July 2009 Chick Chat - Come Chat With Us
 

Good Afternoon Ladies. :hug:

I figured since it was mentioned I would start July's Chick Chat. :wave:

Venting again. I can't wait for the 4th to be over.

I think I said it last night but I'm on bad day #2. This time for a whole different reason. :lol:
I think I only had about 2 hours of sleep last night. :yawn: I woke up at 4am completely awake and started cleaning. I've been on the run since 7am and just got home. My best friend doesn't have a car at the moment so I've been bringing her to work and the picking her up at night. I've been driving her every where today and now I am ready to collapse.

Then I had to deal with the guy I am seeing. He's my ex and we're trying to work things out. Right now he is living with me because he got evicted from his apartment. He called me a little while ago and was complaining about everything. I'm going to the fireworks with my son tonight and don't know what time I'll be home. He's upset about that. Then I made plans for tomorrow and he got mad today. He was surpose to work and go spend the afternoon with his son at his son's grandmothers house. Now he doesn't have to work and his son's mother said she doesn't want him there. So he's going to be home alone for the 4th. He mad me feel like crap for making plans tomorrow. I am so pissed off at him. :mad: We are not going out. He was never like this when we were going out. I don't know what his problem is now but he is being possessive and controlling and I'm tired of dealing with it.

My mom is doing better. I could tell this morning that he meds had kicked in.

I am normally a patient person and can deal with almost anything. But the last few days I've had it with everything and can't deal with anything.

Leenie ~ Thanks. Its funny how kids are these days. The act like grown ups and always seem to figure things out fast.

Hope ~ I've been playing the role of mom for my mother for years now. When things are bad her boyfriend comes to me and I have to deal with it.

Heather ~ I'm glad your home and ok.

I finally got a chance to eat today. The bad part is I was so hungry I had a Weight Watchers Smart One meal and ended up eating both serving in the box. The only good thing was that it was only 400 calories so I've had about 600 totally counting my coffee :coffee:

I hope everyone has a Happy 4th. I'm going to go to the cemetary which I'm not sure I can handle but it is his birthday and I want to at least try to visit him. Then I am going to a festival after.

Purefire =^.~=

Thanks for starting up July's thread... I forgot we were in July haaaaaaaaa.

Don't blame you for not putting up with some one who's controlling.. thats a scary issue. And sorry he is acting like a baby.. men.

Well its almost time for bed.. yeah, 8:30 lol haaaaaaaaaa.
Have a good night chickies... TTYT

Leens

Hello ladies!

It's been a month since I have posted; I've been too ashamed. I have really put my weight loss on the back burner for the past month and am feeling guilty. I wasn't going to come back on, but I missed hearing about all of you!! Happy 4th of July to all my American chicks!

MissRicer, I'm so glad you're back. You should never be ashamed here! Only a month off plan, I'm impressed! ;) I'd gone over a year until recently without doing anything that is positive for my health. That's what we are all about: support through THICK and thin.

I had a nice 4th. We went to a friend's house that we hadn't seen in a while and cooked out. From their house we just walked out into the street and could see the fireworks. It was really nice.

What's sad is the entire day I was just praying something would happen and they would cancel on us. It wasn't b/c I didn't want to see them, it was b/c I didn't want them to see me. I hate the way I look and trying to find something to wear in the summer just sucks when you're fat. I'm embarrassed about my appearance and my crappy job (aka: lack of career). I would love to be able to change this feeling and hiding behavior but it isn't easy.

How was everybody else's day?

Hi Everyone,

Hope everyone had a wonderful 4th of July. Mine was ok although I was a complete idiot :lol: I was going to the fireworks and there was no parking but my car is small enough that I can normally park it anywhere. The only spot I found was where I had to drive up the curb to park. While doing this I got a flat tire. The only good thing about it was that when I went back to change the tire after the fireworks someone saw me and asked if I needed help.

Missracer: There are times when we all have that problem. There is nothing to be ashamed of. Sometimes it's hard to stay on track when your trying to lose weight on your own or there are things in life that make it hard to want to. No matter what the ladies here are always supportive. 3 years ago I came to this site. I ended up losing 30 lbs out of the 45 I wanted to loose. Then I stopped coming. I gain all the weight back and then some. Recently I came back. We all have our ups and downs. In the last 2 weeks I lost 6 pounds. I also gained the 6lbs back along with 4 more. It's hard. But you have us to talk to. if you need to talk you can always send me a PM.

Hope: You really shouldn't worry what people think of you. If they are truly your friends, that won't care what you look like. They just care about you. Things happen and we all have tough time. Everything happens for a reason and finding a job is hard with all the cut backs everyone is making. Give it time and I'm sure you'll find something. Keep thinking positive. That's all you can do. When your positive alot of good things can happen.

Leenie: I had a long talk with him today. I told him that it needed ti stop. He was never like this before. So hopefully now things change.

Purefire =^.~=

Good Morning,

Heather darling, how are you feeling?

MissRicer good to see you :) and ditto's to what the others said... don't stay away from "US" who better can relate and understand then "US". There's no shame on this board or anywhere else on 3FC's. Anyway, we're glad you decided to come back.

Hope you must be very young... because when you hit my age, you really learn not to care what people think of you... maybe that comes with menopause... or is it mean-o-pause lolol. We are our own worst critics and please darling, don't let your weight keep you from being or doing anything you want. Be proud of who you are and what ever job you may have.. nobody and I mean nobody is better than anyone else, regardless of age, weight, race, money or job status.. God doesn't love us differently, and neither should we. :hug:

Purefire that stinks about the flat tire but I'm glad some one was able to help you. Good for you for telling your bf how you feel... its good to know he has the tendency to do this now and stopping it in its tracks. Hopefully he won't act like that again.

Well girlies, nothing new here... we might hit the mall later today in hopes it will be empty lol but thats about it on the agenda (((love it))).

Have a great 5th of July ;)

Leenie

Hi girls,

Leenie, am I young? Not really, I'm a couple of years away from 40. I definitely don't care what people think the way I did in my 20's but I'm at my heaviest and it's not pretty. Though I feel pretty normal most of the time I realize that when I'm in the situation of seeing people I haven't seen in a while I fall into the old pattern of avoidance. I hope that gets better but I'm not convinced it will.

Purefire-glad you had some help with the flat tire. That's the worst when that happens. I hope your bf got the message today.

Heather, how are you doing today?

Not much new here. Just work and a nap. Blah.

Hola Chickareenos!!!!
 

Morning chickies! :wave:

Sassy - that's funny... wonder if I could find my old diaries - THAT would be such a good read - very 'put it in perspective', eh? LOL ;)

Purefire - sounds like you have a lot on your plate, and it's so hard to put ourselves first when other people are pulling at our emotions! Hang tough, chick! :hug:

MissRicer - I will echo what's already been said, because it's true - we have ALL been where you are just now, and probably, to one degree or another, all will be again at some point... and we ARE here for support - I often go MIA when my eating and weight is 'off' - and these girls still love me just the same - and we feel the same about you. That horse might be running from you right now, but you'll get back on - you WILL! Keep posting - that's why we're ALL here :)

Hope - I don't know if that feeling ever entirely goes away... I suspect there will always be a part of each of us that can find something we don't like about ourselves enough to start thinking we should 'avoid' situations... seriously, even on my BEST days, I think 'Not bad, that will do'. Seriously - I never think 'You are smokin' hot, chick - go get 'em!' :lol3: Even just typing that makes me laugh.

On that note - here's weirdness... so I ELECTED to have my bod carved up like this, and it IS a vanity thing, to some degree... I WANT to look better. Right now, I could NOT look worse. Seriously, everything is swollen, and in the wrong place, and I feel skanky and unsexy and uncomfortable... just plain - AWFUL. I don't care if I am in 'cocoon-mode' - I look dreadful, which makes me FEEL dreadful. I am weepy and scared and just plain silly... but that's where I am right now. I go back to the clinic this afternoon, and that will be very revealing - in ALL ways!:lol: - so I will check in later. Emotions are crazy things!!

I'm still very tender, and there is an emotional toll with having my ex here to help... he IS helping, but the emotional stuff is hard.

Chat later - have a great Monday all!!
Heather :D

G'day ladies...
It seems like everyone had a good 4th, which is awesome. I'm glad everyone enjoyed :).

Heather - Glad to see you're feeling well. You'll look beautiful, I promise :cool:

Hope4me - I totally get the avoidance thing. I'm not sure I have a solution for you - as I havn't found on myself - but I understand if you need someone to vent to :)

Sassy - I re-read my old Livejournal recently, and decided I was the DUMBEST teenager ever. Seriously, I'm surprise I didn't end up dead in a ditch somewhere... I'm glad you're amused you :)

Everyone else: HI! ;)

(If you’re not in the mood for a rant, please stop reading here and have a great day…)


I've been in a wicked funk the past couple of days. We went to my husband’s co-worker’s house for the 4th. It was a bunch of people I’ve never met before, which made me think that I should stay home so my husband doesn’t have to introduce his ‘fat wife’. (My husband would never actually say that mind you. He’s sweet and still thinks I’m pretty for some reason I don’t understand). But still – I feel like I’m somehow an embarrassment and I get really freaked out about going somewhere where all of the women are skinny and pretty. I was reassured when I met the hostess and she wasn’t a toothpick, and totally normal looking.

Yesterday and today my funk took a different turn. I went into “I’m a complete failure” mode, which I’m not – I just… blah. I’m 25 and I have a BA, MBA, and am working on my second masters. I’m employed full time, I’m married, and quite content with life – normally. On paper, I’m a success – in practice I feel like I’m giving up on something wonderful that’s sitting just out of my reach.

I’ve been told I’m quite talented with the creative arts, though everything I’ve ever done outside of school is hidden in a closet. My husband encourages me to get my stuff out there but I just can’t bring myself to show it to anyone. Writing is even worse. I can’t even be in the same room as my husband if he’s reading something I wrote. We’ll be together 5 years this September, and I let him read something I wrote for the first time a month or two ago. Every once in a while I get this feeling like I’m supposed to be doing something more than what I am. Like either I should be a fabulous writer or artist… if only I could deal with showing my stuff to other people. My therapist blames it on the “emotional plate of armor” I have protected myself with over the years – my art shows a part of myself I don’t want anyone to see, yada yada. The dissatisfaction then shifts to my marriage, which honestly is perfectly fine. My husband is great, we’re happy, we get along fabulously, and we have the same goals and aspirations. Wonderfulness… or not. I think I spent too many years watching Disney movies and reading books where these fictitious perfect men are created and instantly give their wives perfect lives… So I spent much of my life, whether dating someone or not, dreaming of my prince. Maybe not even my prince. I’ve always been big into the Sci-Fi Fantasy so I spent the majority of my life reading the work that preceded Twilight (yes, there were books about vampires and magic before Harry Potter and Twilight – not that I’m disrespecting those books because I think they’re quite good - I just get irritated when people think they’re revolutionary. I could recommend lists of books that preceded these that were just as good if not better.)

Now that I’m married to a normal real person, I find myself still daydreaming about some character that doesn’t exist, and it makes me feel horrible. My husband is a great guy, and if I found out he was daydreaming of the perfect woman I’d be pretty miffed.

Bah. I hate becoming so discontent with my life. I feel that part of a high school education for girls should be introducing them to REAL stories of life – so they don’t go into the real word and instantly become jaded with how life really turns out – even when it turns out “good”.

Hello Everyone.

I'm tired of the last week and how things have been going. Last night, I almost lost it and it was over nothing truly important. My bf's son is staying with us for a month and it was all three of us in my small room. It pissed me off that I had to leave my room to change my clothes.

I had plan to put him in the spare bedroom, but it was completely trashed. My mother is a pack rat. So today she went to NH and she will be gone until Friday. I am going thru the whole house and cleaning. So far I've thrown out 13 bags of stuff. And I'll probably be at about 50 by the time I'm done. The garbage men are going to freak. But it feels good to just clean. Plus its like a workout so it makes it better.

HI GANG,:wave:

WOW LOOKS LIKE EVERYONE HASN'T HAD A GOOD START TO JULY SO FAR :(DON'T WORRY GANG EVERYTHING WILL BE OK:D I HAVE THOSE DAY'S MY SELF :yes:

ON A GOOD NOTE :carrot:MY HUSBAND AND I HAD SUCH A GOOD TIME AT SIX FLAGS :dancer:WE GOT THERE RIGHT AT 9 SO WE WENT ON THE ANIMAL TRAIL 1ST:o IT WAS SO COOL:) I COULDN'T GET OVER HOW THEY JUST ROAM AROUND IT WAS GREAT THAT THE ANIMALS HAVE SUCH BIG SPACE TO MOVE AROUND IN LOT BETTER THEN THE ZOO OF COURSE :D THE MONKEY'S WERE ADORABLE:jig: THE PEOPLE WERE SO NICE AS WELL ;)TOOK US AN HOUR TO DRIVE THREW :scooter:SOME OF THE ANIMAL'S DIDN'T WANT TO MOVE OUT OF THE ROAD:s: THE MOST FUNNY THING IS MY HUSBAND MADE A MJ GLOVE NO JOKE GANG:yes: HE WORKED HARD ON THIS GLOVE PUT THE GLITTER ON IT THE WORKS AND PUT IT ON OUR ANTENNA OF THE TRUCK :)WHEN THE ANIMALS WOULD SEE IT THEY CAME RIGHT UP TO IT AND OF COURSE SMELLED IT WHEN THEY REALIZED IT WASN'T FOOD THEY JUST WALK BY:carrot: IT WAS COOL MY HUSBAND GOT SO MANY COMPLIMENT'S ON HIS GLOVE HE EVEN TOOK PICTURES OF IT !!!:rofl:

AT 1030 THE PARK OPENED UP:o IT WAS SO NICE OUTSIDE STILL GOT BURNT BUT THAT'S OK :mad:THE PARK WASN'T CROWED AT ALL WE MUST HAVE GOTTEN ON EVERY RIDE AT LEAST 5 TIMES :carrot::cb::broc:THE LONGEST WE WAITED WAS MAYBE 15 MINS TOP:dunno: I KNOW I GAINED LIKE 10PDS :censored:ALL I DID WAS EAT IT FELT LIKE :(BUT I'M BACK ON THE WAGON TODAY ;)THE FIREWORKS WERE GREAT :^:THEY STARTED AT 10:o THEY WERE SO PRETTY :yay:THEY WERE RIGHT OVER THE WATER:^: OF COURSE WE GOT A GOOD SPOT CUZ BY 9 WE WERE SO DONE WITH THE RIDES :sp:THAT WE WENT TO SIT AND THAT'S WHERE WE STAYED TIL IT WAS DONE:^: WE HAD A BLAST WILL GO AGAIN AND BRING THE KIDS I KNOW THEY WILL LOVE IT :yes:WE JUST HAVE A BIG FAMILY WE HAVE 7 KIDS ALL TOGETHER SO HAVE TO SAVE UP FOR THAT NEXT TRIP:)

SUNDAY I DIDN'T DO REALLY ANYTHING:^: LITTLE BIT OF HOUSE WORK OF COURSE :)WENT TO SEE MY KIDS FOR A LITTLE BIT :carrot:IT WAS MY OLDEST DAUGHTER'S B-DAY SHE TURNED 14:cool:OF COURSE I ATE SOME MORE DAD MADE DINNER:D YES THERE STILL THERE GOING GOOD JUST READY TO HAVE MY HUSBAND AND HOUSE BACK TO OUR SELF'S :^: (NO ARE KIDS DON'T LIVE WITH US WE GET THEM EVERY OTHER WEEKEND )THAT'S ANOTHER STORY ONE DAY IF ANYONE WANT'S TO KNOW THAT ONE :dizzy:MY HUSBAND WENT ON THE BIKE ALL DAY HE ASKED IF I WANTED TO RIDE BUT HE WAS WITH ALL THE BOY'S SO I STAYED HOME AND LET HIM PLAY WITH HIS FRIENDS:grouphug:

HOPE EVERY ONE'S WEEK GET'S BETTER WILL CHECK IN TOMORROW:hug:S

Hola
 

Good morning everyone:wave:
Hope everyone starts to feel better soon:grouphug:

DdC made it home yesterday, she survived her four short flights, she was only alone for the last hour flight other than that she had team members with her. She lost her first two fights so that was the end of the competing but she had a good time and it was a good experience for her.
DdA got a really good burn on her left forearm at work yesterday. Last night as I was changing the dressing it had some relatively large blisters on it. Not going to expose it this morning and wrap it really well for protection before she goes back to work this morning. Also our boss asked if DdA, DdB and I would work at one of the other stores Wed night while they are at their staff meeting. So it will be the three of us and a supervisor from a different store, should be fun or at least interesting.
Finally got the garden all planted. We did have a couple of really nice days but it started raining again last night.
Well I should get going and start my day here. Hope you are all well.

Take care,
K

Hi girls,

Ok I just pushed a button and lost my entire post! :mad:

Glad to see everybody in here!

I'm off today and went to the eye dr. this morning. My eyes are still dilated so I'll be staying out of the sun until I go to the dentist this afternoon. :cool: Sounds like a fun filled day huh? :)

I'm getting ready to watch the Michael Jackson memorial. I was a huge fan and can't believe he's gone. (No, though none of us will ever know for sure, I didn't believe the allegations against him from people who made a habit of extortion and fraud. There, Ive said my peace. :soap:)

Gotta run till later. Have a great day everybody.

Ladies -

Hope - Glad your eye apt went went and good luck with the dentist. Talk about a fun day, eesh. You should do something fun tonight to make up for it, you deserve it!

Jelly - Glad you and the hubby had fun! :)

Pure - you can find some amazingly fun stuff cleanin up after someone who is a packrat! Look for treasure! :genie:

Sassy - I never want to be at work, don't feel bad! You should start making your journals into stories - if you can do it at work, it might wake you up.;)

I feel better today. My body never lets me get super bummed for too long. 2-3 days tops, and I'm in a good mood whether I want to be or not. It's weird being physically happy when I'm mentally yearning to crawl back into bed. Ha! Maybe the energy will help me get my laundry done tonight!

Everybody have a goooooood day.:hug:

Hi Gang:carrot:

Hope Everyone Has A Great Day!!!!:D I Don't Have Much Going On So Far This Week!!!!!:) I'm Going To The Bar Tonight W/shango(husband)and Friends From Work Just To Brake Up The Week And Relax For A Bit ;)Tomorrow Have To Take Taylor(14 Yr Old Daughter)to The Doctor's For Her Yearly Check Up!!!! :dizzy:We Have Our Kids This Weekend So We Will Be At The Pool!!!!:carrot::carrot:

TALK TO YOU ALL SOON!!!!:hug:S

:wave:

Have a great day :D

Hi gals! :wave:

I'm trying to do too much, and have to slow down. I'm frustrated being so slow, but I MUST wait out this healing process. It is odd to weigh more (please, PLEASE!, let it just be the swelling!!) and be larger than when I went into surgery. We train ourselves to measure clothing sizes and numbers on a scale - it's hard when those don't match up!! Must give it time, but it is making me a little teary.

MissRicer - where are you? Come back!! Post here - we'll support you. Lying low, licking wounds - I am the QUEEN of that... but coming here always, ALWAYS, helps! :hug:

How's everyone else?? (and Hope, I HATE when I type a post and lose it - stupid computers! gah!!)

Heather :D

Ok I need to go back thru and catch up on Junes post cause I was a little lost on some things. I feel so stupid because I want to lose weight so bad and cant stand to look at myself and everytime I start something it never becomes a long term routine. Like we did the c25k for a week. I felt great then we missed a week due to things going on and last night I couldnt make myself go do it....why...I was counting calories and just forgot a day or two then had no desire to do it. I started doing the 30day shred and couldnt find the same time of day to do it and started missing days. I dont know I am totally getting my life and family in order and on schedules maybe I just need to give a little more time and add it. I got my kids in a good routine with bed time and everything.
I just can NOT stand to look at myself after I get dressed and I cant stop eating junk. I dont over eat but I drink soda and eat stuff I shouldnt.

I feel like I am running into a brick wall every day!! It is so bad that I think about coming here and checking in with you guys but I feel like crap cause I cant even say I am doing anything right. I dont know.

I just want change but my motivation is not as high.....

Awww momof4 :hug: I've been wondering how you've been doing. I feel like I'm in a similar place, I'm so fed up with myself. I know I have to make the changes and know what to do and yet I still make poor choices. Take this morning, its almost 10am and I'm still lying here with a ton of things to do. I'm trying to think of something for breakfast, do I have what I want which is left over dinner, but its really high in carbs go for the lettuce and thai tuna, don't really feel like that, have a protein type drink? what about a homemade egg mcmuffin thing? and then I start thinking of the calorie numbers, get overwhelmed and opt out of making a choice which means I'll skip breakfast and be starving for lunch and grab whatever. I don't know, I just can't get it together. Congrats on getting your kids on a good bed time routine, that is a huge start. :hug:

Hope that is one busy day off you had!!! Hope you had a nice long soak in the tub after all was said and done.

Heather give yourself time and be good to yourself.:hug: The swelling and retained water will go soon enough and you'll have to go shopping for a whole new wardrobe!!

marbear glad to hear you are feeling better, makes it a bit easier to get things done.

Bit Hi and :hug: to everyone else!!

Don't have to go to work until 6:30 tonight. I get to work with both of my daughters as we are going to a different store and covering while they have their climate meeting. Sort of feel sorry for whoever our supervisor might be. Its not raining and the sun is out today so that is great. Came out of group yesterday and walked into a downpour, crazy. My mom had her gallbladder surgery yesterday morning and wasn't doing very well last night, my sister had to take her back to the hospital for some more painkillers. Haven't heard this morning how she is. DdA's burn is looking terrible. All part of the healing process I know. We are going to stop in at the after hours clinic on our way to work and get proper documentation as she really needs to make an accident report incase it becomes infected or anything. Plus the doctor will let us know if we are doing the right things.
I better get going here or else I'm going to lose my day.

Take care everyone and note we are on the downward slide to the weekend!!
K

Hello Ladies.. :wave:

Jelly ~ Have fun at the bar tonight with your hubby and friends. It's always nice to relax during the week. Have a great weekend with your kids as well.

Hope ~ You do need to slow down. Doing to much isn't good for you after surgery of any kind. Don't pay attention to what the scale or your clothes look like until the swelling goes down. You'll drive yourself crazy.

Miss Racer ~ You should really come back. We are here for support when ever things are good or bad.

momof4 ~ I really know how you feel. I've been doing the same thing and it's driving me crazy. Take one thing at a time. If you drink soda drink diet. If you want to eat something that is bad for you. Pick one day a week to do it. If you want help trying to stick to something send me a PM and we'll come up with something.


So far the first 8 days of July have been really crappy. I have been so moody and keep getting aggravated and then pissed at every little things that happens and gets said. :eek: Then tonight I finally realized as I sat down at the computer that I hadn't taken my medication in about a week. :nono::yikes: I feel a little better now that I've taken them. :cp:

I'm also sore. My legs, shoulders, arms and back are killing me. I have been cleaning non stop since Monday. I finished cleaning out the front room and finally got it set up into a bed room for my boyfriends son. The only thing I have left to do is hook up the DVD player and his Xbox and it is done. I also cleaned out the shed and reorganized all of my boyfriends stuff that he has out there. Now I can put some of my stuff in there. I'm still cleaning out the basement tho. Its been three days and I'm still not done. I only have 15 totes to finishes going through and I'm done. I ended up throwing out 43 bags of trash between both so far. The garbage men are going to love me in the morning. My mother is literally a pack rat and she is going to freak when she gets home. I ended up with 4 totes worth of stuff. I am moving in a few months and the treasures I found. OMG. :sp: I still have to clean my room out. All the totes that I brought up are sitting in the corner and I have to finish cleaning out the attic. So I have a few more days of cleaning ahead of me. :?::censored:

Other than that I have been running like crazy. I haven't seen my son since Sunday but I've talked to him everyday. (Long Story). I was surpose to go to Maine but it didn't happen so I took the three days to clean but I should be going to Maine on Monday. Who knows.

Hopefully things start looking better tomorrow. I am going to watch what I do and what I eat and hopefully I get all my cleaning done. This weekend is the Whaling City Festival. I normally spend all three days at the festival but I don't know what I am doing yet. I think I am going on Saturday with my mom and on Sunday with my best friend. Both my boyfriend and my best friend both work at the festival considering their boss runs it every year.

Hope everyone has a good day tomorrow.

Pure..

Buddly-Wow that totally sounds like me in the morning. I cant decide what I want so I dont eat or I have no energy to make myself anything so I dont eat. I hope your mom and dda is getting better. Sounds like alot going on at one time.

Pure-I am trying to drink more water because that is what will help me lose the weight and I hate diet soda. I have tried doing one day of the week junk food but it ends up then I cant not eat it I just want more then. I dont know something has to give soon!


I put shorts on I just bought and they wer tight...Tom already left town and the scale doesnt show i gained weight. I must be holding water since all i have been drinking is soda. Its like this sugar and junk has a hold on me and I cant get out of it. I want so bad to RUN around with my kids at the play ground. I know I am not a little kids anymore but I want to have fun and enjoy playing with them while they still want me to. I dont want to enjoy watching them...I want to get in there and play with them. i need to go to boot camp where I cant get away I HAVE TO DO IT....UGGGGHHHH Why do we get stuck in such ruts...I wish I was taught growing up how to eat healthy and about food not just made to eat what was on the table. Plus my mom hardly ever left me have junk food or soda so its like I have to make up for those years. She doesnt really let her foster kids eat much candy then when they arent home they want candy. Kids need to be taught a balance and truly taught about food and shown. Ok I am getting off my soap box now. I am sitting here soaking my foot in vinager to help kill fungus on my big toe. I guess I am gonna go to bed now!! talk to you all lata!!

Pure - Be glad you havn't been in Maine! It's done nothing but rain! It's actually nice out today though, so hopefully the weather will hold out for you. Where are you headed in ME?

Mom - You know what's really good? Baked chick peas. Bake them until they're crisp and throw some salt on them. They make a great substitute for junk food. So do rice cakes.

Heather - SLOW DOWN!!! Don't go too fast and hurt yourself...

Not too much here. The sun is out so that's a good start to the day. Work has been UBER frustrating. I feel like I'm a babysitter half the time, which is not cool. I'm trying to get back into writing on my lunch break. Actually, I'm trying to get back into the habit of remembering to take a lunch - and writing on it. It's a good release and who knows - perhaps I will write a book someday :)

All - have a great day.

:wave: Hi Chickies

Heather yes, its swelling from the surgery... bet your looking better and better with each passing day. :hug:

Have a wonderful day chickies, I have to get back to work ;)

Luv yah !!

Hi Girls! May I come and join in on your thread? I may be a little lost at first, but I am sure eventually I'll catch up.

Hope4me... I too have social avoidance when I am not at my best. I have been feeling absolutely horrible about myself for about the past year and have managed to avoid several social scenes. Those I have attended, I generally wished they would "disappear", and usually ended up with a headache after each because I was tense and self-conscious most of the time.

Does anyone else tend to hold their breathe when uncomfortable? Maybe it's from trying to suck my stomach in the entire time.

I have also been avoiding responsiblities for some time now. Not the necessary ones, but the ones that I constantly think I "should" be doing. I put tremendous pressure on myself. I used to work non-stop. A busy-bee that never settled until "everything" was done. I was also thinner then. I was also much more high-strung then too. (ADHD). Since I have been on antidepressants, I have become much calmer, but I don't like how I have also become more lethargic and complacent. I am afraid to stop the meds, though, because I have tried twice, and I have never felt so depressed in my life. I didn't want to die, but couldn't find the will to want to live each day. I cried constantly and could deal with just about NOTHING. Thank God my DH has patiently stood beside me through all of this.

Thanks for letting me go on. I'm looking forward to getting to know all of you.

Hello Ladies.

Momof4 ~ Water works for me in losing weight as well, but I can't drink it as it is. I have to put a flavor packet in it or I won't drink it. I have been on a diet soda kick lately. My boyfriend works at an auction and he can get cases of soda for free and there is a ton of it in the house. I am going to try limiting it to 1 bottle of soda a day. Then the rest of the day drink water. As for breakfast.. Lately I have been buying either Slim fast drinks, special K meal bars or Slim fast mean bars. I don't normally eat breakfast, but if I have them in the house they are a meal replacement and I can normally last til lunch before I am hungry again. Plus I have been buying the Special K Protein water mixes. They help curb the hunger as well. Its always an idea if you don't want to make breakfast.

Marbear ~ My mother went to Maine and she said the same thing. All it did was rain. I don't know if I am going Monday. I seriously doubt it because my bf is working a festival this weekend and Monday is the day that they take everything down. Oh well. Maybe the week after.

Heather ~ I hope you are doing better. :hug:

Welcome Blueenough. I do the same things sometimes. Its hard to change it and I drive everyone crazy.

Today is day 4 of cleaning up the house. The basement is almost done. I have a few totes to go through and then sweeping and it looks wonderful. Trying to catch up on laundry as well. I have been picking up my room and cleaning out the attic and all the stuff I brought into my room from the basement. Once I have both done. I am done. I also changed my whole room around and cleaned it top to bottom.

I only slept two hours last night. My bf and his son were playing video games and then put in a movie and I woke up and couldn't go back to sleep. When I got upset and went downstairs to clean the basement at 1am my bf came down to ask what was wrong. I want to sleep but I can't do it with them in the room. I fell asleep an hour later and slept for 2 hours and my mom's bf woke me up so I could move my car. I've been up ever since. :censored:

I am taking a small break and enjoying a cigarette. :smoking: and having my coffee. :coffee: Then it's back to work. I think I have another 2 hours of cleaning to do. Then I have to make lunch for my bf's son and then run to take him to the auction tonight.

Busy day.

Hope everyone has a good day.

Purefire

Can't stay long but...

Welcome Blueenough!! Glad you joined us.

I've gotta get to work soon, blah. :p I'm really frustrated with the eating right and exercising thing. I'm not doing as well as I should be. Maybe that's an understatement. I'm maybe doing what I should about 1/3 of the time. I guess that's still better than nothing but the lack of visual or scale results that show from that such little effort tends to throw me into depression and frustration. I hate the mental games that trying to improve my health causes me to me to start playing. I don't think I'd be this stressed if I was eating junk and not exercising at all. Weird.

Catch y'all when I get home tonight around 10:30pm.

Hmmm, nobody's been here since I left.

I just have to say to Purefire: I can't believe how hard you've worked! But also I can't wait to hear what your mom's reaction will be. True hoarders are hard to change. I hope she doesn't flip out on you too much. I'm anxious to hear what she does.

I'm tired b/c I've been filling in for a lady who's on vacation plus trying to do my job. She will be back on monday. I'm just trying so hard to do everything she does ( with only 2 days of training) and sometimes I just can't fit everything in.

See y'all tomorrow.

:Hug: to everyone. I

'm quite tired today - and lazy, so I'm copying this from another post I wrote. (I post to two forums regularly, so if you happen to be on both - don't think I'm crazy!)


"I didn't get up an exercise this morning. I got home from work last night and immediately started cleaning - didn't finish until 9:30 - and I was so wound up I couldn't fall asleep until almost midnight. That is not helpful when you have to get up at 5am. My guests arrive between 5 & 6… and last I heard they planned on making us dinner tonight and taking us out to dinner tomorrow. Eeek. I may be a very sad and off-track chicka on Sunday!

I haven’t seen my therapist in like a month & a half because of vacations, visits, etc… I have an apt at 5 tonight (my husband will have to babysit the guests until I get home). I have to give her what I have written so far on this stupid story. Ugh. I wanted to write a book, because my brain is filled with… ridiculous nonsense. (Seriously, I’m just way too weird sometimes.) Anyhoo, what seems to come out is something based upon my grandfather dying when I was in middle school. SO… apparently I need to “get it out of my system”. Goody! Now I get to write and proofread what I went through when I was 12 and lived with someone slowly dying for 2 years. My husband read it. He said it was “Beautifully written but horribly depressing.” Haha, ya think? This should be an interesting appointment…"

:wave: TGIF


:welcome: Blueenough

hi everyone,:wave:

Today is the longest Friday I have ever had.:( The clock just won't move today.:mad: Hope everyone has a great weekend sounds like everyone has a busy weekend:carrot: (busy is always good);) I don't have to much going on this weekend have my kids that's always fun.:D We will hang out at the pool all day tomorrow :cool:that's all we have planned so far.Hope you all have a great weekend and will talk to you all soon:^:

:hug:s

Hello Ladies. :wave:

I finally finished 98% of my cleaning. The basement looks amazing. My mom is home but I haven't heard her reaction yet. I've been out of the house all day.

I am so tired. I went to the Whaling City Festival today. It's one of the biggest festivals around here and I love going to it every year. I got there at 11am and left at 8pm. So in all I probably spent 7 hours walking around. My legs hurt. I have to go back again tomorrow with my best friend and the guy she takes care of. Her boss runs the festival so we will be there all weekend. Talk about exercise. :p

My friend has decided to do the diet and exercise plan with me but while we are going to the festival we decided that this will be our cheat weekend. There is no way to eat right when you are at this thing. All there is, is basically junk food. So each day we get to pick one thing we want to eat while we are there.
Today mine was Crab cakes :p

It was a good day.

hope everyone has a good weekend

Hi Everyone!

PureFire... I am sooooo jealous that you indulged on crabcakes!

Leenie... Thanks for the warm welcome. I am looking forward to having an "extended family".

Marbear... Did I thank you yet for the baked chickpea idea???? I love chick peas anyway and can't wait to try it.

Heather... you doing okay? I admire your self-improvement endeavor. You're inspirational!

Momof4... How DO you do it? I have 2 under 13 and some days.... arghhhh!

Sorry if that I missed some of the rest of you. Just getting acclimated here.

:hug:

WOW what a weekend. My foster daughter went for a walk to clear her head last night and never came home. Finally when she did text me she said she was going to kill herself where no one could find her. I had to go to the police then to the crisis. She ran out of texts at 12 then finally turned her self into the hospital at 3am. The police called me. Then the hospital called. They already had a 302 on her from me reporting her suicidal comments. She just finished a set of steroids for her poison ivy and has only been off of them a few days so I am assuming they are messing with her head. I dont know I am so mixed on the whole subject. i dont know where they will send her after the mentil place. She left me a message this morning when I was sleeping. She wants me to bring her clothes but its lik an hour away where they took her. I spent my family night last night looking for her and at the police station so i dont really want to spend another family night driving to take her clothes. One way I think she didnt care about anyone else last night and bout how we felt. I dont know I think I am just tired of her using me and expecting me to do everything for her. She tends to manipulate me a lot. She expects I will run to her when she needs. But its a two way street. Such a long mess of a story I hope people dont judge me and think I am being harsh because I everyone knew all the things I have done and given up for her they would say the same thing I am saying.
I am just so torn..... I just stayed home today cause I was exhausted and didnt really want to talk to anyone. I did miss a few nights of meds and a few mornings so that is not helping I know.

Ok well I will have to do personals later just not really into it right now.

blue I dont know how I do it some days!!

Hi girls,

I had written a small post last night but the computer froze as I submitted it so I see it didn't make it.

Momof4, wow, I can't even imagine what kind of a night you had. Glad to hear your foster daughter is ok. I'll second it, I don't know how you do it. Did you get any rest today?

Purefire, well, what did your mom say about the house?

Marbear, how was your therapist appt?

Blueenough, did you try the roasted chickpeas? I've always meant to try it but haven't gotten around to it somehow.

Jelly, how was the weekend with the kids?

Heather, you doin ok? Haven't seen you in a few days.

I was off today. We went to see 'The Proposal'. I was pretty good, predictable but good. On another note, I haven't worked out in nearly a week. What is wrong with me? :?: I've had the opportunities but haven't done it. The good news is I still want to work out. Lots of times when I go a few days and don't do what I should it can lead to not working out for the next 6 months or a year even. I don't feel like that is going to happen. I hate this battle! :mad:

How was everybody's weekend?

I did get to sleep in. i had to turn the phone down in order to rest. then I got to swim in my moms pool today. I had to take two of her foster girls home with me cause we are going to the zoo and they have to ride with me. Which was ok cause they helped and bathed my girls for me while I got clothes laid out for tomorrow. Honestly if I was a little more organized things would run smoother but sometimes its so hectic there is no time to step back and organize. but when you have to get soooo many kids ready if you dont lay stuff out it never goes right in the morning SOMEONE cant find something..LOL


I am exhausted for some reason tonight. Everyone texts me and keeps asking how kaci is when I havent even been able to talk to her and I get tired of telling everybody the same thing but I dont wanna be rude and not answer...

hope-how is everything going for you over all? I am glad you WANT to work out....i havent wanted to ...i want to get skinny but its almost like forcing yourself to go to the dentist...it will be good for you but it is torture...UGGGHH...I AM DRINKING WATER!!! In like 3 days I have only had one pepsi....(I think) but I have been drinking water or skim milk. That is a step up for me!!

PureFire-so you can get started at my house with cleaning since your almost done...LOL



I will catch everyone later I need to get sleep for a long day at the zoo...

Hello Ladies :hug:

momof4 ~ Something like that is very hard and stressful. Your foster daughter is in a place where they can help her. You shouldn't jump for her and do everything that she wants. People with suicidal thoughts don't care or think about anyone else. They just think about themselves. (I have been one of those people.) Giving her what she want won't help her. You have to let her know that you are still there for her, but she needs to learn to think of other people instead of herself and not try to manipulate you. She needs to start doing for herself. You need to relax and rest and you need to take your meds. Without them things with seem alot worse than they really are.

Marbear ~ How are you doing? What happened with you therapist? Hope things are a little better.

Heather ~ How are you doing. I hope you are feeling a little better.

Jelly ~ Hope you had a good weekend with your kids.

I hope everyone else had a good weekend.

It has been such a long weekend.. My body is so sore from all the walking I did and pushing my best friends boyfriends wheel chair. It was a workout just pushing the chair especially up hills and on grass for hours. I kept saying I need to start working out and walking again. I haven't gone for my normal walk in over a week but this weekend I did alot of walking and pushing a 180lb guy in his wheel chair so I guess that should be considered working out. :p

I was actually worried about my mother's reaction. She came home on Friday and I met her at the festival. She had bought me a few things since I hadn't planned on going to the festival til later that day so I told her I would pay her back for what I got. When I saw her Saturday morning. She was like "I'm so impressed" When she looked she said "I can't believe you labeled everything. It looks wonderful. Then it was "well you don't have to pay me back you earned everything I bought for you yesterday." When I clean, I clean. I still have to finish the attic and repack a few boxes. The boxes I have stuff in don't have lids that fit on them and my apartment will be on the 3rd floor so I have to fix that.

Today I did bad on my diet but not to bad. I had a bloomin' onion at the festival which was so good, a smoothie and 2 mcchicken sandwiches for Mcdonald's. Today was the last day of the cheat weekend. So tomorrow I got back to eating right. The good/bad thing was that I was worried about what the scale would say at the end of the weekend so I weighed myself everyday. I lost 2 pounds. Now I am waiting to see the results when I get up in the morning. I normally weigh myself once a week. I think I was just worried that I would gain alot. The walking seemed to balance things out.

:lol: :rofl: I just found this so funny and I had to share. My boyfriend asked what I was doing and I told him I was posting a reply on here. He goes "you can post on there and tell them your boyfriend is hot!" :lol::yes: :rofl: He's horrible, and so conceited but it made me laugh. :lol:

Too restless and unmotivated to really post... so I'll leave you all with a :hug: instead.

Morning all - I am doing okay, thanks for thinking of me! It's a slower recovery than I expected: everyone said to me 'You're so fit, you'll be up and about in NO time!' Yes, up and about, but SO SLOOOOW! The pain has faded more to discomfort than anything, and very manageable :) The water weight is coming off too, so I am trying to focus on eating well and taking a short, slow walk every day. Being stuck in the house, bored, makes me want to eat - gah! LOL

Looking forward to being able to drive myself again, and just do little things - I vacuumed this morning, but I can't actually get the vacuum up and down the stairs, just push it around on one level. Dumb things like that, haha ;)

Hope, I really enjoyed The Proposal, and described it to friends the same way - very predictable, all been done before, but good talent and very enjoyable fluff! ;) Hang in there - WANTING to get a workout in really IS the hard part of the battle!! :hug:

Mom - you are stronger than you know. Tough days - and no one here is judging you. Thinking of you!

Marbear, Purefire - big :grouphug: atcha girlies. Pure - catching things before we "totally blow it" is a HUGE part of keeping on keeping on - good on ya!! :yes:

Leenie, Buddly, Sassy - where you girlies at?? Miss ya!!

Anyone heard from JudoMom? If you're reading this hon - thinking of you every day. :hug:

Chat soon, chickies!
Heather :D