[lostinthecake]

Hey, everybody,
I’m a bit new to the whole depression thing, well, not new to having it, but new to recognizing what it is. I haven’t been officially diagnosed, but from the research I’ve done my self it seems right.
It’s sort of like swimming in the dark without any landmarks. Where you keep trying to reach the land, but it all seems to lead you deeper and deeper in to the water. I keep on trying to lose weight, and to feel better, but keep on gaining instead. Every once in a while I just get in this “funk” where I can sit down in front of the TV all evening and the thoughts that are going through my mind are of this sort: “What’s the point, even if I do manage to loose that weight, It still won’t make me happy.” “No matter how hard I try, I will never be as skinny as I really want to be, so why bother.” Or sometimes I just want to cry for no good reason whatsoever. Every once in a while I just get angry with my self and that’s actually better than being in a “funk”, at least than I don’t feel like none of this life is worth bothering with.
I drink too much too, sometimes it seems like the way for me to feel happy is to get drunk, than it doesn’t seem so bad. I’m not an alcoholic, but being 310 lbs I can drink quite a bit and not be drunk, so it’s all sort of relative.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t have such a bad life. I have a wonderful husband, good job and my only BIG problem is the weight. So I can’t honestly explain it. Am I being totally selfish in not thinking about all those who don’t have half of what I do and whining for no good reason? Or should I just go and see a doctor? And what kind of a doctor, my regular physician or some sort of a therapist? But then they will know and think I’m crazy, I don’t want to be labeled as a total nutcase, even though I think that I am.

[Marystoll]

I understand exactly how you feel. I too am 305 lbs. i gained most of my weight with in the last 5 years. I am of course a diabetic and 60 years old. My depression comes over my body image. All of my life I have been overweight. I had joined and rejoined weight watchers, the same thing with Tops. I watch all the Dr. Phil shows about weight loss and Oprah too. I finally decided to go back to Tops because it is not as expensive as Weight Watchers and the group I am with is haveing the same struggles I am . There are a couple of people who are in the same weight catagory I am in. We talk and get to know one another and the compassion and understanding makes me feel that I am not alone. I look forward to my weekly meetings. If you decide to join a group go visit several different meeting until you find one you feel comfortable with. It is a good feeling to be with people who know how you feel. Good Luck.

[lostinthecake]

I went to an Overeaters Anonymous meeting once and they had all this praying and hand holding business. I personally do believe in god and even go to church every once in a while, but I’m not the type to go and spill my soul out to a bunch of strangers, just can’t do it. Are all the meetings typically like that?

[Leenie]

Welcome !!

Yes, start out going to your regular GP.

I can understand you not liking to spill your guts out to a bunch of strangers but try to understand that they are in the same boat as us. You can try therapy, lots of folks have great success with that. I didn't find the right therapist and gave up to quick... don't be like me

Just remember, there's nothing wrong with being crazy lol

Hugs !!!

[marbleflys]

Hi lost....

speak frankly to your Internist and he/she may start you on meds. (self dx. is not the way to go on this issue and self-medicating with alcohol only makes it worse).

depending on your insurance coverage, they will make rec. of psych. offices that take your plan.... I had to get pre-approval myself before making an appt. I called many docs. on my list and asked for their areas of specialization. When I had my first visit my doc. asked me if I thought I would be comfortable and wanted to continue with her. the first visit was a type of mutual interview session. If it wasn't right, you try another. However, many therapists are not MDs and cannot write, so they work in conjunction with your Internist to regulate your meds. if needed. Your internist can also refer you to a nutritionist and your insurance may even cover a health club membership....

it's a crapshoot, but it is worth it to help yourself. good luck and talk to you soon.

[NinaV]

Hey there, lost,
It does sound like what you have is depression, but you should still have it diagnosed, because who knows it might be something else entirely.
You said that sometimes you feel like none of this life is worth bothering with, but it does sound like some of the people in your life would disagree. Maybe you should talk to that husband of yours about how you feel. I don't know if you already had talked to him, but I'm sure that if he knew all of this, he would have tried to help the best he could.
People who are depressed are not crazy, these days there is so much information out there that no one would be labeling you. Give it a shot and try a doc or two, you never know it might be exactly what you need.