[cherylmn]

For those of you who deal with this (and I imagine most of us posting to this forum do?), what tips & tricks have you learned to quite the inner critic? So far, exercise is the only thing that helps me. However, as a working mom with two young kids & DH and I both travel for work, my time is limited (actually, when I'm traveling I have MORE "me time" than at home, come to think of it!).

I'm curious what others are doing in an attempt to put an end to the constant negative nelly living in my head. Some days I feel like I can hardly get out of bed (most days latey, actually).

Thanks for your thoughts on this.

(As an aside, I had started to see a therapist about a year ago before I started my weight loss journey. Unfortunately, after 3 of the most difficult sessions I could imagine, she informed me that she was moving to another state. She did recommend someone else, but I simply couldn't bare the idea of starting all over & opening up what was very raw at the time, so I threw myself into my weight loss efforts. Now that I'm in maintenance, I'm finding that I still need to deal with the junk that was there before - I know, shocking. Ha! I took the 1st step today & left a message for the psychiatrist who had been recommended to me before. So, long-winded way of telling you that I will be getting some help.)

[kaplods]

Positive self-talk. I argue with myself all of the time.

For me, humor works. I see my negative self as a cranky toddler, and my positve self as a kind, patient, teacher/babysitter/parent...

For example, when I was (who am I kidding, when I AM) afraid of getting out and on my bicycle because I think everyone in the neighborhood is going to come out of their appartments and stare and laugh at the hippo on a bicycle the conversation goes like this

Inner Brat: "Everyone is going to be looking at me. What if they laugh?"

Inner Mary Poppins: "Do you really think people are that interested in you? Don't you think they have better things to do than stare at you?"

Inner Brat: "But what if they do?"

Inner Mary Poppins: "Well you do look kind of funny on the bicycle, maybe you should laugh too."

Inner Brat: "You're mean."

Inner Mary Poppins: "No. Laughing is fun. Laughter won't kill you, laugh back. It really is funny. It's ok to be funny and silly. If people smile or laugh, smile and laugh back."

Inner Brat: "What if they call me names or yell mean stuff?"

Inner Mary Poppens: "Then laugh at them for being stupid - they're not very smart or nice if they think being mean is fun. Bullies are funny because they're stupid."

Inner Brat:" Yeah bullies are stupid."

____________________________


I'm not saying it's easy or it always works, but it works well for me. I've always been fairly confident because I'm pretty good at the inner pep talk, but sometimes it does get a little crowded and noisy in my head, because it's not always a dialogue. I joke to friends and family that the only difference between me and someone with multiple personality disorder is that all my personalities know each other, have the same memories and all are named Colleen.

For me, an antidepressant helped tremendously, even though I didn't consider myself depressed (and with a masters' degree in psychology, I thought I would be able to recognize clinical depression in myself. Maybe I wasn't, or maybe I just didn't recognize it in myself). I was prescribed the antidepressant to improve my sleep. It's a lower dose than usually prescribed for depression, but I still can't believe how much difference it made. Maybe it's easier to face the day because I'm less depressed, or maybe it's easier to face the day because I'm fully rested and not exhausted (I didn't know I had sleep problems, because I didn't have any problem falling asleep, I just woke during the night a lot of times. I'd get right back to sleep, but I wasn't spending enough time in deep, restorative sleep, but I didn't know that until I had a sleep study done).

[shcirerf]

I'm not normal yet, but it I've had some close calls! LOL

I have made a commitment, and I'm keeping it, to look at myself once a day in the mirror and tell myself, "I love You"

A small thing, but it seems to be helping, I even parade queen waved at myself yesterday!

[beautiful days]

I talk crap to myself all the time. But I also have nephews and nieces and I think to myself, what would they think of me if they knew what I told myself everyday. I'd also ask myself if I'd like if my mom, aunt, niece, best friend talked to their self like that. You are a valuable lovable person! Don't put yourself down so much.

[AZ Sunrises]

I try to not let myself kick my own butt unless I'm exercising. For some reason, the days that I let myself have the inner monologue about being worthless are the days I sweat the hardest. There's something cleansing about it, and I feel better when I let go and get it out of my system. (It's healthier than picking myself apart about everything, I think.)

[NurseSara]

How I've been able to gain the upper hand on my inner critic is by focusing on every good or successful thing I do no matter how small or insignificant I may feel it is. For example, if I feel like crap in the morning, and I really don't want to get up, but I do anyway. I say, "Way to go, Sara!" Or even if I made a list of ten things I needed to get done that day and I only did two. I am proud of myself for those two things I did get done. Every time I tell myself I did a good job it builds me up a little more.

You have to catch yourself when you're thinking a negative thought and replace it with a positive one. It's hard, but it works.

[firefoxsilver9]

i deal with negative self talk by challenging that thought or opinion.

I suffer with social anxiety and for some reason i always think that strangers are talking negatively about me whenever i go out in public. I challenge that belief by saying "OK, so what if they are talking about you, which 95% of the time they are probably not. They are people you don't know and you will probably never see again. Sticks and stones."