Ups & Downs Support Group: May 2016
 

Arggggh!!!
 

p.s.
 

Kathleen - so sorry! I get your names mixed quite a lot, but I usually catch myself :o memory of a goldfish on forgetful pills... Thanks for asking about the toothache, still sore, but I feel reassured after seeing my dentist :)

Lisa, thanks so much for starting the new thread :)

Hello! Many thanks to Lisa for starting new thread. I am posting from my Kindlefire for this post so I can easily show you the pics from our horrendous back porch cleanup

That is a stacked washer/dryer that we got for free and never took advantage of (roll eyes) and it is at least flush with the wall now. There are a few storage bins that did not get opened or looked at but you can see at least there is a path now!

Lisa - so sorry you are just not feeling up to much here, that is OK!!! we WILL keep it going :) I hope so much you can find some employment that you enjoy and is not hard on you physically. much love to YOU!

Coop - it is difficult to keep the names straight isn't it, we know who you are talking to :) Hope your wisdom teeth stop bothering you, and we understand that you don't want to post possibly sensitive job info.

purplecow - well heck girl we are so envious but proud of you being able to drop pounds!!! :cheer2: YES if you have some easy to follow secrets that don't involve being hungry :rofl: let me know :D

Kathleen - hugs to you!!! so very very sorry to hear the tension is bad now. You are such a good mom to be aware that you don't want to 'push him away' by offering advice, that is so hard I know! If the situation is working, on having him at the lake house while you aren't, I guess that is what you should do for now. BEST wishes!!!

I don't have a similar situation to commiserate with, except for being a parent, wanting the best for your children; our older son has spent probably thousands of dollars over the years on dvd movies, games, and on online gaming and what I feel are a waste of money AND time AND alienates people from society; technology is great but I KNOW it has kept him from socializing and he is single and only has had a couple dates in his life :( but I do not bug him about stuff, we are very proud that he bought a house last year, he must be OK financially to do that, hopefully the house takes up all his money and he won't waste it on online games!!

OH and isn't it frustrating when you lose long and thoughtful posts!!

EasySpirit way to go on being on a South Beach-y type plan, it does work if one follows it, that is for sure. I hope you can stay away from the dreaded sugar monster. We have had some really nice sunny days but the warmth is just not here yet. I have a few daffodils blooming but very tiny green leaves in the woods.

Yes we are missing Miss Catinhat! And I know Fi is ok, have 'seen' her elsewhere on forum.

Tomorrow, just for a quick bit of cash, I am working for the Rat B@st@rd :D just for 4 hours, I can bear that.

Kathleen I will send :dust: from here, I don't know how I have been able to keep up with the workouts, and I just can't keep myself from playing around in the dirt outside when it's nice :D so someone please send ME :dust: to stop eating so much.

I have to face something hard for me, tomorrow evening, at our monthly motorcycle group meetings, I am SUCH a wuss about confronting issues, I am the original "lets not have any conflict and I want everyone to like me"; but I have to face that if someone has a different opinion about something, it doesn't mean they don't like me or are mad at me...it's just sooo hard for me to deal with conflicting opinions. We are very lucky in our group that we agree on most everything usually. Well I am the damn president LOL and I need to buck up.

Kathleen,

Truth be told, I forgot to start the new thread too. I went into the old thread and someone mentioned the month had changed so I started this one. I half-assed the first post in this thread. I couldn't remember what we usually say when starting the new thread.

I feel really bad. I am so focused on posting about my problems, I don't tell you how worried I am about what goes on in your life. I am concerned about your family and your son. I do care. I don't always tell you like I should and i'm really sorry about that.

Much love to you, Kathleen.

Dear Holly,

Your porch looks great. That must have been a ton of work. I bet your are proud of it now, though.

I am going to make myself post. I know you all are doing really good posting but I can't leave it to you to do all the work on the thread. I would miss it if we all stopped posting. Even if I only post small stuff, I'll keep coming back.

Working as a Home Health Aide will be hard but it's not as physical as the Hallmark job. It is important for me to get back to work, maybe, it will pull me out of the funk I'm in. I will probably have to get some new scrubs, the old ones have seen better days, plus they are a bit tight on me.

Much love to you, Holly.

Wow!!!
 

Holly: Holy cow! I am so very impressed with your porch clean-up job!!! The photos show such incredible progress. Good for you!!! Wish I could clear my clutter so effectively. I'm gonna channel my "inner Holly" as I aim to tackle my own hot spots! :lol:

Lisa
 

Lisa: Thank you for giving me the time of your interview. I will be sending extra prayers at 1pm EST tomorrow (the 4th). (I'm in Ohio, too!) I will be anxious to hear how it went! Good luck! :)

Coop
 

Coop: I didn't intend to make you feel bad about mixing up me and Holly. :( But I must admit that you cracked me up with your comment about a goldfish on forgetful pills! :lol:

Slowly but surely getting back on track. I'm doing basic calorie counting now and am using myfitnesspal. Not currently exercising but trying to add that in soon. Still working on my anxiety and this job is still stressing me out but I can only do what I can do. Focusing on things I can control and continuing to pay off my car and slowly losing weight. I'm finally back down to 228 now.

:cheer2: Yay to you for focusing on things you CAN control! Paying off a debt does give you such satisfaction, chipping away bit by bit. And congrats on dropping pounds!!

Thanks! and heehee at channeling your 'inner Holly' - unfortunately that means 'waiting til you almost blow a gasket then have a throwing-out frenzy' :rofl:

I hope things with your family are manageable Kathleen :hug:

Thank you Lisa!! we were thinking of you yesterday, about your interview. *Hope* it went well :hug:

...and hello to Coop, purplecow and EasySpirit :)

as you can see from above I am afraid of losing long posts :devil: so am not tempting Fate and doing shorties :D

We had so many sunny days in a row and now, we haven't seen the sun since, oh man, last week?? day after day of thick clouds, some rain some days. And some of those days were just raw, low 40's. But today it is at least in the mid 50's even with thick cloud cover, so I did spend some time digging up crowded clumps of daylilies, prying them apart, and planting them in bare spots.

I STILL have time off, woohoo :D I did a 4 hour stint for the rotten winter boss yesterday, and I must be feeling some tranquility because I didn't mention the $2 bonus to him or my co-workers :devil: I think my day to go back to the good summer job is next TUesday, the 10th.

Been doing some kind of 30 minute workout each morning, mostly cardio drills which I hate, I would rather be on the floor doing ab work or even using 9# dumbbells, than running in place or doing jumping jacks :devil: but I am forcing myself. However modifying greatly to save my knees.

hope all have a happy-ish day :D

Holly, My interview got changed to next Tuesday. I still needs to get my paperwork together for the interview so that helps.




I have had a **** day today. I lost my only car key. I turned my car and living room inside and out looking for it. Behind the couch I found my original car key, I am so thankful. Now I still need to find the key I lost this morning. At least my car is getting cleaner but I am still stressed. Once I get myself all worked up, it's hard to calm down.


Much love to you all and Rin, welcome to the thread. :)

Hi All,

Rin - good luck with your debts! It's a great feeling when you get everything paid off!

Holly - amazing job on the clear out! You'll hardly need the workouts after that, but i'm impressed you've been keeping up with them.

Lisa, I hope the interview goes well next week now. I'm sorry to hear your car key had you so stressed, it's horrible trying to come down after a frantic search like that.

I'm in a strange mood at the moment, it's like I'm up and down at the same time. Work has been stressful, personal life has been stressful, my tooth still aches, but at the same time I feel quite upbeat. I wonder if my medicatio is doing funny stuff to my mood...

That is odd, but good to hear you feel upbeat! but sorry about the stresses and oh gosh, tooth pain is a bad one :(

Lisa, gosh isn't it frustrating when you lose something so important! at least you found the original.. :)

Yesterday we FINALLY had sun and warmth! got up to 70 :sunny: spent almost all day outside playing around in the dirt. Dug up, divided, and replanted a peony that really needed it, I hope I didn't kill it :eek: supposed to wait til September but I never remember then.

Today we're going to our older son's house for a small housewarming party, just him, our younger son, husband and I, and my sister ..I'll let you know how I survive her :devil: I WANT to be friends with her but its hard.

Hello,

Holly, your porch has inspired me to tackle my garage; one side is fine, the other a nightmare.

Kathleen, hope things are going well for you. You are in my prayers.

Lisa, any news on the new job?

Congratulations to those doing well. I fell off my sugar-free wagon, or I should say JUMPED, yesterday in a big way with chocolate zucchini tea bread, which lead to ice cream. I can only last so long without a sugar binge. My weight is about 157, up 10 from the Fall, and it was even higher a month or so ago. It is so discouraging, but I am back on the South Beach type diet today...no wheat, no potato, no sugar, no fruit for five days. UGH!

Greetings to everyone. Take care.

Monica aks EasySpirit

Well :tantrum: I just lost a long post.... Will try shorter ones.

Holly - we all need an "inner Holly" or the ability to rent you out!

Lisa - :hug: and prayers for you!

Kathleen - Sorry about your son and I hope he finds support he needs

Holly asked about my "secret". I don't know why I've been so successful this time when other times I've failed. I'm down 30 lbs and still going on the Ideal Protein diet. Its very restrictive, but I just keep on because the results inspire me. I also have a good friend who i had to move away and leave who has lost 125 on weight watchers. I'm so proud of her and was inspired as well.

My daughter and I went to an outlet mall and i was weeping for joy in the dressing room at Ann Taylor. Most of all because i'm finally out of the plus sizes and also because i loved the blouse for $10!

I have been weepy lately, not sure what that's about. Kind of that "pregnant cry at everything" weepy feeling. Maybe i'm just emotional.

Stay strong everyone (find your inner Holly!)

Hello friends! :wave: Oh gosh now I feel you have elevated me to where I am not really :devil: if you could see how lazy and unmotivated I am sometimes..but if my crazy-dervish-cleanups inspired anyone, then that is pretty great :D I have to say, that being able to take stuff to a local (10 miles away) place is the only way I can afford it, useable household stuff (even if dusty and dirty) is free; hardcover books are .50 for a box, paperback books are free, recycling (cardboard boxes) free, scrap metal (broken fans?? why does my family COLLECT broken fans, lol) free.

Hi Purplecow, I do like that cute poem :D and wow congrats :cheer2: on your smaller-size blouse steal! :D Hi EasySpirit, best wishes on keeping the Sugar Monster at bay. And HI to everyone else :hug:

I am struggling (always) with deciding when to eat, what to eat, what NOT to eat that is available. I try not to eat just because, let's say, my husband is leaving for work soon and he prepared a meal, enough for both of us; but if I'm not hungry then I shouldn't eat. But then the delicious looking food is right there, and I have it anyway. And then I tell myself that shee-it, I'm 55 and I am just as worried about my appearance as I was when I was 20, when does it stop?

I am *trying* to focus on the health aspect instead; yeah I have tree trunk legs but they get me where I need to be, carry me around when I am doing that crazy clean up. I do a workout not because I am striving to look *hot*, it is so I can work a full day on my feet, then come home and mow and weedwhack.

Lisa
 

Lisa: Did you have your interview today? I am thinking about you and wondering how things went. Please let us know when you can. I am sending a BIG hug :hug: since you need all you can get. Hope you are being patient with yourself as you continue the grieving process. :hug:

Rin
 

Rin: It is so good to hear from you again! Thanks for checking in! Good luck with your calorie counting and MyFitnessPal! We are all cheering you on! :cheer2: Sorry to hear that your job is stressing you out. But happy to hear that you have a good attitude about focusing on the things you CAN control. I am constantly working on that!!! Congrats on the weight loss! :carrot: Slow and steady is the way to go! :D

Holly
 

Holly: So did you start back to work at your summer job today? And, if so, how did it go? I am so much more relieved for you (as I'm sure you are too) when you are back to work at your much more pleasant summer job. Plus, with the weather warming up, you should be able to get back out on your bike, which I know brings you joy! :scooter: You continue to amaze me with your daily workouts. I so need to get consistent again with exercise. For some reason, I just keep putting it off lately... and then it gets too late to do it. No excuse, I know! I need to get my @$$ in gear!!! :o I, too, am trying to get back to eating ONLY when I'm physically hungry... and stopping when satisfied (and not stuffed). That is how I lost weight last year when I was doing that coaching program for emotional eating. If you can get in a flow and stay in tune with your body's cues, it isn't all that hard. You don't have to deprive yourself of your favorite foods... as long as you ONLY eat when physically hungry (at least 80-90% of the time; progress and NOT perfection) and STOP when satisfied. For me, it is SO much more doable than the diet mentality of restriction and deprivation. Some days are better than others. I guess it just depends how much :dust: I've been sprinkled with each day! ;)

Coop
 

Coop: Glad to hear that you are feeling upbeat, despite the stress in your work and personal life. And, darn, I hope that dreadful toothache goes away soon. Do you have any follow-up appointments with your dentist? Hope all is well with you by the time you read this! :)

purplecow
 

purplecow: Congratulations on being down 30 pounds!!! :carrot: :cp: :dancer: :broc: That is so AWESOME!!! :D I don't think anything is more inspirational than RESULTS! That must feel terrific to be OUT of plus sizes. I can't wait for those days again! I can get by with some XL tops, but I usually still need 1x in the cute stuff. :( What a great buy on that Ann Taylor blouse! Very happy for you! :) Keep up the great work!

Monica (EasySpirit)
 

Monica: So sorry to hear that you fell off the sugar-free wagon. :( Do your best to hop right back on board as soon as you can! Glad to hear that Holly inspired you to tackle part of your garage. That's great! I think we should designate HOLLY as our official "kick clutter's @$$" cheerleader! :cheer2: She also inspired me to go through some of the way too many t-shirts I have and put a large pile aside to donate. I have WAY more clothes to go through that I am not wearing, but at least I sort of made a dent. I am trying to find my swimsuits from last year. So far, I have looked several places with no luck :(, but I'm not giving up. We have a pool in our back yard, so I need/want to find them soon! I plan on swimming a lot this year for exercise. I'm not a very good swimmer, but just doing my sloppy amateur laps should help. We are going on a 5-day cruise in January, and I REALLY need to get moving on losing some serious weight. I had hoped to shed the weight by summer, but ready or not, summer is almost here and the weight remains. :( So my new goal is to lose major weight by cruise time. I try to look at each new day as a new opportunity to get things right in the weight loss department, but lately I feel as though the days are passing me by before I can get anything accomplished in that area. :( It is so frustrating!!! Best of luck to you on your South Beach type diet. You can do it!!! I will be cheering you on! :cheer3:

Purplecow - how frustrating to lose your post! Congrats on getting into the smaller bargain blouse!

Holly - you're right, it is so much more important to be healthy than to be slim! I'm not sure where the cut off is exactly, but you sound like you're doing well!

Kathleen - still a tiny touch of toothache, but getting better.

Still feeling quite upbeat - summer just arrived overnight here, it hadbeen unusually cold up to now, but suddenly the trees are all green again! My waistline is continuing to shrink slowly, I've lost 10lbs since changing medications. Unbelievable how these things impact us! Still a fair way to go though...

I am a mess. I am eating way too much. I am gaining a lot of weight. I havent been as honest with all of you as I should be. I honestly don't know what to do. I am seeing a therapist but...I just dont know what to do?

Lisa, I was the same with my mum. I'd be sitting there thinking "eating's not going to make it any better" while stuffing my face. I'd try not to, then think "not eating isn't making me feel any better either" and start stuffing my face again. It will pass. Why not try to distract yourself? Can you try knitting to keep your hands busy? Or do something to negate the calories - I know your back hurts, but is there anything you can do? Even just a slow walk?

Please don't feel bad for not being open, we know what you're going through. We're here when you need us x

Kathleen, I am trying something new with my Spring/summer clothes that I read in a magazine. I brought them down from my attic, laundered them, then turned them all inside out. When I am ready for winter clothes, I am donating any items that are still inside out! If I had them last year, and I do not wear them this year, they are going!! Then, I will do it with my winter clothes when I bring them down in the Fall.

If you still can't find your swimsuits, I have had very good luck buying them on swimsuitsforall.com and swimandsweat. I need suits for the beach and for the Y, so I am always on the lookouts for bargains.

Holly, how did the day go when you went to work for the rat b*stard?? Did he give you another $2.00 bonus? I am still working on the garage. Why do I have four crockpots? I use my small 1 1/2 quart one and my 4 quart one - I never use the huge one or the old round one! Why do I have three different size George Forman grills? Because I tell myself, you would use it if you had a larger one or a smaller one......... I have so many duplicates! They are go, go, going next year. I put a sticky note with the date on each one - If the sticky note is still on something in TWO years, that item is going.

Lisa, Coop is right - it is a very hard thing to go through. Sometimes you are fine, sometimes horrible - but you do get better. The first year and a half or so were really tough on me. I still have times when I want to show my mother something or ask her something or just talk with her, but it in no way can be compared to the first 18 months or so.

Hello to everyone else. Let's keep trying.

I'm sitting here today crying. I am so sad and scared. I am sad mom's gone and I'm sad that I am in such grief. It's been a long time since I had a depression and now that I am suffering, I'm just scared. I don't know how to heal.

Lisa - there are no quick fixes I'm afraid. I lost my mum 15 months ago now, and I still don't feel "there" yet. It's a long road. I have to say, my sister dealt with things by avoiding everything she thought would be too tough (I.e. Christmas), where my dad and I felt it better to just face the painful things and get it out the way. Everyone is different. My sister eventually came round to feel that it was better to face the painful things too though. Once you make it through the firsts (birthday, mother's day), you'll see you're capable of amazing strength, and it will help you get through the next big one.


My OH's dad is starting to feel his health decline again. I haven't mentioned his health for a while, but he discovered he had lung cancer in November, and had a course of radiotherapy in December. It shrunk the tumour (we know he's not curable), but his health is starting to decline again, a little sooner than expected. He's being tested to enrol in a new drug trial though, and I hope it will make a difference.

Lisa
 

Keep talking to your therapist and take it one day at a time. We're all pulling for you!

Thank you so much, Coop and purplecow. Seeing that there is hope in your posts helps me.

That is one of my fears, that this depression will never go away. I'm also afraid it will lead me down a path that I have been to before, having to be hospitalized. That is a huge fear, it scares the bejeezus out of me. Yesterday was awful, I cried so loud, I wailed. My dog was upset. I felt bad.

I'm supposed to go see a friend today, I don't feel like going, not sure if I will or not.


Thank you so much for understanding what I am going through and posting positive thoughts to me.