lovedancelive - you sound like a very sensible person and please don't consider yourself a weak link!! you did not chose to be laid off! that was a sucky curve ball life threw ... best wishes for the interview! oh and did you discover the possible missing loan? we know that it's best to even try a little payment or some kind of contact to let them know you're aware and trying.

coffeeshopgirl - yay for doing after dinner walks! and isnt' it sad that possibly the death could have been avoided , due to obesity. Very glad you are coping. We have had a LOT of rain, above average, which has cut down on my motorcycling to work but hopefully it will dry out a bit soon.

Ohio, Hi did your license turn up ? And you are clever to be able to crochet and try to learn more advance work via utube!

Hi Seabiscuit I am sorry you're so exhausted, hope you can get some answers. How was hanging with your friend and dog?

I am feeling..I guess anxious . Strange because its kind of new to me. I guess I can describe as just worrying over and over about things that really aren't that big a deal? but feel overwhelming when put altogether. Car needs inspection by the end of the month but I don't want to find out that something horrible and expensive is wrong, so I put off making the appointment. I know my motorcycle needs front brakes and a front tire but have put off making appt for that because of time. We have friends coming on july 5 and I HAVE to make the house more presentable but its overwhelming. ANd I'm five pounds heavier than I thought, (155 yesterday) so that makes me ten pounds more than I should be; my every waking thought is my weight and appearance yet I still cannot stick to good eating. But I workout out every day I guess thats my saving grace.

I was able to track down the info for all of my loans except for one so I know that two need paid while the rest are going to have to go back into deferment or whatever. But one loan's info was confusing and I couldn't find it. I finally figured out that it was cancelled for some reason. =/

Interview went okay, I'm meeting with someone else next week. I'm going to study until then, pick up any knowledge I can, maybe even take in a list of notes with ideas for them.

I still have to go to my welfare appointment and I'm quite nervous. I'm afraid of that place, it's not a nice place to go.

Then is my apartment showing at 5:30, which has me nervous because I'm still the financial weak link.

BUT last night my roommate and I got to talking about religion and normally, I leave those talks feeling frightened and confused; I'm Agnostic, I find it hard to stop asking questions and no one usually has any answers. But she really made me feel better, I feel some sense of calm now. Who knows, maybe I'll have an epiphany. =)

VermontMom, I understand the feeling. Maybe try making a list. That helps me sometimes, it gets my thoughts in order. Or I'll start to work on something bit by bit and it makes doing the rest easier. So maybe clean bit by bit each day, you have plenty of time! Once you start moving, it makes doing everything else seem like a piece of cake. =)

I am exactly this way!! I thought I was the only one, or that my personality was just defective. Is this a result of depression, do you think?

Hello friends.

I found my license. wooooooooo It was right by the computer. lol


I have a headache tonight. I need to take something before it turns into something really bad.

I have had a good couple of days here. I am going back to school online. I am excited. It is going to put me in the poor house though. College is ridiculous, what they charge to go to school...outrageous. I am studying Graphic Arts.

I hope everyone is ok, I always keep you all in my thoughts.

I still haven't sat down and learned half-double crochet. I will though. I really will. It will not defeat me. LOL

I feel like such a loser today. My back went out yesterday. I had to leave work early and go to the ER. I thought they would just give me a shot of something. They only gave me hydrocodone and a steroid pack. I was so pissed off, I just walked out of there.

I got up this morning and I was feeling a little better, so I got ready to go to therapy and halfway to the car my back seized up on me. OMG it hurt so bad. So I hobbled back into the house and called my therapist and told her I couldn't come. I needed to go to therapy this week. I had an interview today too, that I had to reschedule to tomorrow, so hopefully I'll be better then. Then I called off work, cause there was no way I could sit there all day.

Ugh....I wish I didn't have back problems. I also wish people would understand that I'm not a drug seeker, I just need them in times of an emergency like now.

I think my all or none way of thinking comes from the perfectionist part of my personality. When I was younger, it was easy to work out for a summer, sports season, and lose 20 pounds and tone up. Now that I'm older, I'm tired after working all day, and I have a husband and errands to come home to. So, I think the perfectionist ideal somewhat causes depression when I can't do everything perfect that day, ya know?

The hard part is breaking out of the "I have to be perfect 100% of the time or else I may as well fail" way of thinking. It's tough! Especially when you just want to do well, and that's how I always did well - was all or none! I think the other aspect of this is realizing I'm getting older, and my body has limitations.

3FC has been such a support for me in realizing that little changes, accepting our dieting/workout cheats, and getting back on track right away are the way to go these days. When you get older, 100% is really just a fraction of what you have left over from the day. And, if I can give 100% for 30-60 minutes when I'm working out, then so be it. It's better than feeling like crap for earning a rest day

Thanks for the response Kori - I'm glad I'm not the only perfectionist out there

Thanks VTMom! Yeah, it was sad that her death may have been avoided, but taking care of yourself is only a choice you can make. No one can make it for you, which is something me and the hubby realized a little while ago. We had tried being each others motivational coaches, and that was a flop. We had different work schedules, and we concluded that we need to be our own drill sergeants. We will motivate each other with eating habits though - He doesn't mind that I do my insane food prep, and I trust him to portion out his meals for himself. Turns out, he likes the availability of the portioned out meals for busier days

Has the weather been nicer for you? We had a bit of rain last week, but the weekend has been great for motorcycling! We're actually getting tan too, which is impressive (we were SO pale).

Hi Everyone!

Sorry I've been absent for a bit. VTMom, I can def relate to your feelings of anxiety - I've been stressing over the little things lately too. No idea why I do it either. For me, it comes and goes. I agree with lovedancelive; lists help me work through the things that have to get done.

Speaking of being up in pounds - I've been working out for the past week, and I'm up too! I figured its because I've been building muscle rather than decreasing my calories enough. Last time I was losing weight, it took me a good month of training my body to rev up my metabolism and desire less calories. Right now, my body is asking for more, so I'm giving it what it's asking for. I'm back up to 186-187 though and it's discouraging. I know it's my body building muscle, so I should just be patient and stick with it. Which means I'm going on the elliptical tonight. *joy*

Ok, time to tell you all about my food prep! I'm so proud of myself for getting back to it. I had been half-**ing it for the past few weeks, and now I'm back to prepping all three meals plus snacks! Here we go:

Food Prep
Breakfast - Homemade oatmeal bar, coffee w 2% milk
Snack - Greek yogurt w/honey
Lunch - Cole Slaw, Pasta Salad, Chicken breast + small apple
Prep work out snack - Carrot sticks, cucumbers, strawberries + hard boiled egg
Dinner - Chili loaded w veggies + watermelon

I'm back to the pre-workout snack when I get home from work. I have a system with my workouts, where I need to relax for an hour before I start my workout, but eating dinner that early makes me want to snack after my workouts. So, we'll see how this goes.

Have a good week everyone! Thanks for listening

I'm getting anxious today as well. My kids want go go to the mall after school, and I KNOW we're gonna end up eating there. I'm terrified as I haven't ate out since I started losing weight. I figure I should be ok with a 6 inch veggie sub from subway, but I don't know how many calories to log for that. And what's better, whole wheat bun flat bread? I know its silly to get anxious about this but I'm trying hard to make the right decisions and plan ahead as that's what works best for me.

Shyleia - i know this is 'after the fact' but I think you can see the calories on each Subway choice posted at the shop..how did you do?

Moreta , how is your back?

Ohio, I'm sooo glad your license turned up. And congrats on the decision to go back to school!! that is VERY brave I think. But I am chicken of any change

coffeeshopgirl - yay to your working out and WOW I am impressed wtih your food prep!! that is fantastic. And so kewl that your husband is on board with you too. wish mine was.
Our weather has been a crazy mixed bag! we're stuck in a pattern of warm and humid and isolated yet strong thunderstorms. I got kinda drowned on the way home today getting drenched is OK when the temps are so warm, but it is hard to see and I made it home before the lightning, thank goodness! Yay to your tan too My moisturizer, makeup and mineral powder all have suncreen; so my face never gets color, my DH looks like a Native American and I ride more than him! But at my age *ahem* I need all the anti-aging help I can get

lovedancelive how are things with you? was there another interview or was that last week..?

Hi Seabiscuit how are you?

My anxiety is ALOT better, thanks for the input and support When there is something I do NOT want to do, I try to recall what a good friend told me, 'JUST DO IT' because it has to be done anyway, and sometimes you are surprised that things turn out ok. And my car turned out okay!! infact I finally got my driver's window fixed and my check engine light is now off and it passed inspection after the work, and it was 'only' $350 instead of the possible thousand I was afraid of. Regarding my motorcycle..i will just have to schedule that. And the fact that visitors are coming and I am so ashamed of my house, well I don't know what to do about that; I bared my anxieties to DH and he didnt even respond so I have no help there. sigh. It's not a matter of just tackling a mess; it's a pile of old computers and crap and I just dont' know what to do with it.

Well I am still working out alot but eating too much and not good things, what else is new

VTMom - My back is a lot better, went on a 1.5 mile walk last night.

In other news, I'm 6 days late. I took a preg test this morning and it said neg, but I'm going to my GP tomorrow to get a blood test. Just want to make sure. If I am preg, I have to come off most of my meds and quit smoking....

Idk what to think. I really hope I'm not, but I kinda hope I am. Me and my husband tried for 18 months, but then we decided to take a break until I got a permanent job, which hasn't happened yet. The fertility dr said that chances were low that I would get pregnant, so we haven't been using protection. Oh well. Hopefully I'll get the test results back on Friday.

My husband is going down to FL for his grandfather's funeral this weekend. I was kinda mad that I couldn't go, but I called my therapist and she gave me some suggestions about what to do, since I can't go. I hate being alone, so I'm going to go spend the night with my mom Saturday night and I'm going shopping with my friend on Sunday. So hopefully I'll do ok this weekend.

I just wanted to check back in with everyone. I am doing alright. My anxiety is still active every day. I use my skills to try to keep it under control, it's really hard.

I have been working a lot lately. I have 2 clients now but it is only temporary, just for a few weeks. I have been running around like a chicken with my head cut off for about 2 weeks now and it isn't going to stop any time soon.

I hope everyone is alright. Lots of thoughts sent your way.

Hello everyone.

I went to see the orthopedist today and he said whoever read my x-rays didn't know what they were doing. My hip is not bone-on-bone. It is simple arthritis and is recommending to my Dr to put me on an arthritis medication. My hip is really bothering me right now, I am in a great deal of pain. I just took a pain pill. I will be fine pretty soon.

I have decided because Jennifer and I cannot take a "vacation" this year, I will take her to a water park sometime in July. She is going to invite some friends to go with us. Right now, the date is up in the air but it will be in July. I am excited to get away, even if it is only for a day.

I worked today and now I'm relaxing from a long day. I am going to read my book pretty soon. It is by Carl Hiaasen, called Nature Girl. It is a really good book, I am hooked.

Much love and thoughts to everyone.

I guess everyone has disappeared on me lately. I hope you all are still out there???

Everything seems to be ready for me to go back to college online. Wish me luck, please. Keep me in your prayers. I am going to need them.

My weight has gone up. sigh I need a bicycle badly so I can get out and get some exercise. I lost my membership to the gym do to lack of funds. It is just so hard for me. Jennifer and I live hand to mouth, we do the best we can with the money I get but it's hard.

I hope you all are well, Jennifer and I are doing very well. Things are always tight financially but we are so very lucky. We have each other and a house, plus a car and jobs so we are always grateful.

Please, someone come talk to me.

Hi Ohio! Looks like you've been manning the chat lately - thanks for keeping up on it

I may have missed this in a previous post, but what are you going to study in college? That's awesome that you're going back to school! I'm glad to see that you had a Dr give you a second opinion on your arthritis - looks like he pointed you in the right direction. Are you feeling any better since the visit? And, about the bicycle - have you checked out Craigslist? There's some decent stuff out there for only 40-50$. What kind of bike are you looking for? Where do you like to bike - trails, around town?

As for me, TOM is back around, and I caved and got ice cream. I'm trying to portion it out, so wish me luck. I have NO energy today, so I'm hoping that I'll be able to work out tomorrow.

Other than feeling out of energy, things are alright. Just gotta pull through the TOM.