I was going to post this on the "looking good" forum but thought it might be better here.
I started going to a gym for workout classes and am easily the largest person in most of my classes by 50lbs. It's humiliating and humbling at the same time. The mirrors I swear multiply my size, I wish I could spray paint them black or at least wear sunglasses so I can't see my true reflection.
I hate to see any flab on my body so I have been wearing yoga pants and long sleeve tshirts to hide my skin. But it's so so so hot. I will not wear a regular short sleeve tshirt as my arms are so big and flabby. My legs are like 2 tree stumps so I can't really do shorts.
Is there such a thing as a fashionable plus size workout outfit? I wish I could wear my spanx under my workout clothes but I do believe I would die from a heatstroke.
I hope it doesn't take forever to get a little bit in shape where I don't want to just die of embarrassment for much longer.
Don't overthink it, just wear a t-shirt. I know it feels scary to feel like you look different than the other girls but they're all feeling like that in some way too. We all feel it. But we waste too much time focusing on our outside appearance and not nearly enough time focusing on liking ourselves the way we are. Being constantly disappointed with your appearance is not an act of love or care for yourself.
This is a great blog post from Geneen Roth, about self-loathing. I'm not implying that you loathe yourself, but it's a good read about our own perception of ourselves.
"By Geneen Roth
Last month, as I was walking along a beach in Monterey, CA, I came upon a lone seagull making a huge amount of noise. Then I noticed that he was standing beside another gull – a dead one – and I thought, Oh, he’s crying seagull tears because he lost his mate. His cherished partner. The love of his life. Maybe gulls are like swans; maybe they mate for life and when they lose their one and only, they are bereft, desolate, inconsolable.
So I stood there saying soothing birdy things to him as tears rolled down my cheeks. Love is so challenging, I thought. It turns you inside out, breaks your heart, leaves you alone on a deserted beach at 6 A.M., crying. As I stood there weeping loudly for love, for the gull, for me, I couldn’t help but notice that when other gulls approached, the grieving gull cried even louder. How protective he is of his love, I thought. How kind he must have been to her when she was alive. But then I noticed one tiny bit of behavior that, in the unfolding drama, I had been ignoring: The desolate gull was eating the supposed love of his life. Eating her! I realized then that his shrieking was not about his sadness but about his belligerence. What a bum, I thought, as I stalked away.
From cherished spouse to cannibal louse in one split second – and nothing had changed about the gull’s behavior. Nothing objective, nothing external, nothing real was any different from one moment to the next. All that had changed was my interpretation of what he was doing.
What does that have to do with emotional eating? Everything.
Years ago, my friend Kai was walking down a street feeling rather cheeky about herself, her svelte curves, her flat stomach. Gazing at her reflection in the store windows, she felt proud of her body, happy to be herself. So happy that for lunch that day, she treated herself to french fries with her turkey sandwich. She even ate dessert. Then she went back to the doctor’s office where she worked and decided to weigh herself. To her horror, she’d gained six pounds in a month, and suddenly, all those kind, loving feelings she was having about her stomach, her thighs, her life turned into disaster scenarios.
Oh no, she thought. I am out of control and I don’t even know it. I can’t even trust myself to know when I am feeling good and when I’m not. When my body is at its natural weight and when it’s busting apart at the seams. I have to diet immediately!
The next day, when she walked into work, the doctor told her he’d discovered that the office scale was off by seven pounds. Which meant, of course, that not only had Kai not gained six pounds, she’d actually lost a pound. And suddenly, she felt fabulous again. From fabulous to horrible to fabulous and nothing external had changed except her interpretation of a number on a scale.
There are two take-home messages from these stories: One of them, the easiest one, is to throw out your scales. “Gulp” you say. “I can’t. How will I know what I weigh?” The same way that Kai knew. Because it’s your body. Because you live in it. Because you know how you feel in it. Because your clothes feel different when you are different weights. You don’t need a lifeless piece of machinery to tell you whether you are allowed to have a good day or a bad day, whether you are allowed to feel proud or ashamed of yourself. You get to decide. It seems to be built into the weight-loss drama that a high number of the scale translates to misery and a low number on the scale translates to euphoria, so a first step to self-worth is to stop engaging in what makes you feel bad.
But throwing out your scale doesn’t address the root of the problem — the mistaken way we interpret events. And that brings us to the second take home lesson: We must recognize when our behavior, thoughts, and feelings are utterly determined by our interpretations of what we see.
Most of the time, we are telling ourselves fantasies and then acting as if those fantasies were true. Most of the time, we are so caught up in believing that our interpretation of reality is fact that we don’t even realize it’s an interpretation.
Consider how different your life would be if you altered your interpretations. Consider how you feel when you look at your thighs. They are just thighs. Made of flesh and bone and muscle and — sigh — fat. In the split second between when you look at them and what you end up feeling about them, you’ve interpreted what you’ve seen, judged it, and created a negative self-image that you then swear is The Truth.
The real truth is that all self-loathing is an interpretation. All reactions to your body size are interpretations. All worrying is an interpretation. Every time you lapse into feeling worthless or fat or wrong, every time you imagine disaster scenarios and then you get yourself worked up about the horrible outcomes, you are interpreting a set of circumstances, twisting them in a particular way, and reacting to the way you twisted them, not to the way things actually are. It’s not that bad things don’t happen. It’s not that carrying excess weight doesn’t burden your joints or keep you from fitting into skinny clothes in the back of your closet. It’s just that when you interpret reality according to your fantasy, you get so worked up and so frantic that you are less capable of seeing clearly and dealing with objective facts. The next time you find yourself sloshing around in the melodrama of your life, reel yourself back to reality by asking yourself three questions:
. What are the facts of this particular situation?
. What is my interpretation of those facts?
. What am I feeling that is based on my interpretation – rather than on what actually happened?
If necessary, ask a trusted friend or family member to help you determine what’s true and what’s a figment of your imagination.
You will soon discover that most of your feelings are based not on the facts, but on how you’ve interpreted the facts. And what a blessing it is to discover that your anguish is self-created! Because when you begin discerning fact from fantasy, your life becomes lighter, freer. You’re less likely to allow emotions to lure you to the kitchen where ice cream, cookies, or a bag of cheesy chips is calling your name, because that crazy tsunami of dark feelings just won’t be there. You’ll no longer live at the mercy of the numbers on a scale or the drama they inspire you to stage in your head. Instead, you’ll be able to stop overeating and take more pleasure in food, because there will be no bad feelings to stuff.
when i work out, i am focused solely on myself and what my body is doing....in fact, i don't like group classes because there i'm focused on trying to copy the instructor, or keep up with the group, or stay in beat to the music etc etc etc....i work out by myself at the gym and that's much better...
i wear whatever is most efficient for me in terms of movement, comfort etc...sometimes i wear an old t-shirt, sometimes i wear a new sports top...whatever i wear has to be fairly fitted because i can't stand material in the way of what i'm doing, or rubbing oddly on me...
right now i'm wearing tight black capri running pants to the gym, a good pair of running shoes and an old blue t-shirt because i'm cheap and didn't want to buy an expensive new sports shirt...my old shirt just became too gross to wear, where not even good washings was getting the grime and sweat out (bleck!)
i'm there at the gym for myself...it's MY ONLY TIME to focus on myself with no work, no kids, no anything else to distract me....and i frankly don't care what anyone thinks of my workout or what i'm wearing to do it....and really, i doubt anyone is watching me enough to really care anyhow
You know what most people will see you at the gym and if they even notice you, because they are really focused on themselves, 90% will think good on her, 10% might have other thoughts but then they are like the class bully, who cares what they think?
If you are hot and uncomfortable for goodness sake wear the damn tshirt! I am sure you're forearms are not going to have others running from the gym! Maybe take this as an opportunity to slowly start accepting and even liking your body and work your way up to wearing a tshirt and shorts ;-) or dare I say it a swimming suit!
You are at the gym to change, your body can get you through the workouts, give it clothes that it physically is comfortable in and are appropriate for the job and your performance will increase.
And good job for going to the gym when you feel uncomfortable. Just remember the best things happen when we are operating outside our comfort level.
I remember being in the same exact situation. The clothes I wore initially were quite baggy and hot. Thick long sweats and a thicker T-shirt, albeit short sleeved. After losing a sizable chunk I made it into some better workout clothes I already had in the closet: sports T-shirts and exersize capri length pants.
There are a ton of workout clothes at the thrift store if you want to find something more comfortable. I check plus and athletic wear in both men's and women's. The clothes are expensive new and I don't plan on staying in the same size long...yet.
I found very large yoga pants, put two darts in the back to bring in the waist and now can move at the gym. My pants stretch and so can I!!!
Any shirt does me, I agree I don't want it flapping, but want to be able to think about what I am doing, not if it will interfere.
Enjoy working out! Forget about everything and enjoy. I'm delighted I found a gym near home and that I can afford to go. At 225, on a body that was 112 when I got married, I'm seriously overweight but refuse to let any thoughts about another's opinion ruin my day!
I should start out saying, I'm pretty much a cardio girl, I have used dumbells and machines in the past, but I usually end up on the treadmill or bike, so my clothes are geared towards that.
I've always tried to wear something that will not cause me problems with future workouts, I have had problems with chafing, I'll never, ever have a thigh gap, so I'm very careful about the pants I wear, making sure they fit well.
I've also noticed if the shirt I wear is too big I'll have a similar problem in my arm area.
As love2garden mentioned above, I don't want to worry about my clothes interfering with the workout.
I'm proud of you for getting out and going to the gym, think of this as your before, stick with it, you'll do great!
TheLastStraw please don't worry about your size even though you feel uncomfortable, most if not all are focused on THEMSELVES while they're working out and probably trying to do it true to form and focus and you are probably just admired for doing something for yourself, and wear whatever is comfortable, soon before you know it you will be at your goal but you have to give yourself some love in the meantime
Since i'm at goal i wear things that make me look and feel great working out, nice W/O clothes are a huge motivator although i only have 2 pair of capris and shorts and a few snug T shirts (with a pocket for my ipod), wish i had $$ to go splurge although there are only so many outfits to buy LOL but as you go down, buy W/O clothes that make you feel great, it really is a motivator.
Last edited by 3fcuser291505109; 11-04-2014 at 08:37 PM.
Thanks everyone. I know no one looks twice at me but I'm still self conscious of myself. And of course the instructors are all buff, beautiful women and men teaching us to be healthy and active. I just feel foolish but I already paid and don't want the money to go to waste.
I hope I see results sooner or later. I look the reddest and sweatiest when we are done.
I wouldn't care so much but I gained this 60lbs in 6 months. Just over 6 months ago I looked almost like anyone else even though I was in the 180s.
I read all of your replies over and over. They mean so much to me.
I'm sure you know that weight loss is as much a mental battle as a physical one. Maybe you can slowly work on the mental part by focusing on clothing that is comfortable for you rather than what looks "good".
At any rate, regardless of the style, look for clothing that is made of wicking material so that you will stay cooler even if you're wearing long sleeves. Target sells the Champion line at a pretty good price and I believe they go up to XXL. Kohl's has a decent selection, too, but I'm not sure what size they go up to.
The thing that helped me the most in terms of cooling me down was switching from cotton shirts to "performance" shirts. I used to be just as self-conscious as you. I would wear a tank top under a tshirt (all cotton) because I was embarrassed by my sweat, and I was trying to slim my belly down with the tank. BUT IT WAS HOT!
So yeah, now I wear some sort of performance material top with similar bottoms, be it capris or even leggings. The leggings took a long time to get used to and I still think I look silly in them, but they are comfy and cool (they are Umbro running leggings).
I've always had what i call my gym/workout-in-public uniform and it's been more or less the same whether I'm 250 lbs or 152 lbs.
Short-sleeved t-shirt, never the girl t-shirts with the short capped sleeves! I go to Footlocker and buy those Men's 4 for 20 t-shirts. I don't wear them anywhere else but to workout. At my heaviest, i worked out in a XXL and at my lightest, a S or M. I don't buy them fitted but i also don't buy them oversized. I like the men's t-shirts because the short sleeves are a reasonable length AND the t-shirts cover my butt and so I'm not so self-conscious wearing leggings.
On the bottom, I wear leggings or sweatpants. If I'm wearing sweatpants, it's NEVER the nice, flared yoga pants-like sweatpants, no it's the unflattering kind with the elastic at the ankle because otherwise, i find the hem flops every which way and just generally gets in the way.
When i got to goal, i got gifted the fitted, lycra fancy workout gear and ive only ever worn the bottoms to the gym with one of my Men's Footlocker tees. I wore the fitted top at home to workout though.
My workout time is too short to feel self-conscious even knowing better.
Toastedsmoke, sure agree that the girl t-shirts are to be left at the store. The sleeves would be better left off. I've always gone for the men's shirts that wick away sweat. Only have one, but it dries quickly.
I'm short, so when I hemmed the yoga pants there was no flair left in them. The waist needed the darts I sewed in, then all fit fine. Not the best job sewing, but the pants are comfortable and I forge I'm even wearing them.
What do you wear working out?
