Good Afternoon Ladies.

I figured since it was mentioned I would start July's Chick Chat.

Venting again. I can't wait for the 4th to be over.

I think I said it last night but I'm on bad day #2. This time for a whole different reason.
I think I only had about 2 hours of sleep last night. I woke up at 4am completely awake and started cleaning. I've been on the run since 7am and just got home. My best friend doesn't have a car at the moment so I've been bringing her to work and the picking her up at night. I've been driving her every where today and now I am ready to collapse.

Then I had to deal with the guy I am seeing. He's my ex and we're trying to work things out. Right now he is living with me because he got evicted from his apartment. He called me a little while ago and was complaining about everything. I'm going to the fireworks with my son tonight and don't know what time I'll be home. He's upset about that. Then I made plans for tomorrow and he got mad today. He was surpose to work and go spend the afternoon with his son at his son's grandmothers house. Now he doesn't have to work and his son's mother said she doesn't want him there. So he's going to be home alone for the 4th. He mad me feel like crap for making plans tomorrow. I am so pissed off at him. We are not going out. He was never like this when we were going out. I don't know what his problem is now but he is being possessive and controlling and I'm tired of dealing with it.

My mom is doing better. I could tell this morning that he meds had kicked in.

I am normally a patient person and can deal with almost anything. But the last few days I've had it with everything and can't deal with anything.

Leenie ~ Thanks. Its funny how kids are these days. The act like grown ups and always seem to figure things out fast.

Hope ~ I've been playing the role of mom for my mother for years now. When things are bad her boyfriend comes to me and I have to deal with it.

Heather ~ I'm glad your home and ok.

I finally got a chance to eat today. The bad part is I was so hungry I had a Weight Watchers Smart One meal and ended up eating both serving in the box. The only good thing was that it was only 400 calories so I've had about 600 totally counting my coffee

I hope everyone has a Happy 4th. I'm going to go to the cemetary which I'm not sure I can handle but it is his birthday and I want to at least try to visit him. Then I am going to a festival after.

Purefire =^.~=

Thanks for starting up July's thread... I forgot we were in July haaaaaaaaa.

Don't blame you for not putting up with some one who's controlling.. thats a scary issue. And sorry he is acting like a baby.. men.

Well its almost time for bed.. yeah, 8:30 lol haaaaaaaaaa.
Have a good night chickies... TTYT

Leens

Hello ladies!

It's been a month since I have posted; I've been too ashamed. I have really put my weight loss on the back burner for the past month and am feeling guilty. I wasn't going to come back on, but I missed hearing about all of you!! Happy 4th of July to all my American chicks!

MissRicer, I'm so glad you're back. You should never be ashamed here! Only a month off plan, I'm impressed! I'd gone over a year until recently without doing anything that is positive for my health. That's what we are all about: support through THICK and thin.

I had a nice 4th. We went to a friend's house that we hadn't seen in a while and cooked out. From their house we just walked out into the street and could see the fireworks. It was really nice.

What's sad is the entire day I was just praying something would happen and they would cancel on us. It wasn't b/c I didn't want to see them, it was b/c I didn't want them to see me. I hate the way I look and trying to find something to wear in the summer just sucks when you're fat. I'm embarrassed about my appearance and my crappy job (aka: lack of career). I would love to be able to change this feeling and hiding behavior but it isn't easy.

How was everybody else's day?

Hi Everyone,

Hope everyone had a wonderful 4th of July. Mine was ok although I was a complete idiot I was going to the fireworks and there was no parking but my car is small enough that I can normally park it anywhere. The only spot I found was where I had to drive up the curb to park. While doing this I got a flat tire. The only good thing about it was that when I went back to change the tire after the fireworks someone saw me and asked if I needed help.

Missracer: There are times when we all have that problem. There is nothing to be ashamed of. Sometimes it's hard to stay on track when your trying to loose weight on your own or there are things in life that make it hard to want to. No matter what the ladies here are always supportive. 3 years ago I came to this site. I ended up losing 30 lbs out of the 45 I wanted to loose. Then I stopped coming. I gain all the weight back and then some. Recently I came back. We all have our ups and downs. In the last 2 weeks I lost 6 pounds. I also gained the 6lbs back along with 4 more. It's hard. But you have us to talk to. if you need to talk you can always send me a PM.

Hope: You really shouldn't worry what people think of you. If they are truly your friends, that won't care what you look like. They just care about you. Things happen and we all have tough time. Everything happens for a reason and finding a job is hard with all the cut backs everyone is making. Give it time and I'm sure you'll find something. Keep thinking positive. That's all you can do. When your positive alot of good things can happen.

Leenie: I had a long talk with him today. I told him that it needed ti stop. He was never like this before. So hopefully now things change.

Purefire =^.~=

Good Morning,

Heather darling, how are you feeling?

MissRicer good to see you and ditto's to what the others said... don't stay away from "US" who better can relate and understand then "US". There's no shame on this board or anywhere else on 3FC's. Anyway, we're glad you decided to come back.

Hope you must be very young... because when you hit my age, you really learn not to care what people think of you... maybe that comes with menopause... or is it mean-o-pause lolol. We are our own worst critics and please darling, don't let your weight keep you from being or doing anything you want. Be proud of who you are and what ever job you may have.. nobody and I mean nobody is better than anyone else, regardless of age, weight, race, money or job status.. God doesn't love us differently, and neither should we.

Purefire that stinks about the flat tire but I'm glad some one was able to help you. Good for you for telling your bf how you feel... its good to know he has the tendency to do this now and stopping it in its tracks. Hopefully he won't act like that again.

Well girlies, nothing new here... we might hit the mall later today in hopes it will be empty lol but thats about it on the agenda (((love it))).

Have a great 5th of July

Leenie

Hi girls,

Leenie, am I young? Not really, I'm a couple of years away from 40. I definitely don't care what people think the way I did in my 20's but I'm at my heaviest and it's not pretty. Though I feel pretty normal most of the time I realize that when I'm in the situation of seeing people I haven't seen in a while I fall into the old pattern of avoidance. I hope that gets better but I'm not convinced it will.

Purefire-glad you had some help with the flat tire. That's the worst when that happens. I hope your bf got the message today.

Heather, how are you doing today?

Not much new here. Just work and a nap. Blah.

Morning chickies!

Sassy - that's funny... wonder if I could find my old diaries - THAT would be such a good read - very 'put it in perspective', eh? LOL

Purefire - sounds like you have a lot on your plate, and it's so hard to put ourselves first when other people are pulling at our emotions! Hang tough, chick!

MissRicer - I will echo what's already been said, because it's true - we have ALL been where you are just now, and probably, to one degree or another, all will be again at some point... and we ARE here for support - I often go MIA when my eating and weight is 'off' - and these girls still love me just the same - and we feel the same about you. That horse might be running from you right now, but you'll get back on - you WILL! Keep posting - that's why we're ALL here

Hope - I don't know if that feeling ever entirely goes away... I suspect there will always be a part of each of us that can find something we don't like about ourselves enough to start thinking we should 'avoid' situations... seriously, even on my BEST days, I think 'Not bad, that will do'. Seriously - I never think 'You are smokin' hot, chick - go get 'em!' Even just typing that makes me laugh.

On that note - here's weirdness... so I ELECTED to have my bod carved up like this, and it IS a vanity thing, to some degree... I WANT to look better. Right now, I could NOT look worse. Seriously, everything is swollen, and in the wrong place, and I feel skanky and unsexy and uncomfortable... just plain - AWFUL. I don't care if I am in 'cocoon-mode' - I look dreadful, which makes me FEEL dreadful. I am weepy and scared and just plain silly... but that's where I am right now. I go back to the clinic this afternoon, and that will be very revealing - in ALL ways! - so I will check in later. Emotions are crazy things!!

I'm still very tender, and there is an emotional toll with having my ex here to help... he IS helping, but the emotional stuff is hard.

Chat later - have a great Monday all!!
Heather

G'day ladies...
It seems like everyone had a good 4th, which is awesome. I'm glad everyone enjoyed .

Heather - Glad to see you're feeling well. You'll look beautiful, I promise

Hope4me - I totally get the avoidance thing. I'm not sure I have a solution for you - as I havn't found on myself - but I understand if you need someone to vent to

Sassy - I re-read my old Livejournal recently, and decided I was the DUMBEST teenager ever. Seriously, I'm surprise I didn't end up dead in a ditch somewhere... I'm glad you're amused you

Everyone else: HI!

(If you’re not in the mood for a rant, please stop reading here and have a great day…)


I've been in a wicked funk the past couple of days. We went to my husband’s co-worker’s house for the 4th. It was a bunch of people I’ve never met before, which made me think that I should stay home so my husband doesn’t have to introduce his ‘fat wife’. (My husband would never actually say that mind you. He’s sweet and still thinks I’m pretty for some reason I don’t understand). But still – I feel like I’m somehow an embarrassment and I get really freaked out about going somewhere where all of the women are skinny and pretty. I was reassured when I met the hostess and she wasn’t a toothpick, and totally normal looking.

Yesterday and today my funk took a different turn. I went into “I’m a complete failure” mode, which I’m not – I just… blah. I’m 25 and I have a BA, MBA, and am working on my second masters. I’m employed full time, I’m married, and quite content with life – normally. On paper, I’m a success – in practice I feel like I’m giving up on something wonderful that’s sitting just out of my reach.

I’ve been told I’m quite talented with the creative arts, though everything I’ve ever done outside of school is hidden in a closet. My husband encourages me to get my stuff out there but I just can’t bring myself to show it to anyone. Writing is even worse. I can’t even be in the same room as my husband if he’s reading something I wrote. We’ll be together 5 years this September, and I let him read something I wrote for the first time a month or two ago. Every once in a while I get this feeling like I’m supposed to be doing something more than what I am. Like either I should be a fabulous writer or artist… if only I could deal with showing my stuff to other people. My therapist blames it on the “emotional plate of armor” I have protected myself with over the years – my art shows a part of myself I don’t want anyone to see, yada yada. The dissatisfaction then shifts to my marriage, which honestly is perfectly fine. My husband is great, we’re happy, we get along fabulously, and we have the same goals and aspirations. Wonderfulness… or not. I think I spent too many years watching Disney movies and reading books where these fictitious perfect men are created and instantly give their wives perfect lives… So I spent much of my life, whether dating someone or not, dreaming of my prince. Maybe not even my prince. I’ve always been big into the Sci-Fi Fantasy so I spent the majority of my life reading the work that preceded Twilight (yes, there were books about vampires and magic before Harry Potter and Twilight – not that I’m disrespecting those books because I think they’re quite good - I just get irritated when people think they’re revolutionary. I could recommend lists of books that preceded these that were just as good if not better.)

Now that I’m married to a normal real person, I find myself still daydreaming about some character that doesn’t exist, and it makes me feel horrible. My husband is a great guy, and if I found out he was daydreaming of the perfect woman I’d be pretty miffed.

Bah. I hate becoming so discontent with my life. I feel that part of a high school education for girls should be introducing them to REAL stories of life – so they don’t go into the real word and instantly become jaded with how life really turns out – even when it turns out “good”.

Hello Everyone.

I'm tired of the last week and how things have been going. Last night, I almost lost it and it was over nothing truly important. My bf's son is staying with us for a month and it was all three of us in my small room. It pissed me off that I had to leave my room to change my clothes.

I had plan to put him in the spare bedroom, but it was completely trashed. My mother is a pack rat. So today she went to NH and she will be gone until Friday. I am going thru the whole house and cleaning. So far I've thrown out 13 bags of stuff. And I'll probably be at about 50 by the time I'm done. The garbage men are going to freak. But it feels good to just clean. Plus its like a workout so it makes it better.

HI GANG,

WOW LOOKS LIKE EVERYONE HASN'T HAD A GOOD START TO JULY SO FAR DON'T WORRY GANG EVERYTHING WILL BE OK I HAVE THOSE DAY'S MY SELF

ON A GOOD NOTE MY HUSBAND AND I HAD SUCH A GOOD TIME AT SIX FLAGS WE GOT THERE RIGHT AT 9 SO WE WENT ON THE ANIMAL TRAIL 1ST IT WAS SO COOL I COULDN'T GET OVER HOW THEY JUST ROAM AROUND IT WAS GREAT THAT THE ANIMALS HAVE SUCH BIG SPACE TO MOVE AROUND IN LOT BETTER THEN THE ZOO OF COURSE THE MONKEY'S WERE ADORABLE THE PEOPLE WERE SO NICE AS WELL TOOK US AN HOUR TO DRIVE THREW SOME OF THE ANIMAL'S DIDN'T WANT TO MOVE OUT OF THE ROAD THE MOST FUNNY THING IS MY HUSBAND MADE A MJ GLOVE NO JOKE GANG HE WORKED HARD ON THIS GLOVE PUT THE GLITTER ON IT THE WORKS AND PUT IT ON OUR ANTENNA OF THE TRUCK WHEN THE ANIMALS WOULD SEE IT THEY CAME RIGHT UP TO IT AND OF COURSE SMELLED IT WHEN THEY REALIZED IT WASN'T FOOD THEY JUST WALK BY IT WAS COOL MY HUSBAND GOT SO MANY COMPLIMENT'S ON HIS GLOVE HE EVEN TOOK PICTURES OF IT !!!

AT 1030 THE PARK OPENED UP IT WAS SO NICE OUTSIDE STILL GOT BURNT BUT THAT'S OK THE PARK WASN'T CROWED AT ALL WE MUST HAVE GOTTEN ON EVERY RIDE AT LEAST 5 TIMES THE LONGEST WE WAITED WAS MAYBE 15 MINS TOP I KNOW I GAINED LIKE 10PDS ALL I DID WAS EAT IT FELT LIKE BUT I'M BACK ON THE WAGON TODAY THE FIREWORKS WERE GREAT THEY STARTED AT 10 THEY WERE SO PRETTY THEY WERE RIGHT OVER THE WATER OF COURSE WE GOT A GOOD SPOT CUZ BY 9 WE WERE SO DONE WITH THE RIDES THAT WE WENT TO SIT AND THAT'S WHERE WE STAYED TIL IT WAS DONE WE HAD A BLAST WILL GO AGAIN AND BRING THE KIDS I KNOW THEY WILL LOVE IT WE JUST HAVE A BIG FAMILY WE HAVE 7 KIDS ALL TOGETHER SO HAVE TO SAVE UP FOR THAT NEXT TRIP

SUNDAY I DIDN'T DO REALLY ANYTHING LITTLE BIT OF HOUSE WORK OF COURSE WENT TO SEE MY KIDS FOR A LITTLE BIT IT WAS MY OLDEST DAUGHTER'S B-DAY SHE TURNED 14OF COURSE I ATE SOME MORE DAD MADE DINNER YES THERE STILL THERE GOING GOOD JUST READY TO HAVE MY HUSBAND AND HOUSE BACK TO OUR SELF'S (NO ARE KIDS DON'T LIVE WITH US WE GET THEM EVERY OTHER WEEKEND )THAT'S ANOTHER STORY ONE DAY IF ANYONE WANT'S TO KNOW THAT ONE MY HUSBAND WENT ON THE BIKE ALL DAY HE ASKED IF I WANTED TO RIDE BUT HE WAS WITH ALL THE BOY'S SO I STAYED HOME AND LET HIM PLAY WITH HIS FRIENDS

HOPE EVERY ONE'S WEEK GET'S BETTER WILL CHECK IN TOMORROWS

Good morning everyone
Hope everyone starts to feel better soon

DdC made it home yesterday, she survived her four short flights, she was only alone for the last hour flight other than that she had team members with her. She lost her first two fights so that was the end of the competing but she had a good time and it was a good experience for her.
DdA got a really good burn on her left forearm at work yesterday. Last night as I was changing the dressing it had some relatively large blisters on it. Not going to expose it this morning and wrap it really well for protection before she goes back to work this morning. Also our boss asked if DdA, DdB and I would work at one of the other stores Wed night while they are at their staff meeting. So it will be the three of us and a supervisor from a different store, should be fun or at least interesting.
Finally got the garden all planted. We did have a couple of really nice days but it started raining again last night.
Well I should get going and start my day here. Hope you are all well.

Take care,
K

Hi girls,

Ok I just pushed a button and lost my entire post!

Glad to see everybody in here!

I'm off today and went to the eye dr. this morning. My eyes are still dilated so I'll be staying out of the sun until I go to the dentist this afternoon. Sounds like a fun filled day huh?

I'm getting ready to watch the Michael Jackson memorial. I was a huge fan and can't believe he's gone. (No, though none of us will ever know for sure, I didn't believe the allegations against him from people who made a habit of extortion and fraud. There, Ive said my peace. )

Gotta run till later. Have a great day everybody.