[aliasihaya]

Wow.

First of all, Congratulations on getting so close to your goal of weight loss!! I think it's fantastic. You've definitely acheived a lot and no one should belittle that.

If you're in college, are you on financial aid? I lived on financial aid in college. I had a tiny apartment that I lived in alone, but it worked out really well. Sure I had loans that I had to pay off, but it wasn't that bad and I did pay them off. I guess my point is if the only reason you're staying is because you feel you have no options then understand that is not true. There are ways to move out. They may not be fun options, but they might be better than feeling trapped.

However, if it's not the financial situation then you'll need to decide if you're willing to continue to give yourself to someone who treats you this way. I personally think that if she doesn't want you now then she'll come up with some other excuse as to why she doesn't want you when you do reach your weight loss goal. It may not be good enough for her. And that's not good enough for you. I can't really offer any concrete advice because I'm not in a relationship. But I can say that I'd rather not be in a relationship then to put up with that crap. You're worth more than that. We all are.

But good luck. Only you can decide what's best for you. Just don't waste years trying to figure it out. Time is precious.

[kaplods]

I want to caution you that when you get the strength to leave her, there's a good chance your girlfriend will tell you everything you want to hear, in order to manipulate you into staying. It's part of the typical abuse cycle.

You're going to want to believe her (that's normal too), but chances are she'll return to the abuse as soon as she feels the danger of you leaving has passed.

Abuse tends to escalate into an ever-worsening spiral. The more abuse you tolerate, the more she will heap upon you - and when you threaten to leave (if she believes you) she'll likely be exceedingly romantic in order to "win you back" only to return to the manipulations and abuse.

Please take care of yourself, and seek help if you can't do it alone.

[ironmo]

I know what you are talking about because i was in your shoe before your girl friend reminded me by me ex girl friend. I was in good shape but i have a little bit extra fat in my billy so she always made me feel bad for that, sometime when we made out or sleep with her i cant take off my shirt because i don't feel secure about my body anymore During the relationship i start to gain weight more and more due to the hard time she gave me about how i look. Many times she wanted to break up with me and her reason was you ate not healthy!!! i mean come on am a80 cm and weight 86 whats not healthy in that!! Now believe me this kind in relationships is not healthy and they use your energy and happiness after they done with you they will look for another person they just like a vampire, you are better without them.

[Thighs Be Gone]

Girl or guy, I would feel the same. If someone can't love me at my worst, they don't deserve me at my best. She sounds petulent and plain frightful. You can't stay because you are scared to be alone. That just isn't right and will never work. Your time and energy are being sucked up now by something that clearly is NOT working. If you free up your time and energy, you will have room for a new opportunity to present itself--maybe a new job, new friend or new love interest.

Watch out for yourself. Take what you need for yourself. If you don't, no one else will either.

[candice1022]

Let me just say that this girl is not healthy for someone who is trying to lose weight.... and not to make you feel bad but theres always going to be some excuse why your not good enough and why she dont want you.... she obvs insecure in her own ways and keeping you around to make her feel better about herself... thats not your job nor do you deserve that. You need to move on and find someone who loves you for you pound for pound skinny or fat... that is true love. And one more thing why would you want to "do it" with someone who is so mean to you? you should want to give love to the people who love you who support you who will be there for you....

Dont even worry about the relationship right now you focus on your weight loss goals and shell get the hint that its not very nice to ignore and treat people like dirt.... you do this for you... set mini goals for yourself in life just like you would in weight loss....

perhaps your first goal should be to find an apartment that you can afford with maybe a couple friends or roomates...

good luck sweetie keep us all posted were here for you <3

[dandyrover]

I can't even handle having a friend whose respect is conditional on my waistline. If I even sniff that someone has an attitude like that, that person is out of my life. Otherwise, I will rebel and sabotage my (medically necessary) diet. It's a matter of self preservation.

[nat123]

She's awful. I understand your current living situation makes things difficult to break things off with her (if that's what you want) and in that case maybe its best to simply focus on yourself and your journey and emotionally detaching yourself from your bully gf and in the meantime start thinking of your options...although you may feel as though you're 'stuck'..there are always other options. You deserve better.period.

[Elliemar]

You most definitely do deserve better! Follow your journey for you and you alone. What she's giving you isn't love, support and all the other things that come with a relationship. All she's doing is slowly destroying your self-confidence and self-worth. I've been there and one day I snapped and finished it. It IS hard starting anew when you feel you have noone around, but it's much better than that kind of situation. You'll be free to do what you want, when you want. You are NOT ugly etc and I'm sure you'll soon make new friends who deserve your attention - this woman certainly doesn't.