Quick flyby as I head to bed. I'll be back in the morning. Good day here.

Weight down a smidge and BGL still good at 4.7. Realized yesterday that I AM getting into better shape as I was able to work for two hours straight in the garden, digging and weeding the wild area. Last year I could barely do a half hour! More of that on the agenda for today.

Ruthie So glad things are getting better for you. It is good you can see and feel the progress. I'm going to have to work harder at getting into better shape.

DSIL is off work today. Ticked DH because I was in ready to go to bed early and he came in and asked me "Did you know Richard doesn't work tomorrow?" I said, "No, no one ever told me. I was told that he was working Thurs, Fri, Sat and Sun". Made Tony mad because he realized they weren't going to tell me. I wouldn't know it now if Tony hadn't asked him. I told Tony that it is his daughter and it is his place to say something to her.

I woke up early this morning so I brought my laptop in here and so I can be on it without having to babysit. Tony told them way back when they 1st came here that I am not babysitting when one or both of them are home. The oldest DGD only wants to be on computer in chatrooms, on you tube or sleeping... very lazy. I've started getting firm with the children. I told Tony... what are they going to do, get mad and move? I have no control over adults, but I do have control of some things that concern me personally and especially when it comes to the kids. I finally told them yesterday that it is not my responsibility to clean up and pick up after them. She will not do her "one" chore unless I go into their room and make her go do it which I had to do at 2am this morning. So I told her that if I had to tell her one more time to do her chore that I am packing up my desktop computer which I chose to let them use when they moved in and I am putting it in storage until they move. She has lived here for almost a year and if she cannot fulfill the one chore that I've assigned to her, then she will no longer have the privilege of using my computer. I'm really trying not to say much to DH lately because I notice that when I'm quiet, that he is starting to say things to me. Example, noticing they don't have the decency to tell me DSIL is off today. I don't remember what was going on the other night, but suddenly DH said "You know they have a lot of nerve. They really have it pretty easy. They sit upstairs and so whatever they want to do and pay nothing to live here and we are the ones who take care of their kids." He has a temper which I've only seen it a few times, but his DD knows he has it because it was one of the 1st things his mother warned me about. So I can see that it is taking it's toll and stirring up underneath and if I stay out of it, he will finally take care of it himself. DSIL is making a trip to FL next month to go to a wedding and see his son and he can't take care of his family here... we are the ones taking care of them. I don't think that is setting well with DH. He is already making little statements to his grandkids... I figure it won't be long until he has a lot to say to DD & DSIL.

Not sure what is happening today. DH talked about us going to NC. I put a thought in his head that I sure would love to go somewhere just the 2 of us for just a couple of days. He wants to go see his DS and grands in IN, but I don't see how we could be gone that long since there would be no one to take care of the kids. So it will be interesting to see how this all plays out. Life is interesting to say the least.

Y'all have a great day.

Everything here is going good sorry have not been able to write for a few days but been busy watching the baby. So I went on a walk this afternoon it was only a mile but I think I am going to go for a bike ride later when it cools off. hubby had to take it back and exchange it cause something was wrong with the wheel. I think I am going to go and take me a nap for a while r jest read my book for a while. More later..

Rie- I am going to start making plans even on my own and leave everyone to their own thing. 18 yr old got mad at me today because I was trying to get the living room cooled down. And we had words. When he returned and apologized, I let loose on him and hubby and I'm not sure who else was around. I feel bad because I want to be a Christian example about everything and yet, I feel I have to demand some respect.

I let them know that I had places to go and things I'm going to start doing with friends. Told DGS that he can start taking care of the baby and his sisters because I'm going to start going out to eat and doing things with my friends. I have friends who are always wanting me to do something with them but I don't do it because I'm busy babysitting. After telling them how I felt, I also let them know if they couldn't treat me with the respect that I deserve that I can move out and go where there are people who will because they obviously don't deserve me and all I do for them. Women in my church told DD when they met her that she was really blessed because they sure wouldn't/couldn't let their kids move in with them with or without their kids. I don't know if I was right or wrong, only know it just got to the point that I couldn't take it any more. I just don't think a person should be treated so disrespectfully in their own home.

DH asked DGS if DSIL is working tomorrow? We were told that he is. However, I knew I heard DD tell therapist the other day that she is off. So I asked and sure enough, she has no class tomorrow. I was a little nicer to her, but I let her know that I don't appreciate the fact that no one bothered to tell me Richard was off today. I asked her, "Was anyone going to even bother to tell me that she is off tomorrow?" I told her they need to start letting me know when he is working and when he isn't. I've decided that if they can't have the decency to tell me then they better get a babysitter, because it isn't going to be me.

I'm going to stay and keep trying to make things work here but I have made up my mind that I'm not going to be walked on any more. Life is too short to live what is left of it this way. Already told DH that I have plans tomorrow, but don't have a time yet. I know him. When he has to get up and do all that I do because I'm gone; he will feel just like I do and then he just might make some demands himself.

Eating has been great today. Haven't really been very hungry. I think I've dropped another lb. and fbswas a lot better this morning. Will see if it stays here until Sunday or Monday before changing ticker.

Good Morning Ladies

DH and I talked and he doesn't want me to leave but doesn't know what to do about his kids. I can understand that one. I reminded him that if I do leave that he will have to sell the house because half is mine. I gave up everything I had and he spent every dime I got from my home which wasn't much. So I'm not leaving. I'm going to try. However, I am taking control of "my life". I got up this morning and everything was a mess in my living room and kitchen and the message I got loud and clear is they don't intend to change anything. That is fine and that is their choice. I have a choice as well.

My previous hubby's Mother taught me a "whole" lot. She always knew her hubby was unfaithful, but couldn't prove it. One day she got her proof. He would go off for days even weeks. I tried to get her to leave him and she told me... "I'm not going to leave and let some other woman have half of what I've worked for all these years". Besides he was sick and found out that he had cancer and she said that it would be wrong for her to leave while he was sick. She stayed with him and rode it out with him but I later learned that she never "lived" with him as a husband once she knew that the woman he brought into their home as a friend was his lover. When he died, she was left with enough money to live comfortably the rest of her life.

So I told hubby that I love him and I want this marriage to work, but I'm not doing everything any more. I am going to "have" a life. DD is home and I'm doing my laundry and the few things I need to do. Then I'm going to go walk around at Wal-Mart and maybe the $ store. I've got to get to moving around more. I've decided that if everyone is going to waste money, they aren't going to waste mine. I'm going to make an appointment to see the doc, but still may wait until August as I'm doing some new things that I think will improve my health #s. I have a couple of friends who have been asking me to join the Y with them and start exercising. I've said I couldn't afford it, but maybe it is one of those things that I can't afford NOT to do. So I'm going to make arrangements to do that next week with one of them. Another friend has been wanting me to join the Eastern Stars and I think I'm going to do that to. I need a life and I need an active life and I'm going to take it. I just might even lose weight and get healthy at the same time.

DH says all this is making him sick again. If he is willing to sit here and let them drain him financially and ruin his health in the process because he hasn't got what it takes to at least talk to them, then that is his choice. However, my choice is that I want to live and I want to live healthy. If I'm going to end up a widow again because he won't fight for his, then I've got to do what I've got to do.

Thanks for letting me sound off.

Checking in late after gym and running around the county for banking, groceries and dropping things off at the schools. Just has a delicious lunch of Greek yogurt and strawberries and am going to get started on the pies I need for tomorrow's fish fry. If I get them done today, I can garden in the early morning cool when Donna comes to clean for me. I've been using the fake knee a lot while digging in the wild area and it crabbed a lot when I was treading the mill this morning.

Just got a call inviting me for BBQ ribs tonight and I refused! I think a good fairy has inhabited my brain!

Trish, good for you in standing up for yourself. I know you are very spiritual and understand that respecting yourself and your needs is essential to being a good person. Do join the Y and the Eastern Star! Maybe your DH will stand up on his hind legs and deal with the kids who really should be HIS problem, not yours.

Now I'll shut up!

Thanks guys for the support and suggestions. Yes, I am going to do it all. I lay in bed this morning and remembered a time in my life, I was about 46 yrs old, when I closed down emotionally to the point that I was so afraid of EVERYTHING. One day I woke up and realized that I was afraid to even get in the car and drive up to the bank drive thru window. I didn't know why but I was terrified of just doing a bank transaction. And I couldn't believe that I was gripped with such fear. I was never that kind of a person, instead I've always been the one who was out going not really afraid of anything. I was the one who would go out side to see what the noise was that I heard. Well as soon as I realized what I was feeling, I got dressed and started getting out of the house and the first place I went was to the bank. Not long after that I went to work in a day care and from there went to work as an office manager in a car wash that a friend of mine owned.

When I met DH and decided to marry him, I worked 2 jobs, taught a youth class at church and a friend and I had a small band and we went to nursing homes and sang for them besides all my other activities in the singles group. So I don't know when I became that "scared" person again, but this morning I realized that somehow I have allowed myself to get back into that fear again. I'm not going to go back to being that fearful life. So I called my friend and went by the shop to get an Avon catalog and then went to Wal-Mart. Didn't need much but just needed to walk around and be active. My friend told me that she is going to pick up guest passes for me for next week for the Y. She is already a memeber. We plan to go next week. She said they have water aroebics at the Y in Ft. Mill not far from here and wants to go. I can't swim but have always wanted to do water aroebics. Who knows, I might even get healthy enough to work again. I wouldn't mind working part time some where and get a little more money coming in. I think at almot 69 yrs of age that it is time I planned a future especially since I intend to be around for quite a while.

I can't believe how the eating is going. I forgot to check fbs but it has to be getting better. I am eating more like Intuitive Eating (NOT ON PURPOSE) and I'm eating what I want, but I'm only eating healthy because healthy is what I want. I've started listening to my body and when I eat something and my body doesn't seem to like it (example, experience heartburn), I just decide I won't eat that any more.

Ruthie, Rennie, Bonnie, Rie, Mad and others

Well, I hope everyone has a nice weekend. I intend to.

Patty! GO GIRL! I wish we lived closer so we could do stuff together.

Good FBGL this morning - I'm glad I didn't do any sampling when I made pies yesterday. In order to fit them all into my fridge (I made eight instead of six), I had to clear out some produce and realize I have not been eating enough salads. Some of the refugees went into the veggie soup freezer bag. I wish I wanted soup more in the summer. Must check out cold soups.

Fish fry tonight which won't tempt me too much. The caterer is well known in the area and is doing cod fillets. I may settle for one piece and pass my other one to someone who wants three. There will be a delicious cole slaw for sure and it's easy to pass up pie when you've made it yourself. I just hope nobody made pecan!

Enjoy your weekend. Hug your father if he's around - and if not, hug the good memories.

A quick flyby. I got my hair done this morning and beautician and I are going to a movie when she gets off work. Will meet her and her dgs at 5. Will take my bottle water and will plan for a small popcorn. Haven't had that much to eat today so I can.

Ruthie Good job staying away from tasting the pies and for having a plan for later.ch y

Catch y'all later.

Fly-by this morning. I skipped testing and weighing since my four-legged terrors wanted out RIGHT NOW OR ELSE! Remembered after I'd had coffee and my smoothie.

Probably just as well since I did have some fish last night - it was absolutely yummy. Too bad it was battered and deep fried. I had a few chips too - first since February! Managed to avoid the pie although Cathy made real old-fashioned butterscotch. Today will definitely be a clean eating day.

I'm making a cauliflower and broccoli salad and will follow Rie's suggestion and have it over greens before each meal. I'm loaded with strawberries and some lovely NJ blueberries so there is no excuse not to eat healthy.

Be gentle with yourself today and remember "If you don't look after your body, where will you live?"