Isabella, what are you doing to try and meet new people? Do you have a regular out of the house type job?

I often wonder how adults make new close friends. I can make 'friends' at the level of closer than acquaintances, but not real enough to call with problems. How to make that jump...

Originally Posted by jeminijad:
Isabella, what are you doing to try and meet new people? Do you have a regular out of the house type job?

I often wonder how adults make new close friends. I can make 'friends' at the level of closer than acquaintances, but not real enough to call with problems. How to make that jump...

I'm a uni student.

I'm not an "adult" adult if you know what I mean. I don't know how adults make close friends.:hug:
Also suffering from social anxiety and in therapy and on meds for it.

I know this is an older thread but I feel like contributing and ranting because often times I feel like this....

Sometimes I feel that way, a lot of times more than I like to, but then I look back at everything and realize something. Men DO want me, it's just all the wrong ones! The ones I end up wanting don't want me but in the end they are all the wrong ones too! The wrong men choose me and I choose the wrong men for myself. (self esteem issues, because of childhood triggers, a lot of reason I choose the wrong men..)

I don't want to be one of these pathetic people who settle for something that's less than perfect for me. I see it all the time. I'm also not one of those people who can't tolerate being alone, who can't stand myself long enough where I need to jump from relationship to relationship because that's not me. I find people who do that don't actually feel at all. They place in there head bull**** and continue on with their bull**** because they can't hack it alone for more than two seconds. I know I'm attractive even when I'm 30 pounds over weight and it's not my chubbiness that turns guys off, it's the fact that I become insecure with myself. Its the fact I go so far into my head I push people away because I fear getting hurt. Or maybe I do that because the person clearly isn't showing me enough interest that they care about it. It becomes this complete battle where the confident wonderful side of me comes out, and not long after an insecure little girl comes out...

Sometimes I think I'm doomed to be alone forever because I'm a very strong personality type and most men can't handle that simply because well there not "men". I don't allow people to walk all over me and I take the time after ever failed "real" relationship I had to realize in the end it was never me. I gave all the love I could to that person and in the end they failed me. It wasn't because I didn't love them enough sometimes I think it was because I loved them too much. So when I start dating I start to become picky, I have three strike rules, sometimes a one strike rule. Maybe thats unfair for them, maybe thats why I'm doomed to be alone, because I don't give people enough changes to prove to me there worth something. Sometimes I think it's because I just don't want to open up again to anyone...but you know what it's not that. It's because I don't want to open up to EVERYONE. If I'm a week or a month into a new "guy" there really shouldn't be mess ups. I get we're not perfect, but if you're showing me you're a complete emotional basket case I'm not going to waste my time on you. Or if you take me out on a first date and complain because we're being served by a guy instead of all the hot waitress around, you're not going get a second date!

Maybe I'm more stronger then I give myself credit for, maybe my self repect is higher than I realize when I'm down in the dumps. Or maybe I just know I deserve the BEST in the end and if that means I'm alone until I'm 35, even 40 years old because I can't find that perfect person for me. So be it. Don't get me wrong sometimes it's hard being that alone and most of the time it really sucks but at least in the end I'm not copping out on myself, giving myself something less than I deserve. At least when mr. right now comes around I give him the best I can and if it doesn't work out so be it, it just proves to me I picked the wrong one again. But at least in the end I'm not settling for anyone and everyone who wants me because I'm too scared to be alone. Sometimes I think thats how it should be, that I should just settle...but in the end I can't really bring myself to do it! I refuse to bring myself to do it. So what do I do? I focus on myself!!!

SO here I am again back at this journey to lose this dreadful weight and I'm selfish, and I enjoy not having to worry about anyone else but myself. I enjoy not having to go out on a date and worry about the calories I'm eating in a meal. Or have a guy tell me "You know you shouldn't be scared to eat in front of me" just because I don't finish a whole meal or the fact I can't stand the dessert menu because I find all the desserts taste disgusting! Maybe I'm not as lonely as I thought I was before I started posting this long post...Sometimes I just needed to write it out, to realize that it's not me...it's them!

Sorry this really wasn't a post to the poster who started a thread...I just needed to really get this off my chest.

I feel this way all the time now. I feel like if I were thinner and prettier that someone would notice me. I feel like throwaway some days, like I don't matter. I try to tell myself I'm not that bad, that I'm a good person, that I just need to be patient but it's difficult. Today is one of those bad days when all I can think of are the rejections and the pain I've experienced.

I have Social Anxiety (and Generalized Anxiety) so it's been difficult to change my life around with regards to making connections.

You truly can be just as lonely in a relationship as being single :(