Starting to Face Negativity
 

Although only four or five people at work have even mentioned that they've noticed my weight loss, I'm starting to experience some negativity from some of the people who were so critical of my weight before I started my current program.

I'm the 'fat girl'--a common target for the 'mean girls.' Now, I'm nearing the same weight as the overweight women who were most vocal in their criticism of me and I'm starting to see resentment directed toward me. What is wrong with people that they can't just be happy for someone's success? For heavens sake, I am not one of 'those people who think their so great.' I'm just slogging along, trying to lose weight because society kept telling me I was a drain on the national health care pocketbook. (I wasn't but that's the message we all get with the obesity epidemic rhetoric, isn't it?)

I refuse to allow the negative judgement to impact me emotionally but I find it so sad that people feel the need to be hypercritical and lash out just because they aren't happy in their own lives. Putting people down doesn't lift you up. It's just pathetic. Sadly, it's just going to get worse as I continue to lose weight. Can't wait until the day I walk into the office wearing size 16 jeans. :D

Worththeeffort- I'm sorry you have to deal with negativity at work in regards to your weight loss. It seems so often our society is unable to be happy for people's successes unless it impacts them in some way or another. Which is sad, BUT that's what we are all here for! Providing eachother with the much needed praise and support that we don't get anywhere else!!! You will rock those size 16 jeans btw!!!!!!!!!

So no call from the recent job I interviewed for... I'm not going to get bummed though because that always negatively affects my workouts. Nope, I shall be positive. I found a few jobs I can apply to when I get home tonight, so that's always exciting. Also, the job at the Catholic Center I applied to ages ago-- the job posting ends on June 30th. So really hoping and praying I hear something in regards to that. I would be over the moon to work for the Church!!

I'm doing really well food wise. Kinda doing a low carb thing, but nothing as strict as Atkins, though that may be something I try in the future. Just want to see if I start getting results from what I'm doing right now. I'm eatin many more veggies in place of breads, grains, starches, etc which is a huge improvement for me since I'm a bread addict!!! haha! I've always joked that when I'm old and gray, I'll be a plump old woman because I'll just bake bread all day and eat it!

I did a really great weight workout yesterday at the gym. I've incorporated deadlifts into my routine which really get my heart pumping. I really wish I had a friend or new someone at my gym to help me with spotting. I'd like to try heavier weights on the bench or more reps of certain weights, but I'd like to not decapitate myself in the process. I feel awkward asking someone else in there because I just feel like I won't be taken seriously. Everyone I see is lifting super heavy weights. I've just got measly light weights. Also I'm like the only person in their that is heavier and lifting. I know it's a process and not everyone has always looked the way they do now, but it's just difficult. Maybe one day I'll ask for some help.

So my job took away the water coolers we had due to budget issues. This was a bummer because I drank a lot of water this way. So I bought a gallon water jug yesterday, filled it up at home and brought it to work. It's only 10am and I've already drank about 3/4 of it. This is making me drink more water than I did with the water cooler so I think it will be beneficial.

Hope everyone is having a good start to the week!

Hi everyone,

I gained weight. :( Not good. I just have so much going on here, so much stress. I have been eating more. Despite this, my moods are still pretty good. I have so much on my plate, much of it is financial.

I lost my only client to a broken leg. It will most likely be a while until I have her again. I am just guessing though. She broke it last Saturday. I feel so bad for her.


It has been very humid here the past few days. I have had the AC on.

Worththeeffort2, Please don't let the mean people at work affect your wonderful weight loss. You are doing great.

Fi, I am so sorry your kittens are sick. *hug*

and to everyone else, you all are in my thoughts and prayers.

Worthy— My response to your tale is to wish that you had embraced being "the fat girl," back when you were in that role, and fully accepted yourself as a person who happened to occupy more space than (some) other people. Tall people also occupy more space. We each occupy the amount of space we occupy, and it is neither advisable, nor the aim of health-focused weight loss, to strive to occupy the least possible amount of space. At any rate, it never too late for you to accept yourself, embrace yourself, exactly as you are at any given moment. Deep self-acceptance—self-love, in other words—is the cornerstone of all long-lasting change. I suspect you already know that: I'm just writing down my thoughts. Meanwhile, what other people think, and what society says, are both irrelevant to your personal aspirations. In the words of my idol, Patti Smith, be "outside of society." At least that's how I play the game.

Ohio- What type of work do you do? You mentioned you lost your only client.

Fleur, I am a Home Health Aide.

I'm posting because I can't get to sleep. I had a rough day in BERP-land: I discovered yet another banker's box in which I dumped a bunch of random papers some time around 2008. I thought I'd finished with all the boxes like that, but this one was lying in wait for me, deep in the dining room mess. It was hard to go through because it contained evidence of my initial fumbling attempts to save material for use in collage—a bunch of envelopes, for example, in which I stashed some stuff I cut out of catalogs. I don't know what I was thinking back then: I really didn't have a clue as to what was worth clipping. I found it mortifying to look at those pathetic scraps of paper I saved.

I've always been this way, where I look down on the person I was in the recent past. That's why it's so hard for me to maintain my stuff in good order: I hate to go through my papers and weed out what I don't want anymore. After several hours of that today, my self-respect was completely gone. And still is. Gack.

Easing back into things.
 

I am trying, with some success, to get my head back above water after my trip to Ireland. It is amazing how routines can fall by the wayside so quickly, especially if they are routines that tend to have procrastination and avoidance attached to them in the first place. So I am easing back into major laundry, working out on a consistent basis, eating healthy and less at each meal, avoiding unhealhty snacking (especially at night), and many mundane appointments that interfere with all of this. I don't mean to whine about this, but it is overwhelming me and sort of depressing me. I need to focus on taking ONE thing at a time, ONE moment at a time, and getting it accomplished. I feel the weight of it all at once and want to get it done and off my mind all at once, which of course, is impossible. So please send me some ONE MOMENT AT A TIME :dust: to help me get back on track..... or on track for the first time in my life, whichever comes first! :^: I am just so thankful that I don't ALSO have a job outside of the home, because it would send me overboard right now! I haven't even had a chance to enjoy our swimming pool (and do laps for exercise) because we have stayed so busy since being back from Ireland. Okay, I am taking a deep breath and starting over. I can do this..... one thing at a time! Now for some quick personals, so I can get something accomplished around my house.

Worthy: That really angers me that you are experiencing negativity at work because you are doing something that is improving your health and well-being. People like that drive me crazy!!! It sounds to me like JEALOUSY raring its ugly head! Do your best to IGNORE them and continue to MOVE FORWARD with your plan. You are doing the right thing! :hug:

Amy: Glad to hear that you had a good weekend with your family in NYC! Hope your trip to Nantucket is wonderful!!! I went there with my family years ago. It is so nice! :)

flower123: I have heard of Popchips, but have never tried them. I will do that on your recommendation. Thank you for the tip! I like your image of a large orange poppy field to send our food craving gremlins to to put them back to sleep! :lol: I would try about anything at this point, too!!! It really is frustrating! :( BUT....... WE CAN DO THIS!!! I just KNOW we can!!! :D

MonteCristo: Best of luck to you as you restart the Atkins Diet! I would LOVE to do low carb, but I just haven't been able to consistently resist the carbs long enough to lose or maintain any significant weight. If it works for you, though, I say GO FOR IT!!! That is depressing when you reach that moment of realization that your weight is negatively impacting your life. I am there now, too (have been for awhile), and it's no fun! :( Let's use that feeling of discomfort to MOTIVATE us to MAKE CHANGES!!! :hug:

Fi: I say congratulations on MAINTAINING your weight! It beats gaining, especially while you are working so hard on the BERP. Something has to give, you know? I get exhausted and anxious sometimes just READING about all that you have accomplished on the BERP!!! I can't imagine the exhaustion you must FEEL having done all of that (and knowing you still have more to do). You are doing SO WELL, Fi!!! Hang in there and KEEP MOVING FORWARD!!! There is an end in sight! I sure hope your kitties are okay! You can finally REALLY rest and ENJOY your clutter-free home once the kittens are there safely and soundly!!! That time WILL get here, I promise! :hug:

Sabrina: So sorry you haven't received a call-back for another interview for that job you wanted. I trust that God has something RIGHT FOR YOU in store and will present it to you in His perfect timing. Until then, I am keeping you in my prayers that you will be guided to that job! Hang in there and keep the faith!!! :hug: It is great to hear that you are doing really well food-wise! Low carb is the way to go IF you can maintain it! Quick results! Keep up the great work!!! It WILL pay off. I hope that you will get up the courage to ask for help at the gym. You deserve help too, after all! Someone will be glad to help you, I'm sure. They would probably be flattered that you asked THEM for help! ;) Keep drinking that water! It is so good for you! :D

Lisa (ohiofreespirit): Sorry that you gained weight! That is a big bummer, but totally understandable since you are under a lot of stress. Glad to hear that your moods have stayed okay, though! That is so important and the key to turning things around in the weight department. YOU CAN DO THIS!!! Do your best to eliminate ANY sources of stress that you can and get right back on board with healthier eating and being satisfied with less food. I try to make healthy choices so that I can eat more of it when I am craving a lot of food. It is a huge challenge for me, too, but it IS possible! I am also sorry to hear that you lost your only client to a broken leg. Are you self-employed or do you work for an agency that can help you get more clients? Keeping you in my prayers! :hug:

Gotta run! Waving HELLO to everyone else and hoping you are all okay! Please post and give us an update whenever possible! :wave:

Thanks, Kathleen, for the vote of confidence about how much I have accomplished on the BERP. I hope you get your rhythm back soon and can go swimming and enjoy the summer!

Speaking of getting things accomplished, and in the spirit of Kathleen's famous fairy dust, I think I've hit on a better way to nudge you guys into using that slow breathing technique to improve your willpower.

First off, let me tell you the logic behind it. Study after study has shown that people with a lot of variability in their heart rate have increased activity in the so-called "prefrontal" section of their brains—the part that's right behind your forehead bone. That section is responsible for higher-level decision making. Higher-level decision making is what you do when you choose an action, or choose to refrain from an action, because it's in your best longterm interests. The cool thing about this heartrate variability finding is that all you have to do to juice up your higher-level decision making is to make your heart rate, your pulse, more variable.

Now some people with a lot of biofeedback experience can make their heart rate variable, swinging it from fast to slow back to fast again, just by concentrating on doing so. But for those of us who don't have that ability, there's an easy shortcut: slow down your breath rate. With every breath you take, your heart rate naturally varies a bit: that's because when you inflate your lungs, you compress your heart and change how fast it pumps. If you've ever seen an EKG printout, you may have noticed that natural slow-fast-slow-fast rhythm. If you take long slow inhales up to fully expanded lungs, and long slow exhales down to fully deflated lungs, you can make that natural rhythm more pronounced.

Are you with me so far? Slow breathing rate —> More pronounced variation in heart rate —> Increased activity in prefrontal part of brain —> Improvement in "I will" and "I won't" power

So it's not just about relaxing and belly breathing. Think about it this way: as you start your inhale, imagine that the air is a very slowly trickling stream going up through your nose, down into your windpipe, and out into the balloons of your lungs. Let that stream trickle slowly, as sloooowly as you can make it go, until your belly is pooched all the way out and the sides of your chest, too, are lifting up like wings. When you get your lung-balloons as full as they can possibly get, hold it there. Wait for a count of 1...2...3...then let that stream of air start to trickle out, very slowly. Keep that stream steadily trickling out until your lung-balloons are all the way deflated, as flat as you can make them. Then wait for a count of 1, if you can. Then reverse the process and start another slowly trickling inhale. If you feel like you need to start inhaling right away after your lungs are as deflated as they'll get, that's fine, too. Just keep the whole cycle—whether you're inhaling, holding at full, exhaling, and then inhaling again—moving very slowly.

Your aim is to get your breath rate down to 4-6 breaths per minute, which means 10-15 seconds for that whole cycle. So if you can imagine the sound of a clock ticking, hear it tick around 5 times as you inhale, 3 times as you hold your lungs full, and 5 times as you exhale. Don't worry about getting short of breath: your lungs will be putting oxygen into your blood throughout the whole cycle. It's not in the least bit unnatural to slow down your breath rate like this.

How long do you need to keep doing the slow breathing, to get a noticeable change in your willpower? About 10 minutes—or about 50 breaths, if you feel like counting them. Pay attention, after each time you do it, and see how long you need to do the slow breaths, to notice an improvement in your willpower. The improvement will last quite a while—a few hours, in my experience. 10 minutes is not very long of a break, even in a really busy day, for such a big benefit. And you can do it as many times in the day as you want.

There's even a quick way to test whether it's working for you. You don't have to wait until the next time you're tempted to eat junk food or overeat, to notice the change. Give yourself a small job to do, right after you do your slow breathing—some job you don't often feel like doing. Like picking up a room, or balancing your checkbook, or taking a walk, or running an errand....the possibilities are endless. Notice how much easier it is to set yourself in motion on doing that job.

Trust me: I've been using slow breathing to get myself working on the BERP, day after day after day. I have no innate desire to de-clutter my house, believe me. It takes "I will" power, and I'm getting that power from slow breathing.

sounds like you are considering your other posts on here and other weight loss forums within the last few hours.

.

Ok, so I caved and weighed myself today...down almost 5lbs in 3 days! Sure, it is probably mostly water weight, but it is the biggest downswing I've seen in ages. Plus I'm not hungry or tired, or even craving things I shouldn't have. The only thing I've been craving is water. :) I'm really getting tired of salads though, not sure I can eat one everyday...so may have to make some adjustments next week.

Hi there,

Believe, I'm so glad that you like Nantucket. I love it there! A relative of mine has a house there. I've been exhausted but I long for days on the beach there.

I've been struggling with some health issues, mainly my iron deficient anemia making me exhausted. I had IV iron yesterday. I have three more treatments.

Have a good day!

Amy

Heading to Lake
 

We are headed up to the lake for a long weekend. My niece (the one who was just married in Ireland) has her in-town reception Saturday, but we will just commute back and forth from the lake for it. Worked out this morning with my trainer. She switched some things up on me and I got a fantastic workout!

MonteCristo: Congratulations on losing almost 5 pounds in 3 days!!! :carrot: You must be thrilled! Keep up the good work! :D

Fi: Thank you for taking the time to explain in detail the deep, slow breathing necessary to increase willpower. You explained it better than the book! :D It sounds so tedious, but I will give it a try soon. That is great that you actually notice a difference when you practice it.

Amy: Sorry that you have been exhausted from iron deficient anemia. IV iron does NOT sound like fun, but I hope it helps you to feel better. Hang in there and you can rest on the beach at Nantucket soon!!! :hug:

Holly: I miss seeing your posts! I know you are super busy with your summer job, but please post soon and let us know how you are! Hope all is well! :hug:

Will try to check in from hubby's computer at lake or I'll post late Sunday night. Have a wonderful weekend everyone! :)

Kathleen— Oh no, the slow breathing is not tedious at all: I'm sorry that I made it sound that way. It takes a few breaths, even a dozen breaths, to sink into the slow rhythm of the inhale-exhale cycle, but once you're there, you'll find it quite peaceful & relaxing. Be sure to put yourself in a comfortable chair with your feet up, or lying on your side or back on a comfortable couch, so you won't be distracted as you concentrate on breathing sloooooowly. You'll like it, especially after you try doing a small task right afterwards, and you see what it can do for your willpower!

MonteCristo— Way to go on that 5-pound loss! You don't have to eat a salad every day. At least I don't. Follow through on that loss now, and keep going... =grin=

Hi there... I'm still a bit tired today. I have three more iron infusions left. I'm looking forward to being away, I'm just so tired.

Does anyone know the name of a vacuum that can be used for vacuuming up small animal paper bedding? Thanks.

Amy