Just two weeks ago I was 184... now I'm 191. Back in the 190's again.

I'm so so so so so sad and almost "panicked" feeling about this. I wonder whether I will EVER be at my goal, or even back into my old size 12 pants again. Will I EVER get over my binge eating problems? Will I ever feel like "myself" again?

I have been yo yoing like crazy ever since I had my baby -- TWO years ago.



I guess I just need a and maybe some encouragement from other moms who have been there (depression and feeling lost and anxious about weight loss)

Thanks

I battle this war every day.I can go a month and do very well then binge for a week straight.I dont have any great advice, just support.You are not alone and I think its important to know that.I have a friend who is a psychiatrist who says eating disorders are very hard to treat.Dont be so hard on yourself.

I know exactly how you feel. I walked and walked probably 30 miles or more in 3-4 weeks. I lost 5 pounds. Then, I injured myself and weighed myself just days after my injury (I wasnt able to exercise) and I gained it back...just like that. I told my husband. "What the heck! I worked so hard and walked so faithfully and lost 5 pounds....then, boom, as soon as I wasnt able to do it, it's back." I am just going to keep on keeping on. I REFUSE TO GIVE UP. This weight is not going to win!!!!

To you!

I too suffer from 2 eating disorders and it takes a LOT of strength and determination to get better. I have Bulimia and Compulsive Overeating.
I feel that if we try to stay focused and not give up when it's hard then we will make it over the mountains that deter us, we will be fine.

My friend (who is also a binger) and I often "joke" that there should be "rehab" for overeaters and binge eaters -- but we do honestly wish, not jokingly, that there was something like that...

I haven't posted anything for a long, long time -- but the message from Bumbleberry really hit home with me. I have been a binger for so many, many years -- struggle constantly -- and I also wish there could be a rehab group for us. I live in a small town, and we have AA and NA meetings everywhere -- but nothing for overeaters.

You might have a look at The Pathway by Laurel Mellin. She runs a program at UCSF (Center for Obesity Assessment, Study and Treatment) that addresses why we overeat. I found it to be very helpful. It got me out of the emotional triggers that cause me to go to food and I really no longer feel the need or desire to binge. It takes practice, but it can be done.

There's also a website: http://www.solutionmethod.org/index_rev.asp. Through it you can access their CD series and workbooks and get hooked up with support groups, even via the telephone. I've only done the first CD set and took advantage of a few telegroup sessions, but even that was helpful to me.

Georgia

Thank you.

Today I did not binge and I feel that I can take on the world.

Yesterday I binged and I thought I was the most worthless, hopeless mother in the universe.

i struggle with this problem as well...in a way i'm sure everyone does, its so disappointing to gain weight back after you've lost some, it really makes me want to give up but i just remember that it took me years to put this weight on and its going to take a while, ups and downs and a few rough days after work outs, a few cravings i wont allow myself to give in to... soon enough we'll be closer to our goals.

For those with compulsive overeating and other eating issues, try Overeaters' Anonymous -- there are usually chapters to be found everywheres...
https://www.oa.org/meetings/find-a-meeting/
As for the FRUSTRATION, I get it. For sure. I have found that a structured eating program has been really, really helpful, and those programs with support aka meetings (like WW) help me alot. That and THROWING THE SCALE OUT THE WINDOW is MOST helpful. Daily weighing is appropriate for maintenance, but not helpful when trying to lose weight. Your eye has to be on the long-term goal, which should be reasonable and achievable. And once a week weighing avoids the panic reaction to normal daily fluctuations in weight.
And on the bright side, you weigh less than your start weight, and there is no reason to panic yet! Get on a structured program that offers in-person support and relax...
Kira
ps. I know this is easier said than done, but YOU CAN DO IT!!!

Bumbleberry,

Please please please, don't take what I'm about to say the wrong way. You said that binging made you feel like the most worthless, helpless mother in the universe. You must stop thinking that way.

What do I mean? Respect is to hold someone in high regard. That means you are valuable and important. You are a valuable and important person to your child, your partner, your parents, siblings, family and friends, but it sounds like you don't see yourself as valuable and important.

When I read "Yesterday, I binged and I thought I was the most worthless helpless mother in the universe" I saw a successful person (40 pounds lost!!) give herself the beating up of a lifetime because she binged, maybe once a week or twice a week- or even five times a week- but she was successful in losing 40 pounds! Yes, there are some of us (myself included) who binge eat and can't help it. For a long time, I could eat a box of cookies, a extra large pack of McDonald's fries and a 5-pack of cinnamon rolls *that I had to cook* and I'd cry the whole time I ate.

But I will tell you something. My inspiration to stop came from two sources: my husband and my Sensei. My husband, firstly, knew that I had very low self-esteem. I hated my body, covered it up whenever I could with baggy clothes so noone could see the fat rolls. I didn't want to go out because I'd huff and puff up a small flight of stairs. He just nurtured me- told me I was beautiful. Told me and showed me that I was valuable and important to him. My self-esteem skyrocketed. I even started karate classes because at that point, I knew that I could do it. I may get winded, but I was going to damn well do karate.

My Sensei has to be one of the most dynamic people I have ever met. He can energise a room so easily. He also works with troubled youth, teaching them skills that make them feel as though they have accomplished something- and I've met them: they all have accomplished big life changes. But he teaches in such a way that he drags life lessons into his karate classes. It was Sensei who taught me the value of self-respect, because without that, how can you respect anyone else? How can you love someone if you don't know what loving yourself is like?

It is SO hard to change your way of thinking. It's taken me nearly 10 years to get to the point where I can walk with my eyes forward (not down) and my shoulders straight (not hunched).

If you'd like, take the following advice. You don't have to.
- tell yourself every morning, in a bright and cheery voice, that you are an important and valuable person. Smile a genuine smile when you do it. Tell yourself 3 things that you love about yourself- your hair, eyes, how lucky you are to have such a great partner and wonderful child(ren).

- love yourself even through the binges. We all fall off the wagon- some people more than others, but we all do. Dust yourself off. Get back on.

- keep a diary of when you binge and when you don't. Establish a pattern of when you binge and when you don't. Note feelings, times, activities- anything that might help you identify and remove the triggers. Soon, your not-binge times will vastly outnumber your binge times.

- walk with your shoulders straight and your eyes forward. Your mood will be better for it, and you will feel better for it.

Find an inspiration to give you a hand-up. Communication is SO important. Pick your best friend in the world, tell her what's going on, and ask her to be there to help you. Tell her that you need her to help you. Then tell another friend, or maybe your sister, or mother, or partner. Tell them what you expect from them (no patronising or contrite comments). Ask them if it's okay to call at midnight or at two in the afternoon. The more people in your support network, the better. They ALL have a stake in your weight loss, and they will all want to see you succeed.

I don't like to sound contrite or patronising and I feel that I may have come off that way. If I have inadvertently, I apologise. Weight loss is such a personal issue, and not everyone likes to have someone tell them what to do or how to do it. But honestly, the first step is to love and respect yourself. You are important and valuable- important and valuable enough to lose weight, improve yourself and your life, and maybe the lives of those around you.

You didn't binge today. Give yourself a pat on the back. Scream out "woohoo!". You were successful today and you will be successful tomorrow!

Well said Mollz.

I had a friend who was admitted to this program and it helped her A LOT:

http://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/Psych...ing_disorders/

I know how you feel. I've been stuck where I'm at for a while. Then I go to buy a treadmill, get it all set up, download podcasts to start running, and then BOOM I get a terrible flu. I'm sleeping 12 hours a day and literally feeling terrible. Didn't cook for myself at all and to top it off hubby was also sick so we just picked up bad food all weekend! I know I gained a few lbs back. I'm like dude just went I was gonna work out life throw's another curve ball!

BUT I'm not giving up. I'm hoping to be fully over this by Thursday and THEN I'm gonna start working out- I always say whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Sure I screwed up but it's not the end of the world, I'm getting back on the bandwagon of eating right today and in a few days I'll be back to exercising- so it'll be fine

You'll be fine too

I also agree with writing down when you binge- writing why you did it- what was going on- and so on, might make you stop repeating the patterns. I found out through writing that I was eating when I was bored, sad, happy, etc. I have slowly started remembering that food is fuel and nothing else. I don't need it when I'm happy or sad or angry. Even though I ate a lot when I was sick, it's still not NEARLY what I would eat when I was sick before I started to lose weight.