[wonderwitch121]

My daughter is a 1, my weight is out of control, the bottom of my belly is gross and I cannot get 5 minutes to myself without kicking and screaming for it. I hate sex! I use to love it, my poor husband has gone from an ocean of affection and parchment... I try to force myself but I just keep thinking of how awful I feel. I cannot stand for him to touch my thighs or my stomack, if her does it is over for the night. He just doesn't get it. Even kissing makes me feel sick some times. It's not him, I don't think about anyone else either. Anyone else had this problem. It is almost impossible to find anything on line about it and my dr. doesn't seem to care...and I really don't want meds. Been there and felt worse.

[drtrdrmom]

I too have felt very similiar-my husband says he loves me and that none of those things matter to him. I have been battleing my weight for a long time and am at almost my heaviest now. I enjoyed sex, started hating it because of my weight-but am realizing that this is temporary. My children are 14 and 12-so that part is better. I am finally now becoming aware that I need to be happy and accepting of all of me including my faults-belly too big and sagging....because bottom line..my husband accepts them and loves me regardless of that. It is a daily struggle to accept myself and love myself as is..this is a journey and we should try to enjoy the trip.
As far as meds....b-vitamins seem to help some for energy and stress-i take a daily multi, a b complex, exercise of some type (acivity) dancing for a few minutes, brisk walk, marching in place will seem to boost my mood also.
You are not alone..there are many of us that face these issues.

[nelie]

You might need counseling to work your issues out.

I've always had pretty low self esteem but I had to learn how to cope. I used to think bad things about myself all the time but then one day I told myself I'd change my mentality. So whenever a negative thought pops into my head, I tell myself stop then I think something positive about myself. Tell yourself that you love yourself. Even if you don't believe it now, make yourself believe it. Tell yourself that you are a beautiful caring women. I don't care if you think it is a lie, it isn't.

Your husband loves you and obviously he finds you attractive. If you feel awful, then commit to yourself to do a certain amount of exercise or do something specific to assist your weight loss.

I have to say that my weight doesn't affect my drive now nor did it 90 lbs ago. If it was up to me, it would be a daily requirement in my relationship. I think you just need to refind your sexuality which may be difficult but it is something worth working on for yourself and for your marriage.

[lilybelle]

My weight had definitely affected my sexuality. I was an "only with the lights off and my t-shirt gown on" type person. My DH wasn't bothered by my weight and never made me feel bad about it. I just felt lousy about my own body and didn't want him to see it.
With the weight loss, I have became more affectionate to him and less self-conscious of my body. Sex isn't a chore anymore. Granted a lot of my problems were health related and with weight loss, I feel both physically and mentally better.

[amyn]

Being a new mom is very tied into struggles with sexuality, emotion, moods, ect. Are you nursing your daughter? I know that while my son was nursing I felt totally touched out, I wanted nobody else near me. That, on top of getting used to a post- pregnancy body, lack of sleep....the last thing on your mind is sex. It can be hard for men to understand that. It sounds as though you have a great guy who loves you regardless, he should be understanding of this time in your life. Can you put your daughter in a stroller and get some air, exercise, and time to clear your head? I think I probably spent 3 hours a day walking when my son was young, it really helped to combat the post partum blues. Good luck to you, your not alone.

[rdhdgrl1]

I agree with amyn. Post partum blues can last for a year or more. Also have you had your thyroid checked. A lot of thyroid problems happen post partum. Good Luck.