[nefarious_wytch]

hey everyone,

i just needed somewhere to express what's going on before i go stark raving mad. the last two days have been really rough on me mentally and emotionally. It's just after 5 pm, I still have another hour to work and i'm trying to hold back tears.

i'm losing my job at the end of october. basically i'm only here right now to train the person that is stealing my job from me. Did I mention i got a pay cut in the process. I am the only person at my place of employment to do this job before and i built it up from scratch and now she's going to get all the glory. I had to figure out how to do all the work myself and now i have to train her. she gets to continue to be employed while i am screwed soon.

i don't feel like my current manager respects me at all nor does she appreciate any of the extra work i have taken on myself to prove myself. i'm getting extremely frustrated because i'm being burned.

and to top it off, one of the guys i'm seeing is pissed off at me cause when he called sunday nite at 12:30 am i wouldn't let him cover over cause i had taken a sleeping pill and was falling asleep. He also played the jealousy card because he doesn't like that i'm seeing other men. He got pissed off enough with me that he hung up. While i want to call him back to get closer and sort things out i don't want to let him get the upper hand so i'm trying desperately not to call him.

then another guy i'm seeing thinks i'm going psycho cause when i call and he doesn't answer i'll call back later (he doesn't have an answering machine but has call display). He also hasn't figured out that when his call display says i've called 9 times, it doesn't mean i've called nine times that day...its cummulative. so now he's telling me he's becoming a little threatened by me.

i have no money. i can't even afford my asthma meds or my anti-depressants (and right now i really need them). I'm hundreds of dollars behind on my cable and phone bill and don't even know when i might be able to pay them off.

and my cat keeps peeing everywhere.

i moved to this city about 2 years ago from the other side of the country (5000 miles away) and don't have many friends here .... maybe 5. so between that, not wanting to break my SB diet and drink and not having any money, i never go out, which of course just makes me more depressed.

and i have insomnia. i get approximately 3 hours sleep a night, 4 if i'm lucky. i'm on the waiting list for a sleep disorders clinic but its 6 months long.

and i have pms.


i'm sorry, i just needed to let it out. i think i'm going to go home at 6 and just cry.

[FatVictoria]

I wish I could do something to help. ((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))

Do you want me to pray for you?

[Rowan Bailey]

NW
Sorry you are having such a hard time. I know that it sucks, but work hard at your job right now, show up and be proud of what you created, show your interest to make sure that what you created gets carried on. Do it for yourself, not for them, they don't deserve it, but you deserve to have what you have done carry on well. That will guarantee that they will have to acknowledge what you did, even if your not there, it will be done.

The only thing we are required is to do the best we can each day, some days that is not as good as others, but just knowing that you did the best you can will hopefully bring you some peace.

Breathe, deeply for a long time.

Try a different cat litter and if it doesn't stop, search the internet for more clues on what to do.

Find a head hunter now and start looking for another job

Use up your sick time, you don't get paid for it when you leave

Call your doctors office and tell them you can't afford your meds, ask them for samples....if they won't find out if the company that produces your meds offers a program for people who can't afford their meds

Find a free meeting to attend in your area, free meetings are usually some kind of 12 step program, they include all kinds of people from all backgrounds...find one that fits with you.....you will be around people and get support, but it won't cost anything.

Somedays you will just be sad, and that it alright, just keep doing things and live from your inside center and I guarantee it will get better at some point....

Good Luck
RB

[techwife]

NW...why don't you just look for a new job and quit the one you have now? Screw them...you don't owe them a thing, specially if you're only there on a short-timer basis at this point. Go to a temp agency and ask for a temp-to-perm posistion and see what they come up with! That's how I got most of my jobs. Kind of like trying on a pair of shoes before committing. YOU get to try the job, too, before deciding if it's for you, as well.

As for the dating multiple guys...geh!! Too stressful for me...one wants more attention...the other thinks you're too clingy. Sheesh. Is there one you're dating that's somewhere in the grey area?

PMS...that says a LOT...I get grumpy and fatalistic when it's that time for me. Give it a day or two and maybe things will look up!!

Good luck!! Kris

[marbleflys]

I think you had mentioned the job problem earlier (last month?) and I'm sorry to hear that your current situation hasn't gotten any better and you haven't found another type of employment.

Since you can't sleep.....sit down, get a pad of paper and make a list of small steps for Plan B.....(*whatever works for you)...make Plan C and Plan D (desperate measures).

Take time to devote to finding a new job should be your first priority. Pull yourself together to project well on an interview.

And you should be able to get meds. from healthcare? I think Canada has allowances for people who need certain meds but can't afford them? Going without them is dangerous, especially Asthma meds. It's only going to add to your problems.

good luck on your success.