This weekend (and its many food-related indiscretions) made me really think about my progress, my weight loss goals, and my plan in general. I decided it is time to recommit.
A few things I realized:
- On a positive note, I've been really good with exercise.
I only have one week left of C25K, and I've been really pleased with my progress. Along with this, I've been doing other cardio (Turbo Jam and the elliptical) and adding strength training and yoga. I could stand to be a bit more diligent and really nail down the perfect routine, but I'm still working at it and have been consistent.
- Even though I'm fairly content with my body, I DO want to lose weight.
I am not as happy with my body as I could be, and I have big dreams: the clothes I can wear in the future, an improved fitness level, and higher confidence! While I might be at a healthy weight in the eyes of many people, I want better for myself. Achieving my goals means I must work harder, even if it's easier to keep up with old habits.
- My diet would not be so terrible if I could just stay away from candy, ice cream, desserts, and over-eating in general.
Sure, my meals are not always great -- portions might be a bit too large, too much red meat, not enough veggies, etc. (I am going to trick myself into smaller portions by always eating off a plate (or out of bowl) and using smaller-sized plates and bowls.)
But the real problem is my sweet tooth. I can eat well all day, then succumb to cookies, chocolate, and ice cream -- all in one night. Admittedly, I do this OFTEN, and I'm just lucky that my young metabolism is fast enough right now that I don't gain weight. But in needs to stop.
While I'm at it, I also need to stop the constant nibbling, which usually happens at restaurants or someone else's home when they put out hors d'oeurves. I'm pretty good about this at home, but when I'm out -- I'll be always reaching for another appetizer, another cracker and cheese, etc. It's a "control" problem, and it must end.
I think that if I can get these two areas -- sweets/desserts and appetizers -- under control, it will be much easier for me to streamline the remainder of my diet (which is pretty decent in the big picture).
- I need to keep counting calories and tracking on FitDay.
Tracking what I eat makes me less likely to fall into the traps above. But I need to do it consistently and, aside from my "cheat meals" (described below), I need to record EVERYTHING. I am too quick to say, "Oh, I just ate a hot dog, candy bar, and huge bowl of ice cream, so I'm just not going to record all that today." I need to record accurately so that I know how many calories I am consuming on my off-plan days!! Hopefully, that reality shock will help me realize how damaging it is for me to have binges like this and help me to stop.
- DH is a bad influence on me, but it's not his fault.
As I've alluded to before, I commute during the week and spend three days away from home each week. I usually keep my eating very good during these days unless my roommate/SIL makes a big meal or we go out to eat. But then I come home on Thursday nights, and I eat whatever I want (usually lots of sweets and big meals!) through the entire weekend.
While DH contributes (by keeping sweets in the house, planning big meals out, etc.), it's not completely his fault. It's like I use the fact that I'm home as permission to binge on a bunch of junk -- the strangest thing, really. My commuting ends after this week (thankfully!!), so I need to learn how to eat well ALL THE TIME, whether I'm with DH or not.
To resolve this, we've talked about a few compromises. First, he's promised to stop bringing home sweets that I enjoy. Second, he's totally fine with changes to things like whole grains, reduced fat cheese, etc. He's also willing to make less fattening meals for dinner -- he is the cook in the family.
In addition, I am going to allow myself one "cheat meal" per week where I am allowed to have a big meal out at a restaurant. (For other restaurant meals -- of which there are many -- I will stay as closely on plan as possible.) It is going to be a struggle to not let my cheat meal turn into a "cheat day (or weekend)" but changes like this are always a challenge!
Wow, typing all that was incredibly therapeutic, and I appreciate anyone who got to the end. Your support and help is unbelievable!!
My NEW plan and re-evaluation -- Comments MUCH appreciated!!
I fell off the wagon over the Easter weekend and my weight (some salt bloat) went up to 152...higher than when I started! I was 148.2 when I weighed this morning....I need to go to the grocery store and didn't have any healthy choices for breakfast that I wanted...ended up eating a chocolate chip cookie and some coffee! Just the usual pitfalls!
