart, lungs, skeleton and joints by running.

OMG too funny!

yeah, before my wedding I told a bridesmaid I wanted to lose 30 lbs before my wedding (it never happened). Well, she was like "Why would you want to do that? Do you WANT to look like a slut when walking down the aisle???" And I was like... "huh??" What, because I am overweight that provents me from looking slutty? Or if I became thin, that would automatically make me slutty? I was astonished when she said this... and very puzzled. I can't help but wonder if it's just that I have always been the "big girl" in my group of friends, but now they have gained weight, and I wanted to lose? Not really sure. Interesting thread, though!

[Lovely]

I'm no featherweight so I'm seeing this from a slightly different perspective.

I've known a few of my friends who were on the slimmer side of the scale to constantly talk about their need to change their diet and lose weight. They were fishing for that "What? You look fantastic!" compliments. (In fact, they outright said so... and boy did I feel great as the fat friend telling someone they didn't need to lose weight Maybe they just wanted to rub it in my face, but I won't go there!) It became an automatic response to them. So, I know that for me, were I to say that, it's not to be insulting. I just figure someone needs to hear that they look nice.

I have a co-worker is also quite slender, and she follows WW, and we talk about it sometimes, because I, too, follow WW. She explained to me that she wasn't truly trying to lose weight so much as eat healthier, and she liked the balance she found at WW. Now that I could understand & relate to. So, we talk about health, not weight. (I could talk about nutrition & food all frickin' day long!)

I don't think minding our own business, and shedding a few unwanted pounds while getting healthier is anyone else's business. I'm surprised, and a little worried, that as I approach my goal area I'd get treated the same way. I've tried to replace my "Oh, but you look great" response when someone says "I need to lose weight" with simply "Oh?". They'll talk about it if they want to, and I can usually gauge whether they simply want to hear "You look good" or if they actually want to eat wiser & exercise.

What annoys me terribly is reading that some of you are told those "You look good... for being (insert age here/pregnant/having had kids)". Please. Those are terribly backhanded. If we think someone looks nice, can't we just say "Oh you look so nice!" and mean it?

Also, that people think losing weight is a purely cosmetic thing. Yes, slimming down is part of what I'm doing, but come on, I ENJOY eating healthier & exercising now. So, if I enjoy doing it now, when I need to lose quite a bit more, am I not going to continue to enjoy eating this way when I'm at goal? As if eating healthier & exercising are only for people who need to lose a lot of weight. There's nothing wrong with me now for refusing a slice of pizza, and there's going to be nothing wrong with me a year from now for refusing a slice of pizza.

[walking2lose]

Wow Faerie - You've made some outstanding points in your post! Well said!

[meldogml84]

I totally agree with all points across the board. Alot of friends will instantly say, "oh you look great, you don't need to lose weight". But in my opinion what else are they gonna say..."yeah you really need to"? that would be horrible!

As for people discouraging you in a maliscious manner thats just wrong! I have a friend who is a "all about me" type and she constantly nags at me for losing weight and the way I choose to do it. I work out 5-6 days a week and count calories and she says I am over doing it, and changes dont happen over night. Does she think I am an idiot? I have been working on this since the end of december and she is going to put in her two cents after I lost 15-20lbs, no thank you. She has an issue with the fact that she eats unhealthy, doesn't excersize and then at the end of the day wonders why she can't lose weight. I just write people off that are out to destroy you. I believe the phrase is "Misery Loves Company"

[Sarae878]

I see that all of you are basically in my weight range when you started your diets. How did you reach your goal? I started my diet on Jan 5 and have only lost 3lbs. I exercises 5-days per week. I figured it was going slow b/c I only had 20lbs to lose but this is ridiculous. I had 2 pieces of cake (on 2 separate occasions) and that is the only time I have slipped in 9 weeks.

[leah_0600]

I've read all the posts and i can't believe how much i can relate to a lot of them!! Especially the one about the friend trying to 'sabotage' your healthy eating plan. I live in a house with 3 girls and i've been eating healthily since i moved in here basically. I've known them for 2 years and they just can't get their heads around why i would possibly not want to eat CRAP like them! Just because i don't want takeaways every other day etc doesn't make me anorexic!

They'll study everything i eat, watch what i buy, see what i have in the cupboard, look at me in a discouraging way if i have a small dinner or a piece of toast etc (i eat 6 small meals a day, not 3 big ones!) and i just think 'i don't need this on top of trying to stay on plan'. but on the other hand i think 'right, this is going to motivate me to do the right thing, i know i'm making HEALTHY choices and that's worth more than anything!'.

It's just sad when you're made to feel bad about making the right decisions about healthy foods.