Hello Ladies,

Yikes, September is almost over.... where did it go?

How is everyone?

I really need help! I feel so sad and hopeless today. I weighed in at what I think is the most I have ever weighed in my entire life! I don't work on Mondays so I just spent the whole day in bed feeling bad. What the heck is wrong with me? I just wake up and there is this dark cloud and a feeling that is isn't worth it to even open my eyes.

My MD raised my thyroid meds and put me on megadoses of Vitamin D (I have a severe deficiency). I don't feel any different.

I called my husband at work. Poor guy - has to hear my incessant whining. He told me to get the heck out of the house and just walk on the treadmill at the gym for as long as I can.

So my mind does this thing "How worthless are you? The best thing you can do in a day is walk half a mile on a treadmill? Get back in bed."

I hate my life. I have all the knowledge about diet and exercise I need but I don't know why I can't do what I know I need to do?

thank you Leenie! it's an interesting birthday to say the least. lots going on around here. my mom had water in her house from Ike and we're trying to dry out the place and see about fixing it - no flood insurance. she's been staying at my house but FEMA put her in a hotel yesterday.

anyway for my birthday we are going out to eat on Friday night and see "Fireproof" - if nobody changes our plans ;-)

thanks for remembering girlie!!!

MissKoo - I'm sorry for what you are going thru. may i ask what thyroid meds are you taking? I take Armour Thyroid which also contains T3 which is a huge factor in treating depression, etc. the synthetic thyroid meds only contain T4. please check out the info at www.stopthethyroidmadness.com and let me know if i can help with any of the info there.

hope everybody is doing well
hugs
cathy

Hi, all. Happy Birthday, Cathy.

This will have to be short because I'm in pain and I want to go cozy up to my heating pad. I woke up with a terrible lower back ache. It's so bad I'm missing music class right now, after all that work i did on my fictitious instrument.

being in pain means I didn't get a very restful sleep, so if the pain weren't enough to make me grumpy and moody, well...

:grump:

Happy birthday, Sassy, in case I can't log in til after it's over.

I hate my life too, and I feel worthless myself.. don't feel bad. I actually have been having urges to cut because nobody understands me in the SBD board and it's making me feel even more worthless.

Hey I understand what your feeling don't cut yourself it will make you feel better at the time but it to wears off to , I to feel like crap this month you and I need to look back and try to find out what happen to make us feel this way I talk to my therpist today she ask me it I was done with my pitty party and ask me what really going on it came out I still have guilt feeling over my moms death I need to forgive me but its so dam hard its coming up the day she pass away I feel like I should have done more but I don't know what more is Iam so tried I just want to go away, Iam angly I wanted more and got less, I been told I come a long way but I just don't feel it I feel so lost at times I don't know if Iam coming or going, I never thought it would take this long to fix things , only been working on making me better for 2 years my like has been mess up for the last 46 I need to beleave in more and so do you! we could all use more of these

I did once have a therapist.. actually I had several. It seems none of them helped much. I may be just one of the people that you just can't help, I dunno. I was diagnosed with Major Depression, which is a more severe form of depression, it really does suck. My last therapist I could absolutely tell everything to because she was so comforting to talk to and she cares about me as a few teachers and the Social Worker from my High School as well. I am a 'so called recovered' cutter but still get urges every now and then but have controlled it on alot of occasions so I guess that's a good thing, but drive me over the edge and I slip up. It sucks always being depressed, never having anything to look forward to, not having a life.. all I've ever wanted in my life basically is to be thin before I die, because weight is VERY important to me. And that too I have major issues with. All of my problems make me fear life, I cannot go out somewhere without people thinking that I'm fat or ugly or whatever.. it affects my daily life obviously.

Iam have major depression to I guess I was lucky and the first one i went to has and still is good for me 2 years ago I weight 268 and I thought I was happy and there was not a dam thing wrong with me then I decided to loose weight so I join MRC and it be great for me but as I start droping the weight I became piss off all the time so bad I would losse my temper if some one look at me funny I thank god the the manger of MRC never gave up on me so stuck with me and ask me to see some one I told her no intill I really lost it and a thepist at the center told me I need to see some one and she gave me Karin name and told me she would be a good match for me , I told her to f off and I went to see Karin the more weight I lost the more tee off I became . I done things to myself and made them look like a accident , what I like about Karin when I first meet her she agree me that I had a right to be piss off she was the only person who never ask me it I was going to hurt myself, i still take 2 steps forward and then I hae the days I take 3 backwards , I never thought any one care for me but I was wrong The manger of MRC care about me and still does , she is the only person I let hug me Karin still helps me a lot weather I want to admit it or not today is a day I feel not, I went as far as to get tattos because it was some one else putting the pain on me not me doinging it to myself , I relizle this after the 3 one in less than a month I was told I need to stop it , at times I feel like a 10 year old in a 48 year old body I want a childhood that I never had and never will have , oh by the way I now weight 170lbs and trying to loss another 30 lbs and with Karin and MRC I will make it to 140 and in time I need to learned to love me which by the way most of the time I hate me. Debby

you can be help but you have got to want it and not give up on you !!! after all we are good people

Hi all,

Happy Birthday Cathy!! Good to see you! Your poor mom!

Big to all the newbies on here. Most of us have been where you are. I hope you find some relief soon.

Twilit, hope your back feels better. Back problems can really knock you out of doing anything and everything.

Night night...

Hello All!!

Happy Birthday Cathy!! Enjoy your night out!!

Debby, Jellybean and misskoo!! Looking forward to getting to know all of you better. This is a great little corner with a lot of lovely and understanding ladies. I'm sorry you are all feeling so down. I know September has been a rough month for me for some reason as well. We'll make it through together.

Tera sorry to hear that you're in so much pain. I hope you feel better soon.

Hi Hope!! Night Hope!

Big Hello's to everyone!

Today hasn't been so bad for a Monday. Right after I got to work I gave myself a nice burn on my forearm, it touched the metal at the end of the fry basket handle and I didn't realize it was so hot. The girls say I have a happy face on my arm now! (their positiveness didn't impress me!) The one side has started to peel so I'm scared to take my shower as its going to sting like crazy! Anyway that was my excitement for the day. Glad I don't have to go back to work until Thursday! Gives me time to heal! Came home and actually cooked a real dinner second night in a row. I don't know what I've been up to, but it doesn't feel like I've been doing anything or really here.

Well I should toodle here and see what trouble I can get myself into.

Take care everyone
K

Good Morning Ladies

Sassy Happy Birthday Tomorrow LOL are you 21?

Buddly my gosh.. how is your arm, that had to hurt

Twilit, hows your back sweetie... boy I understand back pain. Have you been checked out by a doc?

Hope, how are you hon?

Heather love, where are ya?

Cathy, did you have a great Birthday?

MissKoo, darling your not alone. I can't understand why I do what I do. We have all the resources, knowledge, etc....but!!! Don't hate yourself because you don't understand.... if anything, be more kind to yourself and sympathetic because you don't understand. Life is about learning and you know what...we'll get there.

Jelly... you must learn to love yourself before other can darling, if you can't accept yourself, how will others. Don't judge yourself on what you think others are thinking about you because you really don't know what they are thinking. People who make fun of others usually have a deeper problem then us, so making fun of others just makes them feel good for a second (kinda like a drug) and when that person is out of site... their misery comes back. I do understand about feeling self concious, but don't let that ruin your life... does this make sense, I ask because I don't write well..sorry

Deb how are you? I'm so glad you joined this little group. Wow, your WL is teriffic...good job!!! I love that you said "we are good people" .... how true is that Nice to see you here.

Well ladies... I must run. Work calls

Luv Yah's !!!!

Leenie

I missed you guys so much yesterday!

My back is a little better - good enough that I can get in the pool this afternoon and stretch it out and make it feel better still.

No doctors, Leenie. I have no medical insurace and burned a lot of cash in August when I sprained my knee. If I'm not paralyzed and haven't been in severe pain for over three days, I'm treating myself at home. Usually, I know exactly how to put myself right anyway.

Still tired... grumpy... unmotivated... It's amazing the difference rest makes in my attitude. B emailed to suggest taking a nap. I might follow his advice.

Thanks Hope, K, Sassy, and all for your well-wishes. :group hug:

Welcome new peoples!