Last year I joined this forum after a year of stops and starts of losing weight. Up until February of this year, I was doing ok-ish with my weight loss goals. But it seemed like every step forward was accompanied by 2 steps back. And then BLAM, hit with depression. I stopped exercising (because I started crying on the treadmill as each step reminded me how pointless it was) and started eating my feelings. I gained back all the weight I had lost in 2 years plus some and am now at my highest weight ever.

Now I'm finally seeing a therapist and on medication (Prozac) and feel like maybe I can start tackling some other things. The weight has really been holding me back. I don't feel comfortable taking on a job opportunity because going to a field position instead of a desk job can be hard physically as well as socially (worrying about what people think of my appearance/weight now that I'd be meeting new people in person instead of over the phone.) I've missed out on social opportunities this summer because of both the depression and the weight (a bathing suit - no way.) I want to change this.

But I've struggled with both weight and depression since I was a preteen. I've been through this cycle SO MANY EFFING TIMES. And I can't really seem to convince myself that this time is going to be different, that this time I'll actually meet my goals instead of getting halfway there and then relapsing.

Weight loss is long term and takes sustained effort and I don't think I can do that when I'm still struggling with the depression. But I can't wait for the depression to go away to address the weight because a) it makes me more depressed and b) it might never go away really. But I don't know if I can sustain an weight loss effort or even start one when it's still so hard to get through a lot of days and I have to re-lose weight that I already lost.

**And please ignore my tracker, it hasn't been updated in 8 months and I'm back above 215 now

Re-losing weight is tough. I had my son and was 188 at my check up, then in a couple months I just ballooned out to 230. I couldn't even 'blame' it on the pregnancy. I was down on myself for awhile but I guess for me it was all about getting over myself.

I've always been overweight, and I've always told myself I'm disgusting and ugly and terrible. 24/7. What a terrible habit to get in. It's a hard one to break.

I wish there was a magic way to step out of depression, and I wish I had some fabulous secret for you that would help :c Because I feel your pain, and I want you to do well.

I know this is going to sound corny but have you considered making a mental list (or physical list- that's what I did because I love office supplies, lol) of all of the reasons why this time is different? And how you're going to make it?

You can be your worst enemy or your best friend. You gotta switch the mindset from "this is pointless" to "I will do this. I will see results. I've seen results before, and I can do it again twice as well this time."

You DID do it before. That is fabulous. You CAN do it again...and now that you know what caused your derailing, you've got more experience and knowledge under your belt than last time.

That basically summed up my entire life. I'm glad to know I'm not alone.

So many people have lost and gained again and then lost and kept it off. You can do it too. You are just as good, and capable, and deserving and worthwhile.

I'm sorry about this rant, lol. This is probably more than you wanted to read but I just understand at least some of the stuff you're feeling right now...<3

Every time you find yourself criticizing yourself, compliment yourself.

I've got no doubt that you can take control and do this in a healthy, long-term way. And if you wait for the 'right time' to happen you might be waiting forever. So make today the right time!!
<3

Again sorry about the length of this lol.

I understand where you are coming from: up and down, mostly up-up; then so hard on myself I just want to hide.
I'm really hoping that with the support of 3fc this time it will be different.

I don't have any magical advice, esp since I'm in the same place--except as you say, Dandelion, try to be your own best friend. If we can forgive ourselves, it's a start toward moving forward.

Please keep us updated, Ladies. I'm rooting for you!

Yes you can do it..! Just be more patient this time. The key to it is to enjoy each and every step you do in losing weight. Don't pressure yourself too much on your goals. Remember that the best part of the journey is the journey itself and not when you reach the destination.