[BowandArcher]

We all have those days where we just want to punch ourselves in the face even though we are doing our best. This self hate, discust and depression is most likely impressed on us from an early age by the media and the judgements of others.

We need to realize that our depression and self hating is NOT fixed by just losing weight! Most of us have spent our lives putting our self down and ruining any positive thoughts with self doubt. I made this thread because I think I would love to hear how other women keep from this vicious cycle of depression, binging, diet, repeat...because if you think about it, we eat when we are sad, discouraged, angry, disappointed, and hopeless. Here are the steps I take to avoid my personal "Black Hole of self pity":

Three Steps to Keep You From Fat-Girl-Freaking <3


step one:take a deep breath, close your eyes, and remind yourself that you are not (by far) the only overweight person anyone has seen. fun tip: NO ONE IS WORRIED ABOUT HOW YOU LOOK, BECAUSE THEY ARE TOO DISTRACTED WITH HOW THEY LOOK!

step two: center yourself, take plenty of slow deep breaths and tell yourself you are beautiful even if you don’t think so at the time. self hate and pity will get you no where. Only through self love will you lose your weight and keep it off.

step three: Think of something that makes you happy that has nothing to do with body image. us women OBSESS about self image and we NEED to be distracted with other thoughts otherwise we would go crazy and kill our boyfriends without them ever knowing what they did lol

repeat if necessary… hang tough, even the worst feelings will pass.


How do you ladies learn to love yourself on a daily basis?

[BowandArcher]

just read a great idea!!! journaling and getting all the emotions out on paper instead of eating over them! what a great idea! Love it.

[bellastarr]

you made a great point.. i do look at other people but i always am most concerned thinking about how i look.....it is true...we are all our own worst critics

[BowandArcher]

yup yup. Its funny how even the most confident of people are judging themselves before you and the only reason someone would say something about your weight would be to distract others from their own flaws. human nature at its best.

[Lizardo]

I want to sincerely thank you for posting this. I have been struggling with depression, self-esteem issues, and body-image issues practically all my life. After a talk with my sister I wound up googling support online for weight loss. I am not severely overweight, but it something I would like to get control of before it gets out of hand so that I can focus on the things that matter more to me. I am sick of hating myself and your post helped to make me believe that I can get out of this funk. Thank you again!

L

[BowandArcher]

No problem! I spend my whole life hating myself to a point to self destruction, eating disorders, drug habits, and the insanity that comes along with it. Eventually I asked myself why, and i realized it was because I wasn't like girls in the media, the girls who the guys drooled over. It was because I wanted something I didnt have and it made me angry and bitter towards myself for not being able to lose the weight. I didnt feel like I was worth anything and no one loved me.

Eventually it made me so mad that I decided it was stupid that I was fighting myself when I could have been loving myself and making progress instead of being stuck on the fact that I was a fat chick. I said "your fat, accept it, now what are you going to do to change it without slaughtering your self respect?"

The whole time I was beating myself up I could have been encouraging myself to do better next time. Now I know I'm worth more than puking in a toilet or starving myself with drugs. Yeah, it helped me lose weight, but it also made me lose my mind and I lost my worth in my own eyes.

Women are F-ed with CONSTANTLY in commercials, bilboards, movies, shopping malls, ect...to be thin and beautiful. They do it on purpose, because the worse you think you look the more products you will buy to look better. We dont think it gets to us but subconsciously its screaming at us.

I'm glad you got something out of my post and you can do it (and have fun!) if you take steps towards being your own friend

[sidanne42]

Originally Posted by BowandArcher

just read a great idea!!! journaling and getting all the emotions out on paper instead of eating over them! what a great idea! Love it.

Great post! I am a foodaholic and an emotional eater. I would always eat when depressed, sad, lonely, frustrated, nervous, anxious, bored -- so much of the time, I ATE, and ATE, and ATE...until I reached the unsightly and even more depressing whopping weight of 320 lbs. I am 42 years young, and that was just too d**n much for me to weigh! I had high bp/cholesterol/ and was pre-diabetic. I started having scary chest pains. It took hitting rock bottom, and thinking I wuz gonna DIE before I did something abut it! Upon the advice of my doctor, I began Medifast / Take Shape for Life 10 1/2 weeks ago. To date, i have lost 52 lbs., and my bp, cholesterol, and blood sugar levels are all at healthy levels. I get tons of daily compliments and I feel healthy and alive and hopeful again! If I keep on track -- no, WHEN I keep on plan, I will have lost 104 pounds by summer's end! Losing half of me is hard work, but I am determined to do it. I ate bad, unhealthy (but yummy!) food for decades and almost died because of it. I am finally ready for change, and I am working steadily on building a life that does not revolve around food -- a life without limitations! Best wishes to you, and thank you for your post.

Sidnane

[sidanne42]

Originally Posted by sidanne42

Great post! I am a foodaholic and an emotional eater. I would always eat when depressed, sad, lonely, frustrated, nervous, anxious, bored -- so much of the time, I ATE, and ATE, and ATE...until I reached the unsightly and even more depressing whopping weight of 320 lbs. I am 42 years young, and that was just too d**n much for me to weigh! I had high bp/cholesterol/ and was pre-diabetic. I started having scary chest pains. It took hitting rock bottom, and thinking I wuz gonna DIE before I did something abut it! Upon the advice of my doctor, I began Medifast / Take Shape for Life 10 1/2 weeks ago. To date, i have lost 52 lbs., and my bp, cholesterol, and blood sugar levels are all at healthy levels. I get tons of daily compliments and I feel healthy and alive and hopeful again! If I keep on track -- no, WHEN I keep on plan, I will have lost 104 pounds by summer's end! Losing half of me is hard work, but I am determined to do it. I ate bad, unhealthy (but yummy!) food for decades and almost died because of it. I am finally ready for change, and I am working steadily on building a life that does not revolve around food -- a life without limitations! Best wishes to you, and thank you for your post.

Sidnane

ALSO: journaling really does help you get your negative emotions out of you and onto paper! Poetry is a great creative outlet as well -- both reading and writing it!!! Good luck to you and thanks again for your posts!!!

[BowandArcher]

Yeah I didnt see any other post like this and I think it's important for us to have tools to use in those scary dark moments. I know what it feels like to feel trapped.

sidanne42 that is amazing congrats I hope I have half the drive you have to get through this

[Nebuchadnezzar]

What a good thread. this is me in a nutshell. Fat with EDs and no way to get any help for them. All I can do is try for self love in some form and try to avoid my plentiful triggers. But its true!

Without self love, self respect and just a bit of solidarity with your inner body demons? Weight loss wont happen and nor will self esteem increase.

[BowandArcher]

I just wanted to throw out there that getting help is a great thing. I see both a therapist and a counselor weekly and I totally encourage counseling. By the end of a session you feel like someone has wiped your soul clean and your ready to face the day.

[mizmizzy]

This was a great post =) It made me feel better reading it! Thank you =)