So many problems - help needed please! - 3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community

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Old 06-26-2009, 12:23 PM   #1  
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Default So many problems - help needed please!

I started losing weight in January and by the time it got to April I had lost over 50 pounds and was feeling quite positive. Around the time of my birthday (in april) after having a few 'days off' to celebrate I woke through the night with the most intense pain I had ever felt and ended up in hospital. Within about half an hour of being admitted they realised I was pregnant and moved me to the maternity ward. This was the biggest shock of my life and on hearing the news I started vomitting and didnt stop for several hours. I was extremeley distressed and just desperate to get out of hospital. I dont wish to be too personal but issues I have around sexual abuse in my childhood have meant I have never considered having children and I am almost phobic about strangers touching me - so hospitals or anything medical are not things I deal with well. I had the pregnacy terminated which many people will judge me for but I felt I could not have coped at all. After the termination the pain went away as I expected it to.
A month later after going out for dinner the pain came back, it was very intense, I was very sick and too scared to tell anyone. This week the pain came back again and I had to tell my husband as I was vomitting eveywhere and clearly unwell. I went to the doctors (which was a massive step for me) and he said it is likely the pain was nothing to do with the pregnancy and likely to be gall stones and I will need to have my gall bladder removed. I am scared to death of having surgery and staying in hospital. I feel tremendous guilt that I just associated the pain with the pregnancy and that my husband believed that too. I really dont want another ultra sound scan as I cant really let myself think about the events of the last few weeks. I know that the pain comes after having a proper meal so have been just having cereal mainly for the last few weeks for fear of the pain coming back and having to do somehting about it. I really wanted to lose a lot of weight this year and thought I was doing well but now I find out gall stones are often triggered by sudden weight loss - it seems so unfair! My husband who went on and on at me to lose weight in the first place just thinks it's my fault for trying to hard to lose weight!! I think I'm going mad. Any advice about the many things I have listed would be greatly appreciated! Sorry for such a long rambling post. I read the forums really regulary but rarely have the courage to post, but I just cant talk to anyone about this.
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Old 06-26-2009, 12:40 PM   #2  
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First off, let me say how strong you are for surviving the abuse and trying to have a healthy, productive life. Those wounds are very difficult to get past. It sounds like you still have some related issues, and I hope you'll get some help dealing with them. Gall bladder removal is not nearly as awful as it once was. I don't know how they're doing it in your neck of the woods, but over here it's usually done on an outpatient basis laparascopically. There's always a risk of complications, and your doctor should inform you of the risks. I can understand why you associated the pain with the pregnancy. While I don't condone abortion, I also don't think people who don't want children should be forced to have them and would never judge you for your decision. Only you walk in your shoes. I'm sure your husband is going through his own issues involving your illness and the terminated pregnancy. I would just try to keep the lines of communication open, and don't be afraid to face tough issues. I know you don't like doctors and hospitals, but I hope you'll have this taken care of soon so you can get back to your life. Good luck to you and your husband.

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Old 06-26-2009, 12:42 PM   #3  
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I'm sorry you are going through this- it's totally wrong of your husband to talk to you the way he is. He should be supporting you- not pointing the finger. I know if I were in your shoes I'd say "hey when we got married we promised to support each other, I need support from you, not anger and harsh words..."

All I can say is my friend had gall bladder surgery and is totally fine- she just has to be careful eating greasy foods, but other than that she doesn't really have any issues.

It'll be okay *hugz*
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Old 06-26-2009, 04:18 PM   #4  
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Gall bladder will only get worse. It is an OP surgery so you don't have to stay there. Are you getting theraphy for your issues?

Your husband is probably inwardly mourning the loss of his child. I couldn't have children and have always felt like a failure.

Safe weight loss is 1-2 pounds a week, but at your starting weight you will lose more so I don't think you were loosing too fast.
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Old 06-29-2009, 10:24 PM   #5  
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Gall bladder surgery isn't nearly the ordeal it used to be when my g-mothers had theirs removed. My mother, when she had her surgery, went in that morning and I picked her up that same evening and she made out fine.

I would encourage you to open up to someone about all of your other issues. I'm sure it would be difficult at first but when you are ready you really should consider finding a professional to talk to. Of course, until you are ready, you do have your online support group.

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Old 06-29-2009, 10:41 PM   #6  
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Hi there.

SECOND: if you need your gall bladder out, this is a medical necessity. I've had mine out and with respect to surgery time and pain, it was easy-peasy.
THIRD: You really, really need to find a counsellor to work through your issues. They haven't gone away on their own. And things generally won't get better. Counsellors/therapists are non-judgemental and supportive. You need to do this for your health. And if not for YOU at first, do this for your DH. He needs you healthy and strong. Please seek help -- you CAN heal these wounds, but you need to have help to do this.


Last edited by kiramira; 06-29-2009 at 10:42 PM.
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Old 06-29-2009, 11:13 PM   #7  
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I can give you advice on the gallbladder issue.I had mine removed in april.It was uncomfortable postoperatively but not unbearable.I was off work for 2 weeks after.Scars are small and fade quickly.I know some people that returned to work within a few days.The abortion was a choice you made based on what you thought(and your spouse I would guess) was best for you current life situation.But I am sure that people in your situation still struggle with feelings of guilt.Please be kind to yourself.Talk to a professional or a good friend.Hang in there.
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Old 06-30-2009, 05:20 AM   #8  
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Thank you so much everyone. Your kindness made me cry! I really appreciate the support especially the reassurances about the op. The pain came back over the weekend and was the worse it has ever been despite the fact I had eaten nothing at all and just had water. I had the emergency doctor out and they gave me some buscopan and anti sickness tablets. My own doctor gave me tests for liver, kidneys and blood count and I am waiting for the results and the ultrasound. My exposure to doctors wasn't as bad as I feared and after the pain I was in over the weekend I just cant wait to get the thing out!!! I am still scared and I'm worried if I would be able to have the keyhole surgery (laparascopically) beacuase of my weight. Does anyone know if this is the case? Thank you so much, I cant tell you how much it means to have been able to tell people and get support.
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