[Chelainabear]

Amy: Good luck with your surgery, and the balayage! I will try to remember to post pictures of mine, but I ended up just lightening the ends and doing an all over light honey brown that I really like. It's really close to my natural color, which was my end goal anyway And I hope you have fun with your mom!

IBelieve: I'm so glad your daughter had such a good time! That camp sounds like an amazing experience After all that excitement, I would have eaten a whole basket of breadsticks! I know you feel frustrated about the cravings and giving in to eat one, but you're right, it could have been much worse. keep up the good work!

I ended up not working out tonight, I had a longer day that I anticipated. My hair and work both took longer than I expected, and I'm still so tired. But I have like 5 hours between my dr. appt tomorrow (talking about depression/anxiety treatment!) and work, so I'll go then. I was thinking about even walking/jogging to the dr. and back, it'd be a couple miles.

Nutrition wise, though, I did well. I barely got to my 80 oz. goal, but I ate really well. I have a hard time with putting food back/throwing it away when I'm full, but I did it TWICE today! I consider that a huge success.

[hannahbeanies]

I really need some positive vibes and good thoughts today...

I didn't mention it, but I had an absolutely horrid day at work on Friday...the worst day I have had there yet. It started out great - I remembered to bring my favorite tea and I was finally starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel as my piles were noticeably diminishing. Then a woman who has a very kind heart but rough exterior scolded me on how she was embarrassed in court because of a mistake I made and how I should "try harder and pay more attention." I was furious. I already responded to her saying that I wasn't perfect and mistakes happen to even the hardest of workers.

However, I recalled an incident last year where I had made a mistake in one of her cases and she went directly to my boss without telling me anything. As a result, I was humiliated and I had a long talk with my boss. Which, admittedly, wasn't horrible, but is the closest I have ever come to getting in trouble there. So anyway, I decided that I would approach my boss with the mistake I made before she had the chance to. I explained to her what happened and how I was sorry that I missed the mistake before she took the files to the judge.

My boss was upset, but not at me. She explained that isn't part of my responsibility, but was actually up to the person who takes the files to the judge. She then said that I was a great employee and to not worry at all about it. She also told me that she would not say anything to the other woman unless she approached my boss about me. Well, not surprisingly, I guess she had went to my boss, because when I was downstairs and out of the office for a moment, my boss came down and warned me that the other woman had gotten a rough scolding from my boss's boss (haha I know, confusing) and that I might get the cold shoulder for a bit. She also told me that if the other woman had issues with the way I did my job, that she could do all the work herself and not worry about me messing up her files.

I went back into the office, and the environment was completely different. Everyone hushed when I came in, there were whispers from across the room and side glances. I knew instantly that they were talking about me, because that is what they do and I just happened to be the target of the day because of what happened. I knew I was coming in after the other woman had a chance to blow up and tell the whole office what happened. Eventually the other woman along with an additional coworker were intentionally speaking loudly so I could hear, saying "Oh, (name), I know you are so swamped with your workload. I will help you when I get back from lunch" to which she replied "That's ok. I almost have these files done".

I never told my boss nor this woman that I didn't want to do her filing - she made that decision on her own but still tried to make me feel guilty because of her workload. I should add that this additional coworker who is now helping her was talking about how "mean" the other woman was, behind her back, to everyone else, including me, not two weeks earlier. Ugh. Anyway, I left early that day because I needed to get away before I got too emotional about it. I am still not quite sure what to do today. I am going to be professional as possible and keep to myself for a bit, at least.

I am really sorry for the rant, but I just needed to get that out before heading to work...I just feel so betrayed and hurt. I should have expected it because they do this kind of thing to each other. I just had never been the target before. I just really REALLY try hard to be a genuine person and not gossip about others. I am not perfect, though, and I am certainly no better than anyone else. But to have these people be my friend one minute and then try to hurt me (that is what it feels like to me) the next is downright cruel.

I am sorry that I did not add any personals, but I promise I am thinking of each and every one of you.

[VermontMom]

HI! The regulars know me, but I guess I am a newbie to the names I don't recognize I'm Holly, have seasonal depression (I love summer and dread late fall, all winter, early spring) and pretty low self esteem and those are my struggles.

Hi Kathleen, congrats on doing very well on low carb!! I'd say ONE breadstick is a victory! glad your daughter had fun at the camp Musta been thrilled with the Olympic heroes.

Fi, kewl collage (as usual!) and anticipating your kittens arrival.

Hi Chelainabear, I am sorry you have to work 2 back-to back jobs! ( I laughed out loud about your 'typing as a ghost' but sorry you were so tired!)

Hi Syndey, glad to meet you your little boy sounds adorable

Hi Amy!! hoping that your surgery tomorrow goes well! glad your mom is coming to visit, is she staying long enough to help you out after surgery?

Hello aryastark (love that name too, loved Arya!) and I'm glad that your depression is mild compared to what it can be; that's how I rate mine also.

Hi Hannabeanies; I"m so sorry about the experience at your work..boooo to that co-worker who is so immature!! I'm impressed at what your job sounds like. and congrats that you were told you WERE a good employee!! keep THAT in your mind as the dumb ladies are passive-aggressive-yakking.

Hi Lauranya I found it to be impossible to lose while on Lexapro; I've had very good luck with Wellbutrin XL.

Hi Worth!! Way to go on your huge efforts on your working out. And soooo close to Wonderland

Hi Fleur!! congrats on loving the new job! that is so great and hey you are losing pounds aren't you!!

well I did not work out FOR A MONTH and that is so out of character for me, just have not made it a priority and using all kinds of excuses and not being mindful of eating.

However the summer job is keeping me mostly happy and summer, and my yard, and my motorcycle oh and yes of course my husband and dog Eddie. It is raining this morning so I will have to 'cage it' (what we bikers call driving a car) but at least I can drink coffee on the way.

This Saturday is our big Toy Run; and as I am President this year I have been very involved and even though I am looking forward to it, I also just want it to be over! Just praying for a safe day. Have been in contact for months with local counties' law enforcement for coordinated traffic control/escorts etc., and a million other details . WHew

I will TRY to stay in closer contact so I don't seem to be a newbie, lol!

[Fiona W]

Oscar and Nénu (pronounced "nay-noo") are safely home, and I can think of nothing else but my babies! Yesterday couldn't have been more perfect: when Bob and I first arrived at our breeder's, we were immediately struck dizzy with joy to be surrounded by so many lively, affectionate adult oriental shorthairs. At the door they mobbed us the way dogs do, rubbing against us, jumping onto us, offering us toys to throw for them—and so gorgeous, every one of them....WOW. And then we went upstairs to the nursery (the master bedroom) and immediately fell in love with our dear little kittens, sleeping wrapped in each other's arms, in a cat bed on top of the human bed.

After that, the time went quickly. We had lots to learn about our kittens and all the other cats from Julie, and lots to catch up on since the last time we saw each other. We went out briefly to lunch at a diner, but otherwise spent our time enveloped in the company of many charming orientals. The collage titled "friendship" I'd made as a gift for Julie and Roy was a big hit: they asked lots of questions about how I made it and just couldn't have been more sweet & appreciative.

Then it was time to drive home with Oscar & Nénu! Much to our amazement, they slept through the whole 3 1/2 hour trip, sacked out in the same cat bed we met them in (smelling like home), inside of a small traveling crate, buckled securely in the back seat. We didn't hear one peep out of them, the whole way.

But when they emerged in our nursery, the master bedroom (& bath) of our house, they were full of crazy energy, happily exploring every nook & cranny, finding their water & food bowls, their litter box, their scratching pad, trying everything out as if they'd just checked into a fancy hotel. =laugh= And of course lots of time exploring Bob and me, too, batting at our toes & fingers, snuggling up against our bodies, eagerly participating in games with us....and so on.

We all four slept together in bed last night, despite the fact that Bob and I had provided them with a cushy new cat bed with a warming pad under it. They thoroughly checked out their new cat bed, but when it came time to sack out, they wanted to be with us!

I just took a photo with my iPad: the two are curled up in Bob's lap while he's reading in bed. Nénu's head is on top, Oscar's below. Here's the photo..

Back to kitten-land! =big smile=

[Chelainabear]

hannah I am so sorry you had that experience at work. However, I think we're all proud that you chose to act with professionalism and class, and though you may have been the target today, people will start to notice that your coworker never seems to be at blame for her problems (as she tells it) and they'll get tired of it. Keep your head up! I hope today goes better for you

VermontMom: Hi! And thank you And have fun with your Toy Run, I'm sure it'll be a blast, those pesky details always seem to fall into place.

Fi: Eeeek, Oscar and Nénu are adorable! It seems like you hit it off right away

I had my doctor's appt. today for depression consult/treatment and it went really well. My family doctor has dealt with a lot of the things that I do (PCOS, anxiety, depression, etc.) so she's firm and helpful, but not pushy. I was afraid she would try and convince me that I'm not actually depressed, like some doctors have before. But she did have me do some blood tests just in case there is another cause for some of my symptoms, encouraged me to do counseling, and prescribed an anti-depressant.

I was going to run afterwards, but I think I'll just do zumba/Just Dance in my room, because it's very hot outside. Either way, getting my cardio in today, before my 10-hour shift

[seabiscuit]

Hi...

I'm postponing my surgery, I haven't been feeling well. I'm slowly feeling a little better.

I'm going to get my hair colored and cut on Saturday. I was going to try highlights but I'm going to think about it. I'm going back to a salon I used to go to, I'm trying a different stylist and colorist.

Have a good night.

Amy

[Lauranya]

Thanks for all the welcomes.
Celainabear- I know what you mean about different diagnosis because one of my doctors said I have bipolar and the other doctor said he is treating the symptoms of bipolar. What is the difference. Don't get me wrong I would love not to be it. Anyway, I have more trouble with the anxiety than anything else.

Vermontmom- I had the same success with Wellbutrin but unfortunately it put me in a manic state no matter how little I took.

Fiona W - Kittens are so precious. I recently got myself a little shih tzu puppy. He is really adorable but a real handful. Also there is no sleeping in anymore which is good for me because I had a tendency to sleep too much when I wasn't working.

Hannah - sorry about your day at work. Hope things go better

[IBelieveInMe2]

Hannah: I am so sorry that you had such a horrible experience at work Friday!!! I am glad that you told us about it, so that we can support you. Your coworker sounds like she is a bully. Those kind of people who are petty and talk about others drive me crazy! Everyone makes mistakes sometime. You are human, for God's sake! She should have looked over the document before she gave it to the judge anyway, as your boss wisely noted. I am really happy to hear that your boss supported you. It sounds like your boss has this lady's number! I understand why that atmosphere (when you walked back into the office and they had clearly been talking about you) hurt and angered you. Do your best to IGNORE their nonsense and keep working hard and doing the right thing! As long as your boss knows you are a valued employee and supports you, that is the main thing. Focus on that. Here's what I say to that mean employee..... ........ Don't mess with our Hannah!!! Hope this week is going better for you!

Fi: Oscar and Nenu are ADORABLE!!! It sure looks like they are bonding quickly with you and Bob! That is so awesome! So happy that you finally have your precious kittens and that all is well so far! So........ is the BERP finally over? Or is it still a work-in-progress?

Chelainabear: I am so glad to hear that you had your consultation with your doctor and that she took good care of you and prescribed an anti-depressant. I hope it helps. I also encourage you to try to find a qualified counselor that is a good fit with you. It can make such a positive difference! Just want you to be healthy and happy!

Holly: So great to hear from you! You sound like a busy bee, as usual. Good luck with your Toy Run this Saturday! Haha, I like that term "caging it!"

Amy: Sorry you aren't feeling well and had to postpone your sinus surgery. I was anxious for you to get it over with. I hope you will be able to fit it in soon, so that you can get some relief from your symptoms.

Lauranya: Good to hear from you again! I have been diagnosed bipolar, too, but my biggest issue is also anxiety. Your little puppy sounds cute! What is his name?


Low carb is still going well. Haven't weighed myself the past couple days, so not sure if I've lost any more weight. I am trying to be happy with LOW carb, rather than striving for NO carbs, which is virtually impossible. It is testing my all-or-nothing, perfectionistic tendencies. I fight feeling like I am failing when I eat ANY carbs at all. It feels like I have to be perfect to lose any weight at all, which is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO frustrating!!! I will weigh in tomorrow morning to see where I stand. Did some laps in our pool today and walked quite a bit Saturday night. Have had to cancel training lately because my schedule is just too full leading up to my kids starting school. I need to fit in some exercise each day. If I don't "just do it," the day flies by and it never gets done. I am so darn busy right now that my head is spinning! I hope things settle down once the kids start back to school. My handicapped daughter is starting high school this year, and I am extremely anxious about it, but trying to remain calm for her sake. I am waiting for the principal to call me back about a meeting to discuss her needs. I think we will all feel better prepared once that gets done. My son will be a senior in high school and I don't know what I am doing regarding a college search. That is a big source of anxiety, too. Also, my house is a total disaster right now. I am so overwhelmed!!! Breathe..... Breathe..... Breathe.....

[IBelieveInMe2]

Just posting again, so that I can subscribe to our new thread. I keep forgetting to do that!

[Chelainabear]

Amy: Sorry you're not feeling well, but good job feeling comfortable saying that you're not ready.

Lauranya: I've just had doctors that told me "You don't have depression/anxiety, just reduce your stress and work on being happier" like wth I obviously am struggling to do that, which is why I came to you.

Kathleen: Two kids in high school is rough! My younger sister and I are 3 years apart, and I think that year gave my mom more gray hair than any other (except maybe this one). College searching and other stuff is hard, but if you ever need to, you can shoot me a PM! I just graduated and while I was there I worked with HS seniors and incoming freshmen on things like apps, fees, etc. The HS counselor (or whatever they call the person who helps with college and career planning) can also be a huge help! Mine wasn't, but my teachers were. They all went to college, so if your son is close to any of his teachers, they're great resources for him too. And I'm sure they all want to see him succeed

Take some deep breaths, have some tea if it's your thing, and know that we all believe in you. You can do it!

I had kind of a rough day, food-wise and personally. I ate a good breakfast, but didn't make enough time for lunch, and got to work in time for a snack of baby carrots. Dinner was all weird because Mondays at the house are kind of strange, so all I had then was a granola bar and water. So... I caved on my way home and bought fast food I didn't get a soda, and I got two small things, but it was still late at night and crappy food. I'll do better tomorrow.

And I LOVE my new job. The staff seem fantastic and I'm excited to have a lasting impact on the girls' lives. But I kind of have a little crush on one of the senior staff members. Apparently all the girls in the house do, and I just feel silly. Plus it makes me like 100 times more self conscious about my weight. I mean, I'm used to people not being interested, I really am, but when there's any interest on my side it makes me all self-conscious and weird. I hope it goes away soon, the guy is incredible but he has a serious girlfriend and wouldn't be interested anyway.

Other than that, I jogged 2 miles and got my 80+ ounces of water.

[hannahbeanies]

Holly I am glad to see that you are happy and enjoying your summer, even though you have been a bit relaxed on your dieting endeavors. I think a mental health break is good for you! Also - what is a Toy Run? I am interested.

Fi Kittens!!! Oh my! So adorable!!!! I bet you are head over heels. I am so glad they are bonding with you. Nothing like a purring kitty to soothe fragile nerves.

Amy Please keep us updated on your surgery. I am worried for you.

Lauranya Hi!

Kathleen My father is a teacher and they have a saying when it comes to starting school again. "You will be fine by October." Just remember the transition is temporary. I wish both of your children well as they start the new year. Also - Chelainabear made a great suggestion of contacting school counselors for college transition ideas. It was invaluable to me.

Chelainabear I consider your day a win. Just THINKING about what to eat, even at a fast food restaurant, and then making smarter choices will get you so far. Trust me, you definitely did well! I am also glad to hear that you like your new job!

Thank you all so very, very much!

You're good thoughts and support really did help me. I am very grateful.

Monday was better than I expected. I decided to act civil and do my work as best as I could, and leave the rest up to my higher power. It worked out great. The other woman is still mad and doing her own filing, which is fine by me. Another coworker of mine even took me out for lunch. So I think it is ok now.

Now I am just dealing with family stuff. My mom got her settlement check and now she wants to move. Moving is ALWAYS stressful (even though it is my parents that are moving and not me). There is just so much to do with it. Bleh.

Food was so-so. Weighed in at 189! That means I am out of the obese range on the BMI! Woohoo! And, I haven't even been following a diet too closely. This weekend was such a wreck I am surprised I lost anything at all.

[Fiona W]

I'm all drenched in sweat and my heart is beating fast, so I'm taking a brief break from the final stage of the BERP to check in. The pressure is really on, because tomorrow (Thursday) is the day when I pick up my 14-yr-old great-niece Grace at her house at 2 PM, and she has dinner with us and stays 'til late. We have a special treat planned for her: not only is she going to get to meet the kittens for the first time, but while she's here, we're going to take the big step of letting Oscar & Nénu out of our bedroom and into the rest of the house. As someone who wants to be a vet when she grows up, but has never had a cat, she will learn a lot about cats tomorrow.

We're probably going to close a couple of doors in the upstairs—not so much that those rooms pose any hazards for the kittens, but because we want to encourage them to take the big trip downstairs and explore the main level of the house. It's fortunate that the wooden stairs are still covered with the ugly beige carpeting we ripped off the floors all over the rest of the house, because they'll be easier for the tiny kittens to negotiate.

The dining room, which was my art studio until I transformed my writing office into a collage studio, had accumulated a vast and bizarre array of trash and mail and art supplies all over the table and floor. I've been gradually working my way into that huge mess of stuff all along during the BERP, but I always knew I would have to save the bulk of it for the end, simply because I didn't know yet where I would put the things I wanted to keep—or even what I wanted to keep.

But now I just about have places for everything I'm encountering there. All the same, it's a lot of hard physical work to pick up things like jack o' lantern stickers & Marcel Duchamp postcards & rolls of packing tape & unused postage stamps and put them all in their appointed locations—like the Hallowe'en box, for example. And then I have to finish the 3-D jigsaw puzzle of squaring away all the labeled boxes onto shelves and into stacks on top of each other. Some of the stuff is going upstairs to my collage studio, of course, and those things go either in stacks on the side of the stairway, or into the small & large unsorted clippings boxes that Grace will have to deal with some day. I also separate out clippings & stickers & other miscellany that I think Grace might like in a small box and a manila folder that she'll take home tomorrow. =whew=

I tell you all this not because it's important, but because it's what I'm doing. If I worked this hard every day of my life, I'd certainly lose weight faster! Tomorrow will be a big fun day, so I'm strongly motivated. Best wishes to all of y'all!

[fool4fotos]

I just wanted to say that I'm glad I found you

[seabiscuit]

Hi there...

How is everyone's day going?

Welcome fool4fotos! We're glad you're here too!


I had to take my lil guinea pig to the Vet ER last night, he wasn't feeling well, so I have over $100 on my charge card and all they said was that he was a little dehydrated with a little bit of an upset tummy. No meds, just hydrating him and encouraging him to eat.

I met with two nice stylists at the hair salon that I'm going back to. The colorist, J and I sat and chatted for awhile and he's going to do all over brown color hopefully getting rid of some of the reddish tones with some face framing highlights. He was so nice to call me back at home. The other stylist, D does haircuts and he and I chatted about what the best cut is. They both seem very sweet and kind. I'm a bit nervous about Saturday but I'm looking forward to it!

Well, I've got to get off to the pet store.

Take care!

Amy

[Chelainabear]

hannah: Sounds like things are looking up! Glad to hear that you're not feeling completely frozen out by your coworkers, and congrats on the loss! Moving is stressful, but make sure you can separate from it, because it doesn't have to be your stress. At least not all the time

Fi: Sounds like the BERP is going well! I'm sure your great-niece will have lots of fun watching the kittens explore

Amy: It's a bummer that you had to spend so much money, but the good news is that your guinea pig is going to be fine. I'm excited for your hair stuff, it sounds like you're working with people you like and trust, which is huge. Can't wait to see how it turns out

So! I weighted in at 261 today! I'm thinking my mini-goal of getting under 260 by Saturday just might be achievable. I've been waiting a week to get back to really losing, and I think I worked hard to get that pound.

I'm taking my sister to the movies tonight (we have 'sister dates' sometimes, and we haven't had one in months since she was pregnant/had a new baby) and we're gonna go see Guardians of the Galaxy. Movie theatre popcorn is a HUGE temptation for me, because I freakin love it. I'm hoping that if we get a small size, I get diet soda instead of regular, and I eat a good dinner before I go, I should be fine.