[hopefuldreams]

So I'm only 14, but I have weight issues. And everyone claims I'm not fat. I don't believe them. So what are good ways for someone my age to lose weight, and to improve my self esteem? Because I've definitely gotten so depressed lately that I've had to start seeing a therapist, who isn't helping. And even though my weight isn't the only issue I have, it's the one that is the hardest to fix. Everything else I've been dealing with. And so, how can I lose weight or at least see myself the way everyone else does?

[Renny Sue]

I just read another post of yours, and you say you're 5'5, you are NOT fat. Here's a link to a healthy weight range chart, which shows you that you're smack bang in the middle of being a healthy weight for your height.

You mentioned in the other post that your mum tells you that you're fat, and that you used to have bulemia. Ignore your mother. I don't know why she tries to sabotage you, but you have to ignore her. Is there any way for you to buy your own food? Or would your mum get you fruit and veggies if you asked her? You also mentioned that you see a therapist, so she should be able to help you. Get other family members, or teachers to help you out if it dosen't get through to her.

Self esteem is harder. Your therapist should be able to help you with some ways with that. I was a little older than you when I saw a therapist, but it helped me a lot, so I hope you have the same outcome.

One thing I did as a teen, was write down every compliment that was given to me, and read over them whenever I felt bad. It does help. Look in the mirror and tell yourself something you like about yourself every day. It might be only little at first (eg I like my eyes) but you'll soon get better at it.

Unless you're 4 foot, try not to focus on losing weight, but being healthy. Drink more water, eat more fruit and veggies, go for a walk every day. I don't know if you play sport, but if you don't look into playing a sport with your friends. Social, fitness and fun all in one!

Remember, you are NOT fat.

[marbleflys]

If you are 5'5" and 137 lbs. you are probably at your best weight, BUT you may*feel* fat if you're not firm...and although you're only 14, your body is adjusting/growing....

Self-esteem comes from within....If you do good things for yourself, you WILL start to feel better, look better and feel more self-assured and confident.....

generally, you might want to start with some regular exercise & light wt. training. You would stay the same weight but look smaller if you have muscle (yes, all those things they say are true, muscle is smaller & denser than fat) so you might drop down a size. and it's a great way to make progress and give you confidence.

Close your ears to those comments that are not helpful and remember that you've got such a great life to look forward to and you will succeed!

[zeanea]

If it would make you feel better I would say you can lose up to ten...maybe 15 max! no more. Listen I know what your going through, I've been told I was fat since I was twelve. I tried anorexia and a number of unsuccessful diets. Pleas please please don't believe the people who say these things to you. I beleived them and in doing so I DID become fat.(clinically obese) I hear your story and it scares me because you may be headed down the same road as me. I tried to commit suicide because kids at school were making fun of me and I had no solace at home. Please reach out and please let people tell you that your weight is healthy. Don't write them off. I look back now and realize how healthy and skinny I was but at the time I beleived them and it sabotaged my efforts to lead a healthy life, also, your kind of thinking can lead to an eating disorder. Don't let the desire for a healthier(skinnier) life lead to a shorter life. Lose a few pds if you ABSOLUTELY think that will make you feel better, but PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE talk to people and realize how beautiful and healthy you are.

[Leenie]

I agree with the ladies, you are NOT fat. There is a Teen Forum here that I'm sure you can get tons of support from young girls about your age.

Gee, I haven't even seen you and I think your just perfect !!!!

Please be careful !!!

Hugs, Leenie

[lunameow]

zeanea, I hear what you're saying there. It's a horrible thing to grow up being told that you're fat and disgusting. I was just discussing this very thing with a friend the other day who has recently lost nearly 200 pounds and is now a size 5, and still thinks she's fat. It's so damaging to be told such horrible things when you're young. I remember my father telling me how I was a gross pig and how I was "getting fat, just like your mother." My sister and I were looking at old photos from that time period awhile back, and she saw a picture of me and exclaimed, "Look how skinny you used to be!" And it broke my heart, it really did, because at the time that picture was taken, I was convinced I was a useless blob of fat, and now I'm at least twice what I was then.

To hopefuldreams: You really have to just block out what your mother is telling you. You are nowhere near fat. You mention that you're seeing a therapist. Talk to him/her about the weight and self worth issues. No one should be put through this at your age, and the sooner you and your therapist can work those things out, the better off you'll be as you become an adult.

Oh, and a side note. You're NOT fat. But even if you were, that wouldn't make you worthless, disgusting, stupid, or anything else you might think. Never, ever, EVER believe that just because someone says you're fat that it means you're a bad person. Your weight (fat OR thin) is not who you are.

[AmberJoy]

You are the only one who can decide that you are not fat, until youve decided that-you will be unhealthy and eventually be fat. Find something now that can help prevent that. i suggest www.bodypositive.org