January 2019 Ups and Downs Depression Support Thread!
 

:welcome3: to all! we are a small but mighty group who support each other through our daily lives. Celebrate the Ups when we have them! and support the Downs when they happen.
Please feel free to join in anytime. You can write as little or as much as you like.

I started out the New Year by shoveling for over 2 hours, heavy wet snow, ugh :D We only got about 3 inches, but at the top of the driveway, the State plows throws it from the road, so it was at least 8" of the heavy stuff up there. But I got it all done :cool:

We got together with our sons at the older one's home on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. It was good..but still overshadowed by younger son's marriage breakup. Very frustrating for us still...as the wife is the one who moved out and indicates that it's over, but nothing being done to move ahead to follow through. We also think he is supporting her financially which makes us want to tear our hair out. We will continue to be calm about it around him though!!

Today is the first New Year's Day I have had off in at least 15 years :eek: because I've always worked retail/food service! Nice to have it off...but it means I am missing a day's pay. We also had Christmas Eve and Christmas Day off with no pay. Just one of those things.

There are still lots of cookies and cupcakes in the freezer, I need to bring them to work to get rid of them. I *think* I have only gained about 3 pounds during the holidays. It's usually more than that!

One more thing about me and then I hope others join in today :) I realize that my depressive states are triggered by crummy weather, and inactivity on my part. The crummy weather I can't do anything about. The inactivity, though, I can. My daily life kinda takes care of that most of the time, I HAVE to get up, take EddieDog out and feed him, get ready for work, go to work, come home, do stuff around the house. On days off, there are endless clean up projects around the house, or maybe shovel, pay bills, stuff you have to do. It's when I have free time to just sit and dwell that seem to swallow me in bad thoughts. Sometimes I have to FORCE myself merely to stand up from the chair and just start moving and soon I find something that needs to be done.

AND one more thing, I appreciate the support here So very much!!!! I know my husband loves me and supports me but there is only so much a partner can say to you sometimes. I appreciate so much the friendship and insightful views I have received here :hug:

Hi holly,

I sit too much when I'm at home. I am in better shape than when I first got to Washington. I no longer gasp when I walk around the house or do errands. I love it.

I try to give you advice because I care, we care. I think you're pretty fantastic.

I hope you are getting more comfortable with your job.

I got my hair trimmed today. It looks sooooo nice. :)

hello. wishing you best Lisa. and Holly.

good evening!

Lisa I'm so glad you like your hair after a trim. Yay for great hair days! :)

Flower Hi and how are you doing :)

and hello to everyone else!! :hug:

My company holiday party was last night, it was a Luau theme. Wow the company spent alot of money on this party!! It was held at the same place where we have our annual Harley Raffle, it was so very fun to be a guest at an event here instead of the person in charge! Anyway, I had a luau costume all set, grass skirt (with black leggings under) leis, a long black wig, the whole 9 yards :D It is so fun for me to dress up. You got to choose a wrapped gift from a table as soon as you entered, I think they were all around the $20 price point but they had enough for 100+ employees for everyone to get a gift to open . Then onto the open bar!! Open bar for 5 hours!! top shelf stuff too. DJ was playing awesome music, there was a photo booth with props, limbo contest, a catering company with appetizers and then dinner. Wow!! I had a blast. I tried the limbo, I promptly fell over :rofl: and somehow didn't even spill my beer LOL!!! Danced like crazy with my girlfriend from work, got lots of comps on my costume. Today I bought a thank you card and am going to get it to the owners of the company to thank them for giving us such a fun party.

Hey Holly,

Cupcakes and cookies, are they homemade because I need some lol. Life itself is bit stressful and anyone who tells you otherwise is lying just my personal opinion. Marriage, kids, job, bills can sometimes seem overwhelming. But I wouldn't have it any other way, what's life without obstacles and challenges. I use to deal with the problem a lot when sitting along or just alone in general - my thoughts use to get the best of me. What has worked for me is several things - Finding hobbies that I really enjoy because at the end of the day, I am human and life is not always about bills and constant worry. You have to take time out for your self. Another is knowing yourself and being confident in who you are and what you can achieve. We pay the bills, go to work, make sure the house chores are done, etc. Why stress if these things are being done and will get done.

Proper sleep and living a healthy life has done miracles for me as well, just more energy, more clarity, and just overall feeling better about myself physically and mentally. Just thinking more about positive things in my life and how blessed I really am. I use to feel like I was always carrying the world on my shoulders. Why? I have friends, family and a beautiful and amazing wife that I can always communicate and consult with. Life doesn't need to hard.

As far as your son and his ex-wife, I think my wife will have not only pulled her hair but the son ex-wife hair as well - I'm just joking. Anyway, all the best :) I still will like some cupcakes, especially if they have strawberry frosting.

well this is strange, I KNOW i typed out a response yesterday and hit submit, but I don't see it! anyway, :welcome: James and thank you for your input and insights! Yes everything I make is homemade, I guess the goodies sent to you will have to be virtual :D

Pretty cold and windy here but that's about par for January in Vermont. Even though the new job has been challenging, (and I thank you all so much for your faith and encouragement to me!!) it has been great not to be in retail/foodservice , especially through the holidays, and now for the ski season. Last night at work, as I was drilling/installing hubs into flywheels, and some good music was on the speaker, I was thinking "this is much better than waiting on customers" :D and dealing with the new owners.

I have kinda started back into an exercise regimen, I am trying for 600 minutes/month of *intended exercise* which means a dvd or Leslie Sansone or some structured workout. That's not as bad as is sounds, like 5x a week at 30 minutes a shot. But if I have to shovel snow, I count that as half (shovel an hour, I count that as 30 minutes of exercise). I just need the cardio and muscle work for daily life. I wanna beat Father Time's butt :devil:

How is everyone ?? :wave:

:newyear:

Hi everyone! Hope you had a lovely Christmas and a great New Year!

I can't believe I'm skulking in here to apologise for how long it's been AGAIN! My tablet updated, and it's changed the way my bookmarks work, so it's prompted me to come by less. Nothing personal to you lovely lot!

We had a nice Christmas, I sorted the problems my sister was throwing up, and hosted everyone in our apartment. It went really well, I had too much food, we just finished the leftovers :lol:

My dad had his skin cancer lump removed (it's not the sort that spreads, so no further treatment). It was right on his nose, and they've not done the neatest of jobs - to doctor was in a rush to finish so she could get off to the Christmas party, I think! Dad has been very depressed recently, and I'm struggling to figure out how to make him better :(

I need to go back and catch up with all your updates, so I'll post again soon :)

Brought this over from an old thread :)

What do you do for motivation?

My daughter is getting married next year. That motivates me.


Hi ladies!!

I'm just taking my 7 ft tree down. I have branches everywhere. 😒

I hope you all are doing great.

I just fell again. Hard. I'm not hurt that bad considering I fell hard.

Jeebus.

Lisa so sorry to hear you fell hard!! :hugs: and yeah, family weddings are a great motivation!

Coop so good to hear from you!! I'm so glad you had a nice Christmas but sorry to hear that your Dad is so depressed. I hope he finds something that interests him to perk up.

Pat (flower) such a nice sentiment from you :)

and Hi to everyone else!!

our Harley Raffle on Saturday went great! first time in 5 years that I've been President, that I've been able to enjoy it.

It is between ten and 15 BELOW zero here! but very pretty blue sky.

Hope everyone has a good day!

10 degrees ABOVE zero this morning, that is 25 degrees warmer than yesterday morning, nice :cool:

good morning to everyone!

Is anyone here affected by the government shutdown?

Had a good day at work yesterday, 2 new stations are getting a *little* easier, as you all knew they would be :) and thanks so much for your encouragement and support to me :D

Knocked back snowbanks yesterday to make room for possible more snow this weekend. Best thing about shoveling snow and knocking back snowbanks is that it's free strength and cardio for me :strong: that's being positive isn't it!!

have a good day my friends! :cheer2:

Hey, What I do is fight with my thoughts. Don't dwell on those thoughts that tell you that you are less than what you are. Try not to overthink. Start training your mind to be more positive. This takes practice but I know that you can do it. Also, remind yourself how God sees you. You are beautiful and never forget that.

very nice drewp! and how true about training your mind to go in the more positive direction. it does work and it does help!

HI everyone :hug: I am taking a break this morning from working on the driveway, each day that it doesn't snow, I go out with pointy sharp shovel and regular snow shovel, and chop/widen as best I can, to make room for more of the inevitable :rolleyes: which is definitely coming this weekend. But yay for shoveling being a great conditioning exercise! now THAT'S positive thinking isn't it :D

I don't remember if I even got here to speak about our Annual Harley Raffle, it was last Saturday, and it was the first time since I've been President and emceeing the event, 6 years, that I actually enjoyed myself!! that i can now see that the event does go smoothly because we all do our part, and we had it catered by a new place that was efficient, cost-effective and delicious! that was a HUGE load off my mind. The bike was given to a guy who has supported us for many years so that is always great, he was SO excited!! We had enough people off the street come for the band afterwards, and what we took in at the door for that ($10/person) actually covered the band's fee!! and it's over for another year which makes me happy :smoking:

I am finally at the point, when I am driving to work, that my stomach isn't tied up thinking 'what's gonna happen there today, am i going to be put on something new, am I going to do OK when the line starts moving quick'. They can see I am trying my best and that's what matters..and thanks again to my friends here who have had faith in me and told me so many times :D

have a great day!! come talk :) when you can

In here too. Just a lot going on.

We had to deal with the 20" of snow dumped on us overnight. With our little snowthrower and our shovels, I think we got it!! Our driveway is now skinnier, it was nice and wide but getting this much snow is difficult to put anywhere!! it gave me hours of exercise though!

the weekend goes by too fast! But I got my work clothes ready for the week, and I made a big pot of veggies, small amount of ground turkey and ground beef, and multiple cans of diced tomato, whole tomato, tomato sauce, and spices. I don't even care that there is alot of cauliflower and broccoli in it, it just tastes like yummy spaghetti sauce! It made about 9 big servings. My work food for the week :)

I sent an email to someone on the Board of Directors of the summer job place, saying that while I have loved working there, I need to talk to someone to negotiate a pay increase, and possibly a regularly scheduled weekend day off, with coverage provided. I wrote that my winter job people would like me to stay; and that I'm looking at other jobs that are more local. But I wrote it in a very polite and non-combative way.

have a good night!

Hi all
I need to vent...and complain. 2 years ago my west coast family came out to visit my mother who lives on the east coast. I have other family on the east coast. So it was a big deal. entire family getting together for the first time in 10 years.

My mother made sure I was not invited. She told me about it and then said I was and am not invited, per her request. Usually she is willing to have me there when my family gets together. As long as I do not stay as long as my SIL does. eg my SIL will be there for 6 days. But my mother questioned why I was planning to stay for 4 days rather than 3.

Last year she had no choice. I had to be there because the brother was having a big birthday party for her. But I knew to only stay three days. So she could be alone with the person she likes, my SIL. When my brother was alive she could not wait to get rid of me so she could just be with them both alone. She honestly cannot stand me.

I cannot create waves by cancelling. Because it would make my SIL feel uncomfortable. And it would confirm to my mother what a horrible person she is toward me. So I have to go. She is way too old to be honest about what she does. She is 95. Although I did tell her that most moms want the whole family to get together. She understood for the moment that this is true. But because she is a classic full blown narcissist she will forget that. And honestly the fact that she doesn't really want me there trumps any logic she might consider.

I did reduce the length of days to 3. Also I offered to not go there in 2 weeks. But instead to go for her birthday in March even though I cannot really go there alone. She shreds me. She declined the offer for me to cancel. She knows it would make her look like a horrible mother if I did. But she did say I could go there for her birthday in March also. So I am stuck going there in 2 weeks.

Also, she cannot stand it when I am anything less than very thin. So I have been on a crash diet to lose 8 lbs. half of which I have already lost. She prefers it when I am extremely thin. But I cannot do that for her. Nor would I even if I had the time.

I called my cousin crying. She has known my mother all her life. She told me that in her opinion no daughter could survive in tact with a mother like mine. While she loves my mother, my cousin gets harmed even when she calls her. So that helped me a tiny bit.

Thank you very much for listening to my rant and whine. Best I can say is it will be all over in 17 days. Thanks again
I hope you all have a great Thursday

Flower, I am stunned at how your mother reacts with you...I remember you speaking of it earlier, when we all first 'met' here. I can't even find the words!!! Horrid?? despicable?? and these are not words that I should be saying about anyone's mother!! I guess you know how to handle it best, it seems you have thought out all options and offered them. Wow. I am so, very sorry that you have to deal with this!!! :hug:

On a much lighter note, I loved your description of watching the bucket loader take care of this white business :D They are so skilled aren't they!!

I am only grateful for this rain, to reduce our towering snowbanks. We have lots of sand that I can broadcast by hand for the slick driveway. And that it is no longer -12 or colder.

I heard back from the guy who is on the Kitchen Operations Committee at the summer job. He said absolutely there could be a review of my compensation. The scheduling needs to be done through the Chef but the guy said he thought it should be workable. That was very good news. Of course maybe he was just telling me what I want to hear. I shall just have to be patient and wait til April to push it some more. Thanks Flower for your comps on the working Holly :) I have always tried to conduct myself at work, as if there was a secret camera that the boss is watching, lol.

Hoping to hear from some of our other friends here! :)

Hello Group!

I would like to try joining here and see how this works. I am back to watching my diet after doing HORRIBLE eating for the last several months. I was here on the forum several years ago but I seemed to be losing the battle because the harder I tried I GAINED weight. I did lose weight after last being here when I had to be on a diet for medical reasons, but have gained it back plus more. So here I am.

My general plan is limiting the amount and type of food I am eating. I want to focus on fruits, vegetables, whole grains and beans. I don't have an exercise plan in mind.

I look forward to reading more of the posts here. Also you can refer to me by my username or just J.

Have a great day!

Thank you for the welcome. I really firmly believe this battle with weight is all in our mind. We can win if we keep trying and stay on track.

I just found a bump on my eye lid. Not quite the size of a pea. Outer right side of my eye lid.

Guess I'll be seeing a dermatologist soon.

:(

Hi flower,

It's fine now. The bump is gone. Not sure why it appeared but it is gone. :)

The area beneath my knee is rock hard but it's healing.

Lisa
Great to read that the thing on your eye has gone down. whew, that must have been a relief. I love these physical spontaneous resolves :) I am hoping the area beneath your knee heals soon.

Kathleen Thank you so much for the kind words. Yes, I indeed did choose to go. It seems easier to go there to see my mother when the sister in law is there as well. Even though she struggles a lot with various emotional conditions which means I am on my own re support. But at least she can help me to physically navigate. I am so sorry that you too know family toxic behaviors. And I hope the brother who had a stroke has recovered sufficiently. Mostly., I am sorry your mom has some narcissistic characteristics. It can be soul crushing to grow up with a Narcissistic mother. And yet you grew up to be such a kind hearted caring person. I hope you will let us know how the apt with the new surgeon goes. Hoping you are a good candidate for the Anterior Hip Replacement. AND I hope he can give you something to help the pain until surgery. Hoping also that surgery can be as soon as you want. Being in that much pain can be draining. So happy to read the good news about your family. Relationship with DH is better. Daughter is doing well in school, yay. And son is doing well too despite his not liking school. I give him a lot of credit for prevailing even though he is not someone who likes school Andddd.... Happy Anniversary !!!

Jumatarian I hope you are doing well

Holly I hope you are having a good night. Its 1:51 atm. so I guess you are home from work. Get ready for the next arctic blast. The thing that annoys me about these arctic blasts is that salt doesnt work on the roads when it is so cold. And the predicted wind. I just want the arctic to keep that polar vortex in tact where it belongs !! :lol:

I am having a difficult time losing weight. Dieting but not losing. Even though I usually am great at losing when I diet. this time the scale seems to be going in the opposite direction after the first 3 days of loss. I think I will slightly increase my supplement for brain and cortisol. But usually I do not need to. There have been times when the naturopath has muscle tested that I should. So I will do that. See what happens. Because I am eating low fat, low cal. and low carb.

I hope you all have a great Tuesday.

Ladies, I'm seeing so much about your weather just now! I really hope you're all keeping warm and safe!

This weekend is 4 years since mum passed, so I'm a bit quiet just now. Dad's still not too great, I'm going to see him this weekend.

I think you always have sadness during birthdays and anniversaries of passings. Sometimes i forget them but my parents are never far from thoughts. :)

Flower,

My knee is healing nicely. The bruise is gone. The only thing left is hardness. Kind of like a knot. I don't touch it, sucker still hurts.

I've got to do a better job of not falling. I think my weight affects my balance.

Kathleen,

I hope you like your new Dr. If you ever get your hip replaced I've heard hips are easier to heal from than knees. They have you up gently walking the same day.

I hope you find pain relief.