hello chicks!
marie - congrats on the new job, you professional woman you I bet your girls are proud of you too! so glad you havn't had an episode. I hope the husband is being supportive. Oh my gosh, you have a 2 hour commute?! poor thing.

ems - Hi! and I am well thank you, it feels so good to say that! and how are you

momof4 CONGRATS on being down 25 pounds!!! that is awesome! I do see a diff in the pics, you were smart to remember to take starting pic. I hope your kids are giving you some peace

Aunty Jam - thank you for those pics!! they are SO adorable. Tell me, what did they get ahold of in the pillow pic I sure hope Snoop grows on you more, or if not, that it will be an okay decision. The bike runs great

Bonnie - how are you?

Chubbykins I will selfishly say that it is nice to have an animal professional here and I admire all the education and training to get to where you are. So sorry about the epically bad day!

I am back at the GOOD summer job, yay! and I rode the motorcycle to work. I froze but it was still great!

Hey in one months' time I have gone down 6 pounds It hasnt' been easy but I am so glad. Now for the next 6!

momof, congrats on the weight loss you're pics look great.
auntyjam, your dogs are darling
vermontmom, glad you like your summer job and your new bike.
marie,so glad you like your new job. That is exciting.

Hey everyone else.

This is the third day I have been "cutting down" on my eating and really thinking seriously about how I can live the rest of my life without binging and using food to cope, so far so good(pretend like you didn't read this I don't want to jinx myself-lol). I know I won't be perfect but , for a large part, that is something else I needed to learn. Trying to be perfect not just regarding my weight issue but most things in my life has had a very negative effect on my life. Unlike most perfectionists I have been so fearful of taking steps to better my life that I have just stayed mostly stagnant that is not good.Taking small and steady steps is ,for me, the only way, I believe, I can be successful. It is so foreign not to be thinking about food 24/7.

Everyone have a wonderful Saturday!

Well I was able to get out and see a movie tonight...well before I left my sis in law who is very need calls cause shes all alone and makes me feel bad cause I couldnt answer her text then cause im going to a movie and shes not....she was "kidding" of course but it was constant and she was getting mad at me...I really wanted to go and be alone...didnt want to entertain company nothing just go and relax...earlier today she texted me that she just wanted to drive off a cliff and not care anymore... then as the movie is starting a teen text me and said they were thinking about dying and decided they were going to kill themselves....so after the movie I went and got her and took her to eat and talked..then get home and I have a kid that I dont get to see text me that he is a mess up and just wants to die....I really should get my counseling degree....but this is several times a week I am dealing with this. A girl in the gym today started telling me about how your mother in law hurt her so bad and she can forgive the person that raped her but she cant forgive the words and things her mother in law said. So I had to explain that the hate will eat at her and that by her forgiving her mil is NOT her saying "its ok what you did to me" but its saying" You know what you did was not ok but Im not going to allow it to hurt me anymore I'm giving it to God and HE will take care of it" She came in telling me about her horrible day today...soooo hmmm what do you guys think...counselor should be my calling???? It does become exhausting BUT I don't EVER want anyone to think there is NO ONE they can talk to.....I was there and it was lonely!!

Hey everyone,

Vermont, thanks honey I am totally loving the new job, husband is still being a pain though. well done on losing 6lbs. So the new bike is working out good then? my cousin came over this afternoon on his bike, its not a great one but I still was jealous I really want one, but got to wait until i retake my test I lost my driving licence when I was a teenager and never retook it.

Bonnie, well done on cutting down just keep focused and think how good you are gonna feel when you get on the scales and have lost. good luck with it all.

Mom, iv said it before you should defiantly look into going pro. I think your so great looking out and having people come to you when they need help. I know you are going through things of your own, but what you do for others is amazing. I wish I had some one I could go to when I was feel bad.

So today I took my grandmother shopping and out for lunch the back to hers for drinks along the river she has the most amazing house on the Thames, it was a good day, then my husband who has been working on her house getting the garden ready for summer came back home with us has just been in a crap mood. I am totally sick of him, he has come up with yet another sh*t excuses not to go back to work. I really think he needs some mental help too. we have no friends that come over because he is just rude with people, I dont think he has any friends himself as he doesnt go out with out me. I think he is just scared of other people, and its driving me nuts he need an outside life even if its just a break from me and the kids, I have a great social life with my friends (who's husbands he dislikes for some reason or another) I just dont get it. If he dont go back to work soon I am really going to leave him as its getting abit of a joke now, and I am sick of working my arse off to support another person.
Sorry I am pretty peed of with his actions this week i just needed a rant.

Weight wise I am doing so bad I am going to focus next week and really start to shed some LB's its only 2 1/2 months till im 30 and I gotta sort it out!

Hope everyone is having a good weekend xxxxx

Marie your grandmother's house sounds so nice and relaxing. I hope the other issues with your DH get better.

Mom sounds like you could be a counselor. It is a gift to be a good listener and I know the others are glad they have you.

Hey Vermont Mom and everyone else. Hoping you are having a great weekend.

Hey everyone.

Chubby - your advice isn't unwelcome, I know you have the dogs interest at heart. I train quite a bit so I'm always wanting to offer advice to people I meet. They get a good quality, locally made kibble called Acana. Google it if you would like to see... They're on the lamb and apple formula.

Vermont - they were destroying stuffies. It's their favorite thing to do.

Snoop is doing alright, my husband really likes him. I'm kind of worried he may have allergies. He's always so itchy. He has a lot of ball drive & a fair amount of play drive. Im hopefully borrowing some agility equipment soon, agility usually perks up these working breeds.

Well, I need to b!tch. On Wednesday our Internet was cut off, step d complained I told her at least we still have a house & food. Hubby has since ran a cord over to an obliging neighbor. On Thursday I came home sick (5 times in 5 months now) from work to find theyve cut off our gas as well. That means no hot water, no heat (we're in Canada) and since our stove and oven is gas, no cooking inside. On Friday we got a call that the power is being cut off next week. We've been surviving so far by using the BBQ, kettle & microwave. But if the power goes nothing will work . Hubby made the joke that it will be just like camping and I said yeah except that all of my fish will die without filters & heaters. I cant even change their water because the stuff from the pipes is freezing cold. I have 4 tanks . I really don't wantthem to suffer and die. I celebrated yesterday by eating double my allowable calories. Drank a whole bottle of some very nice Pinot noir I was saving, a few beer, a cyclone Popsicle, several slices of gourmet bread and a pack of black licorice.

To top it off our best friends have finally decided to get married in the mountains about 5 hours from here with just us as witnesses. They've decided to do this the day after our 10th wedding anniversary and the men have planned a big trip through the mountains to celebrate. Um..... Hello???? Anyone see something wrong with this? Sure hubby had 3 interviews with the same company last week and has a "really good feeling!" but seriously? Am I the only one who thinks this is a problem? I don't care if our friends are trying to cover most of it.

I am so done. We need at least $1500 to make everyone happy. That's more then my cheque. Plus at the end of the month we'll have to pay for Snoop or give him back. I've taught him so much, he loves to learn. Have I just been overly optimistic about our situation all along or am I just a bleeping idiot???

auntyjam, it sounds like your going through some tough times. I know things will get better but when you're in the middle of it all sometimes it doesn't seem that way but hang in there.

Doing fair today working on increasing my self-confidence. Still doing fairly well at the eating change.

Everyone have a great Monday!

Oh Aunty Jam I wish I could do something to help you!! (mail you a big sack of $$) That is just unacceptable that DH is even joking about the situation. A husband should feel the need to provide in any way, I have washed dishes for extra $ . I don't want to sound disapproving of him but I agree, something wrong with the picture!! I hope SO much that something happens to remedy the situation. Heat is necessary!!

(destroying stuffies, lol, my Eddie loves that too)

Bonnie, you sound like such a sensible and straight forward person, I am sure you will be able to keep on with your decision of better eating

marie, I am sorry your husband is causing you such strife that you have to consider leaving him..not good. But very glad you have such a nice family , I hope they could help in some way if you ever have to make that big decision. And I hope someday you can get your motorbike license, you know how fun it is

You know, the way your described your husband, is just like mine. the only friends we have, are ones that I have cultivated. And he is rude to them sometimes and just doesn't care. What the ****?!

momof4, nice profile pic! and oh my gosh you should be a pro in the counseling field. That these people know they can confide in you is a huge trust. I'm sorry your movie was interrupted though.

Hi to Chubbykinss and ems!

My younger son brought 2 boxes of chocolates for Mother's Day, oh no!! I let everyone have as many as they wanted so I wouldn't eat them all. Bad day for the diet!

Hey Everyone

Bonnie, my grandmothers house is beautiful, I would love to live by the river, sadly i cant afford it though.
Well done on the self confidence working, are you feeling better with in yourself abit more now?

Aunty Jam, god that sounds awful for you at the moment honey, I hope things get better soon, it's good to hear the dogs settling in more now. My internet gets cut off every month as I dont pay it, and the government takes 17% of my salary every month due to unpaided council tax. Its such a b1tch.

Vermont, your so right bikes are such good fun, im defiantly going to look into it, im fed up of traveling 2 hours on the train to work, on a bike it would only take 45mins.
Happy mothers day, we have it in march in the UK you have to let yourself have some choc's on mothers day

Me and DH had a chat about things over the weekend, and I have said that with out ANY crap excuses he has to have a job by the end of July, its my final shot at things, I just hope it works out.
My daughter went to see a special learning teacher for her dyslexia yesterday, she is so far behind on reading and writing it's heart breaking, but she is trying so hard.
Im feeling very empty today, i dont know why, i am just plodding through life without doing anything, it seams such a sad existence.
Oh well bath and bed for me tonight, these 4:45am starts are taking it out of me.

Take care everyone xxx

hey girls hope your all well well done on the losses and if you didnt lose keep positive and give it your all this week

Im doing ok got exams starting next week im abit nervous but il be worse next week lol I lost 2.5lbs this week im a lb off being back in the 150's xxx

Hey everyone Have a wonderful Tuesday.

Hey all I hope you are all alright!

I lost 2 more pounds this week. It was a surprise as I lose slower than that usually. Probably was because of the water retention during TOM. I'm pretty happy with that. I haven't had such a flat stomach since high school.

I can't wait to lose more 10.5 more kilos to go.

I'm keeping all the food money I don't use anymore to buy me skinny-clothes once I am there. Alright, enough weight loss bliss.

Have a super day everyone

Sorry Ive been so scattered...seems a lot of people pulling at me on top of everything I have going on and really think my head is spinning....ANWAYS
I won the gym weight lose challenge. I got 50$ voucher to the shoe store!!!! The trainer I worked with twice in the 2 weeks wanted me to give him credit for my weight loss...first he posted "did you tell them who your trainer is" Then He deleted that comment and was like WE need to keep this going when are we set up for another training you going in today?" I was like I was already there and did a training with Jarrod...well then he got mad. I pm him and was like listen After the first session we had I told you my knee hurt and we have to work around it and then you put me on the stepper for 10mins and after the second training session I was outta the gym for a week and couldnt walk on my knee...I cant afford injury...he is a body builder...and its not his full time job...sigh he has very low self esteem so I couldnt just slap him in the face and walk away I had to acknowledge him blah blah blah...not saying he didn't help but looking at it I did all the hard work and still managed to win even after he put me outta the gym for a week!
Then my sis in law/ was best friend remember the one that cut me off in december saying I was self righteous blah blah blah after i did nothing but love her and be there for her even when she was doing wrong.....Well shes posting crazy things online to make the ex jealous...like shes preggo and she went out with someone...really starting to make herself look jealous..then putting a guilt trip on me for not inviting her to the movies when I went by myself then because i didnt text her to tell her every little thing......AHHHHHHHHHH I wanna just smash my head off the wall....I WORKED HARD FOR THE GYM THING YET NOW I HAVE TO THANK A TRAINER THAT DIDNT REALLY HELP JUST SO ITS NOT AWKWARD AT THE GYM....THEN I HAVE TO REMEMBER TO CALL AND "CHECK ON" MY SIS IN LAW CAUSE IF NOT THEN IM A BAD FRIEND..........
PEOPLE ARE FLAT OUT EXHAUSTING

Aunty- dont even read my post cause you have so much going on my issues are like nothing compared to yours.....BEEN THINKING BOUT YOU!!!!! I wish I could help you too..I have a neighbor today that was telling me they were struggling and some things were shut off so I went in and gathered a few boxes of food and took to them...hopefully someone comes along and can help!!!!!!!!

Good luck on your exams ems

Chubby well done on the 2lb loss

My feet are killing me today iv been in heels since 5am, but i am loving the power dressing its amazing how a well fitting outfit can make you look slimmer.

Thought I would let you know I am off the sleepers I have only had to take them once in 2 weeks, i feel quite good about it.

The sun is out in london today and my sprit's are well lifted. Im embracing it as i dont normally feel this happy.
I'm just hoping some more weight comes of so I will feel comfortable in my summer clothes.

Hope everyone else is feeling good today xxx

ems, congrats on the weight loss, way to go!
chubbykins-way to go on your weight loss !
marie-ouch, high heels hurt its been a long time since I've worn them but they can really hurt. glad you're off the sleepers-way to go.
mom-take care of yourself.

Everyone have a great Wednesday!