Good evening ladies,

EasySpirit, I'm sorry you still have anxiety even with taking a med. I hope the other shoe doesn't drop :) Isn't it nice to put away the winter stuff for good?? what is the weather like where you are?

Fi why don't the dang doctors listen to you, I wonder! sheesh. Wishing you freedom from pain!!!

Lisa, I will do my best on sending positive thoughts to you about school; I don't say 'pray' myself, but how about 'fervently wish' :) :hug: Oh and I bet alot of ladies would buy your pretty scarves. and yeah you deserve to be tuckered out after getting up at 5 a.m. every day!

Kathleen we hope you are doing well, sweetie!

I had my first slip-up on eating today :rolleyes: FOUR slices of take-out pizza for dinner! god it was good. I haven't had pizza since last year. And 2 granola bars. I know it doesn't sound too bad but I've been trying so hard. Well back to strict calorie counting tomorrow.

Holly— The reason the dang doctors don't listen to me is that there's prejudice going on: doctors (retired doctors, too) are supposed to be the worst patients, because they're always telling their doctors what to do. So every time I open my mouth to say something about serotonin toxicity, their ears have bubble gum in them. Know what I mean?

Hello chicks, how was your day?

HI to Kathleen, Fi, Lisa, EasySpirit, and any and all others :)

I've been feeling slightly anxious about things, and that is unusual for me. And lots of indecision, that isn't usually a problem for me. Don't know what's the matter.

I dropped my bike yesterday :eek: and my left mirror snapped off. $%*#!!!! And it was due to those sexy new boots I was wearing, the heel is totally different so I will have to be careful about that.

I really, really need to force a more positive attitude for my life, I am having a real problem with that lately.

I hope everyone has had a good couple days.

Hey everyone,


I just spent a whole afternoon working on this, what do you think?? It's for my digital imaging class.

http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e3...pso4cdtd2k.jpg



I hope you all had a great Sunday. I spent mine working on school assignments. i still have videos to watch but I may take an hour to recoup and then maybe watch another video.


Fi, praying for your pain to go away. I hope those Dr's get their stuff together and get you fixed.
Kathleen, praying for you too, sweetie.
Holly, how are you doing today? It's raining here in Ohio. Is it raining where you are? Have you gone out a second time with your bike?
EasySpirit, I know what anxiety is like. They have me on Buspar and it works like a charm. I was a mess before the Buspar.

If I've missed anyone, I apologize.


Have a great Sunday evening.

Here is a really good picture of my daughter, i wanted to share it with you all.


http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e3...psxtmjxrfw.jpg

Oh my gosh Lisa, what a beautiful young lady!! beautiful inside and out :)

congrats on your "visit Great Britain" image also!! I don't know anything about how to do that but I'm sure it's alot of work .perhaps the color of the lower font be tweaked a bit, it is a little difficult to read the 'soon' because of the lighter reflection behind it?

Better day today, in several ways, the most hope-inducing of which is that my muscles are stronger.

I've had a goal for some days now, which was/is to get to a wooden chair that is right next to where I used to do my Qigong exercises. And I made it! I finally got my butt planted in that chair. I didn't actually make it out of the chair and into doing my exercises—still too weak and spastic for that—but getting to the chair itself, on the opposite side of the room, was an achievement.

I see Mike, my Qigong instructor, tomorrow. Maybe he can show me how to get out of the wheelchair and onto my feet doing the exercises.

Small but significant steps—that's how I'm going to master this thing! Maybe tonight I will get upstairs and down the hall to my collage studio. That's what I need for my morale now, more than anything: I need to make a collage.

Still too weary from these feats to write personal replies, but I'm reading all your postings and cheering for your accomplishments. And I agree with Holly: your daughter is gorgeous, Lisa!

Hello chicks :)

FI I hope your meeting with Mike, your instructor, was good today!

Hi to Lisa, Kathleen, EasySpirit!

I had my first motorcycle maintenance/repair class tonight...I LEARNED HOW TO 'GAP' A SPARKPLUG :D :carrot: It was pouring rain and 45 degrees when it was time for class, so we did not ride our motorcycles there tonight..but we really have to tomorrow, so the bikes can go up on the lifts and we can work on them.

Feeling pretty good tonight, finally.

Greetings!

Lisa, your daughter is beautiful.

Kathleen, drop a line if you are up to it to let us know how you are feeling.

Fi, I hope you are feeling better, and Mike gave you some ideas.

Holly, I am on Cape Cod - worst winter I can remember! So glad Spring has Sprung!

Hello to everyone else.

I haven't been doing so hot, but I'm trying to take it in stride.

I had a suite of neuro tests scheduled for today, so it was imperative that I take a shower last night... which meant climbing the stairs. I tried the first few steps in a zillion different ways, but my legs kept giving out under me, and I'd have to back up and sit in the wheelchair, pondering. Finally I tried Bob's suggestion of literally crawling up the steps, on my hands and knees. That eventually worked, once I got the courage to throw myself into it, but by the end Bob was having to help by pushing me. Then I did my alligator crawl into the bedroom and was humiliated again by how hard it was to get my bod onto the box bed.

That was yesterday. This morning I fell down in the unfamiliar master bathroom, five times. My legs are not just black and blue: they're also swollen and lumpy. And then I fell again while trying to walk just one very short step into the carport. I am no longer strong enough to walk to the car. We have to take me to the passenger side door in the wheelchair. It's truly annoying. I appreciate all the enthusiastic comments about baby steps, but in truth, today at least, I'm losing ground.

The neuro tests were so grueling I couldn't finish them. About half-way through the second test I couldn't take it any more, mostly because both of my quadriceps (muscles on the front of your thighs) went into the spasm to beat all spasms. It had nothing to do with the test, but the combined spasm pain and pain from electric shocks they were giving me.... I just got completely overwhelmed and had to quit. So we'll have to go back next Wednesday and finish that test. =sigh=

I'm kinda scared. I don't mind the pain nearly so much as I mind the progressive loss of function. How will I get up the stairs to my studio, if I could barely make it on hands and knees last night? And it freaks me out that I am incapable now of standing, just standing straight up like a normal person does. Am I getting worse, or are these just fluctuations in the illness?

Fi, oh sweetie, I wish I could help you.


Tonight, I am so tired. I just don't know how I am going to make it through tomorrow? I am that tired.


I am kicking around giving up my second job. I would like to just be able to concentrate on one job, plus school.


If you see this in time, keep me in your thoughts to make it through Friday.


Much love to you all.

Fi, I can't even imagine how frustrating it must be to not be able to WALK :( I'm so sorry that the run of tests was so grueling that you had to stop. You have all of our wishes and hopes for relief!!

Lisa I hope you got through your day alright, being so tired. Has your daughter heard about her interview results? I hope also that you have a few more $ in your pocket, though you were very resourceful the other night with the noodles :)

Easyspirit- so do you actually have spring yet?? we thought we did the other week..woke up this morning to all white again AAAAAAAAcccckk!!!! and it's 29 freakin degrees. Yesterday I rode my motorcycle home from the tech center in 32 degrees.. I think this is me in there ---> :snowglo:

Kathleen we haven't heard from you in a while :( and I hope you are okay!!!! :hug:

So I take my medicine (Wellbutrin) regularly but still have prolonged periods of just zero ambition and so apathetic. Yet I do love my family, our dog, my motorcycle, my summer job..I don't know what the *&^% is wrong with me. I need something like a Happy Pill :?:

This morning I fell down two times while trying to get to my shower chair—so I could take a shower—so the day didn't start off very well. But just the experience of washing the EEG grease out of my hair, and getting clean all over, then lying in bed with no cramps, was tremendously restorative. Bob was happily ensconced in a science fiction novel, and it was so nice, just to be silent together in bed.

I decided I didn't want to go downstairs before Grace came, because if I stayed upstairs, we could both work on collage projects in my studio. And so we did! Later on, Grace had a good time playing with Oscar and Nénu while I read Sherlock Holmes aloud to her. All in all, a thoroughly enjoyable afternoon and evening. Now if I can just figure out a less stressful way of climbing the stairs, we'll be living again—not just surviving from one day to the next. =smile=

But don't jump too soon to celebrate my doing better: I still cannot stand, walk, or drive. =sigh=

Fi, I'm glad you had at least one good afternoon or evening, working on collages and spending time with your niece.

I'm still on my time off, still spending too much time sleeping. If I'm directed by something I HAVE to do, like the course we signed up for, or paying bills, laundry..I will do it, but I don't have ambition to do anything else. I don't know if it's lingering Seasonal Affective Disorder, or perhaps another symptom of my brand of depression.

The weather is definitely a motivator and it has SUCKED. A high of 29 yesterday!!! and no sun. I need some warmth and some sun. I'm not even feeling that excited about my summer job, which I should be starting in about 2 weeks.

I did do ONE constructive thing today (besides working out) I pulled out everything from our lower kitchen cabinets, got rid of stuff we never use, boxed up alot of items that will go to the summer job kitchen, then cleaned up a bit, it looks alot better. But that's only ONE thing in 2 weeks!!

Bleh :p I know I could have it worse. but it's something I can't seem to break out of.

I'm okay!!!
 

Hey Kathleen it is so good to hear from you! thank you for letting us know you are okay :) I mean it is scary to think of having to go through chemo but I'm glad there will not have to be radiation :carrot:

I just weighed myself, after 2 weeks of eating less calories, eating better calories, and upping my exercise, the scale is down barely 2 pounds. It is so discouraging!! when I think of what I was eating all winter, it's crazy that I haven't gone down more. I put on a pair of jeans that I haven't worn in over 2 weeks and they feel exactly the same. :?:

I just now gave up on trying to climb the stairs. I tried three times, and one of my tries got me as far as the landing. Maybe tomorrow morning I'll make it. Pain dogs me no matter what I do. Every step I take: pain.

But when I retreat to the green futon and put my legs up on the denim pillow, guess who joins me in this stage of my journey? Oscar and Nénu They've been running around like maniacs, but when I need their comfort, they shift gears and show up in my lap, sweet and affectionate.

So, tomorrow morning... maybe the next time I try, I'll climb them alll the way.

For now:... cats in my lap make it all worthwhile.

Greetings,

Fi, have you considered getting a stair lift chair for your stairs? I don't know the cost, but it might be worth looking into.

Kathleen, I was relieved to see your post and happy you are doing well.

Lisa, I hope you have more energy today.

Holly, two pounds is two pounds - you don't have much to lose, so it is going to take longer. You are doing it! I certainly understand the lazy feeling and not wanting to do anything after the winter we have had. And, it does not seem to want to go away!

Hello to everyone else.

Hello ladies,

Well, it looks like I have a lung infection. All I do is work and sleep. The Dr gave me an antibiotic and it does seem to be working. My lungs don't feel so heavy and my wheezing is better.

i have gained a bunch of weight, it bothers me but right now I am more worried about getting my lungs back. The weight can come later.

I really want to get myself a bike so that I can ride.

I am so tired. I will try to come back tomorrow and do personals.


Much love.

Hey there everyone -

Fi - I hope you are able to manage the stairs today. Thank goodness you have your sweet kitties to warm your lap :)

EasySpirit - you said Hi to all of us but didn't say how you are doing :hug:

Kathleen - again, it was so good to hear from you. Check in when you can :) and best wishes for the upcoming treatments.

Lisa - Oh no!! a lung infection, poor thing :( as if you need that. I hope the antibiotic kicks it right out of you! Do you have safe areas to ride a bicycle? that would be a great way to exercise, great for body and mind.

I've been better, at least for a couple days, of not going back to bed during the day, it's so tempting when the weather is blah.

I have been very good on track with diet except for yesterday, back to the straight and narrow today.

MUCH friendship vibes :goodvibes to you all and please hope that I can get some :sunny: for myself today.

*edited, 5:00 pm - I had NO sun today :( clouds were thick enough to look like rain, but stayed dry. However it did get to 57 here even with no sun. I was very productive and cleaned my husband's side of bedroom, it needed it :eek: It did take me FOUR HOURS. Then took it all to the ReUse Center and got rid of it!!!

Friends,


Here is a new crochet project i am working on, it is a pot holder.

http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e3...w.jpg~original

You all have been so quiet, hope all is well.

Greetings!

I hope this finds you all doing well.

Holly, my family issues seem to be calming down. Personally, I am eating too much chocolate and too much ice cream. I thought it would be easy to lose the three pounds I just gained, but it isn't....not when I can't seem to stop myself from eating.

Fi, I hope you are getting some relief from your pain, and your doctors have finally decided to listen to you.

Kathleen, I hope you are feeling better each day.

Lisa, you must be so excited and proud that your daughter is graduating.

The weather here is starting to warm up FINALLY. What a tough winter.

Take care everyone.

Just dropping by to let you know I'm here and reading your postings. We have some of my test results back, but not all: still don't know what's causing the spasms. The pain is considerably less, but the problems with mobility are still at the can't stand/can't walk/can't drive/can't climb the stairs stage.

How long before I know what's causing this? How long before things improve? Don't know.

Sorry to be downbeat. It is what it is.

Fi, keeping you in my prayers!!!!!!

EasySpirit, I am so excited for jennifer, she graduated cum laude.


http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e3...psvrqgqyja.jpg

Lisa, what a beautiful picture!

We are now posting on the May thread....hope to see you there soon.