[eyereenah]

i dont even know where to begin. there have been many many times where i will start working out, i would be doing great! working out for weeks and then ill stop for some reason and then ill fall off the wagon again. i will gain all my weight back times 2, get tired of it and do it all over again... even though the idea for me to want to lose weight is there, and i know i want to, i am extremely tired of the way i feel and look, its like i cant get off my butt and do anything about it. the doctors had put me on medication for depression, lexapro, but i stoped it because i couldnt afford it, i moved and didnt have a doctor. inside i feel like i have the burning fire to want to lose this weight, i want to be even more sexy and feeling great but i dont know why i cant do anything about it.
when i was a kid my dad had always yelled at me for overeating and being fat, always putting a negative conitation on the word fat... i was anorexic, had a drug problem, and when i would binge i would overeat... all of that is over thank god, if only i could reach the finish line.
i am tired of the yo-yo.
i am tired of being depressed.
and i am especially tired of being chubby.

i dont really think this is a scream for help, maybe just a far cry and just some feelings i had to share with someone. i guess if anyone has had similiar experiences and has conquered it... i would love to hear how you did it. i am 23 and will be damned if im going to live the rest of my life like this... (see thats the fire inside lol)

peace irina

[Leenie]

Hi Irina and Welcome,

First let me say your NOT alone. Sweetie, I feel the same way as you. I have lost in the past 150 lbs and regained 100 of them I am the youngest of 7 kids so me and my sister next to my age were very negelcted. Both parents worked, and well they really had no time, so we found food as our only means of comfort, I do remember comments from my family as I got older about being fat and boy, don't they stick.

Its a vicious cycle, you eat cause your unhappy, your unhappy cause you eat...what the heck do you do? I wish I could tell you but I can't.

The only thing I can say is... keep trying, don't ever EVER give up, as long as there's an ounce of you that wants to be healthy, keep trying. I do believe that everyone has their "day" and ours will come if we so want it.

Keep posting, keep learning, keep wanting, keep talking, keep screaming for help, I think its the only way and there's nothing to be ashamed about. This site has oodles and oodles of people who are willing to take you under their wing, I think you will learn alot from them.

Hang in there and most important, Keep Praying

Hugs!!

[lynnie24]

I totally understand what you are going through.I am going to Therapy right now for all of the above.
I am tired of being tired is what I tell my dh and my therapist.

Good Luck and please feel free to visit and discuss with us. Maybe we can help shed some light or at least guide you that way.

*hugs*
lynnie

[*laura]

I feel like your telling my story! I too am on Lexapro. Unfortunatly I can't afford to pick up my pills from the drug store right now.I eat because I'm depressed and I'm depressed because of money issues, and since I can't pick up my pills I'm really freaking out. I don't mean to sound really broke, I just have a huge overhead that has gotten away from me. I'm behind on my bills and it's scaring me. My husband just gets angry when I try to talk to him about it. ONce he gets in a bad mood he takes it out on me and my boys. (9 and 14) So in turn my way of dealing is EATING!!!!!!!! Sorry I vented so much in your post, once I started I could'nt stop. I guess I'm just looking for support! Thanks for letting me vent.