Lisa - in a really weird way, I find your posts reassuring that the way I reacted myself wasn't odd! I live in an apartment building and once wailed so loud, it woke the neighbours at 3am!! And our walls weren't that thin... When I talked to a friend about her depression, it surprised me how similar our struggles were, but at least I knew the reason for my depression (I've always had a reason for my depression, even before that). I know you're scared to go down that path, but I hope knowing the reason this time will help save you.

Coop, thank you so much for understanding my pain. Man, this is such a big adjustment, it's so ****ing hard. She's been gone a couple of months and in a way, I feel worse than I did when she passed. I guess it is sinking in that she is gone from my life. Thanks again for understanding.

To all the wonderful ladies that post here, I miss you.


I spent some of my day at the humane society. They are closing on June 9th, I am heartbroken. Where will all the strays of my town go? There isnt going to be anywhere.

Jennifer and I decided to adopt a dog and a cat, so we went today and looked. The cat we wanted had a bad eye and we were unable to adopt her. They told us she couldn't go to a home with other cats. I think that is stupid. They only had one other cat who wouldn't come see us. We looked at dogs too but came away without one.

They only had 3 dogs to choose from and were very busy. I think that is wonderful, perhaps they can adopt out all of the animals.


We are still looking for a kitten for Ruby.

I am still down today but whats new?

Thats all for now. Much love to all.

Lisa
 

Lisa: I'm so sorry I haven't been here the past couple days while you've been having such a hard time. Please hang in there... if not for yourself and Jennifer, then for all of us here in this group who love you, too! :hug: I am so happy that Coop and EasySpirit are able to share their experiences with you. They've been there and survived and you will, too. It is just going to take time. I am sending my prayers and a huge hug!!! :hug:

P.S. - Did you ever have that job interview?

I just got back to the Cape after a long weekend of Red Sox games, fun and too much eating - oh, well...back in the saddle!

Lisa, I was numb for the first few months - My mother died totally unexpectedly - she was combing her hair to go out to lunch when she said she had the worst headache in her life. A few days later we turned off the machines, and she did not take one breath; she had stroked out. That was in November, and I was numb through Thanksgiving and Christmas. I even had my usual Christmas get-together for my neighbors, had my house decorated, etc. I was in denial, numb, depressed. Whenever any of us were depressed or had any problem, my mother would say, "Put a smile on your face; put one foot in front of the other and MOVE!" So, that is what I did. The sadness took over in the early Spring; Mother's Day and my mother's birthday were tough that first year. Then, what was the second Thanksgiving and Christmas hit us all like a ton of bricks. Probably because of the time of year of my mother's passing, I am going to say it took 14-15 months for acceptance. I still want to ask her questions, tell her something, etc., but it is much, much easier to deal with.

I know the feeling that you will feel that horrible grief forever, but you won't. It lessens with time, which you need to give yourself. Go easy on yourself; do things that give you comfort. DO NOT berate yourself for feeling the way you do, and do not worry about the depth of your depression. It is NORMAL; it is a part of life. Losing your mother is one of life's greatest sorrows. But, you will get through it.


Hello to everyone else. I hope you are all doing better than I am on the dieting this week.

HI ladies,


I am feeling better, not so down. I've been taking my meds better than I did before. I hate taking my Lamictal, the pill is dry tasting. bleh I now see that it is important for me to keep up on taking it consistently. I haven't been laughing but my mood isn't so dark.


We got a kitten yesterday. He's so cute. I will try to post a picture.


I went to my job interview but the company has no clients in my area. I'd have to drive a ways to get to work. I decided to see what else is out there and keep looking. Meanwhile, I am broke. It's really hard.

EasySpirit, I do feel better as I said but yeah, the firsts are going to be really hard. My mom's birthday is next month, she would have been 85.


Kathleen, thank you so much for being so kind. Yours, EasySpirits and Coop's posts helped me a lot.

http://i18.photobucket.com/albums/b1...psfrv04bh9.jpg



I will post again soon. Much love to all.

Lisa
 

Lisa: It is so great to hear from you and to know that you aren't quite as down as you have been recently. I adore your new kitten!!! Thank you for posting a picture of him! Hope he brightens your days! :) What did you name him? You can't beat the unconditional love from animals! I love them so much!!! Too bad the place you interviewed at didn't have any clients in your area. That just means that something better is on the horizon for you. I have faith that you will eventually end up where you are supposed to be and I will continue to keep you in my prayers. :hug:

EasySpirit
 

EasySpirit: I like your idea of turning the season's clothes inside out and to give away any that are still inside out when the season ends. You sound much more organized than me, though. I often don't even do a complete switch out of clothes each season. I always find some strays from the past season in with my current season. Right now, it sounds too tedious to me to turn them all inside out..... but then that is probably just me procrastinating and avoiding the job. I am also still focusing the majority of my energy toward getting my son the help he needs. We continue to have issues nearly daily and he isn't taking his meds consistently at all, which isn't helping. And I hate to admit it, but I am pretty sure he has a substance abuse problem along with the anxiety and depression. :( I just hope he doesn't end up having to go inpatient somewhere, especially to the place where I was last summer. Uggh!!! :(

About the swimsuits, I have ordered from swimsuitsforall.com before. They have cute stuff. I am a little embarrassed to admit that I need mastectomy swimsuits that have the little pockets for swim forms. Yes, I know I recently had my final reconstruction surgery, but I am totally UNsatisfied with the size (or lack thereof) of my implants. I recently bit the bullet (since I STILL can't find my damn swimsuits) and ordered another one from Land's End (since they have some mastectomy swimsuits), which I like..... well, as much as I'm gonna like any swimsuit on me in my current SAD condition. I really don't even want to be seen in a swimsuit right now :fr:, but we have a pool in our back yard, so I WILL be swimming for exercise and to get some sun.

Anyway, I was thinking of your last message to me and remembered that I didn't respond to you, so I wanted to touch base. Thank you for the tips. Hope all is well with you! :)

My OH is really stressing me out right now. He keeps getting worked up about very small things, and then projecting it on to me, and I'm finding it quite hard.

6 months ago our roof started leaking at 2am, just a little drip, and he convinced me the roof would collapse in if I didn't wake a roofer up immediately! Last night our rabbit broke a claw, and he had me convinced we needed to go to the emergency vet (around $220 a trip), but I decided to call ahead to ask some advice, and the vet said it would be OK until today. OH wasn't convinced, and it was a battle to convince him we didn't need to ignore the vet and take her anyway.

He's obviously stressed out with his dad, and I'm being as patient as I can, but the stress is really taking its toll. These are not life threatening situations, but every time they happen, he's working them up to be awful... I don't know what to do.

Hello!
 

Hi all-
May I join you? I liked the title of this thread because it's so me. I struggle with ups and downs and it definitely affects my weight loss efforts, all excuses aside. Meds make me tired and maybe that's why I crave caffeine, which de-hydrates me and makes me crave sugar. Sugar and carbs give me a short burst of much needed energy, etc., etc. You know the story. The only exercise I can do now without too much pain (most days) is walking and that makes trying to lose weight as slow as molasses. Then, there's the being 44 years old thing; my metabolism is a joke. Help! So, thought I'd jump in if it's OK so I can get and give some support... Been a member off an on since 2009, but trying to get back on the wagon so here I am again.
Talk to you soon!
Karen ;)

http://i18.photobucket.com/albums/b1...psboa9krrd.jpg


http://i18.photobucket.com/albums/b1...psfyfdahgg.jpg


This is my boy. :)

My charger has stopped working. I may be gone for a while until I can get another one.


My Mac is almost dead.


Much love to all.


edit: I finally got it to charge but I think it's a good idea to get another charger. I'll try to let you know if it acts up again.

HI friends I'm so sorry I've been absent, it was Opening Week at my summer job and I put in 55 hours last week :eek: one day was over 13 hours straight, but I made it, got some CASH tips :carrot: and my paycheck next week will be suh-weet. Which is needed, because my car broke down (new water pump AND brakes needed) so there goes my sweet paycheck, easy come easy go LOL!!

LISA I love your new kitty!!! Felix is adorable and I love how you described him :) I hope he brightens up your days and nights all the time to bring you more fur baby joy :D I hope you remember to consistently take your meds if they help you. I'm glad others here have been able to help with your grief with your mom. I don't have anything to add in that area, my mom passed five years ago and I had to look that up because it 'feels' like it was only 2 or 3 years ago.

COOP I'm sorry you are being given a hard time!! :( and hope you can be the "winner" during the out-of-touch conversations. Yeah it is hard when our partner is going through something and then projects on an innocent person :( and hope the rabbit's claw is not an expensive thing to deal with.

EASY SPIRIT yay for your fun long weekend!! :carrot: here is that sometimes effective dust :dust: for anti-sugar strength. Oh and way to go on working on your garage items, lol @ the 4 crockpots, my DH will buy a new item when he can't find the old one, maybe that's what happened there. I liked the idea of the sticky note to check on next year!

KATHLEEN Hi and glad you have a swimsuit on the way, how nice to have a private pool that you will take advantage of :cool: hope you have :sunny: weather to enjoy lots of pool days.

:welcome: to Thinkin Thin of course you are welcomed here :)

I haven't gotten my usual load of annuals to plant yet, we *just* now have only entered temperatures that are OK for getting things outside, though our official 'safe' planting date for up here is Memorial Day weekend. Have only had to cut the grass once but soon it will be an almost twice a week gig. Am LOVING that it is light out so early, the chirping birds, and even now at 8:30 pm there is some light outside :cool: I LOVE THIS TIME OF YEAR :D

I don't even think I told of scraping and then painting half of our garage!! I did it in one day!!

Coop
 

Coop: So sorry to hear that your OH is giving you problems. I am a worry wart, but it is heightened because my hubby tends to go to the extremes on things easily. I never know if I should worry more or worry less! :dizzy: Seriously, please feel free to vent here if it helps. And stand your ground when necessary! We are behind YOU all the way! :hug:

ThinkinThin
 

ThinkinThin: :welcome: to the group!!! We are happy to have you here! :)

Lisa
 

Lisa: Oh my goodness, Felix is adorable!!! And he sounds so playful and spunky, which I like in my animals. Never a dull moment! He will help to keep you cheerful and feeling loved. :hug: Hope your daughter's cat will come around and enjoy a new playmate! Thanks for sharing his pics! :)

Holly
 

Holly: Wow, it sounds like you started your summer job off with a bang! Sorry you have to spend your paycheck on your car, but thankful that you are getting a big paycheck so that you can afford the repairs. The glass is half FULL!!! ;) I am beyond impressed with the garage you scraped and painted in ONE day!!! It looks great! And you forgot to tell us?!? I'd be shouting THAT accomplishment from the rooftop! I have to say that you get WAY more accomplished than you give yourself credit for. ;) You are an inspiration to me! :hug: Have you been able to get out on your bike? :moped:

Hi ThinkinThin!

Lisa - felix is gorgeous! He looks so relaxed and comfortable with you :)

Holly - hope you've had a chance to relax after your busy week! Hope the car isn't too expensive, but hopefully once it's done, it won't need more for a while!

Kathleen - hope things are going well with your son!

Thanks for all the support guys, bunny is fine!

I don't know how my OH can be coping, he's lost 3 immediate family members to cancer already, and this is such a kick. I was only just starting to cope with my own problems when this all came up, it has been hard keeping my strong-woman exterior going.

I've been decorating this weekend, we now have a very pale yellow hall and a plum and mint bathroom. OH had to stay with his dad, who is on rapid downward slope leading up to his next round of treatment (chemo next), so I decorated both rooms myself. I had just finished cleaning the hall and was about to scrub the bathroom when OH came home, and after a half hearted compliment, started criticising how messy the place was. He was really vying for a fight. I managed to nip it in the bud, and he apologised later, but man is it hard not to snap. I really feel for him, but it is so hard being the one who takes all the stored up anger and worry...

Hello everyone, I was wondering if I might be able to jump in? Everyone here seems so supportive of each other, it's very nice. So I guess this is where I stand so far. Just this past week I was so bad that I could not get out of bed for three days. I called out sick from work on day 1 and the other two I couldn't even find it in me to pick up the phone and call again. I have been slowly regaining my desire to live life, and would like to try getting some exercise. I keep thinking about it, but can't seem to find it in me to actually get up and get moving. Has anyone else been through this? Might anyone have any advice on moving past your depression and exercising? Any tips would be greatly appreciated. Thanks helping me feel like I'm not alone. :-)

OH my gosh you deserve an AWARD for not breaking at that point! :o you are a super-understanding and patient person Coop to realise what is happening with him. But after painting (and I love the visual of a plum and mint bathroom!) and decorating all by yourself, and then not snapping at the criticising, you get a halo, woman ;)

I do have to ask though, and it is funny that I have let it go so long, but I don't understand your abbreviation of "OH". I know "DH" for Dear Husband, or "SO" for Significant Other, but I don't know what OH stands for :rofl:

beagonzales, yes a big :welcome: to you! I am so sorry you were completely incapacitated by your depression for 3 days. I myself have certainly spent the day in bed but somehow I have managed to do that only on my days off, I have a sense of structure of the workplace calling that overpowers my lassitude. But I have sure WANTED to hide in bed. As for exercise, gosh for me I just have to make myself do it. And sometimes that meant making myself swing both legs out of bed, get out of bed, put on my sneakers and force myself to the TV for a dvd.

HI to everyone else! :wave: Kathleen, I have been out on the bike a bit, but I must not be such a rabid rider nowadays, I have been enjoying working on the lawn instead.

Welcome beagonzalez!
 

beagonzalez: Of course you can jump right in!!! :welcome3: We are happy to have you as part of the group! :) There was a time after one of my twin sons died after birth and then I gave birth to a handicapped daughter 3 years later, after a high-risk pregnancy and other complications..... that I couldn't get out of bed for several weeks..... or maybe it was months. Happily, I don't remember too much from that time, except ~ like Lisa ~ I would pray that God would just take me in my sleep..... and then I felt guilty on top of the depression. I had two very young children depending on me and, thankfully, my husband and his mother took over with the kids until I was able to get back on my feet (literally). That was about 16 years ago. I have been hospitalized two times since then for manic episodes (I am bipolar). Only by the grace of God am I typing these words to you now. Therapy, meds, and LOTS of prayer is what got me through those dark times. I very slowly forced myself to begin to do a little housework at a time. Eventually, I built up enough mental and physical strength to begin to exercise. All of this happened over a long period of time for me. I had to go on for my children. That ~ more than anything (along with prayer) ~ is what finally got me out of that bed. I am sorry you are feeling so down right now. Do you have a therapist and/or are you on any medication? If not, I highly recommend both to help pull you out of this deep depression. And keep posting here if you can find the strength to do so. It really does help to have a place to go to vent and get support for how you are feeling. We will be cheering you on all the way to better health! :cheer2: :hug:

Hi beagonzalez! Welcome to the thread! I'm sorry to hear your having such a tough time. My only advice for exercise is that you just have to force yourself to begin with. Work in a short walk, pick a nice path you enjoy. Once you start, you'll find yourself wanting to do more.

Holly - I use OH for other half... we're not married, so I suppose I should use SO - I'm into the habit of using OH!

Honestly, it wasn't a big thing to get him to stop - I just said if he was going to be in a mood with me, I'd go eat dinner alone somewhere else. He was far less stressed last night, about back to normal. Trying to persuade him to come play a bit of tennis and take it out on a ball instead.

I'm just on my break, so will respond to others when I have more time!

Lisa, so glad is settling in so well. Cat's can be funny, I hope he bonds well with your other pets. I'm glad things are getting a bit better for you now you're more consistent with your meds.

Kathleen, I'm sorry to hear how tough things were for you. Faith can be really amazing for providing strength.

Gosh I should have figured that out ... I'm embarrassed to admit i thought you were referring to him as "Old Husband" :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

:rofl::rofl: I should start calling him that!
:rofl:

Oh
 

OH treated me to dinner out the other night and gave me a heart-felt thanks for my support and patience. Felt a lot better after that.

I'm in a funny mood just now - I'm feeling quite tired and can't be bothered cooking. Last night was pretty bad, I slept 4 hours after work and only ate a few crackers for dinner. I still managed 8 hours of sleep afterwards too. Need to go make breakfast now, but it's too much hassle. Feel a little hungry, but not hungry enough to be worth any effort!

Hey,


Sorry I haven't been posting. Things are just really rough here. I have no money and I need medicine soon. I am just scared and sad. I won't get a paycheck until the 3rd. Jennifer is gone until Monday. I might have enough medicine to get me through till Monday, I think so anyhow. I am just sad.



I need to do laundry and take a shower today. I am going to have to make myself.


Have a really nice weekend.

Lisa - sending *hugs* your way. You sound very low, I hope you manage to make your medicine last.

Lisa - my mother used to swear by rescue remedy, and a few months after she died, I started adding a few drops in water each day to help calm me. I found that they sell it in the US, so I thought I'd send you a link. It is really well known here, and I found it helped pull me through the worst of my grief. If you can afford a small bottle when you get paid, I would recommend it. I'd offer to post a bottle to you, but I have no idea how this sort of thing works through customs...

http://www.amazon.com/Bach-LA-AM-FU-.../dp/B00016QT7Q

I actually found $15 in my saving acct. That gives me enough to get my meds and yes, I have really good insurance. I am extremely lucky.

I'll have to check it out, thank you. Would it interfere with my meds?



I hope you all are having a great Saturday.

Lisa - I haven't heard of any drug interactions before. Their website says the usual 'none known, but consult a physician before taking'. It's unlikely to have an interaction, it's more like taking a calming vitamin than a drug.

Hey friends :) Lisa we hope you are feeling better SOON, it is sad to know you are not yourself and the money problem is always worrisome isn't it!! HUGS and love to you Lisa!!

Hi Coop and that product sounds very interesting, that is nice of you to provide the link for Lisa :)

Been very active and busy, working extra hours at both job, making money while I can, plus loving doing the outside stuff, yesterday I analytically looked at the area where I have the compost and recycling bin and stupid weeds always come up..so I took loads of newspapers and old cardboard, laid that down, then thick bark mulch over that, to hopefully suffocate those weeds. Then weedwhacked and mowed and the lawn looks SO nice for me to enjoy :)

Get to ride the m'cycle to work today :carrot: then come home and get the car, have an eye appt this afternoon, I NEED to get my prescription changed so I can see!!! wish me luck, I hate the process "Is this one better? or this one? This? or this? This? or this?" Hey Doc, they are ALL blurry!! :devil:

so obviously I am in my fantastic good summer mode :) and I wish everyone could feel this good. Love to all!

Emotional Day