[IBelieveInMe2]

Well, today I had a terrible migraine, so only bad food sounded good. And that's what I ate. I can't really afford to eat badly. It seems like one bad meal really sets me back, let alone many. I am waiting to weigh myself until I've had several good days in a row. It never seems to happen, but I need to MAKE it happen! I seriously have not lost a pound or more in months. The scale just keeps creeping upward and it scares the heck out of me. I so don't want to get type 2 diabetes or have a stroke or heart problems. I want to do something about my weight before I have health problems related to my weight. Thankfully, I have been okay so far. I don't take that for granted for a second!

CDubsGotGoats: You are so kind with your praise! Thank you for the compliments. I do think we have a great group going here so far. It will only get better, I think. I love the way everyone has joined in! It helps me to know that you guys are here for me. I hope it helps all of you, too. We can be an excellent source of support and encouragement for each other!

seabiscuit: I can relate to not wanting to restrict yourself too much food-wise. I tend to rebel when I attempt to do that.

lilturtle: We can certainly talk about some strategies for Thanksgiving. I'm glad you asked. One biggie is to have a plan for the day. Going to a buffet will be a huge challenge, I would think. Do you know your options at the buffet? Try to reach for more good stuff than bad, I would say. Don't expect perfection from yourself. Just attempt to minimize the damage. That is my plan for the day. Ask yourself if the unhealthy foods are worth the bad feelings you might have after eating them. Is it worth the temporary pleasure, knowing that in the long run, you will most likely regret choosing unhealthy foods? Choose your food wisely. Think of how proud you will be of yourself if you pick the healthier options. And imagine how it will feel to tell all of us how well you did on Thanksgiving day! If you do indulge, make sure you make a CONSCIOUS CHOICE to do so. It makes a difference.

[Fiona W]

Howdy y'all! I just discovered this thread, and I'd definitely like to join. Ups & Downs is a great idea for the name! It sure does describe my life.

I'm 58, married with no kids (by choice), and Bipolar I since 1988. I struggled with my weight before I became Bipolar, in a 130-180 sort of range. Then I had my first big episode and started having to take psych meds. My weight shot up over 200, and I gained & then gained some more. I've probably been on every appetite-enhancing depression/mania drug known to man: Lithium, Effexor, Seroquel, Zyprexa, Lyrica, & many more.

In the years 2007-2009 I did Jenny Craig, and went from 332 to 225. Then my poor sweet husband got treatment-resistant depression, was hospitalized, suicidal, the whole nine yards, and things got so bad he eventually lost his job. So now both of us are on disability. Lightning can strike twice in the same household! I was so stressed out by all that was going on with him, I gained all the way back up to 351. Then I started having knee trouble: that was my wake-up call. That was a little under two years ago. I've been dieting on my own (Atkins) ever since, with lots of episodes of emotional eating (my huband is still depressed) slowing down my weight loss. I just found 3FC in October.

A recent big accomplishment is that I withdrew from Effexor. Boy was THAT a b*tch! I was on a high dose for over 20 years. But it's over, as of about 3 weeks ago. My mood is pretty draggy, even though I'm still on a bunch of other meds. I think I'm probably in rebound from the Effexor.

My body does well on very low carbs, and I like not having to count anything. Maybe I'm weird, but I find it easier to give up all my old trigger foods (cookies, candy, & donuts were the big ones) than to only have a little of them. But I had two episodes of emotional eating in the last month, so I'm still working on my issues. My monthly weigh-in day (any more often than that drives me crazy) was yesterday, and I was really disgusted to have only lost 1.6 pounds. See my sig for my new mini-goal.

I look forward to getting to know you gals! =smile=

[IBelieveInMe2]

to the group Ups & Downs, Fiona! I am thrilled that you found us! You will be a great addition to the group and I think we will be good for you, too! OMGosh, Zyprexa................I hate that drug!!! It gave me a totally insatiable appetite and I skyrocketed up 60 pounds in a year's time. I am still trying to get that dreadful weight off!!! I was in a case study for it at the time, so I felt like I needed to complete the year on it, and I soooooo wish I had withdrawn from the study before gaining all that weight. But that is in the way past now. I can lose this weight. I just need to buckle myself down and get very serious about this weight loss thing again. I, too, lost weight on Jenny Craig (about 35 pounds) a few years back, but gained it all and more back when I ate "regular" food again. So I will not go on another diet just to have that happen again. I tried Atkins, but found it so difficult to resist the carbs. I think it does work if you can maintain the low carb lifestyle, but I personally like carbs too darn much. I am TRYING to go with portion control, healthy choices, and consistent exercise, but ~ so far ~ I can't put it all together. Every day is a new chance to get things right (or better), though, so I am NOT giving up.....EVER!!! I have been working on my self-esteem a lot, because I think it is a crucial piece of the weight loss puzzle. All of us need to work on liking and loving (yes, LOVING) ourselves as we are NOW....... in order to care enough about ourselves to do what is necessary to lose the weight.

Back to the meds. I am currently on 300mg of Effexor. If you think it is affecting my appetite, I might try (with my psychiatrist's guidance) to lower that dose. I am on Abilify, which is a definite weight enhancer, but have gone as low as possible on it already ~ for now (15mg). I would LOVE to get off Abilify, but he won't hear of that....... all because I had ONE manic episode YEARS ago when my life was a mess due to several factors piling up on me at once. I am in such a better place in my life now, but that is difficult to convey to my psychiatrist. I have even thought about switching to another anti-psych med (again, with his guidance) that might be more weight neutral. I think I will discuss this with him soon. I just KNOW the meds are holding back any real weight loss, but I keep blaming myself because I can't quit eating the bad stuff and I resist getting started on exercise. That definitely isn't helping, but even if I have a week where I am "good" all week long, I don't lose ANY weight. Or if I lose a pound, which has been so long ago, I gain it right back. It is so frustrating, but I swear I will NOT give up on myself. I want to get this under control before I have health problems due to the excess weight. And I am just plain sick and tired of being fat!!! I still shock myself when I look in the mirror or see myself in pictures, because I truly do not usually "feel" that big. I feel pretty darn good despite the weight. Then, I catch a glimpse of myself and feel so frustrated and sad and overwhelmed. The only way I can approach it is ONE DAY AT A TIME; and even one meal at a time. One workout at a time. Otherwise, I am completely overwhelmed and feel like not even trying.

That is a HUGE accomplishment that you were able to get off of the Effexor!!! Are you happy that you discontinued it? Are you still on an anti-depressant at all? Just curious. I am so, so very sorry about your husband's treatment-resistant depression. You must worry sick about him! As if you don't have enough on your plate already.....worrying about yourself. Be there for YOURSELF the way you are there for him. Care about yourself the way you care about him. Do you know what I am saying? So often, we treat others so much better than we treat ourselves. I am totally guilty of that! And I am working to treat myself with the same loving guidance and support and encouragement as I would my children. My kids are now 17 and 14. I also have a little angel watching over me..... my 17-year-old son's twin, who only lived 14 hours. His death began a cycle of very deep depression for me, and then 3 years later, my daughter was born with Spina Bifida (I actually had surgery done on her to close her back lesion in utero), and things got even worse. Both events took their toll on our marriage, which further depressed me. At the time I found out I was pregnant with my (handicapped) daughter, I began counseling and a healing journey that continues to this day. The med weight gain made everything worse, but I know I need the med (and counseling) to function in my daily life. And I still struggle every day to stay positive and get things accomplished. I had a ton of dysfunction (among other things) in my family of origin, yet we looked like "the perfect family." That ~ more than any of the other events ~ plagues me daily to this day. I have read so many self-help and self-esteem books it would boggle your mind. I am so determined to get past all of this ~ or at least to function well in spite of it. But it is truly a DAILY battle for me. Miraculously, my marriage is still intact and actually better for all we've been through together. And I can honestly say that if it weren't for my deep faith, I would not be here today. Period. I would have chosen to end things a long time ago. But I didn't give myself this life, so I could never justify taking it. THANK GOD!!! Because I am so happy to be alive and be a SURVIVOR of all of the things I've mentioned(and some that I haven't)!!! All of the glory goes to God, but I will bask in the glory, that's for sure!

OMGosh, I am writing a novel!!! I guess you stirred up some things in me, Fiona! I will end this story here................. for now! Anyone else feel free to ramble...................! I am listening/reading! And I do care!!! BIG HUGS to all of you for listening! Please share more of your stories as we proceed on in this journey ~ TOGETHER!

[Fiona W]

Thanks ever so much, IBelieveInMe2, for the warm & enthusiastic welcome to the group! Good for you that you can write about your feelings: don't ever apologize for writing too much, because from all I've read about successful weight loss, it helps very much to write about the process. I write both online and in a paper-&-ink journal. I find it especially useful for examining what happened after I indulge in emotional eating—how I might do better the next time, so I don't have to eat my feelings.

And you are so right about self-acceptance and self-love! If I did not look in the mirror every day and say to myself, "Hey! You look good in that outfit," there is no way I would have lost 50 pounds so far. As you know, positive energy is the only way to motivate this journey. You have to love yourself just as you are, right now, and then choose to give yourself the gift of weight loss and longterm lifestyle change. =smile=

As for the Effexor, yes, I'm glad I'm off it. It really wasn't doing me any good anymore. Now I'm on a newer-generation antidepressant, Cymbalta, which is supposed to be better for the kind of bipolar depression I get. So far, I like it, and it's even a bit appetite-depressing, which sure is a nice change. I have an anti-psychotic, too, Geodon, as a prn, which does make make me crave sweets, so I try not to take it any more than necessary. Maybe you could talk to your shrink about prescribing the Abilify on a prn (as needed) basis.

I would like to suggest something to you, if you don't mind. You should set yourself a mini-goal of maybe ten or fifteen pounds. Longterm weight loss and maintenance is so much more possible if you don't try to envision the whole thing at once. Mini-goals and rewarding yourself for achieving them are a real key to success. You could set up a ticker for your mini-goal, and then watch yourself progress across it as you lose the weight.

By the way, I, too, come from a dysfunctional family which looked perfect on the outside. We can compare notes about that stuff as we get to know each other better...

Speaking of getting to know each other, where is everyone else? I'm hoping this will be the kind of group where people check in every day, if possible. Consistent social support is so important for this longterm journey we are all embarked on...

Courage! Positivity! Carry on!

[IBelieveInMe2]

Hey, ladies, how are you all doing? I thought we were going to touch base daily or as much as possible, but I haven't heard from you in a few days. If we are going to be here for each other during our Ups & Downs, we need to keep in touch each day...... no matter what! I don't mean to put pressure on you, but it only works if we all contribute, ya know what I mean?!?

I had a miserable day health-wise today. I have a cold, fighting a migraine, it's that TOM, and I also have a bladder infection. Sorry if TMI, but I am not at my best, that's for sure! So I had to eat what sounded good and it wasn't salads and the "good" stuff. Tomorrow is a brand new day. I got an antibiotic from the doc today for the UTI, so hopefully I'll be feeling better soon in that department. My colds tend to linger, but I will do my best to exercise and eat as well as possible in the meantime. I did get in 30 minutes on the treadmill last night, which felt good.

Fiona, thank you for the insights you are sharing. I am committed to touching base daily, so please stick around! You are a valuable contribution to the group. Starting December 1st, we will be posting under a new thread, titled "Ups & Downs: December 2013." So please be sure to find us there! I usually check in late at night, after my kids are in bed. I will also check in during the day whenever possible. I like your suggestion of a mini goal. My problem is that my weight just continues to creep up. I honestly can't remember the last time I lost a pound. So right now, my mini goal is 5 pounds, so I know it is a true weight loss. Then, I will focus on either 5 or 10 pounds at a time. 5 sounds more doable, so probably 5 to start. I hate it that I have to count down to 200. It seems like forever ago since I was in the 100's. When I lost weight a few years back on Jenny Craig, and then began gaining it back when I went off JC, I was determined to never get above 200 again......... but here I am. I feel so incredibly weight loss resistant right now that it depresses, overwhelms, and frightens me. I don't want to continue gaining!!! But I will not give up on myself!!! I just can't!!! I will turn 47 on December 4th, and it gets even harder to lose the weight as I get older. But I have to believe that it's possible or else I would lose all hope and quit. THAT is NOT an option!!!

Hoping to hear from you again, Fiona, and from the rest of you SOON!!! Don't worry if you don't have anything exciting to report. And don't wait until you have only positives to report. Just write!!! It helps!!! I want us to be here for each other during both our Ups and our Downs!!!

Tomorrow is a brand new day!!! I can't wait!!!

[CDubsGotGoats]

Thank you IBelieve and welcome Fiona! Sorry I have been out for a couple of days, family has been visiting from out of town and we had fences to put up this weekend (as an up, we have all the posts set!) IBelieve, do you use cornsilk compound when you start to have a UTI? It really helps me and I would recommend giving it a try. And, GREAT job on your treadmill time!

I really like the mini goals, and feel that they keep the success near the surface during a long process that can be very daunting. My mini goal right now is to get out of the 190s, which I was really close to (but I think I may have gone the other way after this weekend).

While I had a very Up weekend over all, it was not a good food weekend for me. Mostly I have eaten pumpkin pie and unfortunately my partners father brought home doughnuts. I did get some exercise, but not nearly as much as I really should have considering the amount of pie I ate. If its ok, I will go on a shpiel here as well...

I am an emotional eater, but unfortunately I eat when I am happy and when I am feeling bad. Before I was medicated I suffered from really terrible anxiety which caused continuos nausea and upset stomach so that it was really difficult for me to eat anything without getting very sick. When I could eat then (on days when I felt really good), I would eat high calorie foods and sweet things a lot so that I wouldn't lose any more weight. When I started taking Celexa, it took away that anxiety but I didn't adjust my diet to compensate for that and the celexa also caused gain in its own right. Preceding that was a childhood where food was often uncertain as well. It felt so good to be able to eat a full meal and keep it down. It still feels good.

My big struggle right now is with the mindset of NEEDING food, and it is rewarding on many levels for me to eat. I LOVE food. All kinds of food. When I feel bad, I eat for comfort, and when I feel good I eat from habit and the subconscious fear of not being able to eat. At the first hunger pain, or anything even close to it, I feel a mental stress to find something to eat immediately. Often it is to the point of pre-occupation, it becomes distracting. So I find myself eating a little bit all the time. I guess that wouldn't be a terrible thing if I didn't have binge periods, or if what I was eating was good for me...

My real goal is to change my mindset in order to improve the foods I am consuming, to appreciate those foods more, and to eliminate the primal fear of starvation. I need to give myself consistency, love, encouragement, discipline, and consistency consistency consistency that I show and give to others. My best example right now is the process of trying to help my dog through separation anxiety. I know that I am coming back, but it is a huge process to convince him of that. The same thing with my food issues. I know on one level that I have food, that I will be able to eat any time without being sick, but there is just still the underlying anxiety that I experience if I am not eating.

Anyway, Hugs to you both and thanks for listening, or reading I hope to see more smiles from you IBelieve, and always look forward to checking in here.

-Chelsea

[Fiona W]

Nice to see you again, CdubsGotGoats, and thanks so much for telling us some stuff about your eating issues. I'm a big emotional eater, too, as you might guess from the mini-goal in my sig. My big weakness is sweets, especially cookies, candy & donuts. I don't feel tempted to indulge when I'm happy, though, only when I'm angry, frustrated, or blue. I had gotten to a point a few months ago where it was so bad, cookies had become a drug for me. I would think about them dreamily like a drug, crave them like a drug, seek them out like a drug, and savor the buzz I got from them as if they were a drug. I wasn't embarrassed about eating them in front of anyone else, but I developed a bigtime habit of eating them alone in my car, because I didn't want anything or anyone to distract me from my "drug experience." Like you, Cdubs, I also appreciate the feeling I would get from being full. There is no way I was ever inclined to binge & purge.

I'm writing about this as though it were in the past tense, because I've been doing a great deal of thinking and reading about how to deal with this "drug problem" of mine. There are quite a few books on the market about emotional eating, compulsive eating, binge eating, whatever you want to call it. I haven't sampled them all, by any means, but here are two so far that I've found helpful:
—The Emotional Diet: How to Love Your Life More and Food Less by Bill Cashell
—If I'm So Smart Why Can't I Lose Weight? Tools to Get It Done by Brooke Castillo

I read Cashell's book first, and I found it really helpful as a kitbag of tools for dealing with cravings. The title is a bit of a misnomer, because it doesn't have anything to do with dieting per se. Instead, he provides a whole range of techniques for helping you stay on plan, once you've chosen your diet and the lifestyle changes you want to make. Many of them will be familiar to y'all, like visualization and affirmations, but others were new to me. It's a very positive approach, definitely oriented toward self-acceptance and self-love.

I'm still reading Brooke Castillo's book, going slowly and trying to absorb everything. I'll give you an example, by summarizing her division of eating behavior into four separate categories: Fuel Eating, Joy Eating, Fog Eating and Storm Eating.

Fuel Eating is eating with awareness of nutrition and what makes your body energetic and well-functioning. Fuel foods are nutrient-dense: they include fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, healthy fats, & complex carbohydrates. Castillo suggests that you practice awareness of your hunger, on a scale from -10 for ravenously hungry, up to 0 for when you feel neither hungry nor full, then up to +10 for when you're absolutely stuffed. She suggests that you start doing your fuel eating when you are -2 level of hungry, and that you stop when you are +2 level of full. She says that fuel eating should be 90% of the eating you do.

Joy Eating is just that: pure and simple joy. Joy foods are not necessarily helpful to your body, and often they aren't, but they are foods that taste good in your mouth. They can be any kind of junk food. The important thing is that you eat them slowly, with full attention and pleasure. Castillo thinks that most diets fail because they don't allow for the real world, in which people like the taste of certain foods, and want those foods for the joy they bring. She says that joy eating should be 10% of your eating.

Fog Eating is unconscious eating. It's popcorn at the movies, chips in front of TV, food eaten out of the pot while you're cooking. You know you've been fog eating when you look at the empty can of nuts and you don't remember having eaten them. Fog eating is a bummer because you're distracted when you're eating, and you get no pleasure out of it. Castillo says you should NEVER engage in fog eating. She says you should pull yourself out of the fog as soon as you can, and reconnect to yourself: "This is your life; you don't want to miss it."

Storm Eating is like binge eating, but she calls it a storm because all storms come to an end. Storm eating is eating when you aren't hungry, knowing you are doing it, and feeling unable to stop even though you want to stop. Storm eating, she says, is usually caused by depriving yourself of too many forbidden foods. If you're fueling your body regularly and allowing yourself some joy eating, usually the storm eating disappears. Storm eating may also be brought on by intense emotions that feel out of control. The important thing, if you find yourself storm eating, is not to judge yourself. You need to be kind to yourself, and try to figure out what is really going on. The damage that occurs from a storm is not the amount of calories you eat: it's from disconnecting from your body and then beating yourself up over it. Think of it instead as a learning opportunity. After a storm eat, you may not be hungry for quite some time: wait until your body is -2 level of hungry again, give your body the fuel it requires, and stop at +2 level of full. Then see if you can't schedule some joy eating as part of your regular plan.

Thoughts? Comments? Experiences y'all have had with any of these types of eating?

[lilturtle]

Hi everyone and welcome to those who have recently joined!

I have really been restricting myself food wise. I eat one meal a day and then maybe a snack, sometimes not even a snack. I get weighed tomorrow so I will see if that has done more harm then good. I am hoovering on crissi mode. I am in the gap for prescription coverage and might not be able to get my meds until January. I am almost out of my geodon which is my important one. I am bipolar 1 so this is not good. I have been trying not to think about it but it is weighing heavy on my mind. The holidays are already tough but to go through them without meds.....I don't want to think about it. I am worried I may end up in the hospital. That is a very real possability without my meds. One day at a time I guess, right?

As far as Thanksgiving, I looked up how many calories I need in a day to gain, maintain and lose. Mine are pretty high since I am so big. I am aiming to not go higher then my maintain calories. It shouldn't be too hard with just a tad of self control. I think my stomach has shrunk a bit so it might be easier not to binge.

[shr1nk1ngme]

Originally Posted by IBelieveInMe2

Hi! I am a 46-yr-old stay-at-home mom who is at my new all-time high weight. I need to lose about 75 pounds to be at a healthy BMI. (Sad to even acknowledge that.)

I am 5'2" and at an all-time high of 185 I am in almost the same exact situation you are in. I am also a 46 year old stay at home mom.

Originally Posted by IBelieveInMe2

I am determined to do this, but I avoid getting started with exercise and feel like I am always hungry or thinking about food.

Procrastinating exercise is a HUGE issue with me. Also, like you, I am always hungry.

Originally Posted by IBelieveInMe2

I am definitely an emotional eater and a food addict to some extent. I am on meds for depression and anxiety, and I know my meds play a role in my weight issues.

I am a boredom eater; that is to say, when I feel overwhelmed by the mundane-ness of my life, I tend to eat. It's so easy because I'm home, unobserved, with a refrigerator ALL DAY LONG. Ugh. I am also on anxiety meds.

Originally Posted by IBelieveInMe2

I want to focus on making healthy LIFESTYLE CHANGES ~ such as portion control, healthy food choices, and consistent exercise ~ which I can maintain for the rest of my life.

My biggest problem is portion control. Most of the time I eat healthy foods, and I am a vegetarian. But even if it's healthful food, if I eat too much of it, I'll get fatter.

Originally Posted by IBelieveInMe2

I am looking for support buddies to cheer each other on to our goals. It helps me to know that I'm not alone in my efforts.

It seems we have a lot in common. I'll be one of your buddies.

[shr1nk1ngme]

Originally Posted by Fiona W

Fog Eating is unconscious eating. It's popcorn at the movies, chips in front of TV, food eaten out of the pot while you're cooking. You know you've been fog eating when you look at the empty can of nuts and you don't remember having eaten them. Fog eating is a bummer because you're distracted when you're eating, and you get no pleasure out of it. Castillo says you should NEVER engage in fog eating. She says you should pull yourself out of the fog as soon as you can, and reconnect to yourself: "This is your life; you don't want to miss it."

^^ THIS ^^ is me. I eat while I do other things. Not because I'm hungry but because I crave something to nibble on while I work at the computer or do paperwork, schoolwork, etc. I definitely enjoy food when I am eating it, but since I am often doing busywork at my desk, it can turn into a BIG problem. I am trying to retrain myself to do other things (besides eat) while I work.

[CDubsGotGoats]

Welcome ShrinkingMe!!

Thank you Fiona! Congratulations on day 3!!! I will check out those books, and the "categories" of eating make so much sense, and fit with what I want to accomplish. Cutting out "fog eating" and "storm eating" is exactly what I am after! My main goal atm is to get myself to improve daily diet to fuel eating, and give myself a break on the weekends with something delicious from my own kitchen. I completely understand the addictive behaviour. I can go through a whole pie or a whole batch of cookies in one sitting. And I love it. Or, it is highly rewarding since I don't love that I did it later. But I definitely don't question doing it again. I think the point when I really realized that I needed to do something about my problem was when I started getting possessive of food. It would be irritating if someone wanted a bite of something I was eating and I would get mad about it! While that is not really a problem any more, it was only the first step.

The current step I am working on is cutting simple carbs. I suck at it!!! But, when I do have periods of success, the difference in how I feel physically and emotionally, is tangible. And it feeds itself as the more I stick with it, the more my body slows down the cravings for sugars and highly processed foods and starts telling me to eat more good, whole, food. Of course, the mind doesn't always cooperate, and I find that when I break down once and eat too much of something on my 'no' list, I keep wanting to eat too much of those things. If I stick to my limits though, it doesn't seem to spiral out of control as badly. Having someone to be accountable to has been very important for me to be able to stick with my goals in that respect.

Lil Turtle: Do you have a county health clinic that you can go to? The doctors there may be able to prescribe you a generic equivalent that could be cheaper and get you through the next month until your coverage kicks back in. As a worst case scenario, if you go to urgent care or the emergency room you should be able to get your medication through the hospital pharmacy, possibly on a payment plan. Unfortunately I don't know about the health care system in PA, I wish I could give you some more helpful information Checking in daily with someone (here, someone who is close to you that understands bipolar, your doctor) is really important when you are in a high risk situation like this. If you don't keep a mood chart it may be helpful for you through this, to keep track of where you are in reality in comparison with how you feel at the particular moment, since it is so easy to get lost in the mental spiral. Meditation practice is also very helpful in quieting a manic/anxious mind (it is really hard at first, but something to think about maybe). A daily journal is good as well, for the same reason as the mood chart, so that you have a comparison of 'regular' days compared to possible extreme swings that can happen when med levels get messed up. I will keep you in my thoughts through this and hope that you are able to find a way to get your medication.

[IBelieveInMe2]

shr1nk1ngme: I am so happy that you found our group, Ups & Downs! We do have a lot in common and I welcome you as a buddy in this journey! Thank you for sharing a little bit about yourself and your eating habits. I can certainly relate to much of what you shared. I often eat out of boredom, too, and I have a strong urge to eat when I am procrastinating on getting something done, like working out. (Double negative/stessor: I don't work out and I eat extra stuff!) I have become better at catching myself when I am doing this, and then the next step is to STOP and do something other than eat (preferably work out)! I have actually been surprised at how often I catch myself eating out of procrastination on another task. It is a difficult habit to break!

Fiona: The information you shared about those two books is so helpful. I actually have both books and started reading the Bill Cashell book, but abandoned it for some reason (probably because I have so many weight loss books and I moved on to another one). I purchased the Brooke Castillo book, but have yet to read it. I am putting both next in line for my reading. I have so many self-help books, and so many sound so interesting, that it is difficult for me to know what to read first/next and to read the entire book. I am working on completing books before moving on to the next one, but I feel that I have so much to learn from each one that it is difficult to focus on just ONE at a time. My favorite books at the moment are on weight loss and self-esteem/healing for damaged emotions. I need all the help I can get in both areas! Anyway ~ I, too, indulge in much fog eating and storm eating. I like the idea of incorporating joy eating as 10% of my eating. And I know in my head that fuel eating is the goal, but I love the taste of food so much that it is very difficult for me to approach it only as fuel. I really appreciate you taking the time to write a summary of the books. I printed out what you wrote for my reference. The types of eating provide a great framework in my mind for what I will strive to accomplish with my eating. I have to be careful to NOT get into the "all or nothing" mind trap with this..... and about everything I do! It is about PROGRESS and not perfection! I wish I could drill that into my thick skull!

Chelsea (CDubsGotGoats): Way to go on your work to cut out simple carbs! Even if you don't feel very successful at it, you said you have had periods of success in which you feel much better when you stay on plan. Try to use that as your reward and incentive to continue. I personally crave carbs all the time and often succumb to my cravings. I wish I could stay on a low carb diet, but I have tried it and failed many times. If you can stick with it, it is a great way to lose weight IF you can maintain that way of eating for life. I know myself too well to know that I can't. I am not trying to talk you out of low carb. Just giving you some "food for thought." Thank you for all of the helpful suggestions you gave to lilturtle about her meds. You are so thoughtful and helpful! That is exactly why I created this group..... for that kind of support!

lilturtle: Last but not least! I think CDubsGotGoats gave you some great suggestions for getting your medication needs met until your insurance kicks back in. I don't really have much else to add, except that it is so crucial with bipolar that you continue with your meds (as you very well know). Please talk with your doctor and your local health clinic about this ASAP. There has just got to be a way for you to get the meds you need until your insurance kicks back in! If I think of any suggestions, I will let you know. Please check in here often in the meantime and we will do all we can to help you. Journaling, as Chelsea suggested, is going to be a huge help to you in this entire process, especially if you have a lapse in your medication. I will keep you in my prayers and pray especially that you are guided to the right places to solve this lapse in medication issue. I believe there is much power in prayer, because I have lived it. I wouldn't be here today if it weren't for prayer and my faith. [Not trying to "push" religion or spirituality on anyone. Just saying what has saved me.] Please hang in there and keep us posted on things!

Well, I have been in bed once tonight. Went to bed really early (for me) because this cold has me dragging and coughing a lot. I woke back up in the middle of the night and just had to touch base with all of you. I was so happy to see all of the new posts. If you are just reading along, please feel free to jump right in and just write! You don't have to respond to everything everyone writes. Just write what is on your mind and your struggles and successes. We all have so much to learn from each other! I had a fairly good day food wise. No exercise, though, and I need it for both mind and body. I have a busy day tomorrow, but will aim to get exercise in at some point. I can do it!!! Hugs to all of you!

[Fiona W]

From the Department of For-What-It's-Worth:
I put a link to my collage & other art at the bottom of my sig, in case anyone's interested in what I do with my time, since I'm retired. Also linked to my art website is some biographical info, and there's a photo—rather an old one! =laugh=

[CDubsGotGoats]

Oh one other thing I thought of Lil Turtle; My pharmacy at least will give me "emergency" meds (usually because I forget to pick up in time and they have to resubmit for the rx...), so enough pills to get me through another few days at least, so if you really can't find a way to get your full prescription this may be a way to at least keep you from fully being cut off. They usually are really understanding about things like that and should be happy to help you especially in your scenario.

[lilturtle]

I might be able to get my psych meds covered through our county. I had to apply and be denied for medical assistance which I already was. I'm going to miss about a week's worth of meds as I won't get covered until sometime next week if they do cover me. The pharmacy wants over $100 for a weeks worth so that is not an option. I'm on disability so money is tight, especially the end of the month. Thank you everyone for your suggestions and prayers. Due to stress I have barely eaten the last two days (not that I am starving by any means lol). I've had about 3 oz of cheese. I am going to try and eat dinner tonight. I get weighed this afternoon too so I hope I have lost some more. Will update once I get back.