[BeMeAgain]

Hi ladies,

I gained about 60 pounds with my pregnancy, and although I lost some of it afterward, I slowly gained it back (plus interest) since then (my son's 6 now). My high was recently 206. I'm right about 200 lately, wearing a 16/18. Normal pre-pregnancy weight was 128-135, wearing an 8/10. I've been as low as 120, which even I had to admit was too thin for me. Have never been athletic. Enjoyed power walking, but was never really fit.

When my son's dad and I broke up, I started this current round of anti-depressants. I've been on Effexor XR for a few years now. I've hit several plateaus with it where I started feeling very blue again, so we increased my dose each time. I'm now up to 150 mg a day. I just started taking hormones because at 40-something I've also been in "peri-menopause" for the same few years (pre-menopause stage of initial body changes).

Also need to schedule a "sleep study" because my doctor thinks I may be sleep deprived. Not that I don't sleep, but she's concerned about the "quality of sleep," and says that the symptoms of sleep deprivation can be similar to depression (and like seasonal affective disorder, can be dealt with pretty directly).

In the past (pre-pregnancy), I've had periods where I've exercised regularly. Once I got over the inevitable "feel like I'm gonna die" stage, I could both feel and document incremental improvements, such as in racewalking speed or distance. But something always came up to disrupt my routine, and then I'd never get back my momentum -- and months (now years!) would pass.

Well here I am, looking back on a 7-year, 70-pound distraction. Yikes!

The good news is that I'm finally starting to feel "like me again" for some reason. I don't feel like such a stranger in my (fat) body anymore. I'm trying to stand up straighter and walk like I have confidence -- as if I had my 135 lb. body back. It seems to be working, actually. I feel better, at least, which I suppose is the most important thing.

Here's the wild part -- I just plunked down a chunk of savings on a face lift, and have made a pact with the surgeon's office that I can get a breast lift in six months -- after I lose the first 50 pounds. (I had always wanted bigger breasts -- now that I finally have them, gravity's taking over the game! Not fair!)

Over the summer, I did well for a few weeks on Fat Flush (12 lbs), before a distraction broke the momentum. So I'm cleaning out my kitchen again and will give it another go. Went out and got a rebounder (mini-trampoline, which the program recommends for helping with cellulite) and some Pilates tapes (for that long, lean dancer's body). I can do both of these exercise programs at home, which seems to be the only place where I can squeeze exercise into my full-time work, full-time mom day. (I really need to cancel that gym membership that I've never used!)

I hope I haven't rambled too much. I'm a total newbie to this site, and I'm hoping to learn from more seasoned members here, as well as share some of the strengths, knowledge and positive stuff that I *do* have to offer.

Thanks,
Rani

[liz321]

Come and join us on the dailies! Looking forward to getting to know you!

Eliz