I used to fume and do the dishes - which is what he wanted all along. Left them. Went back this a.m. and they were done. I do sometimes learn after whacking my head on the brick wall about 200 times - same with dieting. Eventually I do change a habit or behaviour that just is not working.

Dagmar (cat cuddler extraordinaire )

P.S. nothing like a baby animal to cuddle - happiness in a little furry package.

I need to learn to do that! I can't stand waking up to a sink of dirty dishes but my SO will only do dishes that have "cured" in the sink for substantial period of time, at least overnight. So I end up doing them because I feel so much better going to be with a clean kitchen (plus we sometimes get ants if the dishes get left in the sink overnight). It drives me nuts--either way I lose; if I do the dishes I'm and if I don't do them, having them in the sink drives me . If I do the cooking and grocery shopping, I don't think I should have to do the dishes.

Also, when he does do the dishes, he always ALWAYS leaves one dish not done. It's like he has some sort of weird hang-up about having every single dish washed. There's always one pot or plate or something that he doesn't wash.

Dagmar~good for your for leaving the dishes!!!

Barbara~I know what you mean! Thankfully, my DH does the laundry so I don't mind doing the dishes. Well, not that I really "do" the dishes--I put everything in the dishwasher! I hate work! LOL. And don't get me started on ants......!

Always! He claims he "forgot" the dish. When I'm living at home we have the rule that whoever cooks (me 99% of the time) doesn't have to clean up/do dishes. He will do his part when I'm there.

And the laundry! He will "start" the laundry by putting in stuff to wash - and that's it! He has driven me to cookies many times.

Men! ARRRRGGGHH!!!

Dagmar

Your DH is threatened by your weight loss, he is worrying that you are losing the weight and he is staying heavy, that you will leave him when you are thin and he is not.

When you were both heavy - you were equals (in his mind), now somehow, you are superior and he won't be good enough for you anymore.

Craziness, if you left him it wouldn't be because he's overweight.

thingirl 26 lbs !!!

And have great fun on your trip! You'll have to report back on the Egypt one - I'm planning to go there eventually.

Dagmar

Gee,

My husband hands the worst dishes over to Finn the alpha dog, then runs 'em through the dishwasher. When I caught him at it, I finally understood why Finn had gained 18 pounds since we got married two years ago! Now we stick with IAMS...

cuppa

Dagmar, are we happily unmarried to the same man? My DH calls the unwashed dish a "starter" for next time. To which I respond, "are you cleaning, or making sourdough bread?"

And then there's the, "honey, where's ____?" bit, where ____ is yesterday's mail, the dog, the airline tickets, his passport, the house keys, the cat, the milk (gee, did you check in the refrigerator?), the car, his a**...

I'm being harsh. DH is a lovely person. Details just aren't his strong suit, unless they're about baseball statistics or important dates. (He's way better at remembering our anniversary than I am.)

On topic: Had a good workout in the gym. Seems to have chased away the blahs a bit. Will post more about it on my blog (link below) this evening.

Kim

LMAO

Dagmar

And I thought it bad because my DH grumps if I noticeably eat less than him at dinner (like 1 serving to his 2 and half)

My sympathies go out to you.

My dad is 82. I'm 50. He still says that "girls who are not married should live at home with their parents" and "a woman's greatest achievement should be to stay at home and raise her children".

I have been happily unmarried (thanks Kim) to the same guy for 13 years. and I've never had kids.

My dad and I have been at odds since I was 14 and announced that I wasn't going to piano lessons any more. First time I stood up to him about something I wanted to do with my life, rather than just follow what he dictated.

It's taken me 40 years to overcome the insecurities he instilled in me when I was a child. Many of those insecurities led me to eat/binge/drink excessively to repress my emotions about his treatment of me.

I just wish I had been able to "get over it" much much sooner. But I have now and I'm the person I wanat to be (except for that other 6 lbs )

We're off on the road trip til Monday night. Have a great weekend everyone!

Dagmar (still hiding from the fat fairy )

OMG, do NOT even get me started on some of the idiotic, bonehead, down right stupid things my DH has said to me. The worst of it is it's always when I'm fishing for a compliment and he *thinks* he's giving one. Argh...MEN!

I think I've finally started to not overeat when coping with stress.

Got quite the shock this morning when I opened the door to let the cats out at 5 a.m. (had to go let a dog out at 6 so was awake early). There was DH, sitting at the table on the patio, quite drunk and apparently not done yet. Glass of bourbon and ice still in hand he wandered in about half an hour later.

He and I had two rather strange exchanges, one in which he tried to pick a fight and the other in which he paid me a compliment (I think). I was brushing my teeth at the time and almost choked on the toothpaste

DH - "I'm so glad you're not a dimwit dear. All the dimwits get up at this time but you're not one of them". All said in a really earnest tone while blearily staring at me brushing.

He then wandered off to the bedroom and was snoring like a bear two minutes later . He is not normally a drinker at all during the week and has a couple of beers Friday and Saturday night so a whole bottle of bourbon is really weird for him. He is facing a really big situation at work and this is the cause of this but it's still quite stressful for me.

I would normally sulk all day about our ruined plans and start eating in the afternoon to supress the anger and reduce my frustration. I'm going to go to the beach and take a nice stroll on the boardwalk instead, maybe get one of those lower cal ice smoothie things. Tonite I'm going to proceed as planned but without DH. I will take myself out to a nice restaurant for dinner, my treat for working all weekend at really inconvenient hours.

DH can see to his own dinner and hangover . No need to nag 'cause his self-inflicted suffering will be quite bad enough.

Dagmar

Sounds exactly like my husband.
Men don't think at all before they speak.

I think weight loss is directly related to the routines and habits we have in our daily lives. The one single habit that caused me to overeat the most times was watching something boring on TV.

I have broken that habit in order to lose weight. I keep encouraging my DH to do the same but he's just not coming around. And he keeps wanting me to join him in front of the set. I cancelled our cable but now he's just renting/buying DVD's.

Whenever I suggest something different he says yes but then sabotages whatever we're supposed to do instead.

I really don't want/can't afford to leave. But I can't seem to motivate him to do anything else on the weekends except drinking, overeating, and watching the TV. And he blames me for this behaviour. I'm getting really frustrated. And I'm slipping back into sitting in front of the TV eating (like I did last night).

Thanks for letting me vent.

Dagmar