I'm in FL. I got to the airport at about 12:30 for my flight that was scheduled to leave at 3:28. No one was at the ticket counter until 2:20ish. The flight was delayed until 5:02. I got pat down and a full body scan in security twice (I went through once, went to McDs which turns out is outside of the secure area). The flight didn't leave until 5:30. The flight itself was uneventful. The seatbelt extender worked fine. Having two seats was a good idea. They pack people in like sardines. It's great to see my mom. Haven't seen her since Xmas. Oh both airports weren't too bad as far as crowds.

Sunny day (supposed to be 92)! Headed for the pool soon.

Well, I'm workin' like mad on the BERP, which is going very slowly. =sigh= I don't really have much else to say. My mood is holding steady, even during the afternoons—usually my worst part of the day. I wish I could take a day off to make a collage, but until I begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel, I live and breathe for the BERP. One thing all this physical labor is doing for me: my insomnia is gone! I'm sleeping straight through, eight hours a night. I wonder if clipping magazines is enough exercise that it will speed up my weight loss: it sure does make me perspire. I'm content to wait and find out on my regular weigh-in day, the 22nd.

Anyway, I don't have time to greet y'all personally, but I'm sending warm thoughts in your direction!

Gah is right about the fiance acting so childish! and trying to put you in the middle!! I HOPE the angst will not push you into having sugar when you've been doing so well :hug:

Coffeeshopgirl - :hug: we are here for you :)

Kathleen - Oh thank you for the pup pics! Griffin is cute and OMGosh at Lucy, what a CUTE face on that little girl :D Oh I am so sorry that the small indiscretion (candy bar) was made you feel yucky. Well now you know that they don't taste as good as you think, and the results are regrettable. Hang strong!

Hi Sabrina, how was your day?

Seabiscuit, I"m so glad you had a beautiful day, and you are so wonderful to do that hospital volunteer work .

Fi, you are making such a dent in your BERP! and very good to hear that the insomnia is gone.

lilturtle, so glad you made it! I would have been :mad: at getting there so nice and early for check-in and no one there! and delays. BUt now you're enjoying WARMTH and sun I hope and a pool :cool:

Hi worththeeffort2, Ohio, Chelsea, projectjudi, 1life2liv, and Hope!

Today was FINALLY sunny! :sunny: So as I had no excuse, I was outside for over 2 1/2 hours raking, picking up branches, and cleared off our deck, which was a horror show of discarded crap, leaves, pine needles, dirt, ugh! It looks FANTASTIC now. The lawn is leaf-free. Soooo.....my DH comes home, pauses at the door before coming inside, and DOES NOT SAY 'WOW EVERYTHING LOOKS GREAT' or anything like that...he chooses to say, 'where is the sensor for the thermometer?" It is apparently a small piece of white plastic that was on the deck table...I immediately felt the blood rush to my face and get red..he would NEVER do anything like that physical work, I am the only one around here to do it, and that's the reaction??? I said shortly, 'well I guess I raked it, and it's gone, sorry' and just stalked away. I'm still steamed. I shouldn't get so upset but things like this make me want to be single!!!!!!!! It also makes me want to stuff my face out of anger, and we don't even have anything 'good' but i would do it with peanut butter and bread!!!

Hello!
 

Hello Support Buddies! Today was a gorgeous day! I walked my dogs for 25 minutes, but my eating wasn't great. I am going to walk on the treadmill tonight for some more exercise and aim for healthier eating tomorrow.

coffeeshopgirl: Happy to know that you are feeling our support! :) I hope you DO keep coming back! Hope all is going okay with the stress that you are dealing with. That's great that you are using positive self-talk with yourself. It really does help. Hang in there! :hug:

Amy: Happy to hear that you had a beautiful day where you are, too! Hope you took some time to enjoy it! Good that your friend is going to help you pack this weekend. You can finish that box! I know you can. "Just do it!" ;) Nice that you volunteer at your local hospital.

MonteCristo: Sorry that you are feeling down today. :( That is so childish, unfair, and manipulative of your Dad's fiance to try to put you in the middle of their spat! Good for you for NOT taking the bait! Sorry this is all making you crave sugar, but DON'T CAVE IN!!! You have done so well!!! Do your best to stay focused on YOURSELF and YOUR life and YOUR needs. You matter! Be strong for YOURSELF!!! :hug:

Trish (lilturtle): So happy to hear that you made it to Florida okay! Your delay in leaving must have been so frustrating. But you made it through everything!!! YAY for YOU!!! :D Enjoy the sunshine :sunny:, the pool, and time with your mom! Thanks for checking in! :)

Fi: Keep on BERPing!!! YOU CAN DO IT!!! Glad to hear that all of the physical labor has chased away your insomnia and that your mood is holding steady. You can reward yourself later, when the BERPing is done, by making a collage. :) Thank you for taking the time out to post and say hello!

Holly: How are you? When did you decide to begin your summer job? I hope all goes well for you!

Chelsea (CDubsGotGoats): Haven't heard from you in awhile. Are you still reading along?!? Hope all is well!

Waving HELLO to everyone else! :wave:

Holly!
 

Holly: I just read your new post. Great job on the yardwork!!! So sorry that DH ignored your good deed and focused on the ONE thing missing. :( I hate it when that happens!!! :mad: Try to stay proud of your hard work and not let his comment deflate you too much! And, especially DON'T let yourself stuff your face out of anger!!! You will regret it. Just do this to him behind the door: :p ! That's what I do. :lol: Thank you for the puppy compliments! :D

Wicked sore back muscles tonight. I went to the fitness center after work and did the rowing machine and circuit training. By the time I was doing my walk/jog intervals, my back was starting to seize up. I've used some Blu Emu spray on my back and am sitting with a heating pad. Thank heavens tomorrow is Wednesday and my regular day-off from working out.

Holly: I'm so sorry that your husband is unable to appreciate the work you did in the yard. I'm also sorry that he is unwilling to do physical labor. On a positive note, congratulations for all the incredibly hard work you did and the fact your yard now looks beautiful. Try to focus on the pride you should feel about a job well-done. Plus, you burned a butt-load of calories! We're all proud of you!

MonteCristo: Sorry about the situation with your father's fiance. Stay strong and maintain your boundaries.

Fleur: I'm glad you had a great day Monday and that work went well.

IBelieveInMe: I'm glad your headache is finally gone. Love the sweet puppie pix!

I hope everyone else is doing okay today. Sorry to not address everyone individually. Holly, you're WAY better at that than I am. Blessings be on all of you. Now, it is off to bed with me.

(P.S. I have to say, I'm not a fan of the ads for Breyer's Gelato Indulgences on 3FC. That's just mean! ;) )

good morning!

Worththeeffort2 - oooh your poor back! I hope it feels better today, and that today is your 'give it a rest' day :D But yay for working out so hard!

Yes, the side ads are mean! :D Sometimes I purposely visit a couple motorcycle related sites before coming here, and then the side ads are for motorcycle boots or insurance instead, LOL.

Kathleen - HI and glad you had a treadmill workout! and my face - stuffing was limited to a big apple with about 2 TBSP of peanut butter, could have been worse.

thanks for the commiseration :hug: I do know that he does appreciate the cleaning up, tidying up, throwing away, raking, everything that I do for this dump :p but just does'nt say it the way I want to hear it. And after I started banging things around in the kitchen, after the clumsy remark, he did say 'everything looks great out there" And I should remember that he truly does not 'see' things that I think are glaringly obvious, and sometimes there is a delayed reaction , especially if something from work was bothering him. And that stupid piece of 'lost' plastic? Apparently it is still out there, because our indoor thermometer thingy is showing the actual temperature outside too (a flippin' 29 degrees!! )

So I decided to go back to work today :dizzy: I have 4 large boxes of stuff to lug there (specialty tools/decorating, books, specialty cake pans/forms, etc) and the pans and such will need to be run through the dish machine (THAT is truly a joy to use, really) then put my stuff on my shelves, catch up with my chef boss, meet the new guy, say Hi to the maintenance guys and promise them cookies soon :D One week from today is Opening Day and everything has to be ready by then. I'm a little excited ;) :carrot:

I just want to complain that Bob is a colossal crab when he's sick. He's had a bad cold, both nose & chest, for a couple of weeks now. Every time I try to interact with him about something urgent, he ends up chewing my head off. I'm sympathetic, of course, with the fact that he feels so bad, but it's really getting on my nerves. And I could use his help with moving things around for the BERP, too. He's too wiped out, though, to do anything physical. =big sigh=

I should be counting my blessings, though: at least it's evident by now that I'm not going to catch it from him. I had a sore throat one night, but I gargled with salt water and that was the end of that.

Another blessing: I got an email from my breeder saying the kittens are doing really well. She didn't have time to send new photos—because she's a special ed teacher, and the upcoming end of the school year means lots of paperwork to do—but she'll be more in touch with me soon. =smile=

Holly— Your summer job involves baking? That sounds fun, but also kind of maddening, when you're trying to stay away from sweets. At least it would be for me!

worththeeffort2— Sorry to hear about your back spasms! I've gotten those before: they hurt like nobody's business. I hope I don't have that happen when I start moving heavy books around, as part of the BERP. As for the nasty side ads, you might consider putting some ad-block software on your browser, or get a different browser where it's part of the package. I'm using a non-Apple browser on my iPad for that very reason.

MonteCristo— What I found striking in your story about your father's fiancée is that it sounds like your dad is picking out the same sort of immature, hysterical personality for his 2nd wife as he did for the 1st one. Do you think it would do any good to point that out to him? Or maybe you already have...

Kathleen (& others)— I've been meaning for some time to share with you a technique for increasing willpower that I learned from that book called The Willpower Instinct. It's a slow-breathing exercise that's been shown to activate the part of your brain that's right behind your forehead, sometimes called "the executive control center": it's the part you use to make rational decisions. What you do is, lie down comfortably on your side or your back, and start by totally relaxing your belly muscles. Then imagine that your belly is a balloon that you slooooowly inflate when you breathe in. Hold it completely inflated for a count of 3, then slooooowly allow it to deflate. Pause for a second or two after the exhale. If it's going too fast, try inhaling and exhaling through pursed lips. Ideally, you should take around 5 seconds to inhale, 5 seconds to exhale, so it will feel like a really long time to you compared to an ordinary deep-breathing exercise. It may take a dozen breaths or so before you get the hang of it. Your aim is to get your breathing rate down to 4 breaths a minute, or 15 seconds a breath, but even if you don't achieve that, slowing your breathing rate way down will still work. Do the exercise for about 10-15 minutes. The best time to do this is before you're going to be facing a willpower challenge—before dinner, for example, or before your tempted-to-nibble time in the evening. But in case you're cooking for other people, it doesn't have to be right before the meal: a few hours before is OK, I think. I have found this exercise to be very helpful! It seems odd that breathing slow would increase willpower, but they've demonstrated the effect in brain scans, so I believe it.

The thing is I don't think my mom wasn't like that originally. Honestly, I think she ended up with some kind of severse post partum depression that never got addressed and things just snowballed from there. So she ended up just running away and rebooted her life as if she was 18 again. Also, Dad never wanted her to leave, so maybe he likes that type of personality. I doubt it would do any good to point it out. One problem is that she is in the Phillipines. He met her online, and has been down there to visit her several times, but there was some legal snafus on her end, so it has taken nearly three years to work through the visa process. Saying anything at this point just seems mean now that so much time is invested, and my Dad is dramatic and would probably be all like "then I'll just be alone forever because I don't have the energy to start over again". Another big problem is I totally don't agree with my Dad's ideas about marriage...he really into the whole submission and husband being the leader and all that...and I'm NOT. That's the stupidest part about this whole thing. The fight was about Dad telling her not to bring up a subject anymore, and she keeps forgetting and doing it anyway. So he got annoyed, and he's so sensitive that he thinks that if you "forget" something you just don't give a carp about the other person, or that you did it on purpose. Anyway, the whole thing sucks, and I can't seem to get over it either. Writing about it here helps, but not much. I got so worked up last night that I ended up crying for a hour, and then I couldn't relax enough to go to sleep until after midnight. And I don't have anyone to talk to about it...

I've thought about sitting down with my Dad and having him talk to me about the relationship and what he sees him her and all that, but that seems like a totally weird thing for a daughter to do. I know we have an odd relationship anyway and I'm way up in his business more than a child normally is with a parent, but is that really my place? But then the divorce was such an unmitigated disaster I certainly don't want that to happen again, not just for Dad's sake (and my sanity) but there are all the kids to consider (and she has one too). I wish he didn't pick some one so far away...then I could have gotten to know her...maybe she isn't so bad, maybe I only hear about it or get contacted by her when she is in a particularly bad place. I wish I didn't feel so responsible for everyone all the time...but I can't help it since I end up picking up the pieces when everything falls apart.

Well I may be moving down here. My mom found a place that I could afford that is like 10 miles from her that we are going to check out. It would be nice to be closer to my mom. My father passed away 2 years ago and he was the only reason I stayed in Pennsylvania. It's something to think about.

We went sandel shopping today and got some frozen yogurt. I got a kid's size. My goal whilde I am down here is to not gain weight. Not shooting for record weight loss while on vacation. I think that is reasonable. So far so good. Getting my hair colored in a little bit then off to the pool this evening. It's great getting out so much.

Good evening, everyone. I am enjoying my night off from working out but I have my gym bag packed to hit the pool tomorrow after work.

Holly: I love to bake sweets and decorate cakes. I can't anymore because it is like being an alcoholic trying to tend bar but I use to spent a lot of time in the kitchen making all kinds of goodies. I cannot bring myself to get rid of my pastry bags and decorating tips, though (even though I haven't used them in almost 10 years!). I'm glad your husband eventually got around to acknowledging your hard work in the yard.

Fiona: Men are such babies when they are sick. I hope he's feeling much better very soon (and that he says thank you for taking care of him!). Can't wait to see more pictures of your kittens.

MonteCristo: Personally, I think it would be a loving thing for you to do to sit down and discuss the situation with your dad. You'd be doing it because you want the best for him, especially if you already suspect this relationship is already destined to end in divorce. You may discover that he's feeling more obligation than love for the woman at this point. If he's open to finding women online, he could simply advertise for a submissive. There are women who actually enjoy being dominated and ordered around. I don't happen to be one of them but I do know that they exist right here in the states. Any woman strong enough to leave her home and family in order to secure citizenship in another country through marriage is going to be an ambitious, strong-willed woman. A submissive woman would just settle for what she could get in her native country and not question it. It's something your dad needs to think about.

Lilturtle: It sounds like you've got something very exciting to think about. Imagine winters with no snow and lots of fitness opportunities because of good weather. Of course, after a horribly long winter, any place warm and green sounds like heaven to me right now!

I think I'll spend some time cuddling with my own husband now and thank him for all that he does around the house so that he knows I appreciate him. :)

Howdy folks! I have two new pictures of the kittens: one and two. They will be three weeks old on Friday. If you happen to notice that their ears look rather too large for their heads, well, that's because they're entering what I call "the bat stage." Oriental shorthairs have large ears as adults: those ears develop way faster than their heads, so orientals go through a phase where they have these little faces and huge ears, making them look like bats. One person who saw our last pair said, "They're space aliens!" Whatever....it all comes together eventually, and they end up, as adults, looking very much like the cats in ancient Egyptian statues. That's because they're descended more directly from the North African desert cats that the ancient Egyptians domesticated, than are the domestic or American shorthairs most people have as pets.

And if that's not enough of the kittens for you, here's a little snatch of video. They're just starting to explore their environment, so the birthing box has been moved into a pen, to keep them out of trouble.

By the way, I think it's very sweet of y'all to be interested in my kittens...=big smile=

Hey everyone!

Sorry I didn't post yesterday. I was pretty busy and got tired earlier than normal.

We started a walking program/contest at work. There are several teams and you record the amount of steps taken in time set aside specifically for the program. We also have a conversion chart to calculate steps for other activities like biking, swimming, yard work, etc. Yesterday I did an interval workout on the treadmill and tried a yoga class. Today I weight lifted and did a cycling class.

Food was great today. Spaghetti for lunch with some pretzels, a chocolate covered strawberry brought to me by the CEO (I couldn't refuse!!!!), and then three pieces of a frozen pizza for dinner. Also a small snack cake for desert. Cals came in at around 1200 today. Whoop!

I'm off work the for rest of the week (easing into the job). I'm going to a grief retreat at Fatima retreat house. I'm really looking forward to it. One of my coworkers paid for my registration (so blessed!) Even though I think it will be difficult, I'm excited.

Friday I'll be taking hubby to the oral surgeon to get his wisdom teeth removed. Poor guy, I'll feel so bad for him.

I came home to flowers and a mother's day card today. Since he won't be feeling well to get them this weekend. It was so sweet, but not not what I dreamed of my first mother's day. No one wants the first to be without the child that made them a mother..

Well, quick post and run for me. I'm exhausted! Goodnight!

Hi there!
 

Hi there, Believe and Holly, thank you for your kind words about my volunteering at the hospital. :). I have volunteered at four hospitals in my life and two nursing homes, I truly love giving back to health care and the community. I'm planning on trying to volunteer at a hospital when I move, I find it to be very rewarding. I am coming up on 200 hours of volunteer work at the hospital where I volunteer! Some of my co-volunteers have thousands of hours.

Fiona, your kitties are beautiful!! I love that orange marmalade color. Orange cats are very special and beautiful.

I'm going to head to bed soon, I watched the end of the movie Beethoven, such a great movie!

I find this to be such a supportive group, so encouraging! Thank you for this support!

Good night and sweet dreams!

I tried to attach a photo of myself and my sweet guinea pig, Snickers. :)

My mom took my picture after I got my hair done. I hate pictures but I thought I'd share.http://tinypic.com/r/2j47wk4/8

I don't know how to attach a picture. Here http://tinypic.com/r/2j47wk4/8

a super quick check in, before I get ready for work, hi everyone! kittens are adorable, and lilturtle, you have really nice hair!

I finally went to the store yesterday and stocked up on healthy items. Now, I just have to stick to eating the healthy stuff ~ in moderation! Worked out with our trainer yesterday and will walk the pups today for exercise. We are in the process of getting our backyard pool ready to swim in, so that will soon be an additional source of exercise! :swim: YAY! It was just installed at the end of last summer, so this will really be our first summer using it. I can't wait! It will also be wonderful exercise for my handicapped daughter. That's the main reason we put the pool in. All docs have always said that will be her best form of exercise. I feel really spoiled having a pool in our back yard, but I LOVE it!!! :D

worththeeffort2: OUCH on the wicked sore back muscles!!! :( I hope your pain has eased up some by now. Good for you for having that gym bag packed for the pool after work. Preparation and planning is so important.

Holly: Glad to hear that your DH finally complimented all of your hard work! I hope your first few days at your summer job are going well. It sounds like you really do A LOT for that place!

Fi: That is funny you mentioned The Willpower Instinct! I am reading it right now...... very slowly and in spurts, along with a few other books. Thank you for your summary on breathing techniques for increasing willpower. I will definitely give them a try! I need all the help I can get when it comes to willpower!!! I hope Bob feels better soon ~ for his sake AND yours! ;) Last, but not least, thanks for sharing the photos and video of your kittens! So adorable! :)

MonteCristo: Good luck dealing with the situation with your Dad and his fiance. It probably wouldn't hurt to discuss your feelings about the situation with him, if you have that kind of relationship. You are in a tough position. Sending you a big hug! :hug:

Trish: Wow!!! How exciting that you might be moving to Florida near your mom! :sunny: One of my best friends just moved there with her long-time boyfriend. It would be nice! Did you like the place you looked at? Please keep us posted. Good for you for getting a kid-sized yogurt. Thank you for the photo of you. Your hair looks great and it is so nice to have a face to go with your name! :)

Sabrina: Glad to hear that you are easing back into work. It sounds like the walking program/contest is going to be great for you! Good luck! You are off to a great start! Hooray for doing well with food and calories, too! I hope you get a lot out of your grief retreat. I will be thinking of you. So sweet that one of your co-workers paid for your registration! Good luck with your husband's wisdom teeth removal on Friday. Sounds painful! That is so thoughtful that your hubby got you flowers and a mother's day card before he is off his feet. My heart aches for you that you don't have your precious Isabelle here with you, since she made you a mommy, but you are every bit her mother!!! :hug: I will be thinking of you on Mother's Day and keeping you in my prayers. :hug:

Amy: Thanks for checking in! I am so happy that you find this group to be very supportive. I do, too! I am thankful for all of you! :grouphug:


Gotta run! Hubby is working on the pool and needs my help! Take good care, everyone! :)

The kittens are so cute Fiona!

Nothing much going on here. Enjoying my little vacation. Going to the pool a little later. I'm doing pretty good controling myy eating.

I was thinking about going through security on my trip down here. I think I was singled out due to my size. Both times I went through I got a pat down. Does anyone else have any experience with this?

Well, I was doing really well for several days there, regarding the BERP stress, but yesterday and today I've had all these interruptions. First there were the new kitten pics, which I wanted to put links to in various places, including here, and send to various people, which involved a temporary hassle with not being able to connect to the server for my domain. Then I went to the Co-op pharmacy to pick up a medication I'm out of, only to discover that it hadn't been called in by my shrink. It still hasn't, because I was unable to get through to his secretary today. =sigh= I'm also kind of flustered because the date has arrived when I need to wrap & assemble & write a note (in French, of course) for Robine's birthday present. Robine, for those of you who missed that kerfluffle, is a friend who lives in Belgium, who cut off communication with me abruptly in January, causing me a bunch of pain. More on her in a sec...Inevitably, I have strong feelings about sending her this gift. As I write these words, I'm feeling pretty overwhelmed!

But I'm trying to focus on the up side, the blessings: Robine and I are on pretty good terms these days. She actually wrote to me in email (!) that she's been in therapy for a few months, and that it's going much better than her previous trials of therapy. One result of it is that she isn't Robine any more: she's now, finally, comfortable with the name her parents gave her, which is Ignace (pronounced roughly "eeg-NAHSS"). ("Robine" was a handle she & I invented together during our long intense email correspondence, when I grew frustrated with her not having a name.) It also sounds like she's processing a lot of what happened between her & me with her therapist. That's really good news! And she put up a Flickr account just for me, which is called "un regard dans ma vie" (a look into my life)—lots of photos from her walks around Antwerp, where she lives, plus many of her own drawings and watercolors. That was a lovely gesture, and I've really appreciated the care Ignace took with it, setting it up so that it sort of tells a story, including a few photos of her handwritten to-do lists, open books with poems she wanted me to read, that sort of thing. The messages in the Flickr account are loud & clear: she values our friendship and does want to get together with me in person...some day. I am content to wait until she is ready, however long that takes.

There's also been the minor (HA!) matter of our next-door neighbor conducting an enormous landscaping project in his yard over the past week and a half, involving lots of people talking loudly, lots of heavy machinery hauling and spreading dirt, making tons of noise, driving over & damaging the roots of our beloved old silver maple—all right next to the big window over the couch where I'm sitting every day, clipping images out of magazines & catalogs. I can't move my project to another room, because I need the ample daylight from that window to see the colors of what I'm choosing to clip, so I can do at least some of the sorting as I work. I'm very weary of hearing that "BEEP-BEEP-BEEP..." of trucks and tractors backing up.

I just wish I could concentrate on the BERP to the exclusion of all else, which is dumb, because of course life goes on. I'm looking forward to Sunday, when I've promised myself a proper day of rest, along with making a collage I hope...

I've been meaning for some time to start going for regular walks, but I haven't done so yet. It drives me nuts to have to leave the BERP for even a short trip to the Co-op. It's like the only way I can deal with all the stress of what needs to be done is to be totally immersed in the project. Yes, I know, walking helps you handle stress much better. =sigh= At least I haven't eaten anything off-plan in quite a while, not even extra helpings of muesli.

Thanks so much, guys, for bein' there to write to!

Went to the pool tonight after work. After about 15-minutes, only five laps (down and back). I am definitely not a strong swimmer but using My Fitness Pal to log my workouts, I've been surprised that swimming actually burns a lot of calories. IBelieveInMe2, you're going to love having a pool right in your back yard. I'm jealous (but in a positive way)!

Hi everyone,

Believe- thank you! I love this group, everyone here is so friendly. Sometimes I feel it's a bit overwhelming to reply to everyone, but I enjoy the group support, thanks!

Worth the effort- I love to swim too. I find it so relaxing and it is so good for my mind and body.

Have a great day everyone!

Amy

I admire those of you who address everyone in your posts. I do read but it is so hard for me to pulll it all together. Please know I do care about all of you and you have my full support.

My mom mentioned me moving down here a couple of days ago. She had been opposed to the idea 2 years ago. I'm scared to bring it up again because I fear she may have changed her mind. I think I annoy my mom. I really need a change. I've lived in the same town almost all my life. The only time I didn't was when I was in college and even then it was only 45 minutes away. If I was closer to my mom I would probably get out more. I just have to build up the courage to bring the topic back up.

Hugs to you, lilturtle. I'm sorry you're going through a lot right now.

I have had a rough day, I need ankle surgery again. I welcome any private messages for support.

Have a good day.

Amy

Hi there,

I just want to say I appreciate all of the support here, I didn't mean to scare anyone off by mentioning that I need surgery. You are all very kind and special, and I enjoy this group a lot.

Take care, be well.

Amy

I'm feeling quite down and alone these days. I have no one in my life with whom I can discuss the trials and tribulations of my weight loss journey face-to-face. My husband considers it whining. He's a typical male: 'just suck it up and do it and stop talking about it.' He doesn't understand that talking is the way a woman de-stresses.

My mother sent me a recipe for cookies in the mail yesterday. For her, weight loss is a competition and she better win and have all the attention during the process and as the final result. Unfortunately, because my husband is not a social person, my friendships have passed by the wayside and I find myself very much alone, sitting silently, and staring out the window a lot of the time.

People I know do come to me often, seeking input, advice, and help but those same people don't seem to be available when I need someone to talk to. Really, it's the story of my life. The past few days, I've felt a need to just talk with someone but there's no one to listen.

Talk about what? Well, my exercise routine, for one. I've been going to the gym for about six weeks now and I can't say that I'm loving it. Although I've tried very hard to be positive and express enthusiasm, I find the rowing machine and circuit training to be tedious and boring and I don't see much in the way of results, either. I did laps the other day and, upon leaving the pool to rinse off under the open shower before heading back to the locker room, I was suddenly struck by the fact that everyone could see my hideously scarred legs. I hadn't even thought of that before but suddenly I was overwhelmed by embarrassment and wanted to hide.

I feel like I've fallen into a rut with my exercise routine but I don't even have someone I can invite to do workouts or even go walking with me. I decided to resolve the issue by paying someone to talk to me. I scheduled a consultation with a fitness coach for next Monday--then he called me and rescheduled to May 20, instead. Lord, I can't even pay someone to talk to me when I need to.

I told folks here about my doing a spring cleaning to donate items to a fundraising yard sale for a former co-worker who is severely ill and needs help to raise money to cover medical costs. Do you know, it took a significant amount of effort to get someone to come pick up the stuff from me? I offered to drop the items off on someone's porch but the woman sponsoring the yard sale did not want me on her property if she wasn't home. I tried not to take it as an insult but it made me feel bad. It was all so very strange. Finally, a niece of the woman showed up on Friday to pick up the items from my car. She was sweet and said thank you and was appreciative of my efforts to help her auntie but I no long felt good about trying to help. As she looked in the bags and boxes she rattled off how this aunt would take this and such-and-such cousin would want that. Just take the stuff and go. Whatever.

I don't expect to be treated like a princess but it would be nice to be treated with some respect for a change. I can't even lose myself in a pint of Ben and Jerry's to salve my wounded pride and God help me, I don't want to get on that elliptical but I suppose I don't really have a choice if I'm going to continue to make progress despite every feeling to the contrary. I just have to keep working; keep going; keep pushing.

For me, it is a very down and lonely day.

Hang in there, Friends!
 

Amy: I just now saw your posts. Sorry that you had a rough day yesterday and need ankle surgery again. :( I had to have two foot surgeries on the same foot exactly a year apart (July 2012 and July 2013) and it certainly doesn't help with exercise and the weight loss journey! But I guess you gotta do what you gotta do, right?!? Try to focus on how you will feel once the surgery is over and you are healed. Hopefully, you will be much better off after the surgery. And THAT is a good thing! When do you think you will have the surgery?

worththeeffort2: Oh, how I feel for you with working out for an extended period of time and feeling like you aren't getting results. I so often feel that way, and it is sooooooooooooo frustrating!!! :( "They" say that we should work out because it is good for our health and not for results, but ~ come on ~ who doesn't want good results?!?! :dizzy: I am so very sorry that you have no one to talk to face-to-face about your loneliness and weight loss journey. Good for you for making an appointment with a fitness coach! That is a very POSITIVE step in the right direction! And if for some reason you don't like this coach, keep searching until you "click" with someone. Having the right person to coach you can make all the difference! I pay a shrink AND a personal trainer to talk about my weight loss and other issues. I don't feel like there is any shame in that. It is all a part of taking care of ourselves, as far as I am concerned. Please hang in there and post all you want about your loneliness and frustration. This too shall pass. Keep up the great work with exercise and watch your food intake and you will HAVE to see results soon! Try to be patient with yourself. You have been doing SO well. Frustrations are bound to come up. It's all part of the process of getting healthy. I am sending you a great big hug :hug: and I hope you can feel it through cyberspace!!! :hug:

Trish: We have also experienced patdowns at the airport...... lots of times, actually; even ~ and especially ~ my handicapped daughter, because she sometimes sets off the metal detectors with her leg braces. I hope you will get the courage up to talk to your mom again about moving to Florida. YOU CAN DO IT!!! You will be glad you did! I will be thinking of you and sending you strength! :hug:

Gotta run. We are at the lake and going out for lunch. I will check in later and try to address the rest of you. Hang in there, everyone! Group hug! :grouphug:

Hi there...

Worth the effort,

:hug: I hear where you are coming from. Some people in my life are more emotionally supportive than others, that can be frustrating, I relate to what you're saying. Keep the faith and believe in yourself. I've been trying to make new friends, many who I will miss when I move but it's good to reach out to others. That's great that you're reaching out here. Hugs.

Believe,

Thank you for your kind words. I wish more people were supporting me in this surgery but I have to do what's right for me. I will probably have surgery in the end of August. I saw my friend today, she is very sweet and kind. She helped me through the first surgery. We laughed and joked and smiled. I was invited to a family function next weekend. I'd like to go but I'm not sure if I will or not.

Have fun at the lake!

Hugs,

Amy

Not a stellar day for me, but not a total loss, either. After an intense morning session of clipping magazines at high speed—I really work up a sweat doing this!—I suddenly hit the wall. I got stressed out, spoke in an unecessarily querulous tone to my sweetheart, and from there quickly slid into depression pain. Not really severe, but bad enough that I had to take a couple Geodons and knock off for the afternoon, if not the rest of the day. 'Got up later to watch the qualifying round of Formula One in Barcelona with my fellow F1 fan, Bob. After that I took another long nap. I may just give up on today and go to bed early.

I need to assemble a birthday present for Ignace (formerly Robine—she's gone back to the name she was given at birth) (pronounced "eeg-NAHSS") for putting in the mail to Belgium. Surely I can slot that in tomorrow, my day off. My niece Margaret & her son Gavin won't be coming over tomorrow, because they're up at Bob's mom's farm, so it will be a nice long day of rest and activities not related to the BERP.

I have spoken to the father of Grace, my great-niece, and he thought my idea of paying her a little bit (minimum wage, 'cause she's only 13) to help me sort my clippings sounds most excellent. I'm waiting for a call back from Grace herself, but it's getting near the end of the school year, so no rush...

worththeeffort2— I hear you! Bob is more supportive of my weight loss effort than it sounds like your husband is, but he still doesn't "get it." Like the other day I mentioned that I was going to order a couple pairs of lightweight capri leggings for walking during the summer, and all he could do was grumble about how many clothes I have already. He hasn't even paid attention as I've relegated one pair of pants after another to the charity pile because they were literally falling off me. I think your talking to a fitness coach sounds like a great idea! Why don't you call the person back and ask them to let you know if they have a cancellation before the 20th? I'll be thinking about you...and by the way, is there any chance you could give us a name to call you by? It doesn't have to be your real name. Names are so much friendlier than handles, don't you think?

Well, that's my news, and all I have time to write, y'all. Have a good Sunday, everyone! =smile=

good morning and Happy Mother's Day, here is a pic of my beautiful Mom who passed away 3 years ago
http://www.barber-lanier.com/fh_live...es/1137167.jpg

Fiona - Yes, it can be if I'm hungry..but actually because it's in a work setting, I'm able to treat it more as 'this is a work product, it is not for me'. I try to think, if I was working in a bank, I couldn't treat myself to money :D And my chef boss is very fit and lean, and only will pop carrots or romaine lettuce as snacks, I'm so insecure that I don't like to appear like a piggy if I'm seen eating my stuff :devil: Sorry you hit the proverbial and physical wall yesterday. I think the idea of the girl helping for the summer is great!

worththeeffort2 - -I"m so sorry !!! I will star * your issues and at least let you know we are listening! *first, it can be so lonely-feeling when you want commiseraton on how hard it is to stick to a diet and work out to better yourself. I do think males try to offer problem-solving as opposed to listening to us just speak about our trials and tribulations. *As for your mom, that must hurt, to feel that she's competing in a competition of weight loss with you, ideally Moms should be thinking of their children's feeling first. *Doesn't it suck when you are always 'there' for people who need someone to listen to them, yet when YOU have the need for that, they don't care? so selfish of them! *I would have felt SO frustrated, when trying to make an appointment with the trainer, to be given such a long time to wait! and it is sad :( that we have to PAY someone to listen to us about our thoughts. *:cheer2: for your commitment to working out!! it IS doing good for you :carrot: *I want to smack the lady who would not let you 'on her property' to donate sh*t!! what the ****!! and I'm glad the younger woman came to pick it up, but hey, weren't the items supposed to be sold for the benefit, not 'up for grabs'?? I hope this paragraph wasn't too hard to read but I 'm so sorry so many troubling things are piling on your now. Sometimes, just the next day might be a little better, so hang in there dear!!

Monte Cristo - Oh, that feeling of responsibility towards your family must feel so heavy! :(

lilturtle -I think if your mom found that place you could afford, it means she wants you nearby :)

Sabrina - - that is so sad, sweetie :( :hug: I hope the retreat this weekend is helping you through this first Mother's Day. We are thinking of you!

Kathleen - You deserve that pool and I hope you have warm weather to enjoy it! and burn those calories, baby! :D

Amy - - Oh no!!! :( that is crummy news ..really sorry to hear that! We are here for you :hug: I'm glad you had a good day with your friend. Oh and thanks for the CUTE pic of Snickers, he is a beauty :)

and hello to Ohio, Chelsea, projectjudi, 1life2live, and Hope

I missed 2 days of working out since going back to work, it will be difficult to fit it in, the only way I can will be to get up at 5 a.m. and do it then, before DH and DS wake up and are in the living room (that is where I do my thing). I can never do my exercise in the afternoon, when getting home from work.

I am down 7 pounds :carrot: at 155. I have a range of jeans, crazy how the sizes differ! all different brands, but - the 8's are baggy in the butt, the 10's fit okay, I have an 11/12 that are OK, another 10 that is good in waist but tight in thighs...sheesh.

We rode about 80 miles yesterday because it was GORGEOUS! blue sky, mid 70's, few clouds, just so nice. I think we're more appreciateive of nice days because we hardly have any :rofl:

A question - I should know, if I should talk about 'what I did at work' because it would maybe be triggering cravings, as my job is to bake desserts? I won't if it bothers even just one of you all.

Hi...
 

Hi there!

Thank you all so much for the support.

Hi Fi! Thank you for your kind private messages. That was very kind and thoughtful of you!

Holly- thank you so much for your kind and encouraging words. I don't want to have surgery but I think my surgeon is excellent. I am looking forward to having my left ankle as strong as my right ankle. Thank you about your sweet comment on Snickers!!! He is my best furry friend. :)

Have a good day everyone!

I'm going for a walk...


Take care!

Amy

Back home again!
 

We just came home from the lake. It is always kind of depressing to come home because it means work and school for my hubby and kids the next day ~ and housework for me. YUCK!!! The kids will be out of school soon enough, though (June 5th)! My youngest (my daughter) is graduating from 8th grade that evening, which seems unreal. Time really does just fly by! My son will be a senior in high school next year. I can't even fathom the thought of him leaving for college yet! :( Anyway, we walked at the lake with the dogs on Saturday, but didn't get any exercise in today. Oh well, I guess I took the day off for Mother's Day! :) Happy Mother's Day to all of you moms out there, BTW, including you pet moms!!! :D As usual, eating was a challenge at the lake, but I did better Saturday and Sunday than Friday. I need to really buckle down and get serious again this week!

Amy: How on earth did I miss that adorable photo of you and Snickers on the previous page?!? I had to scroll back after reading Holly's comment. Snickers is such a cutie! :love: I hope you will go to the family function you were invited to next weekend, since you said you'd like to go! Sorry you don't have support about the surgery. Yes, you have to do what's best for you. And I am glad to hear that you have an excellent surgeon. Hang in there!

Fi: So sorry about all of the interruptions and distractions you have encountered with the BERP! The noise at your neighbor's house really sounds annoying. When will their work be finished? Glad that you will maybe get some help on the BERP from your great niece. It sounds like you are at least getting a lot of work done so far. It'll be worth all of this hassle and hard work when you have those adorable kitties there with you. (hearts) They will give you so much love and affection. :love: It sounds like things with Robine/Ignace are definitely on the mend. I am happy for you about that. Interesting that she is now comfortable with the name that her parents gave her.

Holly: I am fine with you talking about your work day, including the scrumptious desserts you make, just for the record. Thank you for sharing that beautiful photo of your mother. I am so sorry she is not with you physically on this Mother's Day. :( I am blessed to still have both my mom and dad alive, but dad turned 85 and mom 80 this past April. So I am savoring the moments we are together, knowing that time is running out for them. I did not get to see my mom today since we were at the lake (and she wasn't; they have a place there, too), but we are going to celebrate Mother's Day together next Sunday at the lake. Something to look forward to! :) YIKES at getting up at 5am to work out! CONGRATULATIONS on being DOWN 7 pounds!!! :carrot: That is awesome! So happy to hear that you finally had gorgeous weather and got out on your bike!!! :bike:

Trish: How is Florida? I hope you are having a wonderful time! :)

HELLO to everyone else! :wave: Hope all is well. Would love to hear from you when you get a chance to write!

I want to thank everyone for their support. IBelieve, Amy, Fiona, and Holly, I appreciate all your kind words. It does make me feel less alone.

I'm feeling so down right now, its hard for me to put words together to write much. The last couple of days, I've done longer workouts on the elliptical. If I focus on actions--exercise and sticking to my eating program--maybe I can survive this current slump without stalling on the way to my goals. I just don't feel *good*, if you know what I mean.

Holly, go ahead and write about work, if you want to. It won't bother me. Glad you managed to get out for a ride yesterday. God willing, one day I will be able to wear a size 8 or 10! Congratulations on the 7 lbs lost. Great job.

Hope everyone has a wonderful day.

I had a miserable day yesterday. Severe depression pain. I think the stress of the BERP is taking its toll. Only tentatively functional this morning.

Holly— I'm certainly OK with your writing about work. Please do... I look forward to hearing about a job you actually like and where your boss is not an ***hole!

Hi there...

Believe,

Thank you for that sweet comment about Snickers! He is a bit tired, I was worried but the veterinary receptionist was nice and reassuring. I don't think that I will go to the family function, I would like to but I was just seeing them, I have to get ready for the move. Thanks though.

Worth the effort,

I'm glad that I was able to be reassuring and comforting. Hugs.


Fi,

How are you doing? Take care!

Have a good day, everyone, I am going to swim laps at the pool.

It's a bit warm here!

Amy

My diet is going ok. I'm ready for my vacation to be over. i would trade all the stuff my mom has bought me for feeling like she actually wants me here. Friday can't get here soon enough. One day she talks about me moving down here then the next day she says it isn't a good idea. I'm just tired of all the emotions and not sleeping and smart comments. I took some malware off her computer and now she is complaining she has to enter her passwords. I don't even want to go to the pool anymore. It's not that much fun going by myself with no one to talk to while I am in the pool. I just really want to go home. I am never coming back down here again.

Oh no!
 

Trish: So sorry that you get the feeling that your mom doesn't want you there. :cry: That is so sad and depressing. No wonder you want the vacation to be over. From the sounds of things, it is a good thing you WON'T be moving closer to her. It sounds like she is messing with your mind. I would know, because my mom does the same stuff at times. :( I really and truly don't understand it. I am just sorry that you have to go through this. I am sending you big hugs and lots of love! :hug: :hug: :hug: This was NOT a wasted trip, however, because you found out some valuable information: Your mom is toxic to your emotions and well-being. I would keep my distance as much as possible! You deserve to be treated MUCH BETTER!!! :hug:

worththeeffort2: Thanks so much for checking in depsite feeling so down. I am sorry that the depression remains. You are doing so well with your workouts. Does that help at all??? I am sending you big hugs too!!! :hug: :hug: :hug:

Fi: Sorry to hear that you had such a miserable day yesterday! :( Your depression pain sounds awful! I hope it subsides soon. Hang in there! :hug:

Amy: Hello and thanks for checking in. Hope you are getting closer to ready for your big move! :)

Sorry about my morose posting earlier. I just got back from the post office, where I sent Ignace's 60th birthday prez on its way to Belgium. If she had not cancelled her plans to come visit me, she and I would be together at the beach right now. =sad face= But then she would've missed out on getting to meet the kittens, so maybe it's just as well.

I'm declaring today a melancholy day, which is a distinct improvement over yesterday's very depressed day. And I'm taking another day off from the BERP, since yesterday didn't really count as a day off. We have rain clouds here in Maryland, which is kind of nice, actually, because it suits my mood. And yet rain in this area is so wimpy, it always makes me homesick for the serious tropical-monsoon-like rains of Houston.

Trish— I'm sorry to hear that things with your mother are turning so sour! I don't get along with my mother either, and she used to do the same thing as it sounds like yours does—buy me stuff instead of loving me. I hope you'll get your balance back when you return from Florida.

Amy— I forgot to say this: Snickers is really cute, and the two of you together are even cuter! I'm so glad you have a pal like that. I'm looking forward to having a couple of furry pals of my own, when late July comes 'round.

Kathleen— Thanks for the vote of support re. the BERP. They spread straw over the raw muddy mess the workers made of the lawn overlapping ours and our neighbor's, and the trucks & tractors have stopped showing up, so I think the landscaping work is over, thank God. Now it's quiet enough that the loudest thing I hear is the sound of birds chirping—yay! That's too bad you have to return to housework. Oh well...you and me both!

worththeeffort2— Are you sure I can't talk you into giving us a name to call you? How 'bout your middle name, or a name you happen to like?

Hi there,

Lil turtle,

I am sorry that you are so upset. I personally love the pool but that's because I am an avid swimmer. It helps me to get lost so to speak in concentrating on my breathing and swimming. Personally I find it very therapeutic. Hugs. :hug:

Believe,

Thank you, yes I am getting ready for the move but I still have a bit to go. I have just under a month to go!


Fi,

Thank you, I love little Snickers! I got his new carrier in the mail today. It's very cute and I love it, I think it's adorable! We may go for a walk tonight if it cools off, it's muggy here. How are you? What type of pet are you going to get?

Take care,

Amy

Hello friends!

Trish - Oh that is so sad :( I'm so sorry the visit has turned sour. I don't understand how a mom could play games with her daughter like that :?: but the end result is your are miserable and that sux! :hug: to you.

Fi - I meant to comment about Ignace before; and then I meant to commiserate about the infuriating *beep*beep*beep* of the landscapers ...but now I need to say how awful about your day of depression pain..I'm glad it has downscaled a bit to 'melancholy' ...now I hope it downscales more to 'good' :)

worththeeffort2 - I am so very sorry that you are still very down :( it is awful isn't it. I think the longer workouts are a marvelous idea, even if you don't feel it now, it is doing good for you. Focusing on actions is good...gives you a tiny sense of control I think. Please know we are pulling for you and wish we could do more :hug:

Amy - did you take Snickers for a walk? do you have a leash or harness for the little guy? I hope it cooled off , for both of you :)

Kathleen - How did you do with your eating today? (just being a good nagging friend :D) Does your son know which college he wants to attend after senior graduation?

Hello to everyone else! :)

so...I would love to be able to just type here, what I make at work each day. Because no one else asks, everyone always wants to talk about their job, not ask 'so what did you do today'. So I would love to be able to tell you all :D

Hi Holly,

How are you? I was going to take him for a walk but it was very hot here today for spring, about 85 degrees and it hadn't cooled down to 75 yet, guinea pigs are very sensitive to the heat and 65-75 degrees is an optimal temperature for most guinea pigs, I think that maybe tomorrow will be better.

I hope all is well with you, take care.

Amy