good morning ladies!

Fi, I'm glad you gave yourself a day off from your big project. But sorry to hear of the afternoon slump. Great to tackle your leg exercises, that can only help us :)

Lisa (Ohio)- I am sending you math power thoughts :D hoping you ace it! I'm not a lover of numbers, I am a word lover, haha. Again I am so impressed by adults who work to improve by further education, as that's something I've not done, cause I'm a scaredy-cat :devil: so I am in awe of you :love: I hope you're getting all the crud out of you from your wicked cold! Oh and yes I am riding alot :moped: and loving it.

Amy (seabiscuit) - Oh I wish I had advice on how to clean marble countertops, I have nothing so nice here, LOL. But I'm sorry you're feeling stress from knowing the landlord wants to show your place.

Lilturtle - wow congrats on being so on-program! and buying wisely at the grocery store. I forget if I congratulated you on losing 100 pounds in a year...CONGRATULATIONS!! :D :cheer2:

Monte Cristo - I'm glad the lousy tenant is finally gone! it must have been so hot working without the a/c. And jeez, you sound like a cleaning dervish :devil: I hope your house stays clean :D

Worthy - congrats on your 2 lb week loss AND being so close to Onederland!! I hope you had a nice visit with your college friends. Isn't some nice weather EXACTLY what we need :D I'm so glad you are feeling as spectacular as the weather!!

Melarie, - Hi and :welcome: to our group! I'm so sorry that you've suffered from depression at such an early age. Congrats on already being down 25 pounds!! And I hope your job doesn't tire you out too much, but i have found that a job that MAKES you stay on your feet does strengthen you, even though it makes us feel tired.

Hi to Kathleen, Sabrina, Chelsea, Lost, and I haven't forgotten about projectjudi, 1life, alita, and my friend from YEARS here Ms. Hope

I have to take my car to a collision/body repair shop, a man rolled right though his stop sign and collided with my car, the jerk :devil: I yelled at him, 'I am usually on my motorcycle, this could have been so much worse!" It happened like a mile from my work. Very minor damage, but I want my car exactly as it was BEFORE his error.

I also am LOVING our late spring weather (our lilacs just bloomed; my irises have not bloomed yet) I am just so much happier about everything. I am such a different person now, than in winter.

Been trying very very hard to stay on the straight and narrow diet path, it is difficult wtih my summer job..yesterday I made a batch of coffee ice cream, a batch of lime sherbet, and only allowed myself a tiny taste of each to correct flavor.

Emotionally drained!
 

Today, I am emotionally drained. I had a run-in with my mom over the weekend and again yesterday. It was about our trip to Ireland. Did I already mention that my family is traveling to Ireland with my parents for my niece's wedding there??? Well, the run-in was a typical attempt by my mother to manipulate and be passive-aggressive with me. This has gone on my entire life. And, at the age of 47, I have FINALLY had enough of her b.s.!!! I decided that I am going to be honest with her as much as possible now, because I do not want to have regrets and unspoken resentments toward my parents when they "move on." (My dad is 85 and my mom is 80.) Anyway, I won't bore you with the details, but I am very proud of myself that I didn't emotionally eat over this latest episode. (However, I was thinking, "No wonder I have issues and I'm overweight!") It is so difficult to break free of the "chains" that bind me from my childhood, mainly because the same dysfunctional patterns and behaviors still go on with my parents, especially my mom.

Walked a bit at the lake this weekend, but didn't get a lot of exercise in. We were busy celebrating my daughter's 15th birthday. She took a friend to the lake. The weather was PERFECT again this past weekend!!! :sunny: This morning, I am back on board. I worked out with my trainer and will be going to the gym twice tomorrow (once for strength training and another time for cardio while my daughter strength trains with our trainer). I went to the store yesterday and stocked up on healthy foods, so food has been really good the past few days. I stepped on the scale last week and have basically stayed at the same weight. I need to get that d@mn # on the scale to move DOWN!!! I am driving myself crazy about it! :dizzy: It seems that something always comes up and/or I get derailed from my weight loss efforts, but I am NEVER giving up!!! I just won't!!!

Worthy: I hope your visit with your college friends went well. Congrats on hitting your 2-pound weight loss for the week and being 19 pounds away from ONEderland!!! That is great and really exciting! :D

Sabrina: HOORAY for a baggy size 18!!! That is awesome! So is your 4.0!!! :carrot: Hope you get that A in your government class. Keep up the great work with your healthy and portion-controlled eating! Thank you for keeping me in your prayers. I am close to the 100s, but my weight has been stalled here for SO VERY LONG, so I feel a bit hopeless about it. I DO have faith that all things are possible with God, though, and believe me, I have been asking for His help. I keep reminding myself that it is about God's timing and NOT mine!

Amy: I hope your packing is coming along okay. Sorry you have been so drained from your head cold and allergies. My allergies have bothered me a lot lately, too. Hope your landlord gave you more time before showing your place. Not sure how to clean marble countertops. Sorry! You have a lot of stressors in your life right now. Be patient with and kind to yourself! :)

Lisa: Good luck with your math!!! I will keep you in my prayers on Wednesday! Let us know how your test goes. I certainly do not envy you. I would hate going back to school after ALL these years!

Trish: So happy to hear that your eating has been well and you are feeling very motivated! :D

MonteCristo: Sounds like you have been incredibly busy cleaning your house and fixing things for your new tenant! Hope you get some "down time" (as in relaxation) soon. :D

Fi: So sorry to hear that you had a mood slump and depression pain again yesterday. Glad you recovered by evening and got your leg exercises done. I hope that as you attack that BERP today, you are remembering to take your necessary breaks! What a relief it will be for you once the BERP is complete and your kittens have arrived! OMGosh, btw, those kittens are so darn cute! :love:

Holly: So sorry about the jerk who rolled through a stop sign and collided with your car. Glad you weren't on your motorcycle and that you are okay! Hope you can get everything repaired and back to its previous condition soon and without event! Happy to hear that you are much happier now that the nicer weather has finally arrived! Enjoy your bike riding and be careful!!! :D :bike:

Waving HELLO to everyone else!!! :wave:

Kathleen - OH I am so sorry to hear of the strife with your mom!! You did mention the trip to Ireland but I didn't know it was to be with family..hmmm..yes there is strong possibility of tension there! If you want, please do type out what you are feeling, you will not bore me at all..or type it out and delete it..or send it PM. If it would help you . HOwever how GREAT that you did not 'eat your emotions'!!!

I can only advise, about making the scale budge, that what is working for me, is eating so much less than I want :( sad face but I am getting 'kinda' used to it. What I thought was unbearable hunger pangs before, I know that I can get through now, without dying :D

a thought ...baring our childhood demons here, that have affected us our grown-up lives?? some have already mentioned child abuse :( :( :( I had nothing that awful, thank goodness..but I was scarred, I know, from growing up without a father. At my age now, fifty-stinking-three years old, :D I still YEARN for a dad to 'take care' of me, you know, take care of my car, I don't know, things a dad would do, protect me..I also want to be an independent woman, who can do things for herself/on her own...conflicts! .I was watching the movie "Grease" recently, and when a girl said to Sandy, 'the only man a girl can trust is her father' just made me tear up. Because our dad did visit us, but sometimes he would miss a visit.

Thanks everyone for all the support. I haven't slept hardly at all the last two nights. I feel bad physically and everytthing I eat is making me sick. I hope I sleep tonight.

Thanks for all the welcomes guys!

seabiscuit - when we had marble counter tops we used baking soda, a teaspoon of cream and tartar and just enough peroxide to make a paste. Use an old toothbrush to rub it on, let it sit for 30 minutes and then wipe it off with a wet cloth. I feel your landlord pain. When we moved out of our apartment we cleaned for 3 days straight and still didn't get our deposit back. Good luck.

fiona - glad you got through your slump! And an art journal soundss like an awesome idea. I've been wanting to get back into drawing and other arty things, maybe decorating a journal would be good project to get me moving on it.

IBelieveInMe2 - Sorry about the stuff with your mom. Hopefully the honesty thing will improve your relationship in time. And great job not giving in to the emotional eating! Not an easy thing to resist I know.

Holly- Thank God you weren't on your bike! Hopefully the nice weather you're having keeps up so you can ride. My mom and step dad ride, but the weather here hasn't been great and when it is, he's on the road. So you have your own bike? That's awesome. I'd be way too afraid to drive one. I can barely even drive a car without panicking.

Speaking of driving, I need to get out and drive again. My mom had me drive like half a mile the other day and I started crying when we pulled into our driveway, just from nerves lol. But I hadn't driven in a year, in my defense.

And if we're airing or childhood issues here, I guess I'll mention that I've been feeling down about my relationship with my dad lately. A new friend of mine at work was talking about fishing with her dad and it reminded me of how close we used to be. We would always go fishing and wash the cars together on the weekends and then when I got a bit older it stopped. When my parents divorced it totally ruined our relationship. Now that I'm an adult, he doesn't even invite me over anymore.. I haven't seen him in months and it bothers me a lot more than I expected or like to admit. I wanted nothing to do with him as a teenager, so why am I so bothered?

Originally Posted by Melarie:
... Now that I'm an adult, he doesn't even invite me over anymore.. I haven't seen him in months and it bothers me a lot more than I expected or like to admit. I wanted nothing to do with him as a teenager, so why am I so bothered?

Because it is his DUTY to love and care about you!!! :mad: I am sorry to be so abrupt but holy heck. Hey, we are all awful as teenagers, we should not be held responsible for our teenage years :devil: but you are a young adult now. I am so very sorry that he is missing from your life. That is not right. I hope he realizes SOON that he needs to keep in contact with you, before you get jaded and write him out of your life completely.

Okay I am off my soapbox, lol. Yes I have my own bike, I was scared at first but wanted to conquer it more than the scaredness, so I had to force myself. Now I love it more than anything! I'm really lucky because we'r quite rural, and I can ride to work, so it's a 46 miles round trip of beautifullness. You're in Ohio? One of our favorite biker parties is in Chillicothe, and we have friends near Columbus.

I'm sorry driving gives you such anxiety :( Hopefully if you go for short drives in low-traffic areas, that will help ?

Lilturtle, so sorry to hear you don't feel well. I hope you can sleep tonight!

Fiona- Those kitties are so cute!!! Do you have any other cats besides the two you will be getting from the litter? Glad you were able to get out of the slump from earlier.

Ohio- Good luck on the math test. I finished a statistics class a while ago and man was it challenging.

Vermont- What an awesome day! Glad you got to get in a lot of miles. I remember riding with my dad on perfect days like that. The best part of summer! Glad your a stickler for the sunscreen, I am too when I'm going to be outside a while. I burn so badly if I don't. I'm glad to hear you weren't on your bike during that accident! Also, in regards to hunger pains, it helps me a lot to drink a lot of water when I think I'm hungry. Gives me that full feeling. I eat a lot less than when I was pregnant and actually feel content with it, guess it's because Isabelle isn't siphoning all my energy and calories!

lil turtle- I hope you feel better!

Ibelieveinme2- I rely so very much on God's will. He has a plan for all of us and his timing is truly his own. Sorry to hear about the issues you've been having with your mom. Definitely a good thing that you are making a chance so you don't regret anything later. And two a days at the gym??? GO YOU!!! It's neat you're working out with your daughter. It's always nice to have a buddy in the gym.

Melarie- Welcome to the group! Hopefully we will get into size 16's together! I always think of myself as being young, but when you say you've only been out of high school for two years, I realize I'm not as young as I feel. haha! I'm 24 btw, but it feels like yesterday that I just got out of high school. I'm sorry to hear about your relationship with your dad, maybe you could write him a letter to tell him how you feel?

Went to the gym today and had a really good weight lifting workout. Benched 50lbs which is my highest bench press to date. Pretty exciting for me! :) Did well with food today as well.

Got to work on some homework now!

seabiscuit- I hope your landlord lays off!

Monte- Sounds like me when I go on a cleaning binge!

Hi there!

I went to volunteer work at the hospital today but I didn't stay for my shift because I have been fighting a sinus infection. I gave out cards to my co-workers and I gave and received lots of hugs. I will miss them so much. I had a lot of laughs with them, and one of the CT scan techs brought in cookies and brownies for me. I was so touched! :D. I have found a lot of my co-workers on Facebook, so I sent a few messages.

My apologies for not writing personals tonight but I am very tired from the antibiotic and I am trying to get my apartment tidy for my landlord showing it tomorrow.

I'm considering doing a hospital based outpatient weight loss program. I'm going to check out one of the sessions, the first one is free!

Take care!

Amy

Helloooooo friends.


It has been a rather long day. We tried to get Jennifer's car tires balanced. I won't go into details but we were there 2 hours and nothing happened. I am pooped.


Jennifer and I came home and ate pizza, then we cleaned the living room and kitchen together.

I need to study tonight. I have my Unit 2 test tomorrow. I have hope I will pass. I have been studying my arse off and I have a tutoring session tomorrow.

I am still trying to get over my cold. I know it's TMI but blowing my nose is always interesting. Jennifer said to me today, "aren't you over that yet?" I just can't seem to get it to break up.

FleurDeLis, I evidently have to take a statistics class too. bleh

lilturtle, feel better soon, hon.

fiona, an art journal sounds like a great idea. yay!!!!

Kathleen, I am so sorry about not getting along with your mom. I used to not get along with mine, she used to be so manipulative. She's kind of quit. I like her a lot more now.

I'll write back more to the rest of you later. I'm really tired. Much love to you all.
Malerie, Holly, seabiscuit hugs to you all.

New to all this sharing, sorry if I come off like a whiner.
 

This is my first "support group" I've joined. I've had a problem with depression ever since I was in middle school, I'm 23 now. Last June I was 160 lbs and I got down to 122 by December from exercising and eating healthy. I was surrounded by friends in my home town in Iowa and wanted to surprise my husband who is in the military and was gone at the time. Since then, we have been relocated to San Diego, California where I have no friends or family, although I have tried, maybe not hard enough. Anyways, my husband left for 3 months to North Carolina and I've fallen into a slight depression, missing him and my mother and aunt who I am extremely close with. I've gained weight and am depressed every time I look in a mirror at my body. I'm currently 132 bs (I know, I should be happy, but this body image ordeal kind of messes you up and all I can picture is myself gaining weight back to 160). I try to exercise but it's just not the same alone and none of my work peers are into exercising so I barely work out. Have any of you experienced a similar situation and do you have any advice?

Oh man, folks, this BERP (Big Entropy Reduction Project) is the biggest sustained decluttering effort I've ever done in my life, by a long ways, so I'm really working hard. I had a very productive day today, and I'm exhausted. Because we need more boxes to move the rest of the unwanted books out of the house, I switched my efforts to the kitchen, where I've had three full boxes worth of papers stashed, plus some stuff that wasn't boxed. Most of it dates back to 2008 & 2009, but I was surprised to discover that back then I was still hanging onto stuff from '00! Whoa, and even a letter from my father in the second box: that was stressful for me to see.

Y'all will probably think I'm callous to say this, but I'm not sorry at all that my dad is dead: he really tortured me psychologically right up 'til the very end, by refusing to let me fly down to Texas and say goodbye to him before he went. And then at the very last minute he did a number on me by telling my mother that he wished I were there with him! After he insisted on my not coming down! Fortunately my sister knew he had ordered me not to come, so when my mother started laying a guilt trip on me about not saying goodbye to him, she helped me convince her that it wasn't my fault...sheesh. He had really interesting handwriting, so I'm saving what was probably my last letter from him for use in collage. I may never use it, but that's better than just consigning it to the recycle bin.

I did have another dip in my mood in the late afternoon, probably because I was processing all that stuff. It wasn't as bad as Monday's, though. All the same, I thought sundown would never come and bring me relief. I like the longer days, for sure, but my diurnal rhythm is such that if I have a mood slump like that, I crave night time, which pulls me out of it. Just lying in the darkness and listening to my favorite deejay's rock-n-roll show was really restorative...

And I did my leg exercises tonight—my left leg, which is always tougher than the right. They weren't bad at all: even though I don't have time to walk these days, I'm moving around a lot and going up & down the stairs more frequently and lugging around heavy boxes & heavy bags of stuff out for recycling, so I'm a lot more active than I was before the BERP started.

I need to go to bed, so I don't have time for extended personal comments, but I want to say to Kathleen that I'm so glad you're talking to us about the family issues coming up before your trip to Ireland for your niece's wedding. It sounds like a bunch of us had dysfunctional experiences growing up—not surprising, given that we have problems with mood and with our weight. Good for you for standing up to her this time, and for not giving in to emotional eating! SL36, welcome to the thread! We all try hard to be supportive of each other here, so I think you'll find this a great place to hang out. Holly, so sorry to hear about that stupid jerk messing up your car. I definitely understand what you're saying about wishing you had a dad, but as you can hear from my own experience and other people's, fathers are a mixed bag just like mothers are. Fleur, I want to answer your question about these kittens we're getting in late July or thereabouts: so far we've had two consecutive pairs of oriental shorthairs, both times male & female littermates, but they're gone now. These new kittens will be our third pair. We're childfree by choice, so cats are what we do instead of having human kids. That's why I'm pushing so hard on the BERP, to get the house in decent shape before our new fur-kids arrive! Orientals are very social & affectionate, and also very active, so I want them to have a wonderful home with lots of room to run and play.

Good night, y'all!

good morning

! SL36, :welcome: and nice to meet you. First, getting from 160 to 122 is amazing!! I'm sorry you are not happy with your current weight, many of us would love where you are :D but I completely understand about YOU not being happy where you are weight-wise. Must be very lonely being transplanted in a new place and once you're an adult, it IS hard to make friends. I guess I would try to concentrate more on diet, to lose, if you are having a hard time finding the time to work out. Are you interested in home dvd's or youtube for workouts? that's what I do.

Fi, you are so committed to your project! And thanks for sharing your view of dads..you're right, I should be careful what I was wishing for :D just having a father isn't the same as having a good father.

HI to everyone else. As it's early summer, I am in my element!! enjoying watching my deck flowers thrive, transplanting seedlings, adoring my motorcycle :D and liking going to work. I wish SO much I could feel like this all year, not just from May to September.

I finally slept last night! I feel a bit better. Will write more later.

Hi there,

I just want to pop in and say hi. I'm doing ok, I am frustrated with trying to renew my Medicaid and food stamp benefits. I had my last session with my therapist today, I will miss him.

I'm still fighting this cold but it's getting better.

Take care everyone...

Amy

:o I forgot to subscribe to the thread so have fallen behind. I've got to go back and read everyone's posts. I hit the gym Monday and today but it is definitely more crowded than on Tues/Thurs. :( I did manage to find a free crossramp machine and proceeded to do a 90-minute workout, including a 30-minute speed interval routine. I'm wiped out. :yawn: