August 2016 Ups & Downs Support Group
 

Hello & :welcome3: to the August 2016 thread for the Ups & Downs Support Group! Anyone is welcome to join the group. Just jump right in and introduce yourself. We have a few regulars in the group and others who check in periodically. It is a nice place to come to get support and offer support to others. We discuss the ups and downs of weight loss as well as the ups and downs of life in general. Please join us! :)

Welcome lisbeth1!
 

lisbeth1: :welcome: to the group! Hopefully you will find this message to you on the new August thread. So sorry that you are battling anxiety and depression right now. You are definitely not alone. I have been there many times. My son is currently battling anxiety and depression really bad and it is triggering my own issues with both. Anyway, I wish you the best on your weight loss journey and with managing your mental health issues. You can do this! I'm cheering for you! :cheer2:

JesikaBeth
 

JesikaBeth: Has your mom had her next surgery yet? If so, how did it go? I hope all is well and that you are handling everything okay under the circumstances. Sending you a big hug! :hug:

Monica (EasySpirit)
 

Monica: It sounds like you are kicking @$$ on your workouts! That is awesome! :carrot: The fact that working out so often and so consistently has helped your depression go away is such a huge reward and motivator all at once! :bravo: Good for you for putting the scale away in the garage if it was driving you crazy. You will get back into those skinny shorts one of these days!!! Keep on believing!!! ;)

My son has missed 2 of his psychiatric appointments since being discharged from the inpatient hospital. :( SO frustrating!!! I am picking him up to take him to his appointment tomorrow (to make sure he gets there!), so hopefully he can get started on the path to the correct medications. He does not like the ones he is currently on. He takes them as needed at times because he doesn't like the side effects, and (obviously) that is NOT how they were prescribed. And these are mood stabilizers. Nothing to mess around with! Scares the **** out of me! This whole situation has been causing me so much anxiety, but there have been a few glimmers of hope just recently, so I am just continuing to pray that he turns the corner SOON so that he can be successful at college this fall. He really wants to go and says he feels confident that he can do it. I hope he's right!

My daughter is doing very well. Thanks for asking about her, too. She has been taking advantage of ice time at our local hockey facility twice a week most weeks. Did I mention that she will be trying out for the Women's USA Paralympic Sled Hockey team at the end of August? This has been a dream of hers for awhile now, so she is really getting excited... and nervous, too. She still likes to keep her distance from her brother for now though. She just doesn't like to be around him while he is acting so unstable and often very strange. I think it scares her and she just doesn't want to be around that kind of behavior. I try to respect her boundaries but also encourage her to accept her brother where he is right now. It's a delicate balance.

Coop
 

Coop: It sounds like you and your OH are handling things as well as possible. I hope it was a relief to get started at your new job this week. I really hope you will like your new employment. Please let us know how you like it as time goes on. Thinking of you and your OH during the funeral and memorial. That can be such a difficult time. And sorry you have the added pressure from family members about getting married and having kids, especially when a health problem prevents you from doing so right now. Sounds insensitive to me. Hang in there! Sending a big hug! :hug:

Lisa
 

Lisa: Sorry you have been feeling down about Jennifer and anxious about settling your mom's estate. I cant blame you, but everything will work out in time. Keep the faith! By the way, I never responded when you posted the photos of the cars you were interested in buying awhile ago. I also like the older version of the Cooper. I say go for it if money allows when the time comes! Please keep us posted on all of your exciting plans! I hope you are looking forward to it all and not just dreading the bad/sad parts. Everything is going to be okay!!! :hug:

Holly
 

Holly: How are you? And how was the wedding? I'm dying to know! I hope it was a wonderful day for your son and his new wife! :)

Hi there. New to 3FC and on the weight loss journey again. It's been about 10 years since my last attempt to lose weight and now my battles with depression and anxiety are bigger than my weight battles ever could be.

I had a doctor appointment today and just dealing with getting out of the house and making it to the appointment was a Herculean feat. Once there, I had an anxiety attack which I struggled to keep under wraps - but then I completely fell apart once I was safely home. I am exhausted from this horrible day and I never want to leave my bed again. How do you make it through days like these? I have GOT to find a psychiatrist here!!! (I haven't been able to find one since moving to my current location.)

I am so miserable from today, and I just want to say "f**k it!" with regards to my diet, but I know that's the absolute worst thing I could do right now...

I live in Northen VA. I am also a RN. I know a few in the DC Metro Area.

Sorry you are feeling this way. I know there are days with no relief in site and I know how hard it can be to get out of the house when you are severely depressed.

Hi Kathleen,

I've missed seeing you post.


I went to visit Jennifer last night. It was so nice to catch up with her, we talked for 2 hours.


I had some triggers set me off the other night. Ever since then, I have been down. I realized how many losses I have had this year. Mom passing, Jennifer moving out and taking Ruby. I talked about them in my therapy appointment the other day but I am just blah. I am still taking my meds, this is just part of my healing process I guess.


Have a great Friday night.

Kathleen, I am happy and relieved to hear from you. I JUST pm'd you.

Your son's track sounds quite familiar to me. If he follows along the way of my two relatives, he will improve with time. The late teens and early 20s were a nightmare for my brother, who is now in Europe on a six week vacation, happy as could be.

I understand your daughter's feelings, too, and don't be surprised to find out that resentment is also involved. IN the middle of this, the other siblings feel they are not getting the attention they would be getting if the sick one were not acting up. It is a hard situation, and I pray he sees the light ( medication WORKS ! ! !) soon.

I am doing well with the exercise - not so much the eating. But, I have finally come to the realization that exercise is the very best medicine for me, both physically and emotionally. It is working wonders. Occasionally I have to give myself a pep talk. I think how not everyone, and probably not many, is on no prescription meds at this point in life. I take a multi-vitamin for women 50+ and a combo fish oil capsule daily - that is it. The exercise is my medication. Take care, my friend.

Monica

HI Monica, it's great to see you here.


Hi to the new ladies, charliebear and lotus goddess. We are so glad you are here with us.


I apologize not posting to all of you. I am having a rough few days. I will do my best to open up and post. I just feel like not talking and not leaving the house.


Have a great Friday.

Hey everyone,


I have done a lot of thinking the past couple of days. I have to do something about my weight, I continue to gain and I'm at my largest. I know when I really start working on my house, getting it ready to move, I will probably lose some. It will be hard work. I really don't want to move to Washington being this huge. I ignore or put my weight, I set it aside and don't really let it sink in just how big I am.


I have been drinking less pop so that is something.


Where is everyone?

Hello!!! :hug: first a :welcome: to charlie bear and lotusgoddess. Lotusgoddes, I am so sorry you had such a horrible time getting to your appt, but applaud you that you DID. I hope you recovered a bit from that hard day!!

HI to my Ups and Downs friends!! i am SO very sorry I've been so MIA. Nothing bad, it's summer, and I just am always either working, or on the bike, or working on the lawn, or cleaning up this mess of a house :D or planning what I'm doing at work the next day. So active is great for me, but I have not gotten back into the workout routine. But hearing EasySpirit speak of how very well she is, and owing it to the exercise, might nudge me!! it is so hard for me to do anything when it is very warm, but I should try harder. I still have some basic fitness but nothing like I used to.

Lisa, Hi :hug: and very sorry you are having some down days!! glad you got to visit Jennifer and talk and talk. And visit Ruby :) Ugh to dealing with estate matters that take forever, I know about that. Are you still planning on doing the move out of state? sorry I don't know that. I always try to remember your words to me to help my self esteem :)

Kathleen HI :hug: OH I'm sad to hear that your son is not always doing what is prescribed, but very glad to hear of some glimmers of hope?? You are so good with your faith, that is your rock :cool: and WHOA at your daughter going to try out for the Paralympic Sled Hockey team!! :cheer2: How wonderful :) and how is your condition?? do you have the edema problem still? thinking of you :hug: and love how you address everyone personally! Oh yes the wedding went so well, it was beautiful and simple, the ceremony outside on a huge green lawn with the backdrop of Mt. Mansfield (tallest peak in Vermont, 4200 ft) and the reception was in a backyard, with a big tent, and little 'sections' inside, like the music area, you could sit on an antique couch that was on a rug and listen to the guitarist, stand by the tall top tables with twinkling votive lights, a simple bar, potluck food section, and then my cake pops :D which I have to say were so pretty and pretty darn delicious! thank you for asking :)

EasySpirit, you are to be commended for your consistent exercise which has shown to be soooo very beneficial for you :) that is SO great!! :carrot: and inspiring!!

Coop - so I am behind in knowing what is going on, you did start the new job? and how is it going? and how is everyone there feeling about the economy and the huge change??

Think I did speak of working some more hours for that famous winter boss of mine :devil: truly, all i have to do is walk in there and they say 'are you here to work Holly??" and they are all tearing off their aprons to leave. Haha! Becaue my husband works from 3 to 11 pm, it just seems okay for me to do my regular baking summer job from around 8 a.m. to around 3 pm, and then a couple hours for the Rat Boss. I like the $ and I like being able to earn it so easily.

Hey a dog bit me the other day :( He belongs to a tenant of the Rat Boss, and he is a rescue, and 'supposed' to be getting used to people, and the dog's owner said to me 'you can pet him' so I tried, and SNARL SNAP on the back of my hand. It did break the skin a little. Really minor but I am GLAD the dog is current with all shots, and I am current with tetanus. I will never go near that dog again! It is a Chow and they are apparently very difficult dogs!

Was interviewed on a local radio station this morning, to plug our Toy Run http://unitedmotorcyclists.org/wp/vt.../toy-run-2016/ which is this Saturday! During my first years of being President my stomach would be churning at the thought of this coming up but it is old hat for me now :D I know everyone will do what they are supposed to and it will be fine. We have special guests this year, Miss Vermont, and our Lt. Governor! He is a motorhead, he owns a race car and two motorcycles, and will be riding one of them in the parade! cool huh :cool:

anyone have a garden going? we will have tons of cherry tomatoes in a couple weeks I hope, and I have counted at least 4 pumpkins, and close to 7 of those gigantic squashes that I grew last year. Fun stuff!

so lots of love to you all and I'm so glad this thread is still going!! :bravo:

charliebear - i just read your response to Lauren on a different thread, WOW I am impressed with your advice and your thoughts and your life and your relationship with your husband!! :bravo:

I am married to a great guy. I think everyone deserves one, and you don't have to be at goal weight to find him! I hate guys that undermine a woman's confidence, especially a guy so obviously vain. I've met guys like this, the one's who think that if they tell you they cheat then you shouldn't get mad because they are so urban, chic, and civilized. There is more to their arguments, but I'll never know because I couldn't hear it through the door to my apartment. :)

Just a quick check in! :welcome: to thelotusgoddess and charliebear99!!! So happy you both found us and posted! :)

I have been busy with family matters. My niece was in a horrible car accident last Thursday evening and we are just thankful she survived! Then, her sister (my other niece) got married this past Saturday. My son is still struggling, but seems to be doing a slight bit better and is preparing to start back to college on August 22nd. We all have some reservations about him starting back to school right now, but he really wants to go and he does need some direction to his life, so he is proceeding ahead with it. He will live on campus. I am just hoping and praying with all my heart that he will be able to be successful at college and get back on his path to "normalcy" again. He needs a break!

It is really good to hear from you, Holly, and also from Monica. I appreciated your private message as well, Monica. :) Lisa, congratulations on your new kitten!!! I hope you decide on a name soon and that she brings lots of love into your life! :hug: Animals sure have a way of doing that! You still have your dog, right? Is it Elvira? Does she get along with the new kitten? I hope so! Coop, how is the new job going and how are things with the OH? I hope you are both hanging in there as best as possible under the circumstances. Sending love and hugs your way! :hug:

Kathleen, I am so sorry to hear about your niece. You really have a lot to deal with. I pm'd you again the other day. You are very strong.

Holly, I was very happy to hear from you. How was your son's wedding? How is the boss treating you? It sounds like you are having a great summer. I am dreading the winter - last year's was mild for the Cape, but I still have a bit of ptsd from the winter before. If we have another one like that, I am going to start looking for a place to rent or buy in Florida, Arizona or Georgia, so I can get away for January, February and March. I would never sell my home here, but would like an inexpensive little condo in a warmer climate.

Lisa, have you named the kitten? I like the name Irma for a female cat - my aunt had a wonderful cat named Irma- almost human-like.

Greetings and welcome to everyone else.

Frustrated!!!
 

Well, 4 days since my last post and after paying our son's tuition to college, he told me today he just can't go through with school right now. He is still too emotionally fragile. Although his timing is bad (since we just paid and since he was supposed to move in this coming Tuesday), it is actually somewhat of a relief to me, because I couldn't imagine how he was going to do all that would be required of him in college when he was having a hard time just showing up for a doctor appointment. But now I need to go through the hassle of all of the emails and phone calls to try to get a refund, to notify housing so his roommate can hopefully get another roommate, and I am also hoping to get his enrollment deferred to a later semester so that he won't have to go through the entire application process again next time (once he's ready to begin classes). The lady I've been dealing with at Otterbein has been so helpful and very understanding of my son's situation because she said she has gone through this situation (of anxiety & depression) with her brother. That has been a relief and a huge help to us. I hope she will be able to help us now, too. I just want my son to get the help he needs. He is feeling VERY depressed again and even said today that he thinks he might need to go back inpatient again. :( I feel like this will never end. I don't tell him that, of course. But I know he feels that way, too, which makes me so sad. :cry: He is a good guy with a huge heart and he has just lost his way. He so deserves to be happy and that is my greatest wish for him right now. It is SO heartbreaking to watch him suffer. :cry: I have been doing a lot more emotional eating lately due to this whole situation. The only good part of this (emotional eating) is that I am very aware of the fact that I am doing it. Now I just need to reign it in. Easier said than done, but I can do it! Thank you for being here my friends and for letting me vent. It truly helps and I am grateful for all of you and for this group! ❤

Sorry for being absent so much recently, I hope you're all alright! I'm going to do a catch up over a few posts so I don't lose anything...

Kathleen: thanks for the new thread! I hope your son's outpatient therapy is helping, and he's doing better with his meds. When will your daughter's tryouts be? Can't be long now! Would she be taking part this year?

Lisa, you sound like you're really going through a tough patch with losing your mum and the upcoming move and your health too! Sometimes the universe likes to throw everything at us a bit thick, we get more than our fair share. I hope you recognise how strong you can be, you have pushed on through quite a lot of @$=#!

Monica- I really need to get your exercise bug, it's very impressive! Have you been sailing anywhere nice lately?

Kathleen, I completely understand your relief. You were dreading your son's move to school as you were remembering what happened last time. Think how much easier this is - he did not start and have to leave, you will no doubt get reimbursed. And, if it is a hassle, think of it as something to occupy your head. I think it is good that he realizes there is no way he is ready for school at this time. And, there is no saying he will be ready for next semester either. It might be time for him to put thoughts of school on the back burner and concentrate on getting well. I hope he is about to be admitted into a hospital for a lengthy stay, then go to a day program at the same facility. That is what saved my brother. He now - that he is happy and those days are long behind, thank God - says he thinks everyone should go "in for a tune-up now and then," and if he could afford it he would go for a week every year.

Kathleen, please remember to take care of yourself first - you are no help to others if you don't.

Hello to everyone else.

Holly - I love your description of your sons wedding, that sounds so lobely! How are the happy couple getting on? Have you been baking anything good recently?

I started the new job 2 weeks ago, it has been really good so far. I think I made the right decision, it's just good to be doing something different, although I had a bad day on Monday and had a go at one of my new colleagues to stop talking about their favourite cigarette brands in front of me (it's exactly 1 month since OH's dad died, and it was smoking related).

Good luch with your toy drive!

Lisa - i love the name Lily, ot's so pretty! Please post a picture if you can :)

Kathleen- sorry about your niece's accident! How is she doing? I am so sorry your son has changed his mind for college, but it sounds like a good thing for him just now. You are having quite a lot thrown at you just now, I hope you're able to get some time for yourself, but if there is anything we can do (even if it is from afar) just give us a shout! Times like these, we realise just what we're capable of, you seem to have broader shoulders than most of us!

I know I have posted multiple posts to you all but I was catching up in order of individual posts!

I forgot to say hello to our newbies Thelotusgoddess, charliebear99!

I know I've been absent recently, between my new job and also just making sure I keep my OH occupied, I haven't had much time to stop by. I have been indulging my OH in a lot of food-shaped treats (popcorn, takeaway, chocolate, dessert), and I've gained back nearly 10 of the 14lbs I lost over the first bit of the year. I am going to start exercising to lose it if I can!

Coop, I really don't have the exercise bug- I am forcing myself to go to the Y, to the beach and to yoga. I am doing a minimum of an hour of exercise a day. I keep telling myself, "I am 63 years old, still overweight, and not on any meds at all -because I exercise." In the past few years I have gone from 30 minutes 3 or 4 times a week to my new schedule. I look better, feel better physically and emotionally, I am sleeping better, and I have tightened up.

I am convinced exercise is the reason I am on no meds and my blood pressure, cholesterol, actually all my blood counts are perfect. Exercise also helps tremendously with depression and anxiety. I highly recommend it.

Monica

Hello!

Holly, I realized when I read a different post that I missed the description of your son's wedding, so I went back and found it. It sounds like it was a perfect one!

Lisa, I hope your little Irma is as fun as my aunt's cat Irma was. She was basically an indoor cat, but occasionally would dash outside. Then, when she was ready to come in, she would jump up and ring the doorbell! When you said Hello, Irma, she would Meeeoooooow to you! She really was fun. She would take shiny items and hide them in a recliner. My aunt had Irma for about 20 years, and everyone who knew Irma would say she was more human than cat.

Lisa, you might want to just keep doing what you always do with Jennifer - email or text or whatever and not mention her little snit - eventually she will respond. It might not be worth making a big deal out of, especially since you did nothing to warrant this treatment. She might be upset about something that you have no idea of, but is taking it out on you - isn't that what daughters do???

Kathleen, please drop a line when you can to let us know how you are doing.

Hello to everyone else.

Glad jennifer got in touch, and that she was able to help pick Lily's name!

Hope everyone is ok here. We're missing a few at the mo!

We held a memorial for the OH's dad on Friday, that has drawn a line under the service, so I hope we can start to get things in order again. OH and I ended up having a bit of an argument after though... I have a chronic pain condition, and my OH was a bit insensitive about it, pointing out things like how I can't have kids etc. I felt bad for arguing with him under the circumstances, but it was a horrible thing to bring up in public.

Now this is all out the way, I'm looking forward to cooking some healthier meals again, and hopefully losing a few lbs.

I'm Back :)
 

Hello everyone :hug:

So, I had posted and update in another thread I am in, but I thought I'd come here as it's more appropriate to post here.

1 month ago my mom had a heart attack and was put in ICU. Over the course of a month she has coded 4 times, been on a vent on two separate occasions for 4 days each, had heart surgery, another heart surgery to place a defibrillator and pacemaker, had a stroke, and a few other things that are a bit less severe. Yesterday makes 1 month in the hospital, and today she'll be transferred to inpatient rehabilitation. My mom is OK, she is alive which nobody expected, and for the most part has all of her cognition to her.

The last month, though, I've completely been stressed, overwhelmed, depressed, tired, anxious (very, very anxious) and completely out of sorts. I am the only child, my parents have been divorced for years, and the majority of this has rested on me. My routine, and life, had gone in complete upheaval. The hospital is over an hour away from my house, so it was a lot of driving as well. It appears as things will be (hopefully) getting back to some normalcy (of course, not only for me but for her too) and the rehabilitation center is right around the corner from our house. TBH, I'm struggling. I haven't lost (or gained) any weight in about 2 months. I'm having a re-acclimate to everything again (work schedule, self care, diet/exercise, etc.)

So here I am. Back after a month hiatus. I've missed 3FC and hoping to settle back into my life

:)

Jessica: so sorry to hear about your mom and your last month! How stressful that must have been for you. I hope your mom does well in her new rehabilitation centre. Unfortunately these are times where diet understandably takes a back seat, I know you've not lost anything, but I'm pleased you didn't gain either - I certainly would have in your shoes! Hope all goes well getting back into your routine.

Thanks so much for your support. Yes, and quite true, diet has taken a back seat. It's frustrating because I've come so far, but have so far to go :dizzy:

New here
 

Hey my name is Daniella. I weigh 180 pounds and I'm 5'7. I really like to weigh at 140 but not having much success.... I'm emotional eater...I eat when I get bored, happy, sad, ....watching TV. I eat mostly fried foods and carbs. I have just incorporated fruits and veggies buy juicing. Only way I eat it which by drinking it. I'm joining to stay moviated ....I got a gym membership to lose weight, but no one to go with me so I have no one to keep me accountable. Anyhoo, I'm going tonight, just cuz I don't feel as depressed. Probably just going to jog for an hour. Wish me luck :) ohh and I'm 32 years young.