Hope it's ok to do this. Leenie, if it isn't, I totally understand if you need to remove it.
Quote:
"The following are some of the characteristics, agreed upon
by one Alanon-Acoa group, that result in problems in our lives.
a. We became isolated and afraid of people and authority figures;
b. We became approval seekers and lost our identity in the process;
c. We are frightened by angry people and any personal criticism;
d. We either become alcoholics, marry them, or both, or find another
compulsive personality such as a workaholic to fulfill our sick
abandonment needs;
e. We live life from the viewpoint of victims and are attracted by
that weakness in our love and friendship relations;
f. We have an overdeveloped sense of responsibility and it is easier
for us to be concerned with others rather than ourselves. This enables
us not to look too closely at our faults, etc.
g. We get guilt feelings when we stand up for ourselves instead of
giving in to others;
h. We became addicted to excitement;
i. We confuse love and pity and tend to "love" people we can "pity"
and "rescue";
j. We have stuffed our feelings from our traumatic childhoods and have
lost the ability to feel or express our feelings because it hurts
so much; (DENIAL)
k. We judge ourselves harshly and have a very low sense of self-esteem;
l. We are dependent personalities who are terrified of abandonment and
will do anything to hold on to a relationship in order not to experience
painful abandonment feelings which we received from living
with sick people who were never there emotionally for us;
m. Alcoholism is a family disease and we became para-alcoholics and took
on the characteristics of that disease even though we did not pick up
the drink;
n. Para-alcoholics are reactors rather than actors."
For those who are interested in ACoA, here are two wonderful sites that were shared with me earlier this week:
http://www.recovery.org/acoa/acoa.html
http://adultchildren.org/
Have a wonderful weekend everyone!
ACoA Info
