[LittleKiwi]

I've suffered from depression for years but have only been diagnosed fairly recently. Have tried a few different meds and the current one seems to have levelled me out a lot.

I'm able to get up in the mornings and go to work which is a huge change but I feel like I don't know who I am anymore, I don't know where the depression ends and where the real me starts. I also have a lot of self hatred and can't see anything that is really good about me at the moment.

I can't afford to see a counsellor and I don't know what else is out there that could possibly help me. Any suggestions? I love reading so perhaps someone out there has read a book that is good for building self esteem ......

Any comments would be most welcome

[settie]

I have also suffered from depression for many years and I have actually been off work for a year and a half now because of my depression. Although I am on meds that seem to be helping I still have many very bad days. I am seeing a psycologist and she is helping me through a Cognitive Behavior Therapy program. I am finding it quite helpful.

The main book she uses is: 'Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy' by David D. Burns. He also has a workbook that goes with it for people who are doing it alone. i.e. without a psycologist.

I hope this can help you a bit.

[shrinkingchica]

Originally Posted by LittleKiwi

I feel like I don't know who I am anymore, I don't know where the depression ends and where the real me starts.

I know that I have felt this many a time and I bet others have too. It is hard to differentiate between your mind and something that is poisoning your mind sometimes.

But, it is good that you are able to get back to normal functioning. That is a major step!

If you could find any way at all to see a consellor, I would. Maybe your school or work offers one. Or, you could even go to see a priest, rabbi, minister for some support and guidance.

I like to journal to get my thoughts down on paper, to see them, own them and in my healthier times I can look back and see how really ill I was and that that was not the real me.

I don't really read too many self-help books, so I don't know what to suggest--- but ones that incorporate CBT can be the most helpful with trying to get functioning back quickly.

I wish you all the best.

[hunnasgirl]

I have never replied to a post like this before but lately I have not been myself and as much as I hate to admit it, I think that I am suffering from depression. Like you, I cannot afford counseling but my sister, who works at a church, suggested that I call local churches (the bigger ones can help non-members more than the smaller ones). I called a few and found some that have community outreach programs and have doctors who volunteer to give counseling - individual, family, marital, etc. I don't think they write prescriptions but they do have weekly counseling for FREE! And because they are actually doctors as opposed to church people, they are not there trying to convert you - they help like they would if they were doing it at their job. Hope this helps.