Depression and Weight Issues Have you been diagnosed with depression, are possibly on depression medication, and find it affects your weight loss efforts? Post here for support!

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Old 04-21-2011, 10:16 PM   #1  
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Default Feeling depressed as heck

I may regret this post in the morning! Lately I’ve been feeling so down about all things weight loss-related. For one thing, I’ve lost less than 3 lb since Christmas despite not eating beyond my calorie limit (aside from very rarely) and exercising six times a week (intensely as well - including things like interval training, jump rope, running etc.) Initially I tried a 500 deficit for several weeks - no loss whatsoever. So increased it to about 650 deficit - still no loss whatsoever. Started weight training about four weeks ago, still nothing! I’m close to tearing my hair out with frustration. I just do not know what I’m doing wrong. I’ve lost 75lb so far, so obviously I did something right in the past!

I just don’t know what’s going wrong now. I measure and weigh all my food, so it can’t be that. I realise plateaus are normal, but prior to Christmas I had a break from weight loss and just maintained - so I would have thought a plateau would be less likely.

I have a long-term illness and my exercise zaps so much energy from me, so you can only imagine it’s doubly frustrating to see no results. Hard work/doing everything right = no results.

I’m also really concerned because my doctor wants to put me on the pill (Yasmin) to treat heavy periods. I kind of view the pill as evil since last time I was on it (a different pill) I developed horrible side-effects (heart palpitations, weakness) AND it was part of what made me balloon up to 250 lb. I’m so terrified of gaining my weight back - I’ve worked over two years EVERY DAY to lose it. I don’t want a sodding pill to pile it back on.

I think everything has just come home to roast in the last couple of days. I think I’m depressed. I’m also suffering body-hatred at the moment more than I’ve ever experienced in my life. All I can see when I look in the mirror is fatness and ugliness. My body, at the weight it’s at now, is probably worse than it was at 250 lb. I’ve got horrendous cellulite, my stretch marks on my arms are more noticeable than ever and I’ve also noticed that my boobs are beginning to sag a LOT. I’m only eighteen and this is devastating me. They’re not pointing at the floor or anything, but they have an extremely noticeable sag, especially from the side. I’ve hardly lost any weight lately, yet it’s happened recently. I’ve only lost one cup size and one band size since I begin losing weight. So it makes no sense to me. It’s not like I was a EE and reduced to an A. I was a B and reduced to an A. Hardly a massive difference. And I’ve lost weight SO slowly (less than an lb a week.) I keep beating myself up thinking I must have done something wrong. I just find it so hard to accept having such a mess of a body at eighteen - it’s worse than someone triple my age. Add to that, all I see around me is perfect girls who are skinny, with pert boobs and perfect, stretch-mark free skin. It just feels like torture. I don’t think I’ll ever be comfortable showing my body to anyone ever.

I think I’m depressed - I want to tell my Mum or someone, particularly about the body issues, but I feel too embarrassed and I’m worried that I’ll just end up crying or something. I think she assumes everything has just snapped back into place with my body.

I admit it’s better than some, but I had much higher hopes and am so disappointed and upset by what I see in the mirror. Is there ANY hope for the sagging boobs aside from surgery (which is a no-no.) I haven’t even graduated school and I can’t believe this is what I could be left with for the rest of my life.

Sorry for the rant, I’m not usually like this. But everything has been getting to me in the past couple of days. I feel awful thinking this way, because usually I’m a very positive person. But lately I just want to burst into tears all the time.

Last edited by Autumn Gold; 04-21-2011 at 10:19 PM.
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Old 04-21-2011, 11:22 PM   #2  
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Sweetie it will be alright. I know where you're coming from cuz all my life I've felt the same way. Even though you might not want to talk to anyone, sometimes talking it out makes you feel better. And I completely understand where you're coming from when you say about telling your mom. I used to feel the same way and my mom was very un-supportive so I held it all inside and would occasionally log in to a weigh loss support group online to let some frustration out. I just used to feel like the people on the other end didn't care about me either. That's because I was always doing fad diets which I never stuck to. But several months ago I began a healthy lifestyle and lost 30lbs, after searching and re-searching online I found that the people on the other end do care because they either Are or have been in my shoes. So that motivated me. And you shouldn't feel like that, from your stats it sounds like your doing great and more than half way there. You'll come around to looking at yourself in the mirror and wondering who that fox is!!

So you know a little about me, I'm back on my band wagon. I started almost a year ago by changing my eating habits rather than doing a diet. I joined a gym and had great support from a co-worker who is into figure modeling. That's is until the holidays came around. I stopped eating healthy, ended up having my gall bladder removed and as of now I've gained 20 of the 33lbs I had lost. What sucks is that even though I'm still about 13 lbs lighter than I was this time last year, the clothes that used to fit don't anymore and I look way fatter than I ever did with 13 extra lbs. I feel like all the muscle I was building just turned to flab. And worst of all is my only support and believer was so disappointed she no longer helps me with anything, not to mention every1 around me said they knew I'd fail and gain it all back. The punch line was when my mom said it too, so now I'm more determined than anything and all though I know this sounds pathetic I more than anything just want to prove people wrong (but I really need to do it for my own health).

Sorry if I went off ranting, just kind of wanted you to know your not alone. I feel the pain and you should be proud of yourself for all your hard work and your accomplishments.
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Old 04-22-2011, 12:13 AM   #3  
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Hey, you are so not alone. We are all here for you and want to help you. If you feel like you might be depressed, DO talk to your mum, especially if you think you might cry. Crying's great for your body and mind, you release all the crap you've been holding in, and from the sound of it, you've been holding in a lot.

As for the pill, I had the exact same response, which was annoying because my periods were just...**** on a bicycle. I got palpitations, had trouble breathing, lost sensation in one of my arms. Basically would wake up convinced I was having a heart attack. As I have seizures for a couple of weeks I assumed they were a new, weird kind of seizure, but eventually went to the doctor and was taken off the pill with the assurance that I'd never go back on the same offshoot of the pill. They wouldn't put you back on the same one, I'm sure, so I think you will be okay.

@Munchko: That's so horrible and unsupportive of the people you know. You haven't FAILED, anyway. If you had failed you would not be back on the wagon. I believe in you! If you could do it before, you can do it now - and having an operation is a very very good excuse to put on some weight. A lot of people do. So don't be sad or feel guilty, you have no reason to. Your body is your body, and you should change it because YOU want to, not because other people want you to. Keep going! You can DO it! *waves pom poms*
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Old 04-22-2011, 04:16 AM   #4  
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Don't mean to intrude on you ladies but strangely enough that drug Yasmin was on the news here today, nothing good, apparently lots of law suits and debilitating side effects, i would stear clear of it.

Just did a google and there is another story about it here, not sure if you will be able to view it.

http://www.ctv.ca/CTVNews/Health./20...ontrol_100310/

I can't speak to the womanly issues that are bothering you, but i too suffer from depression and low self esteem, i ask myself if i would be happier being the weight i was, the answer is most definately not.

I know i have mistreated my body and for that i am mournful and apologetic, there is nothing i can do about the past, i have loose skin and stretch marks, i'm nothing special to look at, i doubt most everyone is though, all i can do is make myself the best i can now.

Take pride in your accomplishments, i know it's incredibly hard when your mind is in a funk, trust me, don't be so hard on yourself.
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