Ups and Downs Support Group - Feb. 2016
 

:welcome3: to the February thread for the Ups and Downs Support Group!

This caring and tight-knit group is a great place to chat about the current ups and downs that you're facing. Whether you struggle with a mental illness or are just going through a rough time, feel free to tell us. New members are always welcome :)

Sending positive thoughts and hugs to you all!

Hello, thanks for starting the Feb thread ap14! thank you for your positive energy sent to us all :)

I feel all sympathy and empathy for those who are struggling with eating poorly, bingeing, etc, I have been trudging home, eating too much in front of tv, then going to bed at like 8:30...I know I am self-medicating with food, but it's all I can manage for now. I always improve when it gets nice outside, wish I could be OK year round.

I was doing really well with working out 4 x a week, then had to do more hours at work, and that was my excuse. I get so discouraged when I think of how motivated and fit I was just less than 10 years ago :(

well try to have a good day :)

Originally Posted by VermontMom:
Hello, thanks for starting the Feb thread ap14! thank you for your positive energy sent to us all :)

I feel all sympathy and empathy for those who are struggling with eating poorly, bingeing, etc, I have been trudging home, eating too much in front of tv, then going to bed at like 8:30...I know I am self-medicating with food, but it's all I can manage for now. I always improve when it gets nice outside, wish I could be OK year round.

I was doing really well with working out 4 x a week, then had to do more hours at work, and that was my excuse. I get so discouraged when I think of how motivated and fit I was just less than 10 years ago :(

well try to have a good day :)

No problem!

I understand the bingeing/poor eating. That was my life for a long, long, long time. I'd come home from school, eat junk (chips, cookies, diet coke), sleep, eat dinner, eat more, sleep. I wasn't in any sports or anything, so obviously I wasn't burning what I was taking in. I look back and I'm like, wow, I really should've gotten myself together then. It would've been a lot easier only 30lbs overweight rather than 70-90. Ugh. Depression didn't help at all either. Food was my comfort

Hey ladies,


Well, I am giving up my morning client. He is just draining me. I work so hard in the mornings for him. I do laundry, dishes plus get him ready to go to work. He is very needy. I am going to give him up. Part of me is relieved, part of me is disappointed. It is just the way it has to be.


Holly, so sorry you are having trouble eating the way you want to. I know what it's like to be drained. It's hard to have a balance.

ap. thanks for starting the thread. :)



Anyway, that is about it for now.


Edit: I've decided to work 2 days a week with my client. I need a break but still need some money coming in. Two days a week will be ok, I think.

Lisa - Sounds like a reasonable balance...i hope it helps you feel less worn out

VermontMom - I get the discouragement, looking back. I often wish I'd caught things earlier and developed healthy habits in place of the unhealthy ones I've cemented...I used to be thin and fit. I moved to University and it all went to ****. I've had ups and downs but never been within a healthy weight range since. The closest I've come was just before Christmas, in fact..and I am really disappointed in myself for tripping up and regaining since then. I'd be within healthy range by now if I hadn't! Argh.

But, I know that my disappointment will mellow as I get making forward progress again, and let time pass. I don't hate that I gained, originally, as much as I used to. I've learned a lot about myself and health and bodies and other people through the process of becoming obese and being forced to face some mental health problems and work my way out of that place....not saying I wouldn't have rather learned those lessons without getting fat...lol...nor that I don't wish it had all gone a lot bloody faster and more smoothly....but still. I sometimes think I'm a better, more self aware, more introspective, more empathetic person because I've spent such a time being overweight and struggling with it.

Now I'll have a healthy body I'm happy with though, please...

Originally Posted by Lisaluvshearts:
Hey ladies,


Well, I am giving up my morning client. He is just draining me. I work so hard in the mornings for him. I do laundry, dishes plus get him ready to go to work. He is very needy. I am going to give him up. Part of me is relieved, part of me is disappointed. It is just the way it has to be.


Holly, so sorry you are having trouble eating the way you want to. I know what it's like to be drained. It's hard to have a balance.

ap. thanks for starting the thread. :)



Anyway, that is about it for now.


Edit: I've decided to work 2 days a week with my client. I need a break but still need some money coming in. Two days a week will be ok, I think.

Please be sure to take care of yourself in the process ❤︎

Ap14, thanks for starting the new month.

Lisa, have you considered applying for different positions? This job seems to be really wearing on you.

Holly, I get where you are coming from with the weather - We have been luckier this year than last on the Cape - one blizzard so far - for the past week it has been in the 40s and 50s.

Holly, take a good look at the photo you posted of yourself at the fundraiser. There are many people who wish they looked as good as you do. Appreciate and be kind to yourself.

Fi, how is your pain level lately? I look forward to your collages.

Kathleen, how is everything going>

Bookmark, it looks as if you have lost a good amount of weight. Please don't dwell on the past. The only time you should look behind you is when you are parking your car or checking the back of your hair and outfit!

Take care, my friends.

Hello everyone,

Well, my decision about my job was taken from me. I received a letter in the mail last night that states the company I work for is closing. It is open until Feb 27th, after that it is closing. *sigh* I need to start looking for another job asap.

I hope you all are well. I will post to each of you either tonight or tomorrow.

Much love to all. :)

Originally Posted by Lisaluvshearts:
Hello everyone,

Well, my decision about my job was taken from me. I received a letter in the mail last night that states the company I work for is closing. It is open until Feb 27th, after that it is closing. *sigh* I need to start looking for another job asap.

I hope you all are well. I will post to each of you either tonight or tomorrow.

Much love to all. :)

Well, at least that stress is taken off of your shoulders...only to be replaced by something else :dizzy: Isn't that how life is?

My friend told me about a job up on campus at the fitness center (yes, I laughed too). I'm working on my resume right now and I want to get it submitted. The woman is desperately looking for people to work up there, so here's to hoping this is a quick and easy process!

Hello friends!
 

What a wonderful thread! I have suffered with emotional binge eating for many years now. I managed to get it under control with careful monitoring a few years ago, but it has been rearing its ugly head again. All problems can be solved with a batch of fresh baked chocolate chip cookies! Well...40 lbs later...not so much! Anyway, I'll keep my eye on this thread and hopefully get some inspiration.

Originally Posted by IBelieveInMe2:


ap14: Thank you for being a steady presence in the group lately and showing up for everyone with kind feedback! :) Hope you get the job at the fitness center! Please keep us posted.

No problem - thank you for the kind words :hug: I'm hoping I get it!


Well, it was bound to happen...the time of the month has rolled around. I feel awful, tired, and just overall lazy. I have to go to class at 3 and I'm really considering not going, but I have to. I'd skip my photography class, but we have a quiz today (of course). All I want to do is stay home, watch tv, and sleep.

Originally Posted by guacamole:
What a wonderful thread! I have suffered with emotional binge eating for many years now. I managed to get it under control with careful monitoring a few years ago, but it has been rearing its ugly head again. All problems can be solved with a batch of fresh baked chocolate chip cookies! Well...40 lbs later...not so much! Anyway, I'll keep my eye on this thread and hopefully get some inspiration.

Welcome! (love the username)

I totally relate to any problem being solved by those cookies ;) Something I've found helpful is to drink flavored water whenever you need that "quick fix". Walmart sells awesome flavored water that's carbonated, so it feels like a bottle of pop rather than water. The only problem is the added sweeteners...:dizzy:

Or even just some lemon water helps too. Lemon water is also great for your skin (I learned that yesterday. Woo hoo!)

up and down!
 

This is such a nice thread. Isn't ironic that a batch of chocolate chip cookies seems like the answer to our pain but it's really what causes some of the pain? UGH!! Depression is definitely my biggest roadblock when it comes to losing weight. Sending you all positive vibes.:flow1:

Ibelieveinme2 - thanks for your concern! We made it through Monday, it was hard, but it's behind us now. We kept ourselves busy and had some support from family.

Lisa, sorry to hear about the job, whether you like the company or not, it's not nice! I hope you find something better soon.

Boy do I sympathise on the binge eating! I have been very healthy throughout January, veg soups every day, fruit for breakfast, veg based dinners and just a few treats. But on Monday, I had a day off, and kinda went on comfort eating overload! I was genuinely apalled at myself. I'm just working hard at drawing a line under it and getting back on the straight and narrow. The time of year definitely doesn't help, but it will get lighter and warmer soon.

It's lovely to see the thread so busy :)

Welcome!
 

UberGinger: :welcome: to the group! Hope you will find some positive support here from the wonderful ladies in the group! Best of luck to you in your depression & weight loss journeys! We are here to cheer you on! :cheer2::cheer3: You can do it!!! :)

Welcome!
 

guacamole: :welcome3: to the group!!! Sorry that you struggle with emotional binge eating. So many of us can certainly relate! The good news is that you were able to get it under control and make a lot of progress before, so you KNOW you can do it again!!! ;) We will conquer our cravings together! :hug:

Coop27
 

Coop27: Glad to hear that you made it through Monday with support from family. I was thinking of you. Don't beat yourself up too much for your comfort eating. :^: That won't accomplish anything, except to make you want to seek comfort (possibly from food) again. It is in the past, so do your best to move on and focus on progress and not perfection! ;)

DARN it!!! I had long responses typed out to everyone, but had 2 tabs open to refer back to comments, closed the wrong one and lost it :mad:

I'll come back and try again!!!

Good Afternoon/Morning everyone!

TOM gave me an extra 3lbs which he gladly took back. Now I'm down 3 more than I was the other day. Woo!

My friend is coming home tomorrow and we're going to the gym together (to use that stair master) and then possibly going to get sushi. Yummmm

I hope all of you are doing well. I'll check in later!

Hope it's ok if I participate here as well, this is a nice thread. I hope you all had a nice weekend. Lisa, I'm sorry about your cmpany closing. It happened to my dad over 10 years ago and was tough, but I hope you find something soon.
My weekend was really needed. Hop it's ok if I vent, I have a very difficult pupil in the private tutoring institute where I work. We're not really qualified to deal with him and he is really the first kid I absolutely dislike. This has never happened before and I've been working there for six years. I'm almost scared of Fridays because I know I'll spend 90 minutes with that kid again and last Friday was bad! Usually, I like all the pupils there, even the more difficult ones, but I've been tutoring him for over 6 months and still dislike him even though I know he is a very troubled kid. And then my boss, who knows I like to drink tea, told me that they found some poisonous stuff (I think it's called PA) in tea and that someone got liver cirrhocis from one cup. She doesn't know I have bad anxiety problems and I don't want to tell her, but the rest of the afternoon was awful because I kept worrying.
I don't binge, but when I'm stressed, I will often opt for the quick, less healthy meal or forget to take a snack and then get a chocolate bar, but at least that I didn't do on Friday. I had taken a few small, low-calorie biscuits which I had instead.
What is generally getting to me: my fiancé and I want to get married in May, but because he is a foreigner, it's a bit complicated and our next appointment at the registry office is on February 29th which seems so far away. Before that, we don't get an official wedding date and can't plan things properly.

Callymay- welcome to the thread. I'm sorry you're having a tough time. My sister teaches like you, not trained for difficult kids at all! You will pick up as time goes on, and it does get a bit easier. Kids grow up and move on, so he won't be with you forever.

What a silly thing to say about tea though! I'm in the UK, and people drink A LOT of tea here, I've never heard of anyone getting poisoned from plain old tea... My OH has been drinking tea since he was 2yo, and has 6-8 cups a day (that's like 50,000 cups of tea in his life so far), and has never had any problems - you have nothing to worry about. I hope this helps put your mind at ease!

Originally Posted by CallyMay:
Hope it's ok if I participate here as well, this is a nice thread. I hope you all had a nice weekend. Lisa, I'm sorry about your cmpany closing. It happened to my dad over 10 years ago and was tough, but I hope you find something soon.
My weekend was really needed. Hop it's ok if I vent, I have a very difficult pupil in the private tutoring institute where I work. We're not really qualified to deal with him and he is really the first kid I absolutely dislike. This has never happened before and I've been working there for six years. I'm almost scared of Fridays because I know I'll spend 90 minutes with that kid again and last Friday was bad! Usually, I like all the pupils there, even the more difficult ones, but I've been tutoring him for over 6 months and still dislike him even though I know he is a very troubled kid. And then my boss, who knows I like to drink tea, told me that they found some poisonous stuff (I think it's called PA) in tea and that someone got liver cirrhocis from one cup. She doesn't know I have bad anxiety problems and I don't want to tell her, but the rest of the afternoon was awful because I kept worrying.
I don't binge, but when I'm stressed, I will often opt for the quick, less healthy meal or forget to take a snack and then get a chocolate bar, but at least that I didn't do on Friday. I had taken a few small, low-calorie biscuits which I had instead.
What is generally getting to me: my fiancé and I want to get married in May, but because he is a foreigner, it's a bit complicated and our next appointment at the registry office is on February 29th which seems so far away. Before that, we don't get an official wedding date and can't plan things properly.

Welcome to the thread! Is there a way that you can find help for the boy or find another way to teach him? Sometimes, if you can find the right way to have him express himself, he'll be a little better. Is there a way though that you can talk with someone maybe higher up and find him the help he needs?

Originally Posted by ap14:
Welcome to the thread! Is there a way that you can find help for the boy or find another way to teach him? Sometimes, if you can find the right way to have him express himself, he'll be a little better. Is there a way though that you can talk with someone maybe higher up and find him the help he needs?

I have been talking to my boss and to my colleague who tutors him in Maths. My boss is aware of the problems and there has been talk about telling the mother to take him out of the group, but I think my boss likes him - she doesn't have to tutor him, though. The kid is 12 and his situation at home is bad. The dad got divorced from his mother and moved back to Turkey, the mother has a shop in the city centre and works a lot and he has an older sister with autism, so the boy doesn't get any attention at home. He is very overweight, I guess because he often gets money to buy his own lunches which are generally very unhealthy (junk food which he brings to the lessons). He is in a group of 5 kids and really disruptive: he hums, smacks his lips, waves his arms, interrupts me constantly and often does the exact opposite of what I tell him to do. He brings pens he can't write with and then refuses to use a normal pen, writing ugly on purpose to show me he can't write with a normal pen and also keeps distracting the other kids. I realise he is desperate for attention and has nobody to talk to, but he is so disruptive I feel extremely exhausted after every lesson. He is intelligent, but got a 6 in German in his report (6 means failed) because he hardly ever does any work. Usually, I like even the difficult kids and it makes me feel bad that I dislike him so much. And my boss seems think it's fine for him to stay for now, so I really don't know what to do. And I seriously don't get paid well enough to be willing to do that to myself every week.

As for the tea, thanks Coop27, what you wrote has helped me a bit. My boss likes to get dramatic about stuff sometimes, I think and because of my anxiety, if she says stuff like this, that does hit me quite hard. She smokes, btw, so if I were her I would worry less about tea and more about smoking.

ugh. Unexpectedly sad this weekend. Partly owing to chucking in the diet. Partly just...lots of thoughts around feeling alone and not relating to people my age - don't want kids, etc. Single. Living in a place with not much going on and not many people I know/like..sigh. That spiraled into some thoughts about where I am in life and that this might just be the case going forward, as people increasingly retreat into family units, etc.

I'm feeling slightly better today, hoping to be able to move back to a city in the Summer...but starting over yet again is a bit weary-making.

Just generally down. Eating crap as a result.

Sending positive thoughts. I hope you will feel better soon.

I've been depress for 2 weeks now. :(

Maybe because my boyfriend and I broke up for almost two weeks now.

He made me feel inferior to the point where I just couldn't take it any more and dumped him. Now I'm sad because he's saying hurtful things about me. My co worker / friend (who is a married woman) said he chatted with her a few times after we broke up, hitting on her. She said she disappointed in my taste in men as am I.

Now he, a 24 year old man, is hitting on my co worker/ friend daughter who is a 12 year old girl. :no: The girl apparently was on her way to school when he approached her.

Bookmark - sorry you're having a bad time, I hope you feel a bit brighter soon. I can completely sympathise with your lack of feeling g settled where you are. I hope your move goes well, and I hope you find some good activities to help you meet people. It's hard! Why did no one warn us meeting people was hard?

Jessica888 - sorry about your break-up. People can be very spiteful when they've been dumped and weren't expecting it. Clearly trying to make you jealous, but hopefully he will back off soon. 12 year old girl though... That's a whole new level of wrong...

Jessica888, I'm sorry about the break-up and how you are feeling. The 12-year old girl, though... sounds scary to me. I'm hoping he will bak off and you will be feeling better soon.

I have been really discouraged about the situation with my difficult pupil because last Friday was so bad. I now have 5 pupils in that group, the maximum number for a group of pupils in that place, 2 in grade 7, 2 in grade 6 and one in grade 3(!). The 3rd grader turned out to be extremely difficult as well and 5 pupils, 2 of them difficult in a way I have never experienced before, is too much. I am seriously not coping. I have had kids with ADHS and dislexia and anxiety over school, but these two, especially A, the one I have had for over 6 months, are way beyond that and way beyond anyting I can handle. My boss got irritated at first, telling me she couldn't just change it (even though she had told me I should let her know if I can't handle A because she had told his mother we couldn't help him. Eventually, my boss realised that I was really upset and said she would try to put A in a different group, but she couldn't do that immediately, so I will need to cope with him and the difficult 3rd grader for a few more weeks. I'm already scared of Friday, the next time I will have that group.

new to this site, new to this group
 

I'm new to the group and haven't started a weight loss plan yet, just working on getting my ducks in a row so I can start something next week. I'm nervous about sharing here, but I am also hopeful that I can find a community and connection that works for me. Struggle with depression and weight. Any suggestions for getting started?

Hello all - I'm here (but haven't posted here for some reason?). I'll vent about my evening tomorrow. I need to go to bed LOL

Hope everyone here is doing well!

Originally Posted by debgettinghealthy:
I'm new to the group and haven't started a weight loss plan yet, just working on getting my ducks in a row so I can start something next week. I'm nervous about sharing here, but I am also hopeful that I can find a community and connection that works for me. Struggle with depression and weight. Any suggestions for getting started?

Hi! Don't be nervous about sharing here - we're totally open to whatever :)

My suggestion is, make a goal and stick to it. Is your goal fitting into new clothes? Print out some pictures and hang them around (or at your desk, etc.). Or is your goal to become more athletic (start walking more, running, etc.)? Whatever it is, start out slow and work your way up. The treadmill is an awesome place to start. Maybe an incline of 1 or 2, speed at 1.5-2.0, and just get a feeling for how it is. Once you start and notice your energy level is up, less food is filling, etc., it motivates you to keep going :)

Welcome!
 

Originally Posted by CallyMay:
Hope it's ok if I participate here as well, this is a nice thread. I hope you all had a nice weekend. Lisa, I'm sorry about your cmpany closing. It happened to my dad over 10 years ago and was tough, but I hope you find something soon.
My weekend was really needed. Hop it's ok if I vent, I have a very difficult pupil in the private tutoring institute where I work. We're not really qualified to deal with him and he is really the first kid I absolutely dislike. This has never happened before and I've been working there for six years. I'm almost scared of Fridays because I know I'll spend 90 minutes with that kid again and last Friday was bad! Usually, I like all the pupils there, even the more difficult ones, but I've been tutoring him for over 6 months and still dislike him even though I know he is a very troubled kid. And then my boss, who knows I like to drink tea, told me that they found some poisonous stuff (I think it's called PA) in tea and that someone got liver cirrhocis from one cup. She doesn't know I have bad anxiety problems and I don't want to tell her, but the rest of the afternoon was awful because I kept worrying.
I don't binge, but when I'm stressed, I will often opt for the quick, less healthy meal or forget to take a snack and then get a chocolate bar, but at least that I didn't do on Friday. I had taken a few small, low-calorie biscuits which I had instead.
What is generally getting to me: my fiancé and I want to get married in May, but because he is a foreigner, it's a bit complicated and our next appointment at the registry office is on February 29th which seems so far away. Before that, we don't get an official wedding date and can't plan things properly.

CallyMay: :welcome3: to the group! Sorry you are dealing with a few very stressful situations in your life right now. From reading more of your posts, it sounds like you will be finished tutoring the difficult students soon. That must bring some relief. As for your meeting with the next appointment at the registry office for your fiancé, it is now less than 2 weeks away! So sit tight and try to be patient. It really is not far off now. Hopefully, you will know more after that appointment and can begin making some wedding plans. Last but not least, that comment about tea from your boss sounds like pure nonsense. I have never heard a thing about tea giving anyone cirrhosis of the liver. There must have been other factors at play for the one person who got that after just one cup of tea... if the story is even true. On the contrary, tea (especially green tea) is always said to be good for your health. Looking at your stats, you don't have much weight to lose (at least from my perspective). Please share your secret to losing weight and keeping it off with all of us! ;)

Welcome!
 

Originally Posted by debgettinghealthy:
I'm new to the group and haven't started a weight loss plan yet, just working on getting my ducks in a row so I can start something next week. I'm nervous about sharing here, but I am also hopeful that I can find a community and connection that works for me. Struggle with depression and weight. Any suggestions for getting started?

debgettinghealthy: Sending you a :wel3fc: and also a big :welcome: to our group! I like the advice that ap14 gave you. First of all, I applaud you for posting here even though you were nervous about doing it. Sometimes, reaching out for help can be the first step in making positive changes in your life. I would say to start small and make very specific, measurable goals for yourself and begin some kind of exercise (if you haven't already)... no matter how small or how short of time you do it. Aim for doing something like walking on the treadmill (as ap14 suggested) for just 10 minutes a day... at least 3-5 days a week. If 10 minutes feels too hard, start with 5 mins, but just START somewhere! Continue until you begin to create a habit of regular exercise. Then, you can gradually increase your workout time, intensity, and frequency to begin to really see results, which will motivate you to keep on going. The food part needs to be something personal to you that you feel is doable. I am currently trying the non-diet approach to eating. It does not focus on restriction, deprivation, and willpower, but rather getting back in tune with my physical hunger and satisfaction cues... and following them, which means only eating when I am physically hungry and stopping when satisfied (not stuffed). It is easier said than done, but it feels like a much more doable approach to me, since nothing is off limits (as long as I am physically hungry and don't go overboard). This helps to prevent cravings for me, which often lead to binges in the long run. I had begun a coaching program for this last year at this time and was really having a lot of success, but then I was diagnosed with breast cancer and then had a manic episode and ended up in a psychiatric facility last summer, and I am still trying to get back to eating based on physical hunger and avoid emotional eating. I have had success with various food programs in the past (most success with Jenny Craig), but I have always gained the weight back (and then some) once I go off the food program. That is why I am currently interested in the non-diet approach. We worked on addressing the emotional reasons we ate to try to heal our relationship with food once and for all, rather than continue the yo-yo diet lifestyle. I hope you will find a food program that works for you. There are so many out there. Sometimes it is just trial and error, but again... start somewhere! Best of luck to you! I am so glad that you posted! :)

Lisa
 

Lisa: Are you okay? You sound really down lately. Just want to extend my prayers and a big hug to you! :hug: Hang in there, my friend! We are all rooting for you! :cheer2: :cheer3:

Originally Posted by IBelieveInMe2:
Lisa: Are you okay? You sound really down lately. Just want to extend my prayers and a big hug to you! :hug: Hang in there, my friend! We are all rooting for you! :cheer2: :cheer3:

Thank you so much. :) My life is pretty boring so I don't feel like I have much to share. I pretty much work and do laundry.

I will try to post more and do more individual posts.


I really do love posting here. :)

Hello friends!! Like Lisa, I haven't felt like posting but I also don't want to abandon the group.