November Chat
 

Aunty Jam - :hug: I was shocked when I read that your dh quit the job. What is going on now? any other prospects? it is too scary to think of you having to be on your own.

momof4 - I know you're struggling ...well just remember that you have a HUGE load with the 2 new foster kids!! that is amazing that you can do that. that is a huge accomplishment right there.

hope - :wave: and heather :wave: and everyone else :)

i'm feeling better, in the past few days. Been working out every day yet ruining it by eating too much in the afternoon (when at work alone). Ugh!

well have a good day everyone, if possible.

I just don't know what to do... I'm so mad he quit his job, I feel like I've been at my witts end for months. We've been sinking deeper into debt for the whole time he's been unemployeed. I love him but I'm not sure I can do this anymore. Like I mentioned the other problem is that I can't do it on my own either. I just don't make enough :( Even now, we're living rent free. My family owns the house we live in and we haven't paid any rent in almost a year. I really feel we're taking advantage of them and they're so good about it it makes me sick. We've borrowed so much money from my family, his side has none. I just don't know what to do anymore... if I made him leave I would also be kicking out his daughter. Do I want to do this? Not really, I love him/them. But I just can't do this anymore.

He did have an interview last week that went really well but he's had a ton of interviews that we thought went well so that's not saying much.

I haven't been excersizing either so I know how you feel... I'm slipping back into old habbits and gaining weight. I feel so sick about that.

I'm also so stressed thinking about school. Nothing will/can happen for almost another year... but I'm so unresolved. I've worked hard to get to where I am but what's the use of working my a$$ off if I don't like where it's gotten me?????????????? On the other hand with how far into debt we are (it'll take more then a year to pay it off) what the **** am I thinking going to school for 3 years?!??!?!?!?!?!?! I can't freaking do that.

And now that I've been thinking about it I am really really ticked he quit his freaking job.

I have like a pain/ache on my left side. When I lay down n push on it it hurts thru to the back...i dont know what it is kinda feels like my kidney when I dont drink enough water...

I really really hate myself because of what I eat!! How do you stop the over eating..its just gotten bad lately...maybe its a pre period thing but like I am not even hungry just want to eat the food because its good...I HATE IT! I get a plan in my head and get my self settled I am going to DO THIS...then at the first thought of good food I totally forget my plan. LIKE seriously I was at the grocery store AFTER supper last week and I walked thru the frozen food section and was like hmm that looks good and that looks good...well then I went to mcdonalds and got fries then to taco bell and got a chalupa...AFTER SUPPER...so NO HUNGER...There HAS to be something WRONG. I am addicted to food...My Addiction overtakes what I really want. I desperately need something to change I cannot go on like this! :(

OMG! I go away and everything falls to **** around here! :) Seriously! You guys are killing me! I hate hearing that everyone is having so many problems. Serveral things...VermontMom...sooo sorry about your bike!! You grieve as long as you need to and don't let anyone make you feel wrong for doing it! Aunty! Ugh! I don't have any great words of wisdom but I am really sorry that you are in such a stick spot! Mom! Glad to see you back here! And...as always I don't know how you make it through your days at all! I would just snap I think!

Well! We have completed our move...now in California....love our new house...the drivers here are a little faster and more impatient than we are used to so that is an adjustment. We are still putting things away, I have started school again and it is kicking my ***...I was grounded off exercise for almost 5 months and put on the weight that goes with it. Also, we were in transit for quite awhile and the eating was pretty poor on top of that. But several things have come together to ease that situation. My knee is letting me get back on the elliptical again! Yay! I did 40 mins yesterday and a 3 mile walk to the store and back as well. I think I am going to show a loss this week so I can start getting myself back. Leading up to Halloween was a bit of a bust, we bought candy early (mistake) and I have been eating it...(another mistake) but, since we didn't get any Trick or Treaters...(AAARGH!!!) I really haven't been tempted by what is left in the bowl. (I hate candy corn luckily) I read something in one of my latest exercise magazines and it seems to be helping... It said not to eat candy/sugar before 4 pm...mainly because eating sugar early in the day makes you crave it all day. Now, my trouble times are during the day...especially when I am by myself...nighttime is usually not much of an issue for me, I go to bed really early because I get up early... So, I have been trying that...and just the thought that I am simply waiting until after 4 and not trying to swear off of it entirely makes it less of a forbidden thing...it is a mind game but one that seems to be working at least for now. I am exercising everyday again and that is all part of it as well. I feel better when I work out and it is easier not eat poorly. Also, meditation is helping...slow breathing exercises to handle, anger, stress, whatever emotion comes up is working (again, at least for now) Hopefully this is the beginning of the turn of the tide to take me back into the jeans in my closet!!! :) One more thing...being back in a forest setting...and cool weather greatly helps... I have always been somewhat backwards...cold weather makes me more happy and active not depressed and lethargic so I am taking full advantage of that as well!

Glad to be back Chickies!!! I will be around much more often now!! :)

Everything is such a viscous cycle...If I excercise then I cant stand to eat yucky food I crave just veggies...but then I think whats the point in excercising when I eat crap all day every day....It is such a mental game and right now I am losing. I mean who doesnt want to change their life who doesnt want to be better....but y cant i?? I so desperately want to just clean the junk food out of my kids life now so they wont have these awful eating habits..but its hard and expensive to make competely healthy meals & snacks for 8 people....Which I had money to hire a cook and have a garden!!
Well heck why Im wishing...why not throw in a nanny and a housekeeper...LOL...No no I got all these jobs are mine!!
Ok back to the real world...LOL
I hate I cant get my act together and be super model mom....*sigh*

Ravengirl - welcome back!!! lol yes we all fell apart because you weren't here with us :D:D:D I'm glad you are happy in your new digs and climate. Yay that your knee is better!! and yay to working out alot and your meditation. you are a good role model for us! :cool:

momof4, :hug: just thinking about having to keep house for 8 people would make me :fr: and go :dance: off to the loony bin. You WILL find the strength to commit to what you want. I am not one to talk because I'm not where i want to be either but I'm fighting for it :devil: Even if you manage some exercise or turn down one treat, that is a victory! we have faith in you .

Hey Aunty Jam :hug: and hope :hug:

Thought I was feeling better...well I guess I was, now I'm not. Yesterday, I could not think of many reasons why I would want to see the next day come. I am NOT suicidal, just very very apathetic. This is not a good way to live..I am just hoping it passes soon.

DH is wrapped up in his own problems and im sure he thinks I'm not being supporitve because I'm so blah. Well too bad, I count too! This is just a sucky time.

Good Morning Chickies! Weigh in today! One pound loss! Woo hoo! I will take it! And actually it wavered from 178.5 to 179 so I think I may have lost a bit more than a pound actually. It will catch up next week. Now small losses like that have gotten me frustrated in the past but I am not letting it do that to me anymore...ANY loss is a victory and something to be celebrated! Also, I have added one more thing to my arsenal! The cooler weather makes this possible as well...I am drinking green tea and herbal tea all day long... Licorice spice tea helps with cravings and so does the cinnamon spice...it helps that I can drink tea without sugar or anything in it.
Wish me luck...I am hoping to take my Lesson 3 quiz today and do better than the last quiz...ugh...

I leave you with this Girlies... I saw the most beautiful sunrise yesterday...golden fingers over the tops of my wall of trees... I saw ravens sweeping overhead, deer munching in our driveway, and turkeys wandering past our back window. Take a deep breath...find something...anything...that makes you feel happy or grateful and just be in that moment...that one moment can make all the difference...

Hugs to you all!!!

~Raven~

Raven contgrats on your loss!!! way to go!!!

Sorry I have not posted in awhile but I have been super busy. I have had a good week. I joined weight watchers on tuesay and i have exercised wednesday and thursday. I am excited about loosing weight but do have a lot of anxiety about the holidays and eating.

Holly- i am so sorry you are having such a hard time and are not getting support from your DH. Please just remember you are a healthy beautiful woman and try to feel blessed that God gave you another day. I have been in your situation and know the feelings of doom. I take a lot of comfort from my kids and they are usually the reason i get out of bed every single day. Maybe you could think about the new motorcylce you are going to get and how great it will be when you can ride again.

Mommyof4- everyday is a struggle for us all. It is hard to find the bliss in being a mom sometimes. I have 6 kids Im responsible for and I work full time. i think the key is organization and balance. Try not to focus on the small things look at the bigger picture. You have a bad eating day the next day just try to do better. Try to keep exercising and look at some websites for inexpensive healthy snacks. I have seen some for trail mix and stuff which makes large quanities and would last a couple of days.

Hope everyone has a good weekend.

amym

Ravengirl - what a beautiful sunrise you described!! and congrats on your loss :) and I will keep in mind what you said...

hi amym!!! I am a dunce for not waving to you above so here is a bigger hi :hug: congrats on the step of joining WW and that you are psyched to get healthier :carrot: We shall have to all gang together to work against gaining during the holidays...and I will also keep in mind what you said too :) The insurance adjuster finally made some more contact with me so there is the hope of a settlement sometime soon (its been almost a month)

maybe I shouldn't post when I feel so awful? because usually its the next day that I don't feel quite so bad. I don't want to be a downer or worry anyone. But I feel better even right this minute.

re time change - I dn't want it to be dark by 5 pm, yet I am looking forward to it at least being a little light at 6:30 am.

good morning chicks...this is my fourth morning of using my Happy Light, I hope it is helping, maybe it is :) I had to plug it in here, where I sit and use my laptop, otherwise I just kept forgetting it. But I"m being cautious in saying ' I feel better' because sometimes it seems once I say that, I start slipping again, ugh.

Hi AuntyJam, momof4, hopeforme, amym, Ravengirl :)

Silly crazy meds (or lack of thereof) keeping me up at obscene hours of the night! I used to think the zoloft was making it hard for me to get to sleep, but it seems now on the days when I skip a day I can't get to sleep at all, even if I'm exhausted, in pain, and would just generally be better off deep, deep asleep.

And of course I just figured out that the days I've missed the zoloft are days I've spent out with friends (a slightly rare occurrence for me), so now I'm not even sure if it's the meds fault, or me coming off of a "yay i actually have friends that want to spend time with me" high. Ugh. I wish I could just know what's going on instead of having to figure it all out. I'd make life soooo much easier.

Speaking of life being easier - I'd love to be able to kick all the self-sabotaging habbits I picked up before I started taking the zoloft (which was many a month ago now) but it's just so much easier lying in bed bumming around on the computer all day avoiding the world. Soooooo much easier.

So yes, Hi guys! :D This is my introduction/rant of the day/general saying things post....thingy. Im tired and in pain and oh-so-hungover, and definately not in the right state of mind to be saying anything intelligent, but at least now I have a deeper understanding as to why cheap tequila is so cheap.

yay for learning!

(@__________________@ oh god just make the painy-sick-hurt just go away!)

Hi girls,

No time for personals. I am reading but haven't had time or the energy to post. I was off yesterday and man it flew by. I went shopping and got a few sweaters. I was productive but kind of depressing. I'm looking larger and larger and was up a couple of lbs this morning. I really need to buckle down or I will end up putting all this weight back on.

Gotta get to work. TTYL

Good morning Everybody! It is a dark rainy day in the forest! :) I know, for most of you that would be a bad thing but for the weirdo that is me I am eating it up! (so to speak...hehehe) The only problem is DH has come down with something and has been miserable for the last two days. I just got back from a quick run to the grocery store to pick up some more lozenges and various things to try to tempt him to eat. I hope he will drink the tea..please let him drink the tea!

I have been exercising every day...I can't remember how many days straight even. I am considering taking the day off...I might not though...we will see. The grand experiment of no goodies before 4 pm is continuing...and working...tea seems to short circuit the munchies/craving cycle. I have even used it for anxiety/anger with great success. Boy, this is a lot harder than it used to be though, the weight used to come off much faster...now I have to wait a week to see any movement...that is a part of what has been tripping me up I think, I would have a great day or two and in the past that would have been enough to see movement on the scale but now...so much longer...ahh well...now that I know for sure it isn't totally in vain I know that I can do this!

I feel like I am finally getting myself back...even with areas of the house still in shambles and so much to finish. (I can't even do it on my own because DH would just go behind me and do it 10 times better and it would have to be re done) it just doesn't matter to me...I am so happy here...aside from some problems with medical care issues (don't want to go there this morning...) I can concentrate on my exercise and meditation..my school...(which I got a 100 on my last lesson!) and breathe the peace for awhile... I know I must sound like Pollyanna to all of you right now...but I figure you guys could all use a cheerleader anyways! :)

Holly! Wonderful that the Happy Light is making you feel better!
Mom! Where are you Hon? How you doing????
Hope! Fly by! Swoosh!! :) Miss ya Girlie!
Amy! Nice to meet ya! Hope to see much more of you around!
Summer! (summer is traditionally my least favorite time of the year...but I will not hold that against ya! heheheh And the fact that your avatar looks like a beach in Hawaii...well I won't hold that against ya either! :) (I am thrilled my time in Hawaii is over...I can breathe again...) Take good care of yourself!

I held a puppy yesterday...now you may remember how much I love dogs..and the conspiring of the universe to prevent me from having my own...but I held one in my arms for a few mins...I felt it's little warm body snuggle into mine and it's cold wet nose against my neck and I just took that moment...let it fill me with the happiness that it brought me...and when I had to hand it back, I let it go...but the warmth it brought me still lingered. Seize every beautiful moment you can and don't let the movement of time...the passing of it or the change...rob you of that warmth...that is the lesson I am trying to take to heart. Make yourself fearless!

~raven~

:wave:

Good Monday morning to you all...

The light in the morning definately helps me to get motivated. i hope it is helping you all too. Really busy weekend, my middle son tured 11 yesterday, so between cleaning and baking i did not have time to worry or be anxious. I did not eat any cake which is a huge deal for me. I made a Weight watcher keylime pie for myself and my mom and we both ate that. It was really good and super easy to make. I did have to make a huge effort not to sample what I was cooking. So I have some hope for thanksgiving and christmas now, even if I have to make separate things for me to eat I am going to do it.

Holly- I think you should always post when you are down, I think that is what we are all here for is to listen, offer comfort and advice. Good news about the insurance..

Raven- great job on the exercise and feeling like yourself again!!!

Summershine- When I first started taking zoloft I could not sleep but it is much better now. I also take xanex sometimes is the afternoon and evenings and that helps a lot too. Hope you figure it out soon..

Amy

I can't remember what Charles Shultz said about puppies... something like "Happiness is a warm puppy". Either way I totally agree... I wish you were near me Raven... I'd let you snuggle mine, even if they're not puppies they're still awfully cute :)

I'm doing pretty good... still really torn about school. I'm just going crazy over money and the fact that we don't have nearly enough for anything. I make sure I wake hubby up every morning before I leave for work. If I don't get to sleep in neither does he. I think my car is about to die... I had a flat tire yesterday, there's no hole so it must be a slow leak. I feel horrible I haven't been to see my Dad :( and I haven't taken the pups to the off leash area. But my old dog is really old and she can't do much anymore... so I tend not to take the young one since I don't like leaving the old one alone. It's even tougher now with the time change! I like my extra hour of light in the evening.. not the morning :( Oh wow.. look at me rant. ZIP. No point... I'm doing fairly well and if I start thinking about all of this it will just pull me down.

Mom - do you get any me time at all?

Vermont - you are absolutely right... you DO matter! Phooey on him.

Hope - you and me both!!! Lets get our butts in gear shall we?

:wave: Leenie :)

Hi Summershine, Raven, Amym.. and everyone else... I hope I didn't miss anyone but if I did it wasn't on purpose!

Just popping to say Hi!!
and yes I'm still alive!
Just scanning things are looking down for so many. Its a tough time of the year. Hang tight all, in two months the days get longer again! Unless you are down under.
I'll try and catch up later.
((hugs))
K

*****BUDDLY!!!!**** :wave: so good to know youre still around!!

Aunty Jam - lol @ waking DH up :devil: sorry you feel bad at not seeing your Dad and about the doggies run and the money and school thing :hug:

amym - not eating any birthday cake is a huge thing!

summershine - OMG. Cheap tequila will get you SO sick (I'm preaching to the choir, right) One word - Souza :cool:

Ravengirl - aw, I wish you could have a puppy, sure sounds like you want one :) and thanks for being our cheerleader!

Hi Leenie :wave:

Hey hope :hug: are you enjoying the new job? are you still working like 2 jobs? I will try to do better with eating if I know you are too :devil:

Hi momof4!

Still feeling better (using my Happy Light right now) but still haven't heard from insurance company. But I think I'm over my mourning period for my beautiful bike. I can think of it wihtout crying now, that's good .

Hi everyone!!
Trying to catch up here. I'm sorry almost everyone is going through such a rough time right now. I'm afraid I won't be much of a change. I've been riding the same roller coaster. And like Aunty Jam, I plugged in my happy light and the silly thing wouldn't turn on. I think its the cord, but the company website is less than useful.

Vermont- Loved the pic of you on your bike, remember all the good rides the two of you had. Are you still having to drive your hubby to work everyday? I sure couldn't imagine having to drive that much on a daily basis.

Hope how are you enjoying your new job? or are you to exhausted to know :) How long will you be working two jobs? Remember to take some time for you.

Raven I'm so glad you are getting settled and are loving your new environment.

mom I'm so glad you are posting again. When I dropped out of sight was about the same time you announced you were taking a break. I don't know how you manage all the extra activities outside of the home, God bless.

aunty jam sorry your hubby's job didn't work out I sure hope something comes of the other one.

summershine and amym- hi there!! summershine I sure can relate to the staying in bed and avoiding life statement.

A big Hello to everyone else!!

I haven't been up to anything to interesting. Its really weird not having anyone in school, I'm finding trying to get out for walks very challenging. I have been working two or three days a week instead of my normal one. Hubby has been gone with work only making it home one day a week and yet I still feel like we are broke so I'm scared to spend, really stupid as he earns enough.
I started the self esteem group my counselor enrolled me in. Its hard.
I go in for surgery on my throat on Friday. I'm a little nervous about that. The operations is only about 30 min. and I have to stay the one night. I have to start making the popsicles, ice cubes and jello soon.

I better go as I have to run into town. I was hoping the frost would lift but it isn't. DDC has to practice her driving :dizzy: lets hope the roads are totally frost free!!

Take care everyone.
K

Hi everyone, I think I fit in here quite well, even if I say so myself.
Have been a depressive for many a year and after some counselling several years ago I have at last managed to understand to some degree how to control it.
This time of the year, as some have already said, I find very difficult with the darker evenings and the cold. Just had a bit of a quite bad week - one of those where nothing went right - and ended up having a bit of a binge. Result being that I put on 2lb this week!!
However, now feeling much better and had a bit of a fasting day in comparison so hope that will have a good result.
Looking forward to my visit to Eire to see my daughter and her family at xmas - only 6 weeks to go!
All the very best to everyone and keep up the good work.

pleased to meet you!
 

Hello- I'm new and really happy to find a place to talk. My family and my story is soooo long to tell, but I'm looking forward to a place to share without judgement over diagnoses, medication, etc. We are a family of 4 and we are currently all "in treatment". This is a good thing, I feel like we're stronger and closer than ever. In my immediate family we primarily struggle with anxiety, depression and ADHD.

My mom had life-long health problems and depression (sometimes it was hard to tell which came first), while my dad was in and out of psychiatric hospitals and diagnosed with schizo-affective disorder. I was raised by my mom and awesome grandma so was protected from the extremes of my dad's world.

About 3 years ago, my anxiety, anger and self-loathing became unbearable and I finally found a dr and therapist that have been just great! While I feel healthier and happier, I'm also 45 pounds heavier than my former "heaviest weight ever :?:

Recently, my husband started losing serious weight so we're all working together for healthier living. While I feel like we are on the right track, my 17 yr old daughter is very heavy and is putting on more weight. She has always been heavier, but has also been pretty active (and was growing) so didn't seem to be as serious a problem. Now, she is driving and has a job so she is making more of her own decisions (and meals). She gained 20 lbs just since the summer!!

I really worry about her. She has ADHD and food seems to be a "stimulant" for her as it is for many women with ADHD. She becomes frustrated very easily so tends to take the "easiest" path (fast food, junk food, doesn't want to count calories, etc). In addition, I'm pretty sure that the medications she takes for anxiety and migraines makes weight loss very difficult!

Well, That's enough for now...
Thanks for creating this forum:smug:

I had my first weigh in last night and I lost 3.8 pounds. I have a goal to loose 10 pounds by Christmas so I think that is a realistic goal. I have not been taking my xanex and trying to deal with my anxiety myself but today I am going to refill my prescription. LAst night everything was on my nerves, I waws overwhelmed and everything seemed so loud and TOM paid me a suprise 5 day early visit. so needless to say I am on my emotional rollacoaster. I cried on my way to work over a bill board. Good news is I have only cried once this month and that was over Toy Story 3.

amym

Hi Everyone.... Welcome emaline29 and lillydi, glad you found us.

Buddly - What kind of light do you have? I have a phillips and their website is terrible! I emailed them and they came back with an email address that doesn't work! So I sent my email off to the original address and still haven't gotten a response. Are you having your tonsils removed? Good luck!

I've been really preocupied thinking about school lately... I'm worried about going back, being so old and having to compete against younger people for jobs when I get out. Also, will I get a job that pays what I need? Can I get better pay based on experience (even if it's a different field) because I'm older or will I get entry level pay??? How the heck can we survive on only 1 income for 3 years? That's assuming hubby even gets a job, he is really ticking me off. I don't understand how he can NOT have a freaking job after over a year and a half. And when I finish we'll be even farther into debt. If I did go to school I'll be almost 40 by the time I'm done!!! What the heck am I thinking??? But then again......... I've been looking at jobs online because I'm not happy where I am... and everything I'm qualified for is a job I don't want!!!!!! I've worked my arse off to get to where I am with this company, but I got to thinking... what's the point of working your arse off if you don't like where it gets you??? Really?

That's my rant for today. Those are the things racing through my mind at present. I change my mind about 30 times a day. I can rationalize almost anything depending on the mood I'm in at the moment. I'm just so confused.

Lets just start with I hate myself or hate how I am......I hate everything. It makes it worse when I see other moms with several kids like me and they have it together...WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? Is my life going to pass me by before I get it together??? honestly I think being fat really makes depression worse at times....
I have plans in my head how I am going to do this and that...decorate the house, do extra stuff with kids, do every inch of their school with no short cuts, excercise, eat right....what do I do sit on my butt and be mean and nasty to the kids all day long do just the basics in their schooling, cant even keep the house clean and organized let alone decorate....I hate how I am....

I had most of the day out Monday my husband left me out..and tom is due today actually so I am sure most of this has to deal with tom. How do you aviod such violent mood swings during and before tom? How do I keep patient I can if I chose to...

Really my problem would be solved if I stayed up 24/7 and cleaned the house once good thru and then became a drill sargent? I have these great charts for the kids but never remember to start them or stick with them..I like need some one here to tell me play by play every day. My husband killed it in the house monday and then it makes me look like I am a failure at home..

Ok you know what who cares!!! I got it out hopefully that helps but Im sure everyones sick of hearing complaing and sniffling from me..I chose to have kids I chose to get married I chose to gain weight so now I have to lay in the bed i made! Right? RIGHT!!

[QUOTE=momof4under5;3562369]Lets just start with I hate myself or hate how I am......I hate everything. It makes it worse when I see other moms with several kids like me and they have it together...WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? Is my life going to pass me by before I get it together??? honestly I think being fat really makes depression worse at times....
I have plans in my head how I am going to do this and that...decorate the house, do extra stuff with kids, do every inch of their school with no short cuts, excercise, eat right....what do I do sit on my butt and be mean and nasty to the kids all day long do just the basics in their schooling, cant even keep the house clean and organized let alone decorate....I hate how I am.... (Quote)

Hi momof4, Oooh! You sound so much how I used to be. I had 3 under 3yrs old so have a pretty good idea of what you are feeling like. First of all don't be so hard on yourself, just getting thro' each day is a major hurdle and you know they won't be little for long even tho' it does seem an eternity at the mo'. Perhaps setting a goal to do just one "extra" thing each week will help you to feel that you are getting somewhere. As for the being fat bit, take time to eat a bit more healthily and that in itself will help the mood swings.
Your opinion about the other moms may well be totally off kilter - how do you know how "together" they are? It is more than likely that each one of them has their own private **** going on.

Hope you soon feel a bit better.

momof4 - :hug: I am also sure that any 'together'-looking mom has their own treasure trove of wishes and wants! please don't hate on your cute self!!

hi emmaline and lillydi! :welcome:

AuntyJam - any of us would also be :dizzy::dizzy::dizzy: at the worry of debt, income, possible schooling...all big scary things. Here's to hoping things smooth out as soon as possible!

buddly - that is kewl that you are starting a self esteem group, I hope it is good for you :) good luck with the surgery on friday, what is it for? I also strongly suggest doing ANYTHING ahead of time to make things nicer, more comfy for yourself once you're recovering.

and sorry for those whose Happy Lights aren't working, i really think mine is helping me alot now.

In complete agreement with emmaline and vermontmom re momof4! I used to feel and think like that! One thing that I learned that really helped was this: imagine that your best friend is feeling and saying these things to you- what would you say to her? Now say it to yourself! You probably wouldn't tell a tired, sad friend to get it together...Any way, this strategy helped me to be kinder to myself, just like I would to a friend:smug:

And...auntyJam... I'm the last person to comment on debt, but returning to school was great for me. I met people and learned new skills that led to a job I am happier with. I'd rather be in debt but happier on a daily basis. Good luck!

Hi everybody,

Mom, I agree with everybody above. Having said that I have to actively fight self hatred regardless of what's going on in my life. Of course stress makes it worse, like having a billion kids. :) I can't keep my house clean and I only have 2 small dogs.

Amy, way to go! congrats! Sounds like you are on track.

Aunty, I think about the same things over and over. Before I got this job I was going to go back to school next year for 2 years. I'm in debt too and was stressed about the whole thing. I still may apply next year just to see if would get in. I also feel like our financial future is up to me. DF makes good money but he is a spender and saving is not a priority.

Work is getting better. I'm learning more but it's stressful not knowing what I'm doing yet. I worked out monday and it really helped. I was supposed to tonight since I wasn't working but it doesn't look promising at this point. I've got to be at both jobs tomorrow so no time then. I just can't wait till the week of Thanksgiving b/c I'm off from both jobs. It will be like Christmas. :cloud9:

I just can't help but thinking that with my husband out of work it's all up to me... right? I don't know what to do... It's getting to the point where I can't live with him or without him. I can't believe he doesn't have a freaking job. Add to all the stress the fact that his daughter lives with us. She's a good kid but it's still stressful. I can't ask him to leave without "asking" her to leave also. But its a moot point because I love him and I can't survive without him. It's just that some days I can't believe I'm still with him.

Another blow came yesterday... he was slack on payig his child support through the official channels for several years. His kid didn't want for anything but it wasn't done through the right channels. Once just after we were married they froze oru accounts... all of them. We had no access to any of the money. It happened again yesterday. I leave for a business trip to Houston on sunday and I have no access to my bank account. our visa is over the limit so the only choice I had was to put my company money in the bank and spend with my debit card as need be. now I can't even do that. I am SO stressed about this. There is no way I'm walking around Houston with 2 freaking grand cash in my pocket! And of course none of the government offices are open today... so if he can't get it sorted out on Friday I dont' kwno what the **** is going to happen. Add to this that I actually got a small bonus cheque from work so we had a bit more then usual in the bank. Now I might have to spend company money on things that I needed before my trip. I guess I just won't eat while I'm in houston.

Gaaaaah I am stressed. Sorry.

GAAAAA is right, Aunty Jam!! that is a horrendous situation :?:

Hi everyone!:wave:

Auntyjam, holly cow! what a terrible situation. I sure hope your hubby gets it straightened out. My light is an apollo golite, which is now phillips and their site is totally useless.

And Mom, there is nothing wrong with you!! I don't know how you manage to do all that you do do.

I'm getting my tonsils out as well as my uvula and soft palette removed. Hopefully it will help deal with the obstructive sleep apnea.

It snowed here a bit today. In town it wasn't sticking but the ground is white where we live. As long as it doesn't freeze tonight it will be fine. DdB has to be at work for 6am and I have to be at the hospital for 7:45am and I really don't want to have to deal with ice.

I better go. Take care everyone and I hope things get better.:grouphug:
K

That sounds like a lot of surgery Buddly... I'll keep my fingers crossed that it goes well and helps you out. I'll let you know if I hear anything back from philips via email... it's not looking good so far.

Accounts won't be unfrozen until tuesday at the very earliest... I had to go to the bank and get a bunch of travelers cheques so that's an additional cost on company money that I'll have to absorb. At least I'm not carting around large amounts of cash. I just about hyper-ventilated when he told me.

So I leave veryveryvery early Sunday morning... I probably won't be around much next week. At least Houston gets sun, although it's supposed to rain the first few days I'm there.

buddly - that sounds like alot of surgery! best wishes for that :hug:

Aunty Jam - wishing you a good trip, and i hope its warm and sunny for you!

hi to everyone else :wave:

aunt jam-wow that is extremely stressful!!

Buddly-hope the surgery works and fixes the problems esp since its SOOOO much!!

To everyone else thanks for your comments I haven't been on since I wrote the post and its been like this all week. So when I came on and read the posts I just sat here an bawled. I just want to get my life together but mentally I cant. my sis in law was talking to me today and was like I just think you have to much going on its alot. To me in my head I can plan everything out and it fits but when it comes to executing that plan i FAIL. Same as in my weight loss journey. I have the perfect plan of how to do it and the motivation yet when it comes down to it I fail...I can feel myself getting to the breaking point of going a-wall...LOL Just fast for 40 days don't eat...be a drill Sargent with the kids run it like a boot camp to get everyone in shape. I need a home makeover (not the decorating kind...the discipline of myself and my house kind).
Like while I was playing the piano two boys took the egg carton out of the trash and crushed the shells all over my floor, then the others were running like idiots just because they thought I wasn't paying attention.

Honestly I have a super great plan and schedule and IT WILL WORK but I DON'T FOLLOW THRU with it!! Why doesn't that part of my brain work, what vitamin or whatever am I missing??

Ok well i need to take care of kids
I did make everybody salads for lunch!! I eat crappy because I dont want to take the time to find something healthy or cook something healthy...sigh

Again thanks girls!!

Hi luvs!

(new girl)

I hope everyone's doing better/okay!

I'm getting really high anxiety whenever I excessive, it was better before but got worse again after bf and I broke up. It really makes me not want to do it but I to have to reach my goal. Which is already screwed up cuz I took a week off so I could deal with the break up. I only went over 1 day and stayed mostly on my diet for the rest, just didn't excessive. That's something right?

Just a quick hello. I'm sad the weekend is over. I did work today but at my part-time job and that doesn't stress me out since I know what I'm doing. One more week though and I'm off for a whole week. I could cry I'm so excited. Say a prayer for me that I do well this week in training and I can go out on my own. I need to look independent and more importantly not stupid. Gotta get to bed.

Hi chicks :) first, :welcome to Miss Edith! This place REALLY helps me :hug:

hope - here's to hanging in there one more week, soaking up the training, so it will be like "she's new? but she's seems to know how to do everything!" :D and hang in there til your week off!!

momof4 - salads for everyone's lunch was great! :)

Aunty Jam - how is Houston? I would freak I think if I had to navigate a huge city.

buddly - when is your surgery?

hi amym, how are things with you :)

and hi emaline and lillyd :wave:

I'm still not eating right, but working out every day. In summer, I ate right but only worked out 2 or 3 x a week. Why can't i get it together, lol.

Yesterday I volunteered to hlep show little kids to decorate gingerbread men (and ladies). I had to take 3 hours off work, and so my paycheck will be 3 hours less next week. I told the lady, when she first asked me, that I probably could, but I had to take off from work...and she didn't respond. Do people not care, or they just don't listen? I gotta stop volunteering, if all it makes me feel is mad :devil:

Forgive me for not addressing everyone but I only have a few minutes... I don't know what to do... everything at home is going wrong. Power is being cut off friday, heat next week, cell phones are already cut off. Bank account is still locked down not that there's enough in it to pay off any of those. Had a break so hubby called the 1800 number of the hotel and we got in a huge fight. He defended his quitting of his last job and I replied "So when we're sitting in the dark with no heat we'll think of that and know you were right......." He says I'll talk to you later and hangs up. Now I'm supposed to meet everyone downstairs for dinner and I just feel like crawling into a ball and crying. I haen't had a raise in 3 years and I can't keep the bitterness from coming out anymore. We're going to be with my boss and our next boss and all the other managers... i've got to not say something some how. I used to drowned myself in wine then have emotional outbursts.... this is NOT tghe time for that but theres oging to be ample booze.... :( there always is... these guys drink like fish... what the **** am I going to do. Oh, that's another thing... all of my fish are going to die when the power goes out. How nice. I am going to cry.

Oh Aunty Jam...:( :( :( that is SO terrible, I am thinking of you and sending you strength to get through this night!!!

and this is not helpful nor constructive but I want to kick someone in the butt for this situation :mad: