Ups & Downs Support Group: April 2015
 

Hello Everyone and :welcome3: to the April 2015 Ups & Downs Support Group! We did not have nearly as many posts during the month of March as we usually do. I hope to get the group more active again this month. Unfortunately, for those of you who have been following my breast cancer journey, I have to go back into surgery tomorrow because there is an open spot on my left incision and it appears to be infected. So tomorrow my breast reconstructionist will open the existing incision, clear any dead skin and infection, possibly replace the tissue expander, and properly close my incision again. I am falling asleep as I type these words, so that's about all I have in me for tonight. I am very disappointed about this setback to my healing, but I want it to heal properly and completely, so back to the drawing board I go! I will be having major Deja Vu tomorrow at the hospital since I was just in the operating room on March 9th! If you see this post and can spare a prayer, please pray for me and my family. Thank you from the bottom of my heart! :)

good morning, thank you Kathleen for starting the April thread :)

Kathleen I am not a praying type person but I can certainly think fervent thoughts of wellness and health that I am sending to you and wishes of coping with this, to your family. Really sorry you have to have another surgery to correct a problem but BEST WISHES that it is smooth sailing and puts you back on the road to recovery . You have such a fantastic attitude about what is going on, that is sure to help you! :carrot:

Lisa_c congrats on your new user name :) How soon will you find out what grade you get on your project?? staying up til 3 a.m. Sunday is not half-@ssing it my friend :D And I guess by now, your daughter is with you? and now that I know that your kitty's name is Leo and hope he doesn't have any more medical issues. Did you say it's getting warm and spring-like where you are? i hope so!! Oh and I got teary-eyed when I read that you worried about me :hug: I don't have many friends so it is sooo nice when I know someone cares!!

Fi You kept our March thread rolling and we thank you for that!! How are you doing?? specifically your poor leg and anything else that hurts. I hope your area is getting warm and Spring-like.

Hello to Minerva and I don't think I was even here to welcome you a few weeks ago, sorry!! I'm a long time member here but just kinda gave up during March. Anyway, congrats on losing a few pounds even though it was due to strep throat!! i hope you're all better. I hope also you were able to do some meal prep that will help you through the week to stay away from the fast food.

Hello to Tauxania again I'm sorry I didn't say Hi or "welcome" to you before, its so great to have new members and if this forum is helpful to you that is wonderful. I'm not familiar with the meds you spoke of (except Lexapro that made me fall asleep while I was driving!) and I self-medicate with sweets :rolleyes: so I 'get' that. South Beach has also worked great for me, if I stick to it.

Hi BettyBooty, how are you doing? :) I still smile when I read that you wrote "I ran with the dogs and it didn't kill me" :devil:

Hi EasySpirit I'm sorry you have had to find your self on medication again, but if it helps take the edge off, then I think that is a good decision. So you are in New England also? I am just so sick of being locked in winter's icy grip and sooo much snow still. It's gotta go away sometime right :dizzy:
I definitely will feel better when it starts to warm up, thank you ! u

Hi doitforme (Sue) I think it's cute that you ended up here by mistake :D If you do decide to 'hang out' here we look forward to chatting with you!

:welcome: to Mari26! I'm so sorry you are so lonely!! I like that your boyfriend thought that a puppy would help you, we got a baby Siberian Husky when we were newlyweds and boy, they are ACTIVE so you should find yourself occupied with walking that little sweetie! I can understand how it is hard to make new friends, especially if you aren't really getting out in the world, yeah lots of times we meet people on the job, or in relation to commuting, I wonder if there is a free activity you and the bf could do together to meet people. When you go to the gym, just be brave and just try a quick smile and 'hi' to people.

HI to coffeeshopgirl!! great to hear from you again!!!

OK about me :dizzy: Yes I have been so very MEH about life for weeks now, it is just so concentrated on the endless winter, my winter job and sucky boss (who I'm sure you're all SICK of me complaining about, but he is just such a turd) Still spending alot of time in bed on my days off because I'm so apathetic. However, that winter job ends so soon!! April 12 is my last day there, then I have almost 3 weeks off!!

But we are still so locked in cold weather I will still be trapped inside :( I know I complain about everything it seems :devil: I try to be thankful for health, mobility, the ability to work out even though I don't want to.

BUT as it is the first of a new month, I am gonna kick myself in the butt and work out, and I'm gonna start an April work-out thread, to make myself a little accountable. My eating is so yo-yo, I buy no-fat yogurts and bring healthy homemade food for work, then also eat cookies and other bad stuff :?: Jeans are tight, I can't imagine myself in a tee shirt...bleh.

Oh well I am gonna vacuum so I don't see dog hair when I do pushups and gonna work out , then will come back to start the exercise thread :strong:

So glad to be here!

Thank you for welcoming me, everyone!

VermontMom: Thank you for your advice. I might try to say hi, though I see all these fit people (and pretty girls) and I just feel TOO self-conscious to approach them! Oh, and by the way :P we have been married for a year. But, yes! My husband is very sweet, he is always trying to figure out how to meet people but he is shy too, so... well, it doesn't help. I am looking forward to an active puppy! I might also meet some people in puppy training! :D

Oh gosh just thinking about the attention that Siberian puppy will bring! :D they are soooo very beautiful. I know all dogs are beautiful furry loves but I have a special affection for Siberians, malamutes, wolf mixes, etc. I bet you will meet so many people who are going to just have to comment on your puppy.

Yes it is hard to meet people when both you and your partner are shy. It's sure nice to have each other's company though isn't it.

Hello friends -

Plugging along, my eating is not good but I have been working out each day, and started a Beat Down Depression with Exercise thread :carrot:

Spring is SOOOOOO slow in coming here. We have had only a few days over 40 so far. Our path is MUD and lined with ice, our driveway is mud, it is so yuck. And it will get worse before better :rolleyes: We still have tons of snow, we need multiple days over 45 and some sun and even rain to get rid of it. Ugh!!

Well I have ONLY 10 DAYS UNTIL THE END OF THE SUCKY WINTER JOB :devil:

Kathleen I hope the follow-up surgery went well!!

HI to everyone else :)

Thanks, Holly, for your comments. I liked all the fun things you said about spring coming, so I changed my fellow Ups & Downs threaders' color to "Magenta." It's really hot pink, don't you think? So exciting that you have only 10 more days of your sucky winter job to go!

Congrats, Lisa, on your class being almost over! Yay!!!

Praying for you to have a good result with your surgery, Kathleen!

As for myself, my muscle spasms in both legs and even a few in my arms have got me confined to a wheelchair. =sigh= But I'm getting pauses in the spasms now, so I get to practice walking a bit around the house.

Still don't know what causes the cramps, so I'm getting some MRIs to try to sort that out. But my husband Bob has had that really bad bug that's been going around, so we can't schedule the appointment for the scans until he feels well enough to take me. After that, a neurologist....

Personally, Bob and I think the spasms are side effects from all the psych drugs I've been taking. My psychiatrist kind of agrees with us, so we are slowly backing down on some of the medications.

I'm having a crappy day so far. I made a mistake in setting out all my morning medications and accidentally took two capsules, instead of one, of the main culprit in this serotonin toxicity business—still not a diagnosis, just a strong working hypothesis. We (my shrink and I) have recently reduced the daily amount of that drug (venlafaxine/Effexor) by 25%—which is a lot, believe me, because it's a very difficult drug to withdraw from. This morning, I erred and took the old amount.

Because of this little mistake, half an hour later I entered the hellish domain of Cramp City. Cramps in my shins, my calves, the bottoms of my feet, individual toes (!), the ligaments of my knees, my thighs (front & back), my upper arms, the tops of my forearms, and the ligaments of my elbows. We're talkin' severe pain here—thumbscrew pain, Spanish Inquisition pain, screaming-so-loud-your-throat-gets-hoarse pain. (I wish... actually, I have to suppress my screams because Bob is trying to sleep off a respiratory bug.) And it's not like the cramps come just one at a time: we're talking a whole symphony (or is it a dysphony?) here.

This went on for two and a half hours. Now, as I write, it's mostly abated. It will probably come back, off and on, all day long.

Now I have had no comfort food in the house for several days, because I can't walk and I can't drive. (Leg cramps tend to limit those two activities quite a lot. When I try to walk, I usually fall down. Mostly I don't try because it hurts so frakkin' much just to stand up. As for driving, I've had two car accidents—mild damage, no one hurt—due to the influence of psych meds, and I very much wish to never have another one.)

Here's the part where you know the next steps in this story:
• What happens when you put a lifelong sweets junkie into a situation such as what I describe above, and you take away all means of access to their chosen comfort foods? Yes, you are right. That's exactly what is happening.
• To twist the knife in the wound a bit, what happens if the sweets junkie's spouse is very resistant to anything that resembles a demand, or a command, because he had to deal, when he was growing up, with a bossy imperious domineering oppressive tyrannical mother? (He tunes out all pleasantly and politely worded explanations of why, in this circumstance, I am allowing myself a cookie or three. He literally doesn't listen if he thinks whatever I'm saying is connected somehow to an order. Everyone who knows Bob even briefly knows that you cannot order him to do squat.) So once again, you know the answer to what happens in that situation.

That is my day so far, in a nutshell: severe pain for hours on end, no comfort foods, access to comfort foods blocked by a MAJOR control freak (or perhaps I mean no-control freak). :) I hope your day is infinitely better.

I had a pretty quiet day today, worked from 10 until 1 pm. Then I went to a family dinner for a while.

Fi, so sorry you are cramping today. :(


I turned in my last paper in Design 101. My grade all depends on if the Professor liked my project??? I have a C right now, if he doesn't like it...well, I hate think about that.


I am kinda down today, Jennifer went back to school. It makes me want to cry. She will be back soon, graduates on May 9th. The house is so quiet now, it just makes it hard knowing she is gone.



That's about it for now. Much love.

Hi all
I am new to this forum and was so happy to see a section for people with eating issues as well as depression. I am bipolar and in a pretty bad place right now due to my binge eating. I know this is hard to believe but I have gained 80 pounds in a year. I disgust myself and don't really know how to stop this cycle.
Anyways look forward to getting to know you all and getting and giving support to each other

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO LISA!!!

I'm doin' better today: fewer cramps, a little tentative walking around the house, good session with my psychiatrist. Not much more to say...

Welcome!
 

Happy Birthday, Lisa!!!
 

Judilee— You need to read Kathryn Hansen's Brain over Binge, as soon as you possibly can. Usually I don't word my book recommendations in such strong language, but thfs is a book that may change your life. It's changed mine! I'm binge-free, i'm slowly losing weight, and I am no longer tortured by cravings for sweets, all thanks to Kathryn Hansen. Google her blog if you don't want to buy the book right away, but use the amazingly powerful solution she offers.

I'm in a weird phase these days, y'all. I'm getting an exhaustive workup for my persistent and very painful arm and leg cramps, which are so disabling I can't walk, can barely even stand up, and have to get around in a wheelchair. At this point three different doctors are collaborating in the effort to figure out what is wrong.with me. It will be at least a week, I'm guessing, before they all agree on a diagnosis. I don't want to make any of y'all uncomfortable by my descriptions of the pain and frustration I'm going through, so I may be posting less often for awhile.

Dearest Lisa, I'm soooo sorry I missed your birthday! Belated Happy Birthday to you!!! and I hope the time flies between now and when Jennifer gets home. Oh and that scarf is soooo pretty!

Fi - oh gosh your day the other day sounded horrible with the cramps and the cravings! I hope you are better!!

Kathleen - how are you doing, girlfriend? :D I am GLAD you know when to quit for the night to take care of yourself :)

:welcome: to Judilee! we are here as your friends. I hope you find it as welcoming and supportive as I have.

as of tomorrow i just have THREE days of the sucky winter job left :carrot: and I just found out I do not have to do a job search during the 3 weeks I am unemployed. Yay for that! :rolleyes:

I caught another head cold, I'm sure from one of my germy gross customers. grrrr!!! But my mood is better overall, even though we are still getting snow, but warmer temperatures are coming, to hopefully get rid of it by maybe the end of next week?? I hope?? I have a new pair of motorcycle boots I am dying to 'road test' - http://images.leatherup.com/imagespr...c=_H_SW700.jpg

whoa that pic turned out big, sorry :D

Fi I'm really sorry I didn't read your last post :( You need to feel free to tell us about what's going on with you...I mean if it helps you..we don't want you to feel that you have to hold back. :hug:

I can't stand up. I can't walk. I can't drive. I'm not making collages because my studio is upstairs, and it's very hard, excruciating, to climb the stairs. Every time I do anything at all with my legs, it's pain, pain & more pain.

Bob and I are still rooting for this to be serotonin toxicity, but my psychiatrist now thinks that's unlikely. The neurologist wants a full set of head and neck MRIs, but we couldn't get on the schedule for those until Tuesday. I don't yet have an app't scheduled for my first-time visit with the neurologist. So this process may drag on for a couple weeks more.

I'm starting to get a little bit scared about the possible disorders I may have, but mostly I distract myself by reading art criticism. The kitties are very sweet and spend almost all their time either on me or around me in my perch on the green futon couch. Yesterday Grace came over, and we spent the whole time looking at a book on René Magritte and talking about art. Already she seems more mature, more balanced and centered, than she did last summer. =smile=

http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e3...x.jpg~original


Here is my new scarf I am making. I think it is my prettiest one yet.

Lisa, that IS so pretty!!! And glad you treated yourself to having your nails done, you deserve it :) Sorry to hear of your knee pain though :( and REALLY sorry to hear about Jennifer's possible decision..I hope going to church today helps give you some peace today :hug:

Fi, Oh my gosh that sounds horrible. I cant imagine not being able to be mobile but not having any info on what the heck is going on!! please hang in there!! I'm glad the kitties are there for you :) best wishes !!

Kathleen we hope you are doing okay?? :hug:

Hi to the others :wave:

TODAY IS MY LAST DAY AT THE SUCKY WINTER JOB :carrot: It is always a test of patience though because, he has us doing major cleaning/pulling things out/ sweeping, yet still is open for business..how would you want a sandwich prepared in a deli where the equipment is pulled out, people are sweeping, scrubbing and then make you a sandwich , ugh. I will ..just .. hang .. in .. there :D

We still have deep snow cover in our yard, today supposedly it will get to 60, we haven't had that since like October, we just need some consistent warmth and sun . I want to get my bike out, and I want to work outside!!

A quick Hello -

Fi - I hope your doctors are able to figure out how to relief your pain quickly. You have been dealing with this for too long.

Kathleen - It sounds like your recovery is going well - I am sure your attitude helps.

Lisa - Does your daughter have a job lined up for after graduation, or is she going to continue her schooling?

Holly - Your winter job is FINISHED!!! You made it through another miserable winter! Good for you!

My generic Zoloft seems to be helping me - the family problems seem to be easing, but that might be the meds!

Hello to everyone else.

Easyspirit, Hi! I'm so glad the family problems seem eased, either due to the med or that the situation is actually better :)

I weighed last night for the first time in months ... just to force the truth that I have gained about 5 pounds over the winter. Just changed my ticker and sig to reflect the truth. can't even fool myself to say 'how did this happen' because I have deliberately had lots of dessert-type foods almost daily for months. And kinda just didn't care at the time (well I cared that they tasted great but didn't care about the sure weight gain)

But as I have THREE WEEKS OFF :D I have NO excuses!! First, to crack down on my eating. Second, choose workouts that make me sweat, not just going through the motions. Third, maybe start walking, as the weather is cooperating now??

HI to Fi, Lisa_c, Kathleen!! and the others who joined us a short time back, would love to hear from all of you.

Gotta make this quick!!!
 

Kathleen - - So very good to hear from you! :carrot: thanks so much for filling us in..glad you enjoyed at least seeing the beach!! :sunny: AND for your independent shower! :D but sorry that family was not getting along :( and for the drain and discomfort :( :( You are such a trooper though and so strong and that will get you through!! and all good, positive thoughts and blessings to you! :hug:

and thank you for that LONG string of smilies / congrats / woo'hoo's about my sucky winter job being over, that made me laugh out loud!! because you know what a big deal that is for me :) :) :)

Lisa - I am sure you made the right decision about school, I still admire you for the classes you have already taken, I am too chicken to even try. So you are my hero :cool: Hey, about the blind date, I'd say go for it..it might turn out great! Is your weather spring-like yet?

Fi - we are all so sorry you are being plagued by pain! and let's see, today is TUesday, did you have an appt. today? Hoping so much that you get relief.

Hi EasySpirit - I hope you are doing well today :)

I completed one day OP (On-Program) yesterday!! For me that means staying on plan with eating, good food and under 1500 calories. And the workout I chose was tough and sweaty and 40 minutes.

The snow is melting!!!! YAY!!!! It's great how fast it goes. Now just waiting for some darn ice that is IN the garage, to melt, then for the driveway to dry out / firm up some before our motorcycles (all three of them :D ) can come out of the garage.

I made a tiny mistake in my first weekly filing for UI (Unemployment Insurance) and got scared as heck when I got a call from State of Vermont :eek: but it was a simple mistake and they helped me correct it, whew. Don't want to run afoul of that!!

HEY we used to have to have so many other regulars here, you get to 'know' people then when you don't hear from them for months you worry..no pressure if any of you are lurking :) just KNOW that you are remembered and missed!! "Worth" "Fleur" "Coffeeshopgirl" "Chelsea" "Amy "(seabiscuit) "Trish" and any others who were with us last year...hope you are OK :hug"

Lisa - if you don't want anyone around, we won't talk you into it :hug: but...if it makes you sad to think that you are someone who doesn't want anyone around, do you think you really do? not trying to be a jerk :dizzy: just trying to see what is underneath...just want you to be happy :hug: :hug:

Hi to Kathleen, Fi, EasySpirit and all others :)

Completed another OP day yesterday :carrot: now to just repeat that for at least a week, would be a miracle for me.

My cold seems to have come back! or just won't go. I've been going through boxes of Puffs so much I should buy stock in the company. Maybe a weak sinus infection that is finally draining. Yesterday I made the effort to drink 3 quarts of cold weak tea throughout the day to help thin out or eliminate the crud I'm blowing out :rolleyes:

I just completed a FitnessBlender.com 1000 Calorie workout, yikes. Warmup,
core work, HIIT cardio, strength, cool down. I adapt alot to protect my knees. Conservative calorie burn for me was 500 to 600, wow.

Our third day of sun!!! :sunny: Temperatures not really warm, but we will take 60 and sun!! still waiting for yard to dry up so I can do yard work, it's squishy where snow recently melted.

Bikes are still in garage :nono: we are being safe and patient.

well we do not want you to be scared in that way :D (how come I get censored for saying H-E-L-L :rofl: ) so I will totally respect that and your dear kitty (and dog, right?) are your chosen at-home friends :)

I have been outside doing yard work, it dried up enough for that. I attacked a line of shrubby ugly things that encroach on the yard every year, those suckers are GONE :devil: I was dumb and didn't wear long sleeves so my arms show the fight that the shrubby uglies put up, lol. And raked some . the yard already looks 75% better. I also got our compost bucket near the front door so we can start that again.

I don't understand how, on a gorgeous Spring day like this, that I have been waiting for, for 6 months, that I chose to crawl under the covers at noon and slept for 2 hours. I .. am .. not .. that .. tired! Now it's just a bad habit. Maybe once it gets totally warmer I won't want to, I was kinda chilly and instead of just putting on more clothes :shrug: I decided to go back to bed. in the middle of the day. ON a beautiful day!!! :?:

but then I was totally active outside for 3 hours. again :?:

Lisa, so sorry about the migraines!! I hope you can get them under control. And I hope the school decision works out for you!

HI to Kathleen, Fi, EasySpirit, and any others!! :hug:

my big news - WE GOT THE BIKES OUT AND RODE TODAY :carrot: :dance::flow1: :dancer: Only rode to town and back (10 miles) but it was fan-tastic. YAY!!!

Did a ton of yard work, even more than yesterday. Cut back the rest of the ugly shrubbies, raked, cut down a couple trees :eek: set up a wooden platform for a larger compost bin, set up the outdoor recycling bins...good stuff. Put away EIGHT snowshovels good riddance to those mothers!! :devil:

For three days now, I have stayed on program with calories!! I haven't been able to do that since last year!!

Good morning,

Fi, I hope your pain has lessened.

Holly, I put the shovels and pet-safe ice melt away yesterday!

Kathleen, I hope your recovery is going well, and your family situation is improving.

Lisa, I hope the meds work on your migraines. Would you consider telling your friend that you are not looking for romance, but would like to meet this man as a friend? Just thinking that would remove the pressure, and you might get a good friend - your friend would not have suggested this if she did not think highly of him.

Everything is going okay with me, but I am just waiting for the other shoe to drop. Even on the generic Zoloft, I have bouts of anxiety. I am also having a problem with chocolate - eating way too much of it every day since Easter - have to figure out how to stop that as I was down to 147, and now I am at 150.

Tests, tests, and more tests! The answer to the question of why I'm having painful spasms in my legs and arms is staring right at us: it's serotonin toxicity from being on too many medications that activate serotonin pathways. Bob and I have researched this thing until we're blue in the face, have printed out scientific papers to give to my doctors, but still they want to rule out other things with more tests. God forbid they should have made a mistake by putting me on too many meds!

I forgive them. It's no big deal. Let's just get with the program and get me off those meds! =sigh=

I may soon cry out "Mutiny!" and do it myself!