Starting to Face Negativity
 

Although only four or five people at work have even mentioned that they've noticed my weight loss, I'm starting to experience some negativity from some of the people who were so critical of my weight before I started my current program.

I'm the 'fat girl'--a common target for the 'mean girls.' Now, I'm nearing the same weight as the overweight women who were most vocal in their criticism of me and I'm starting to see resentment directed toward me. What is wrong with people that they can't just be happy for someone's success? For heavens sake, I am not one of 'those people who think their so great.' I'm just slogging along, trying to lose weight because society kept telling me I was a drain on the national health care pocketbook. (I wasn't but that's the message we all get with the obesity epidemic rhetoric, isn't it?)

I refuse to allow the negative judgement to impact me emotionally but I find it so sad that people feel the need to be hypercritical and lash out just because they aren't happy in their own lives. Putting people down doesn't lift you up. It's just pathetic. Sadly, it's just going to get worse as I continue to lose weight. Can't wait until the day I walk into the office wearing size 16 jeans. :D

Worththeeffort- I'm sorry you have to deal with negativity at work in regards to your weight loss. It seems so often our society is unable to be happy for people's successes unless it impacts them in some way or another. Which is sad, BUT that's what we are all here for! Providing eachother with the much needed praise and support that we don't get anywhere else!!! You will rock those size 16 jeans btw!!!!!!!!!

So no call from the recent job I interviewed for... I'm not going to get bummed though because that always negatively affects my workouts. Nope, I shall be positive. I found a few jobs I can apply to when I get home tonight, so that's always exciting. Also, the job at the Catholic Center I applied to ages ago-- the job posting ends on June 30th. So really hoping and praying I hear something in regards to that. I would be over the moon to work for the Church!!

I'm doing really well food wise. Kinda doing a low carb thing, but nothing as strict as Atkins, though that may be something I try in the future. Just want to see if I start getting results from what I'm doing right now. I'm eatin many more veggies in place of breads, grains, starches, etc which is a huge improvement for me since I'm a bread addict!!! haha! I've always joked that when I'm old and gray, I'll be a plump old woman because I'll just bake bread all day and eat it!

I did a really great weight workout yesterday at the gym. I've incorporated deadlifts into my routine which really get my heart pumping. I really wish I had a friend or new someone at my gym to help me with spotting. I'd like to try heavier weights on the bench or more reps of certain weights, but I'd like to not decapitate myself in the process. I feel awkward asking someone else in there because I just feel like I won't be taken seriously. Everyone I see is lifting super heavy weights. I've just got measly light weights. Also I'm like the only person in their that is heavier and lifting. I know it's a process and not everyone has always looked the way they do now, but it's just difficult. Maybe one day I'll ask for some help.

So my job took away the water coolers we had due to budget issues. This was a bummer because I drank a lot of water this way. So I bought a gallon water jug yesterday, filled it up at home and brought it to work. It's only 10am and I've already drank about 3/4 of it. This is making me drink more water than I did with the water cooler so I think it will be beneficial.

Hope everyone is having a good start to the week!

Hi everyone,

I gained weight. :( Not good. I just have so much going on here, so much stress. I have been eating more. Despite this, my moods are still pretty good. I have so much on my plate, much of it is financial.

I lost my only client to a broken leg. It will most likely be a while until I have her again. I am just guessing though. She broke it last Saturday. I feel so bad for her.


It has been very humid here the past few days. I have had the AC on.

Worththeeffort2, Please don't let the mean people at work affect your wonderful weight loss. You are doing great.

Fi, I am so sorry your kittens are sick. *hug*

and to everyone else, you all are in my thoughts and prayers.

Worthy— My response to your tale is to wish that you had embraced being "the fat girl," back when you were in that role, and fully accepted yourself as a person who happened to occupy more space than (some) other people. Tall people also occupy more space. We each occupy the amount of space we occupy, and it is neither advisable, nor the aim of health-focused weight loss, to strive to occupy the least possible amount of space. At any rate, it never too late for you to accept yourself, embrace yourself, exactly as you are at any given moment. Deep self-acceptance—self-love, in other words—is the cornerstone of all long-lasting change. I suspect you already know that: I'm just writing down my thoughts. Meanwhile, what other people think, and what society says, are both irrelevant to your personal aspirations. In the words of my idol, Patti Smith, be "outside of society." At least that's how I play the game.

Ohio- What type of work do you do? You mentioned you lost your only client.

Fleur, I am a Home Health Aide.

I'm posting because I can't get to sleep. I had a rough day in BERP-land: I discovered yet another banker's box in which I dumped a bunch of random papers some time around 2008. I thought I'd finished with all the boxes like that, but this one was lying in wait for me, deep in the dining room mess. It was hard to go through because it contained evidence of my initial fumbling attempts to save material for use in collage—a bunch of envelopes, for example, in which I stashed some stuff I cut out of catalogs. I don't know what I was thinking back then: I really didn't have a clue as to what was worth clipping. I found it mortifying to look at those pathetic scraps of paper I saved.

I've always been this way, where I look down on the person I was in the recent past. That's why it's so hard for me to maintain my stuff in good order: I hate to go through my papers and weed out what I don't want anymore. After several hours of that today, my self-respect was completely gone. And still is. Gack.

Easing back into things.
 

I am trying, with some success, to get my head back above water after my trip to Ireland. It is amazing how routines can fall by the wayside so quickly, especially if they are routines that tend to have procrastination and avoidance attached to them in the first place. So I am easing back into major laundry, working out on a consistent basis, eating healthy and less at each meal, avoiding unhealhty snacking (especially at night), and many mundane appointments that interfere with all of this. I don't mean to whine about this, but it is overwhelming me and sort of depressing me. I need to focus on taking ONE thing at a time, ONE moment at a time, and getting it accomplished. I feel the weight of it all at once and want to get it done and off my mind all at once, which of course, is impossible. So please send me some ONE MOMENT AT A TIME :dust: to help me get back on track..... or on track for the first time in my life, whichever comes first! :^: I am just so thankful that I don't ALSO have a job outside of the home, because it would send me overboard right now! I haven't even had a chance to enjoy our swimming pool (and do laps for exercise) because we have stayed so busy since being back from Ireland. Okay, I am taking a deep breath and starting over. I can do this..... one thing at a time! Now for some quick personals, so I can get something accomplished around my house.

Worthy: That really angers me that you are experiencing negativity at work because you are doing something that is improving your health and well-being. People like that drive me crazy!!! It sounds to me like JEALOUSY raring its ugly head! Do your best to IGNORE them and continue to MOVE FORWARD with your plan. You are doing the right thing! :hug:

Amy: Glad to hear that you had a good weekend with your family in NYC! Hope your trip to Nantucket is wonderful!!! I went there with my family years ago. It is so nice! :)

flower123: I have heard of Popchips, but have never tried them. I will do that on your recommendation. Thank you for the tip! I like your image of a large orange poppy field to send our food craving gremlins to to put them back to sleep! :lol: I would try about anything at this point, too!!! It really is frustrating! :( BUT....... WE CAN DO THIS!!! I just KNOW we can!!! :D

MonteCristo: Best of luck to you as you restart the Atkins Diet! I would LOVE to do low carb, but I just haven't been able to consistently resist the carbs long enough to lose or maintain any significant weight. If it works for you, though, I say GO FOR IT!!! That is depressing when you reach that moment of realization that your weight is negatively impacting your life. I am there now, too (have been for awhile), and it's no fun! :( Let's use that feeling of discomfort to MOTIVATE us to MAKE CHANGES!!! :hug:

Fi: I say congratulations on MAINTAINING your weight! It beats gaining, especially while you are working so hard on the BERP. Something has to give, you know? I get exhausted and anxious sometimes just READING about all that you have accomplished on the BERP!!! I can't imagine the exhaustion you must FEEL having done all of that (and knowing you still have more to do). You are doing SO WELL, Fi!!! Hang in there and KEEP MOVING FORWARD!!! There is an end in sight! I sure hope your kitties are okay! You can finally REALLY rest and ENJOY your clutter-free home once the kittens are there safely and soundly!!! That time WILL get here, I promise! :hug:

Sabrina: So sorry you haven't received a call-back for another interview for that job you wanted. I trust that God has something RIGHT FOR YOU in store and will present it to you in His perfect timing. Until then, I am keeping you in my prayers that you will be guided to that job! Hang in there and keep the faith!!! :hug: It is great to hear that you are doing really well food-wise! Low carb is the way to go IF you can maintain it! Quick results! Keep up the great work!!! It WILL pay off. I hope that you will get up the courage to ask for help at the gym. You deserve help too, after all! Someone will be glad to help you, I'm sure. They would probably be flattered that you asked THEM for help! ;) Keep drinking that water! It is so good for you! :D

Lisa (ohiofreespirit): Sorry that you gained weight! That is a big bummer, but totally understandable since you are under a lot of stress. Glad to hear that your moods have stayed okay, though! That is so important and the key to turning things around in the weight department. YOU CAN DO THIS!!! Do your best to eliminate ANY sources of stress that you can and get right back on board with healthier eating and being satisfied with less food. I try to make healthy choices so that I can eat more of it when I am craving a lot of food. It is a huge challenge for me, too, but it IS possible! I am also sorry to hear that you lost your only client to a broken leg. Are you self-employed or do you work for an agency that can help you get more clients? Keeping you in my prayers! :hug:

Gotta run! Waving HELLO to everyone else and hoping you are all okay! Please post and give us an update whenever possible! :wave:

Thanks, Kathleen, for the vote of confidence about how much I have accomplished on the BERP. I hope you get your rhythm back soon and can go swimming and enjoy the summer!

Speaking of getting things accomplished, and in the spirit of Kathleen's famous fairy dust, I think I've hit on a better way to nudge you guys into using that slow breathing technique to improve your willpower.

First off, let me tell you the logic behind it. Study after study has shown that people with a lot of variability in their heart rate have increased activity in the so-called "prefrontal" section of their brains—the part that's right behind your forehead bone. That section is responsible for higher-level decision making. Higher-level decision making is what you do when you choose an action, or choose to refrain from an action, because it's in your best longterm interests. The cool thing about this heartrate variability finding is that all you have to do to juice up your higher-level decision making is to make your heart rate, your pulse, more variable.

Now some people with a lot of biofeedback experience can make their heart rate variable, swinging it from fast to slow back to fast again, just by concentrating on doing so. But for those of us who don't have that ability, there's an easy shortcut: slow down your breath rate. With every breath you take, your heart rate naturally varies a bit: that's because when you inflate your lungs, you compress your heart and change how fast it pumps. If you've ever seen an EKG printout, you may have noticed that natural slow-fast-slow-fast rhythm. If you take long slow inhales up to fully expanded lungs, and long slow exhales down to fully deflated lungs, you can make that natural rhythm more pronounced.

Are you with me so far? Slow breathing rate —> More pronounced variation in heart rate —> Increased activity in prefrontal part of brain —> Improvement in "I will" and "I won't" power

So it's not just about relaxing and belly breathing. Think about it this way: as you start your inhale, imagine that the air is a very slowly trickling stream going up through your nose, down into your windpipe, and out into the balloons of your lungs. Let that stream trickle slowly, as sloooowly as you can make it go, until your belly is pooched all the way out and the sides of your chest, too, are lifting up like wings. When you get your lung-balloons as full as they can possibly get, hold it there. Wait for a count of 1...2...3...then let that stream of air start to trickle out, very slowly. Keep that stream steadily trickling out until your lung-balloons are all the way deflated, as flat as you can make them. Then wait for a count of 1, if you can. Then reverse the process and start another slowly trickling inhale. If you feel like you need to start inhaling right away after your lungs are as deflated as they'll get, that's fine, too. Just keep the whole cycle—whether you're inhaling, holding at full, exhaling, and then inhaling again—moving very slowly.

Your aim is to get your breath rate down to 4-6 breaths per minute, which means 10-15 seconds for that whole cycle. So if you can imagine the sound of a clock ticking, hear it tick around 5 times as you inhale, 3 times as you hold your lungs full, and 5 times as you exhale. Don't worry about getting short of breath: your lungs will be putting oxygen into your blood throughout the whole cycle. It's not in the least bit unnatural to slow down your breath rate like this.

How long do you need to keep doing the slow breathing, to get a noticeable change in your willpower? About 10 minutes—or about 50 breaths, if you feel like counting them. Pay attention, after each time you do it, and see how long you need to do the slow breaths, to notice an improvement in your willpower. The improvement will last quite a while—a few hours, in my experience. 10 minutes is not very long of a break, even in a really busy day, for such a big benefit. And you can do it as many times in the day as you want.

There's even a quick way to test whether it's working for you. You don't have to wait until the next time you're tempted to eat junk food or overeat, to notice the change. Give yourself a small job to do, right after you do your slow breathing—some job you don't often feel like doing. Like picking up a room, or balancing your checkbook, or taking a walk, or running an errand....the possibilities are endless. Notice how much easier it is to set yourself in motion on doing that job.

Trust me: I've been using slow breathing to get myself working on the BERP, day after day after day. I have no innate desire to de-clutter my house, believe me. It takes "I will" power, and I'm getting that power from slow breathing.

sounds like you are considering your other posts on here and other weight loss forums within the last few hours.

.

Ok, so I caved and weighed myself today...down almost 5lbs in 3 days! Sure, it is probably mostly water weight, but it is the biggest downswing I've seen in ages. Plus I'm not hungry or tired, or even craving things I shouldn't have. The only thing I've been craving is water. :) I'm really getting tired of salads though, not sure I can eat one everyday...so may have to make some adjustments next week.

Hi there,

Believe, I'm so glad that you like Nantucket. I love it there! A relative of mine has a house there. I've been exhausted but I long for days on the beach there.

I've been struggling with some health issues, mainly my iron deficient anemia making me exhausted. I had IV iron yesterday. I have three more treatments.

Have a good day!

Amy

Heading to Lake
 

We are headed up to the lake for a long weekend. My niece (the one who was just married in Ireland) has her in-town reception Saturday, but we will just commute back and forth from the lake for it. Worked out this morning with my trainer. She switched some things up on me and I got a fantastic workout!

MonteCristo: Congratulations on losing almost 5 pounds in 3 days!!! :carrot: You must be thrilled! Keep up the good work! :D

Fi: Thank you for taking the time to explain in detail the deep, slow breathing necessary to increase willpower. You explained it better than the book! :D It sounds so tedious, but I will give it a try soon. That is great that you actually notice a difference when you practice it.

Amy: Sorry that you have been exhausted from iron deficient anemia. IV iron does NOT sound like fun, but I hope it helps you to feel better. Hang in there and you can rest on the beach at Nantucket soon!!! :hug:

Holly: I miss seeing your posts! I know you are super busy with your summer job, but please post soon and let us know how you are! Hope all is well! :hug:

Will try to check in from hubby's computer at lake or I'll post late Sunday night. Have a wonderful weekend everyone! :)

Kathleen— Oh no, the slow breathing is not tedious at all: I'm sorry that I made it sound that way. It takes a few breaths, even a dozen breaths, to sink into the slow rhythm of the inhale-exhale cycle, but once you're there, you'll find it quite peaceful & relaxing. Be sure to put yourself in a comfortable chair with your feet up, or lying on your side or back on a comfortable couch, so you won't be distracted as you concentrate on breathing sloooooowly. You'll like it, especially after you try doing a small task right afterwards, and you see what it can do for your willpower!

MonteCristo— Way to go on that 5-pound loss! You don't have to eat a salad every day. At least I don't. Follow through on that loss now, and keep going... =grin=

Hi there... I'm still a bit tired today. I have three more iron infusions left. I'm looking forward to being away, I'm just so tired.

Does anyone know the name of a vacuum that can be used for vacuuming up small animal paper bedding? Thanks.

Amy

hi. I am drained from a plumber being in my home since Tuesday. Hard to have his energy there every day. Tomorrow he will be back at 6:30am. It has thrown off my eating. And my sleeping. I normally do not get to sleep until very late. i have further cemented my weight gain since he has been there. The job is not completed yet. So I do not know when my life will again normalize. I have not had hot water since early tuesday morning. And didnt know then that it would be turned off. So I have not showered since Monday. Bigger and smelly, lol. i just hope he finishes up on Friday. Otherwise I will be without hot water in my home until Monday. AND I am having a VERY hard time with his energy. I also am having a terrible time with what the scale is saying.

Today I ate alright except I went to Costco and the samples were big ad full of carbs and fats. Carbs and fat a-plenty. The result of my indulgence is depressing. I have to find my way back to losing that 5 lbs that i gained. Otherwise I will keep going and going back up the all too familiar yoyo. And thats one scary thought. Sorry to be so down. And for not responding to what other people wrote.

Flower123 - That is one serious plumbing problem! Short of replacing everything in your house I can't even imagine what must have gone wrong...I really hope he gets finished. I understand completly about having someone else in your home throwing everything off.

Amy - I hope you start to feel rested soon. That tired/worn out feeling makes everything so much harder. :hug:

Fiona - I'm going to definitely try that slow breathing exercise. It sounds like a perfect combo with my new hamock! :)

Kathleen - Have fun at the lake and reception. Sounds like you have a lovely weekend planned.

Ohio - How are you doing? I was glad to hear your mood was still good even dealing with some financial issues. Any kind of stress takes a toll and sometimes financial can be even worse. :hug:

Fleur - You are really on a roll lately. Killing it on the mood, diet & exercise front! Keep it up!! :carrot:

This has been an awesome week for me so far. I could almost slap myself for not doing low carb sooner. The difference in how I feel is about as dramatic as when I started my depression medicine. Like I'm a whole new (and greatly improved) me. I wish there was a way to "tape" this feeling so I remember it next time I want to do something ridiculous like eat a 1000 calories burger and wash it down with a 1000 calorie shake. :o

Oh, and though I probably should back away from the scale (:^: ) I'm now down 6lbs! I can't even begin to express how happy I am about this, so I will just add a bunch of dancing veggies!
:broc: :carrot: :broc: :carrot: :broc: :carrot: :broc: :carrot: :broc: :carrot: :broc:

Another hard BERP day in my collage studio. I peeked into a couple of boxes just to see what they had in them, and was appalled to see a confused mess of cosmetics, ointments, insurance papers, ragged garments, you name it. And a couple of others contain way too many saved articles about Patti Smith that I will have to go through piece by piece, just to make sure I don't throw out anything I would be heartbroken to lose. (Patti Smith has been my one and only idol for nearly 40 years.)

But I put the lids back on those boxes. I'm not going to deal with them now, even if they are taking up space in my collage studio. I've been peeling back the layers of the contents of this house that belong to me, and I'm back into the 1990s now. It's not easy to face stuff that old.

Tonight Bob moved the 11 remaining boxes of books we are giving to charity out to the porch, for a scheduled pickup of tomorrow AM. I added a couple of organizational doodads I never figured out how to use—still like new and in their original boxes. I've discovered over the years that all I need to stay organized is my brain, my iPad, and a whole lot of bookshelves.

Then I had the idea that it was time to take up the rug in my studio. Bob just vacuumed it this morning, so it looked bright and fresh. It's a strange rug because it's in the irregular shape of a tropical island, one big enough to have three different beaches, mountains in the interior, some huts, and various animals—all depicted on the rug in bright colors. I found it in a children's catalog back in 1996 and fell in love...I adore tropical islands, and have been to Hawaii three times so far—the last time for a whole month all by myself in a tin shack on the beach...paradise indeed.

But it's time to say goodbye to my tropical island rug, because I want floor space in my studio to set up a couple of easels and have paint & brushes & other art supplies on a rolling taboret I have. I'm going to be making larger collages, and I need open space in which to set them up as works in progress.

So we rolled up the rug and put it out with the books & other stuff, to be picked up tomorrow. Bob vacuumed the wood floor. My studio looks amazing, and I'm thrilled by all the creative doors that are opening in my head! The BERP, when finished, is going to be really good for my art.

And yet I have a sense of loss...oh well...

By the way, MonteCristo, I know exactly what you mean about feeling like a whole new improved person after going low carb. I finally gave up sugary treats last November, and since them have been eating just meat, cheese, macadamia nuts (they're low carb), and salads. I love it! I have real cream twice a day. I get to eat fatty foods like salami (organic, humanely raised meat; no sugar or other toxins). My taste buds are happy. I never feel hungry for longer than it takes to grab another slice of brie. I'm losing steadily. And I have so much energy! =grin=

MonteCristo, the plumbing work is removing the water heater and boiler/furnace. Replacing them with one unit that does both. But he had to build all new piping. I dont understand it all. I cannot imagine why it took so long. But it did. Lots of piping in the utility room. I know they were honest. Am positive about that.

Awesome that you are doing so well on the low carb diet. I went low carb 1 1/2 years ago. Huge difference. But I cannot cut them out completely. When I tried that it was not physically healthy feeling. The weight comes off so well with low carb and low fat as I was doing. SO awesome that you are doing it. Congrats on the weight loss !

Fiona W same as above. Awesome that you are able to do the low carb thing.

I do not know how to get back that dicipline to stop the hot chocolate. While it is sweetened with stevia and has water and fat free almond milk, the cocoa powder itself is high in calories and carbs. And I am drinking so much of it. I hate these binge things I get on. This one has been getting worse. Keep trying to stop. Attempts to limit to even 4 cups a day seem futile. Drinking A LOT of the stuff.
Need to find the way to stop. Keep trying. But going back. Could be because cocoa/chocolate is good for the endorphins. I think I am just an addict.

Good morning, all. :sunny: Thank you very much for the support. IBelieve, I think you're correct. I think there is an expression of jealousy about my weight loss and just the basic desire to have a target of gossip. :blah: From the outside, I expect my weight loss appears easy. Because I don't talk about my journey with these particular women, they have no clue about the difficulty of this process. :lifter: I wore my larger clothes throughout the winter to save money but it also concealed how much I was losing. For these women, when I showed up at the office wearing jeans that actually fit, my new figure was surprise, I'm sure. :eek: :D

Over 3 hours of cardio on the elliptical this week and I've managed to lose another pound. :woops: I'm taking stock of the kitchen later this morning, then heading out to do my grocery shopping for the week. The weather has finally clicked over to "summer" mode. It is going to be hot and humid this weekend.

After work yesterday, I went to the bike shop and bought myself a stylish new helmet. The one my husband picked out for me looked like a batter's helmet without the ear flap. In other words, butt ugly. Yes, I am that vain. Plus, it is too large and flops around when I'm riding on a dirt road. The professional at the bike shop made sure the new helmet fits me properly. I also invested in a rearview mirror and one of those blinky lights for increased visibility. :bike:

On the way home last night, I measured out a four mile loop that I can ride from the house that will keep me safe and close to home until I feel like a skillful enough rider to go further. My goal is to be able to do a quick-paced, 10-mile ride by Labor Day.

The other excitement for me is that I've stopped taking my birth control pills and it seems to be helping my mood. :woohoo: I ran out a couple weeks ago and accidentally tossed the Rx number, so went for a week without. During that time, my mood was definitely buoyant but I thought it was just because I was on vacation and the sun had finally come out. I finally got the prescription refilled and after only three days of taking the pills again, my mood completely tanked and I felt totally "hormonal" and pissy. :bomb: I decided on Thursday, that I would stop the pills again to see what would happen. Immediately, my mood improved. :love: Since I have been taking the pills simply to regulate my period and not for birth control itself (my husband had the big snip), I'm going to stop altogether and wait to see how things go.

Well, enough silliness. Have a wonderful weekend, everyone.

Hi everyone,

This was an interesting week. I began low carb as a means to lose weight and so far I think it's been successful. Today I weighed in at 181.5lbs! WOOP!!!

I didn't get a call about that job, BUT I did apply for a part time position at a pro life agency. Praying I get contacted for an interview. Also, the Catholic Center position will close on Monday so praying to hear from them for an interview as well.

I'm staying positive, but considering looking into some counseling. I need to check with my insurance to see what the process is, etc but I think it could be very helpful for my depression and up and down mood. I have a lot I'm dealing with right now and it would be nice to have someone educated in counseling to help. We will see how this goes.

My hubby and I will be going to visit his brother who is in prison. It will be the first time we can visit so we are excited. He had a very short sentence and only has about 2 months left, but the process for getting approved for visits takes a while. We're excited to see him as it's been 4 months since we saw him last prior to him going in. Letters and emails just aren't very good. Plus we'll get to buy him some food. I guess they don't feed them well at all there as he has lost weight. He was a healthy weight before, so it obviously the food content and amount. He made a stupid mistake to get in there, but we will all be happy to see him leave. He realizes his mistake and I think has definitely changed for the better. I know his faith has been strengthened, which I'm very happy for.

Fleur: I hope you and your husband have a good visit with your brother-in-law. I'm glad you'll have a chance to see him. I have a young cousin who got wrapped up in non-violent drug trafficking and is pleading guilty to her charges. Federal Law says her minimum sentence should be 10 years, which has upset my parents since it is unlikely they would be here to see her return to society.

I've read that since she's entering a guilty plea and is undergoing drug treatment in advance of her sentencing, she may get a significantly reduced sentence but no one will know until she appears in court. She'll have to serve her time in a federal facility. Her grandmother is hoping for Connecticut, because it is the closest but who knows? Hopefully, she'll receive some sort of job training.

This whole prison thing is entirely new to the family. No one knows the rules or regulations. What's allowed? What isn't allowed? How do you find out? When she was in County Jail waiting to enter drug treatment, my father sent her $10 for commissary. The state took $4 of it for "processing." I had no idea the state was taking a 40% cut of any money prisoners received from family. The entire experience is like finding yourself in a maze.

worththeeffort2, I am so impressed by your dedication to the exercise. 2 hours on the eliptical in a week? Oh that is impressive. And now bike riding?
Awesome re the mood change when stopping the pill.

woke at a normal time. But it was too daunting to face the day of food cravings. After a while I went back to sleep.

Am going to try do the little jogging trampoline for 7 minutes. Thats about the max this exercise avoidant person can do. I also plan to stay strong re intake of food today. Had a rocky start with the hot chocolate. Very rocky. But I will do my best the rest of the day to keep calories and carbs to bare minimum. Except for the cocoa powder, of course. Projected calories : 1260.

Hi there...

I hope that everyone is having a good weekend. I'm going to bed early because I get up early tomorrow to head to Nantucket! I'm very excited, this should be a lot of fun. Last night I watched The Fault In Our Stars, it is an excellent movie, sad but very well done.

Have a nice evening. I'm off to track some points.

worththeeffort- Yeah the whole system is very flawed. The rules are ridiculous. In regards to what you can wear to visit, no khakis, no blue, and one other color. If you stand up at any time during the visit, that ends the visit. The rules go on and on.

Sorry to hear about your cousin. I believe our laws are too harsh in regards to drugs. My brother in law isn't in for drugs but for another reason. A lapse in judgment. The saddest part of the whole situation is we didn't really expect him to go to prison. His lawyer was pretty confident he wouldn't serve any jail time. He was wrong. Many people provided character witness statements for him including family, close family friends and our priest. The judge basically called us all liars. It was a really sad excuse for justice.

I'm excited to see him. His parents saw him today and I guess other prisoners are starting to get jealous of him and his soon approaching release. They are trying to get him involved in things and fight, etc. I'm praying he's able to lay low and stay safe. We had never dealt with a family member in this situation, but it really makes you understand how sending someone to prison affects not only that person, but so many more.

As a last note, the judge who sentenced him was up for reelection this year. Unfortunately, no one ran or will run against him, so he will remain on the bench. :/

made the decision to not allow cocoa powder in my home anymore. I will have some tomorrow morning and then dump the rest. I cannot control myself with it. Its what I call a "trigger food". The calories are a whopping 42 per tablespoon. And I think I read there are 18 grams of carbs in a Tbs.I use a shameful amount in a day of cocoa drinking. There are cocoa powders on the market that are lower in calories. But this is dutched. And it is very good quality.

I still will have the black cocoa powder which is only 10 calories / 3 grams of carbs per T. IT is so intense that it can only add it to things. eg my dandiblend drink which i do not like very much. I always have added in the black cocoa powder to the other.

SO this should take care of the problem. Although it will remove the reason I have to wake up in the morning. So its a trade off. I have tried doing this before. I will try yet again.

flower123: Thanks for your support. I have to admit, I'm not a big fan of exercise but I'm learning that it is really the only thing that works if I want to burn fat and make serious progress in my weight loss.

I've stated it here on the board before: it isn't a matter of "can" and "can't"; it's a matter of "will" and "won't." If you're facing a workout you don't want to do and tell yourself, "I can't! I'm too tired," or "I can't! It's too hard," what you're really saying is, "I won't. I don't want to." Reframing my perspective in this way forces me to own my actions. That way, if I don't lose weight or if I lose ground in my fitness, it's because I won't do the work necessary for success and I have to own that decision.

Sorry about you having to toss the cocoa powder. I purged all my cupboards, too. Anything containing carbs, including flour, I packed up and gave to my parents several months ago. Pasta, crackers, my beloved Jasmine rice, all gone. The only high-carb food we have in the house now are my husband's raisin bran and dried prunes. :) He does not have to fight me to maintain possession, trust me!

:cheer2:Holly: :cheer3: We miss you! :D I hope things are going fantastic for you at work. Since it is a gorgeous New England weekend, I hope you are getting a chance to get out and ride.

Amy: Nantucket sounds dreamy. I hope you squeeze every ounce of fun out of the trip that you can.

Last night, I took a (car) ride with my husband to map out the route for my 10-mile goal ride on Labor Day weekend. The loop is actually 10.8 miles from our garage door back to our garage door, so it works out perfectly. There are a number of hills (which means there's an equal number of downhills!) and about 5 miles of it will be on a dirt road. Very little traffic, so safe in that regard.

I did some online research last night about the kind of training I should be doing. What I found is that I need to up the number of times a week that I go out on the bike to four or five. That means I need a couple more pairs of padded bike shorts so I have something to wear while some are in the laundry. I also found recommendations that I should be doing bodyweight training--crunches, lunges, and the like--in the hundreds. Hundreds? Talk about can't and won't! :rolleyes: I am so totally NOT a fan of crunches.

I do need to come up with a weight training program I can stick to, however. Despite Sabrina's great support here, I just don't feel comfortable in the free weight area of the gym because I don't know what the heck I'm doing. :( I'm going to have to hire a trainer to teach me a routine and supervise for a while. Making a monetary commitment may be the only way to force myself to carry through and stick with a program.

On a different note, I finally decided on my non-food reward for reaching the 80 pounds lost mark. I've scheduled to get a set of artificial nails while I'm on vacation next week. It's a totally girly-girl thing to do, I think, and is something I've never done before though I have thought about it. I'll get a set of business-length, traditionally shaped nails. I want them to look natural and still be able to type! I'm currently obsessing over what color to have them painted.

Other than our niece Margaret standing us up for dinner for the third time in a row (she's been really busy, so I forgive her), I had a really nice weekend. It was a treat to have those 11 boxes of books, plus some other stuff, plus the rug I no longer wanted, picked up by charity and gone, gone, gone. Now all we have in the downstairs hallway is a box I'm saving because it's a perfect size for kitten play, and I can start thinking about displaying the highlights of the mail art I've saved on the wall there. That would be yet another batch of stuff up off the floor. Wide open floor space is what it's all about!

My great-niece Grace came over on Saturday afternoon for another round of sorting clippings, and we had some terrific conversation about art. She's goin' great guns with her art journal, and I was able to give her some tips on fine-detail snipping, drawing with a smoother line, creating personal handwriting alternatives, and how to make collage postcards. I think the most rewarding part of the afternoon for me, though, was taking her into Bob's and my bedroom to look at the dozen or so large prints we have up by Van Gogh, Picasso, Kandinsky, Klimt, Gauguin, et al., and talk about composition. She seems not to have had much exposure to fine art, because her jaw was dropping in delighted amazement as we went from print to print and observed what they had to teach us. Nothing like looking at art with a newcomer to see familiar images with new eyes! It makes me want to schedule a trip with her this fall to hop the Metro into DC and visit the National Gallery. It's been way too long since I've paid homage to my favorite paintings there, and they rotate stuff a lot in the newer wing, so who knows what wonders we might encounter? =smile=

I don't have an update on the kittens 'cause Julie had to make a short trip, but I'm hoping to get one in a day or two. I think of little Oscar often, urging him to "Get well, well, well" and "Grow like a weed!"

As always, I'm sorry I don't have time for personals because of the ongoing BERP, but please know that I'm reading your postings with care and wishing all of you the best!

Visit went great today. It was so nice to see my brother in law. Got some sad news though, apparently some other inmates stole a lot of his commissary stuff. Very petty. He was also jumped by another inmate, hit several times, and the guy tried to choke him out. Luckily, he knew how to defend against that and was able to get out of it. We're praying so hard that the next few weeks go by quickly so he can come home. It was so hard to leave him there... :/

Hoping to hear something in regards to job interviews this week. One at the Catholic Center, the other at the Crisis Pregnancy Center (A pro-life organization.) Please pray or provide positive thoughts for me... I know most of you are! Thank you!

Fiona - You are my decluttering (BERP) hero. I am amazed at how much your have been accomplishing, and your difficulty level is set pretty high. I just get to toss everything...you have to go through it and sort it on an artistic level that I can't even imagine. That you've been sticking to it so faithfully is trully amazing. And it is nice to see another on the low carb train! :)

Flower - I certainly didn't mean to insinuate that you were being cheated...it's just that my Dad and I do a lot of remodelling, so I have an interest it the subject. As for the low carb, I think different people are suited for different diets. Unlike a lot of people who have negative reactions at the beginning and have to adjust to low carb, I feel fabulous from the first meal. Good for you on removing cocoa, that must be hard. How are you doing so far? The good news is the cravings usually die away in 4-5 days once you give up something. So hang in there.

Worth - Excellent job on the elliptical. Three hours is awesome. Congrats on your loss too. Nice job on stumbling into something to improve your mood, and a simple fix too!

Fleur - Another one trying low carb. It's an epidemic! :D Wishing you the best of luck in your job search.

Amy - Have a blast in Nantucket!

Pretty standard weekend for me. It rained on and off all weekend, so I basically stayed inside curled up on the couch with my pets. I did complete all my goals for the week...stayed completely on plan for induction, exercised at least 20 minutes everyday, and didn't leave dishes in the sink overnight. :) This next week, adding to that, I plan to add daily yoga and exercising Sydney (my lab mix). She needs to lose some weight, she's at 52 pounds and really shouldn't weigh more than 40. I'm doing a semi- atkins diet for her, lol. She already eats a really good grain free dog food. But I cut her back quite a bit, which normally has the results of her stealing the cat food or else chewing up everything in the house. But I've been adding like 1/2 tsp of bacon grease to her food, and it seems to satisfy her. Plus it is great for her coat. So we'll see how it goes. But she needs the exercise, and it certainly wouldn't hurt me to get a little extra too!

Ugh—I'm BERP-ed out. The weekend's time off wasn't long enough. And yet I can't stop BERP-ing: every room I happen to walk through I get hung up on sorting things into recycle, trash, keep...it's driving me nuts. I need a complete break from this house!!

Fortunately, an opportunity for such a break has arisen. There's gonna be a gathering of Bob's family—his mom, his sis, our niece Margaret, I don't know who else—at Full Circle Farm (FCF) in south-central Pennsylvania over the 4th of July weekend. And Bob says we can leave early, perhaps tomorrow, and have a few days up there alone—yippee!

FCF is not a working farm anymore: it's been turned into a nature preserve by Bob's mom, and she's deeded the property to the two of us. The pleasant & tidy 19th-century (restored) farmhouse is nestled in a tiny valley where all the land from the wooded ridgeline down to the stream, up to the other wooded ridgeline, belongs to us. I've been trying to get Bob to go with me up to the farm (it's just 3-4 hrs away) for months & months, in fact years, but his agoraphobia has stood in the way. He's better now, enough better to be willing to go up there, so I'm jumping at the chance to enter a totally different headspace for a while: very rural, utterly quiet, no internet, nobody calling, hammock on the wide porch, walks in the forest...you get the picture. Maybe I'll only take French-language books with me, just to make things truly alternative. I could do some iPad painting...

Oh, and I made a collage I think y'all will like: it's called "a certain delicacy of intent". =smile=

Hi there!

I'm having a lot of fun in Nantucket! Tonight we're celebrating my birthday, I'll be 38 next month, yikes!

Take care, I hope everyone is well, bye for now.

Amy

Worththeeffort- If you go with a trainer, just let them know your interested in focusing on free weights. I had a free training workout at my gym and they had me do a bunch of other stuff I could easily have done on my own, but didn't show me anything about the free weights. I ended up just teaching myself.

So Monday has come and gone... I so much wanted to see a missed phone call on my phone today, but I didn't get anything. Also no emails. I get so excited about potential jobs, it's a real bummer when you don't hear anything. I know it is just Monday, but it's still difficult.

Also it's run-up to the 4th of July..people get sluggish and distracted...something will come! :)

Welcome!
 

2salads: :welcome2: to the group! I am getting ready to start our Ups & Downs Support Group: July 2014 thread. Please look for us and continue to post and tell us a little (or a lot) about yourself. Glad you posted! :)

Please Look For The July 2014 Thread!!!
 

New
 

Hi I'm giving this a shot. I am 24 turning 25 on Sunday. I am a mother to two boys ages 2 going on 3 and a 1 year old. I just got out of a 5 year old abusive relationship. Now I'm a single mother who is tired of being fat. I am loosing weight but it just seems to not be happening fast enough. I can't wait to be skinny again. I'm so lost on what to do with my life. I been cooped up for 5 years due to my previous relationship situation and now I have no friends and I am soo lost on what to do with my life. What can I do for fun, who do I talk to? etc... I'm scared of having to finally face the world.

Hi,

I've just read your conversation and I identified myself 2 years ago. According to my experience I think that motivation is the most important thing in the whole process of changing habits, weight loss, exercises etc. You can motivate yourself with motivational articles, quotes, pictures, music. When you will motivate yourself, everything is much more easier...

Stay Positive and Good Luck !!!

All the best